


Destination Zero

by MortisBane



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: Thrawn Series - Timothy Zahn (2017)
Genre: Child Death, Ezra Sabine sibling dynamic, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi plot fic, Mysteries, Space Road Trip, Thrawn Alliances spoilers, galaxy exploring adventures, no beta we die like men, post rebels epilogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-01-07 15:03:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 157,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18413063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MortisBane/pseuds/MortisBane
Summary: Grand Admiral Thrawn and Ezra Bridger have been missing for six years.  But In the aftermath of the fall of the Empire, the search for them is on.  Eli Vanto in search of Thrawn, Sabine and Ahsoka in search of Ezra.  It's a race to the finish, with many obstacles that will come and block their paths.





	1. Prologue

Eli knew something was wrong the moment the communication came on before him.  Mitth'ras'safis, who he considered his closest friend made out in all of Chiss space, and had aided him on the rough transition into Chiss culture and life.  Along with Admiral Ar’alani, the pair were of much use to him, easing him into Chiss customs, leading eventually to his own position in the Expansionary Defence Fleet.  The past seven years had been hard, but Eli was able to throw himself fully into his work, getting a complete understanding for the efforts put forth by Thrawn back in the Empire.  He moved about it so effortlessly, Eli thought it was truly effortless, now he’s seen how hard the man worked through it all.

Outside of learning all the differences between the Chiss Defense Fleet and Imperial Navy, he above all, learned the vast differences in social interactions.  Thrawn, while not a perfect model for Chiss (Eli came to learn quickly), was still accurate in displaying their subdued natures, and high regards to formalities.  If any member of the Aristocra were to formally visit a Defence Fleet Admiral, it was customary to alert said ship and admiral well in advance, with both reason for the visit and requirements to be fulfilled upon arrival.

And Eli was very used to this standard, hardwired it into his mind as his default now.  But this message came suddenly, for his attention only, alerting him of Mitth'ras'safis’ imminent arrival, and not a bit of information on what was so urgent he’d skip formalities.  Eli stood there, after the message had long since terminated, mind a swath with the reasoning behind this move. A habit he unintentionally picked up from Thrawn, that only seemed to get worse as he spent more time with Chiss.

War declaration, Civil War, assassination attempts, bombings, all these scenarios came to him, but Eli shook them off.  Even under those circumstances, all the formalities would have preceded his visit. Eli sighed internally-far too conscious of his outward appearance here to do that aloud-and brought forth the most logical possibility.  He knew, he just didn’t want to believe it. The only thing to explain Mitth'ras'safis’ urgency, the one and only thing to make him forego all the pomp and circumstance. Was that Thrawn was dead.

It would be the only thing that Mitth'ras'safis would come to tell him personally, on such short notice, enough to sacrifice proper procedure.  Information about Thrawn’s status were spotty and, more often than not, non-existent. It hurt, to think it, and to see the truth of the matter laid before him.  He so badly wanted to reach for his chest, and hold the ache originating there. But he didn’t. There were matters at hand.

The Aristocra were keeping information from him, and he had many theories as to why.  As a Human, he was untrusted, even after years of service and loyalty, they did not trust him or Thrawn’s reason for sending him.  Their biggest reason being Eli’s “out of control Human emotions”. Which only made him strive to prove them wrong. Seven years later he could appear just as stoic as the prudest of Chiss, when he wanted to be.

Currently, his ship was stationed in a patrol sector, a very uneventful assignment, but convenient.  He passed bridge control over and made his exit, giving one quick nod to his navigator, who seemed either curious or concerned for him to suddenly leave the bridge before his scheduled shift ended.  He could hardly tell with them, their Force nature, made everything even more ambiguous that with normal Chiss. Out of the bridge he allowed his shoulders to fall, only slightly, and made for one of the smaller meeting rooms he ordered to be prepped for Mitth'ras'safis’ arrival.  The Chiss would most likely appreciate the gesture of formalities, even amidst distressing situations.

One thing Eli greatly preferred over the Empire, was how the Chiss were efficient and timely.  If something was requested, the task would be addressed immediately, thoroughly and swiftly. By the time he’d made his way to the conference room, it had already been emptied and prepped for him.  While in the Empire, you’d be lucky if a simple task like that would be completed within a full cycle, and when it wasn’t Eli sometimes had to do it himself. He always told Thrawn he owed him for that.  Now Thrawn wouldn’t get to repay him. Not that he actually needed to be, but now the light hearted joke felt depressive. A frown tugged on his lips, but he schooled it back quickly before he passed any of his crew.   No need for thoughts like that. Not that it stop them.

Less than a standard hour before Mitth'ras'safis’ arrival, Eli sat to wait, finally allowing his mind to focus on the depth of the situation, alone.  Thrawn was dead. It seemed almost impossible to consider, Thrawn, so confident and seven steps ahead, or to the side, of his enemies, how could anyone or thing get the upper hand and kill him.  An ache pulled at his heart, a cold, tight, coiling pain making his eyes gloss over and his throat dry up. He forced both these feelings away, but even with years of practice, he couldn’t perfect it.

His time in the Ascendancy had helped to keep his mind off of Thrawn’s status, especially after he lost any amount of updates on him, but now he was forced to face the thing he only ever encountered on late restless nights.  Thrawn was dead, and he’d never get the chance to share his experiences with him. Never get to share the advances they’d been making towards the threat to the Unknown Regions, Thrawn first mentioned so long ago. Never get to reveal his true feelings about him, all his chances squandered.

He wished to of at least seen him one more time, only having the final portrait taken of him before Eli’s departure and older ones gifted to him by Mitth'ras'safis.  He wished now to of tried taking some secretly all those years at the Chiss’ side. To catch those moments of contemplation, small elation of a plan coming together, that tiny smile of success.  That look of pride when Eli impressed him, or met his expectations. Those exist only him his mind now.

The door chimed, jarring him from his thoughts, having him sit straighter in his chair.  The door whooshed open, and Mitth'ras'safis came through, looking much more flustered than Eli thought he’d ever seen the man.  He began to stand, prepared to greet him properly.

“Mitth'ra-”

“Eli!”  Thrass cut him off, heading straight for the Human, hands gripping his upper arms tightly.  Eli froze, stunned into silence, hand stuck where he had been reaching out. Thrass was never one to disregard formalities and procedures like this, never to address Eli by anything other than Vanto outside of personal residence, never interrupted anyone, and never has he ever initiated unnecessary contact without telegraphed warning.  Eli just stood there, eyes wide, mouth open, staring at the concerned looking Chiss before him, then drifted his gaze down to where the blue hands held him.

“I-”  He tried again only for Thrass to interrupt yet again.

“Apologies for my rude bluntness, but I bring very dire news.”  As Thrass released his grip, Eli finally stepped back and calmed himself.

“Thrawn is dead.”  Eli spoke, voice dropping, betraying the thoughts that had lingered in his mind the past years.  Thrass returned his arms to himself, slowly steeling himself back to normal, but the feel of melancholy remained.

“No, not exactly.”  The relief that rushed through his veins at that still held an edge of ice to it and he didn’t allow himself to relax.  “The Ascendancy has been withholding information from you.”

“Yes I noticed.  Please, sit down, you look winded, which is saying something.”  Thrass nodded, taking to the chair Eli gestured to, himself returning to his original seat as well.  “I know they’ve been keeping things from me, I’m sure because nothing good has been happening to him while I’ve been away.  And they didn’t trust me not to chase back after him?”

“Yes, that is why they refused to tell you, and forbade me from saying anything.  They are still unsure of your loyalties as a Human.” Understatement of the century, Eli thought fighting off a huff.

“Thrass, please, just tell me.”  His voice strained, more emotion leaking through than he would have wanted, but the agony of waiting was getting to be too much.  Years of uncertainty, and the answers lay just before him. Thrass took a deep break, locking their eyes, reflecting the most sympathetic look he’d ever seen any Chiss wear.

“Six years ago,” he paused, uncertainty lacing his words in a way that terrified Eli, “we lost all contact with my brother.”

“What do you mean lost all contact?!”  Eli couldn't help raising his voice, this sort of beating around the bush was uncommon for Thrass, for any Chiss he met.  They always got to the point, and stringing him along like this was confusing as well as frustrating.

“We stopped receiving updates from him and our informants who have been keeping an eye on the Empire had no answers on his status.  There was an uprising on the planet he was stationed on, Lothal I believe is what they call it, but it is unclear what exactly happened there, and in terms of his life, its status is unknown.”  Unknown? Unknown?! How could he say that, how could no one know what happened to him. Thrawn wouldn’t turn awol against his people, against Eli, he just wouldn't, he couldn’t do that. Not to him.

“H-How is that possible?”  Thrass shook his head, gaze falling to the side before coming back.

“That’s as much as any of us know.  We’ve lost contact with him, and any trace of him in the space you come from is gone.  We’ve been looking but nothing has been found.” Eli’s heart ached, more than how it would ache the lonely nights spent re-reading Thrawn’s journals he’d given him, trying to pretend his eyes were wet from tired yawns.

“Why are you telling me this now?  Are they giving up on him?” His voice fell softly, some of the steel fading away, his eyes drawing to the ground.  That almost seemed worse.

“The Empire has fallen.  We just received word yesterday of a treaty being signed.  The Empire has dissolved in total, and this New Republic is rising to take its place.  Our interest in that region is now at its end, and with the Empire being crushed, the likelihood of Thrawn being there alive is slim.”

“So, he’s being declared dead.”  That was that, dead or not, to his people Thrawn would be put to rest.  No body, no memorial, just the acknowledgement of a passing and the continuation of everyone’s day.  Would anyone else besides them even take notice?

“No, he’s being declared a lost cause, in a sense.  Our informants are pulling out, and we will not be partaking in any relations with this new government.”  Eli drew his brows together, matching eyes with Thrass again.

“You don’t think he’s dead.”  Thrass brought his hands together, a subtle nervous tick Eli noticed over the years.

“No I do not, but there is no one in the Ascendancy who can go in search of him.”

“Except for me.”  Eli understood now, his part in this.  Thrass nodded slowly, a somber smile playing on his lips.

“You know that region of space, its people and language, more than any Chiss, and with as minimal direct ties to the Ascendancy.  I came directly from a meeting discussing our plans ahead.”

“Would they even allow me to go?”  Eli couldn't imagine they would. Ever since arriving here, he was under constant watch, facing continuous tests and never given full trust by his Chiss “comrades”.  He was on an invisible leash, meant to keep him close and not running off on escapades, as Thrawn had been known to do. Which didn’t stop him from pushing the envelope from time to time.

“Only under certain circumstances,” Thrass began, as if sensing his thoughts, “which I was lucky enough to even negotiate.”

“What are they?”  Steeling himself, he braced for them.

“They would allow you to go, if, and only if you had probable cause on behalf of the Eighth Ruling family.  Giving you propper motivation to leave your post in search of another in that family.”

“So, adoption?”  Eli ran a hand through his hair subconsciously, feeling his exasperation beginning to bleed through.  “Is that what they want?”

“They would never agree to that, already embarrassed by Thrawn’s actions.  They would never willingly adopt you into the family. The only way would be for you to be bonded to a member.”

“You mean marriage?”  The word felt foreign on his tongue, he hadn’t spoken about Chiss bonding since he first learned it in one of his cultural lessons.  Eli never thought he’d get married back home, let alone here in Chiss space. Not that he’d never daydreamed once or twice about the idea.

“Yes, if you bond to a member of the Eighth Ruling family, you would be given just jurisdiction to leave your post in search of Thrawn.”

“I’m unclear on the exact traditions of Chiss bondings, who would even agree to that, you?”  A marriage of necessity or no, Eli would rather not have to marry Thrawn’s brother, not with his own not so platonic thoughts on Thrawn.

“No, as a Syndic, I need to be open to bonding as seen fit by the family.  Chiss bond for life, regardless if your mate dies, you can never re-bond. Most bondings are used to create good relations between families, and are good social pawns in the overall political spectrum.”  Eli hoped his posture relaxation didn’t come off as too relieved.

“Then who would be willing to give up their life bond just so I could go in search for Thrawn?”  Eli wasn’t exactly popular amongst Chiss. The few he could call friends were his sky-walkers actual children, and Ar’alani, who wasn’t part of the Eighth Ruling Family.

“Thrawn.”  Eli had felt his composure slipping before, face emoting more, body language telegraphing, becoming looser, but all thoughts of composure were gone now.

“What do you mean Thrawn, he isn’t here, might not even be alive.”  The idea still stung to say, but currently was overpowered by surprise and some embarrassment at how that made his heart jump.  His face warming up, and he was helpless to Thrass’ intense, mildly infrared, gaze.

“He’s not declared dead, so he is open for life bonding.”

“Still, doesn’t he need to be at least present?”

“Not exactly, I already spoke on this, and arranged that, if you agreed, we could bond you to him.  As both Syndic and Thrawn’s blood brother, I have the closest rights to bond him with another. As long as you are willing, we just need to finalize paperwork and you can go in search of him.  And Eli, I ask this of you as a personal favor, you are the only one we can send to search for my little brother. And I have gone far too long since I’ve seen him, I’d like you to bring him home.  Or at least, bring back closure.” Eli leaned forward, resting his hand on Thrass’ forearm gently. Usually this gesture would off put any Chiss, even Thrass, but he leaned into the contact, giving Eli a grateful look.  Eli’s own storm of emotions could wait a moment, because despite what dueling feelings he felt, he already knew his answer.

“Thrass, for you, and for Thrawn, I would travel to the ends of any Galaxy.  I will gladly bring him home, and I promise you I won't rest until I find him.”  Thrass’ lips turned up in a smile, one bigger than any Chiss smile Eli had seen.

“Thank you Eli Vanto, and I welcome you to the Eighth Ruling Family.”

* * *

 

Mitth’elivanto.  This was to be his new name, and with a few signs of his name and the placing of his thumb print, he was wed.  It did not take long for the papers to be finalized, with Thrass filling the place of Thrawn, and by the end of the next cycle, Eli had a new name and now a place in the Chiss family hierarchy.  Before he need not be claimed to any specific family, the situation which brought him here allowed him some exceptions. That and no family would want him to claim their name. But now it was official, he was part of the Mitth family, and Eli had a husband, well, a bonded.  Just a few more cycles for new management of his ship and get full clearance and he was prepared to leave.

“Congratulations, Mitth’elivanto.”  Mitth'ras'safis said, while grabbing his forearm in a customary greeting.

“Thank you, Mitth'ras'safis, I am honored.”  They stood in the docking bay of his own command ship, his personal shuttle waiting for him nearby, the same one he’d originally arrived in all those years ago.  Already he’d changed into civilian clothes, a simple tan tunic with an old brown jacket thrown over top, and brown slacks tucked into his stout boots. Even his hair was untouched, ruffled into mild unkempt.  His Defense Fleet uniform far too contrasting to take back to his galaxy. But now the members of his crew around them were definitely staring.

“No, thank you.  I cannot convey how grateful I am that you are taking up this task.”

“As I said, if you hadn’t given me a proper way to leave in search of him, I may have just gone on my own.”  Which isn’t a total lie, he definitely thought he would have put up one hell of a fight if told he couldn’t.

“You deeply care for my brother, don’t you.”  Eli smiled, nodding his head slowly.

“Yes, I do.”  More than Thrass maybe knew, and more than Eli knew he should.

“I wish you luck.  And here,” He released Eli’s hand, pulling out a small communicator handing it off.  “Please keep me updated on your progress. I’d also very much like to hear his voice again if you find him.”

“I promise.  You have my word.”

“Finally, this.”  Next he pulled a slim box from within his robes, Eli taking that as well.  “If you find my brother, these are for you both.”

“Thank you.”  They exchanged smiles, quick salutes and Eli turned to leave.  He boarded the shuttle, which was most likely to be his home for an untold amount time, heading for the cockpit to get his journey underway.  Thrass remained in his spot, watching the shuttle prep and rise.

He had them test all of the systems, to make sure the old girl was fit for flight and everything had come back green, so, in theory, he should be fine.  Giving one final wave, Eli pushed the engines, boosting out of the hangar, and off into space. One final look at his ship, he felt fondness clinging to him.  He would miss his crew, especially his navigators. Those poor girls actually looked heart broken to wish him farewell. He hoped someone might play with them and keep them entertained in his absence.  He couldn’t keep his thoughts on them, he had a mission to accomplish.

Thrawn was out there, and Eli was going to find him, even if it lead to his own demise.  He was relatively deep into the Unknown Regions, and the trip back to his known universe would take some time in and of itself, but then the jump to his first destination added even more time.

Thrass told him, Thrawn’s last check in had been while stationed on Lothal.  So that was his first stop to pick up on the trail of where he’d gone. Unfortunately, it was on the clear other side of the galaxy.  It could take upwards of nine days to reach the outer rim planet. Luckily, he’d only need to stop once to refuel along the way. He was used to being in confined spaces such as this for extended periods of time, so, keying the navi-computer the coordinates, he prepared the initial jump.  With just a few button presses, he leaned over his controls, pulled one lever, and the landscape of stars around him stretched into the long blurred tunnel of hyperspace.

With his ship underway, Eli moved to the holocontrols.  Hoping he could recall the frequency right, he booted up what used to be the Empire’s Holo News.  It took a few seconds, the signal waves needing to travel farther than intended to an unknown receiver making it a jumpy start, but slowly the hazy blue hologram bloomed to life before him.  However, rather than the trademarked Imperial Holo News symbol, something not recognizable to Eli appeared. An aurebesh ‘N’ and ‘R’, touching side by side, rotated slowly above the projector, and a soft, not Imperial accented, voice filled his shuttle.

“ _ You are listening to the New Republic News Outlet, please stand by for scheduled updates.” _  Eli wasn’t surprised to see the change, if Thrass’ intel was correct and the Empire was thoroughly and formally abolished, this New Republic would be eager to wipe the galaxy with the grime of the Empire.  But hearing his native language, on a native tongue for the first time in seven years, made goosebumps rise on his arms.

“ _ Today in New Republic News: In the wake of the Galactic Concordance we finally see the last remnants of the Empire fully defeated.  Now that the threat of any further Imperial uprisings, the newly elected Chancellor, Mon Mothma issued this statement.” _

The symbol disbursed, recollecting in the shape of a thin woman with short hair in long robe like clothing.  Eli recognized her a bit, back during his Empire days, a very outspoken senator from, Chandrilla.

_ “With the remaining pieces of the Empire now wiped from our galaxy, it is time to focus on furthering our New Republic.” _  The soft voice came over the projector, edging a bit on the quiet side, but that look in her eyes and the way she poisoned her body, told she had a fire inside, refusing to be extinguished.   _ “Our first step in the newly appointed senate will be the passage of the Military Disarmament Act.  Upon which as much as ninety percent of our current military holdings shall be dissolved. No justified government shall need to rule through fear or power.  We shall rule fairly and justly for all the inhabitants of this galaxy.” _  Her image dissolved, returning again to the New Republic symbol.

_ “This statement was delivered yesterday and since then the Military Disarmament Act has gone to vote and passed near unanimously in the senate.  Today marks the beginning of a new era for our galaxy. Stay tuned for further statements from those senators whose votes were taken.” _

Eli switched the holoprojector off, leaning back in his chair again.  Seven standard years he’d been away from his galaxy, his old home, without a single lifeline back to it.  The place he was returning to, might be entirely different from the one he left behind, and Eli was unsure if he was ready.  He left a reigning Empire, the smallest hints of Rebel cells beginning to rise, and a confident Grand Admiral behind. And he was walking into a destroyed Empire, the puny Rebels turned government, and a missing war criminal.  Though, he knew he’d prevail. Intentionally or not, Thrawn, and then later his people, taught Eli a number of things, many of which hardened him more to battles, reality, and failures. But more importantly, how to achieve success.  He could handle anything that came at him, that just didn’t mean he would be happy to take on the hurdles.

Spinning to face the swirling expanse of hyperspace, Eli half closed his eyes, allowing the mixing starlight to relax him.  He’d need rest for his search, and the new galaxy he’d need to discover. This may be his last chance to rest for some time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My new multi chapter fic, this one I've been working on for almost a year now and am happy with how well its been going on so far! Here's the prologue, to kick start this adventure!
> 
> The update schedule is going to be two a week, every Tuesday and Friday, hoping to get the story all wrapped up by the time Thrawn Treason comes out in July. I'll be at Celebration this weekend, so the update might be late on Friday, or very early, but I'll try and get it out. If any of you are going hit me up!
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the start, I'll see you Friday!  
> Stay Wizard  
> ~Mortis
> 
>  
> 
> Fun Fact: ELI IS A POC, DON'T WHITE WASH HIM PLEASE <3


	2. Memories - Eli - Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note so there isn't any confusion, if a chapter is labeled memories, then it's flashback chapter occurring in the past. And whichever character's name is in the chapter title that's who's story we'd be continuing. Enjoy!

“Well Sir, my shuttle is prepped, all my belonging are on board and I’ve just ended transmission with my parents.  Everything is ready.” Eli said, standing opposite of Thrawn, his desk between them. The Chiss in question sat in his chair, setting his datapad off to the side, abandoning whatever claimed his attention before.

He had received assignment over Lothal, at Governor Pryce’s request it seemed.  Eli couldn’t hide how glad he was do be leaving so he no longer had to associate with the woman.  He still couldn’t shake the chilling feeling he got from the woman, even less now after what had happened at Batonn, and how certain they were that she was behind it.  Though, he wished someone was left to keep an eye on Thrawn for him, the woman was manipulative, not that Thrawn couldn’t handle her himself, Eli was just concerned.

“Well done Commander Vanto.”  Thrawn stood from his chair, clasping hands behind his back and strolling around his desk.  “Or, after today, you shall just be Eli Vanto again.” He fixed Eli with one of his dissecting stares, for when he was searching for something.  And Eli knew him well enough now to know what he was searching for.

He was searching to see Eli’s reaction to the loss of rank.  To see if there were any reservations still within him. A hint that Eli wasn’t truly dedicated to his new mission.  But he knew Thrawn would never find it. He was ready for this assignment, welcomed it excitedly. Any concerns he’d done away with long before this day had come.

“And I won’t have to address you as sir anymore.”  Eli gave Thrawn a sad smile, mixed with the ache of parting and the excitement of a new adventure.  Thrawn returned it in his own way. A small upturn to his lips and a subtle inclination to his head.

“Are you positive you will undergo this excursion, Eli?  You may still change your mind, I in no way wish to force this decision upon you.”  Eli took a step closer, needing to look up at Thrawn, who inclined his head down slightly more.

“ _ I swear this oath to carry out the duties of the Chiss Ascendancy, and to you Mitth’raw’nuruodo. _ ”  He spoke in fluent Cheunh bowing his head.  “I have made my choice, and I’m stickin’ to it.”  It took quite some time of late night lessons for Eli to start learning the basics of Chiss grammar and vocabulary, but he’s come a long way since starting.  And perhaps dedicated more private time to getting that particular phrase down. Thrawn’s face broke into a soft smile, the area around his eyes softening. Blue hands grabbed his shoulders, holding them firmly.  Eli beat down the jump in his heart at the gesture.

“ _ Thank you Eli, my gratitude is unparalleled. _ ”  He answered, his native language coming smoothly and naturally from his mouth.  Always, the complicated tones and syllables of Chiss language sent a shiver down his spine.  Or maybe just when Thrawn spoke them, he wouldn’t find out until he’d made it to Chiss space.  But deep down, Eli knew which it was.

“Be cautious and safe.  I trust my brother and Ar’alani to protect you, but my people can be very untrustworthy of outsiders.  I would not send you if I did not believe your skills would be fully expanded there.” Eli’s own people were un-trusting of outsiders like him who just lived far from the core.  And of course of Thrawn. He’d long since grown used to it. He’d proved himself once, he could do it again. Regardless of any aversions he would of had, he’d do anything should Thrawn simply ask.

“Worrying doesn’t look good on you.”  Eli teased, raising his hand to wrap around one of Thrawn’s wrists.  “I will be fine, I’m more concerned about you being here without me to look after you.”  Thrawn didn’t laugh, not in any human way. He would smile softly and let out a long hum, and a nod to his head, Eli learning this was as close as the Chiss had ever gotten.  At least while in his galaxy. He still cherished the few moments he would give Eli a chuckle.

If he was being honest with himself, Thrawn worrying about him did actually look good on him.  An outward expression of care, which he knew was hard for the Chiss to express, meant everything to Eli.  He knew his safety mattered to him, just as Thrawn’s safety mattered to Eli. Yet, there was something about seeing it on his face or in his body stance that made a heat rise deep in Eli’s chest.

“While I don't expect to find some young Chiss there who will get roped into being my translator, I'm sure I’ll manage.  You just focus on molding the Empire so it could be of better use out there.” Eli gave Thrawn's arms a soft pat prompting to be released.  Though he partially wished he wouldn’t. “ _ We will see each other again. _ ”

“ _ Our eyes shall meet one another's before our lights extinguish. _ ”  Eli gazed at the Chiss, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.  Their lights? Probably referring to death, or maybe not? “It is an old Chiss saying, meaning, before we die, we will meet again.”

“A little morbid but I'll take it.”  Honestly, the sentiment warmed his heart.  Made him feel like they weren’t just superior and subordinate parting for a mission.  That they were truly friends, and, Eli mused, they were. All They've been through, the loyalties for each other.  And it was clear Thrawn held Eli in higher esteems than any others he interacted with.

So yes, Eli felt that they were truly friends.  But, deep in his heart, Eli always wished something else from them.  Over the years at Thrawn’s side, watching his brilliance, having Thrawn bolster Eli’s own skills.  Being one of the few people the Chiss trusted most in the Empire, maybe even the most. He couldn’t help yearning for more than could be given.

But that wasn’t the nature of their relationship.  Friends, yes, but what lay deep in Eli’s heart, the place he never dared looked except late at night when he couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t have that.  It was meant to be something kept locked away, forgotten about and in time it would pass. So, looking up at Thrawn, he smiled, content for now to at least hold his friendship.

“Shall I escort you to your shuttle?”  Glancing back behind him, to the exit of Thrawn’s office, and felt himself hesitate.  This would be the last private interaction he would have with Thrawn for the foreseeable future.  Once they stepped out of this room. They wouldn’t be Mitth’raw’nuruodo and Eli Vanto anymore, they’d go back to being Grand Admiral Thrawn and Commander Vanto.  This was his last chance to say anything he’d been keeping close to his chest.

He looked up at Thrawn’s face, mapping out his features in his mind, doing everything in his power to immortalize them in his memory.  Resting on the tip of his tongue, a confession he’d barely even admitted to himself. But it coiled itself tightly around his heart, halting him from speaking it.  So he swallowed the words, cleared his throat and smiled.

“Yes, that would be nice.”  Thrawn seemed to pause a moment, eyes lost in thought, but only that moment, before straightening out his posture and moving towards the door.

Eli furrowed his brows a the Chiss’ back.  The look was odd, and despite knowing Thrawn better than anyone else in the Empire, he couldn’t decipher everything.  And that look, he couldn’t find the intent behind it. Did he not actually wish to walk him to his shuttle? Or was he hoping to prolong their last moments together?  Either way, it was too late for them now, Eli had a schedule to keep, and this time was just for final goodbyes.

Nonetheless, he still felt the urge to reach out.  Stop them from leaving. Hold on to the few short moments that was left.  Some irrational part of his mind felt like after leaving this room, he may never get to see Thrawn as Mitt’raw’nuruodo ever again.  But that was ridiculous, Thrawn said himself this wasn’t goodbye forever. He’d just have to swallow the bitter taste in his mouth and keep moving forward.

“Very well.”  Eli followed slowly, feeling regret already plaguing him.  But the door opened before him, and his chance was gone, his Mitt’raw’nuruodo was gone, for now.  The Thrawn he got to see in private was hidden away as they stepped out into the ship’s corridor. He hoped Thrawn was right, that this wouldn’t be goodbye forever.  Eli really hoped it wasn’t.

In the walk from Thrawn’s office to the hangar, he schooled himself back into Commander Vanto.  Smart and effective Commander of the Empire, prepared to leave on some routine mission. Only he wouldn’t return, and the only ones who know this fact was he, Thrawn, and Eli’s parents.  He felt slightly guilty, that Karyn Faro would be outside of the loop, she had grown on him significantly in their time together. But the least amount of people that knew the true nature of his soon disappearance the better chances of success.

Walking down the corridors, a half step behind Thrawn, he scoured each wall and doorway passed.  Nothing distinguished the interior of the Chimaera from any other Star Destroyer. But still, he felt like he would know this ship in a heartbeat even from the most mundane of walls.  This ship was like his Home. He’d lived here so long, felt safe within its walls, and powerful at the side of the Chiss that made this ship so effective. While his parent’s house back on Lysatra will always be his true home, the many ships Eli has spent his time with Thrawn on were the closest to a home he’d had in the Empire.

But the Chimaera always felt more personal than the ones that came before it.  The Bloodcrow Eli had held contempt for. The first assignment away from his intended career path, but he’d grown used to it in time.  Though Captain Rossi had made the whole experience like walking on eggshells every day.

The Thunderwasp was much more comfortable.  Commander Cheno, much unlike Rossi, had respected Thrawn and Eli, giving them freedoms to operate in the unconventional ways Thrawn did.  Believed in him so much he risked his career for him, if there were only more men like him in the Empire. Then the ship had been Thrawn’s and things finally started to feel secure.

But the Chimaera, right after Eli’s much anticipated promotion, and the most freedom Thrawn had to move most effectively.  He’d honestly say, he loved this ship. The ship, the crew, and of course Thrawn. It all seemed like the perfect concoction for the best Home that could be found from within the Empire.  He just hoped he’d get to see the interior of this ship again, at least once.

Passing through the doors into the hanger bay, his Lambda shuttle waiting alone just ahead of them, he felt the door shutting on this chapter of his life.  All the years of loyal service to the Empire-no, loyal service to Thrawn. The Empire had lost his loyalties, but he’d follow Thrawn into any battle.

But staring up at the ship, Thrawn standing stiffly at his side, he was ready to go.  There was more he could do for the galaxy, for his family and friends, but they couldn’t be done here.  A new adventure lay before him, and Thrawn’s remained here, one day their paths would converge again. He hoped they would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was a bit shorter than the last one, don't worry, most chapters are of the length if not longer than the first chapter, especially later chapters! I'm so happy to see the positive reception this has been receiving, I'm very happy to see it starting off so strong. Hope you enjoyed this memories chapter, and I'll see y'all Tuesday!  
> Come say hi on Tumblr!
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter One - Eli - Lothal

Beeps were his only warning moments before dropping from Hyperspace.  The sounds jostling Eli just in time to see the planet appear below him.  He had been dosing lightly in his chair, having spent far too much time staring down a datafile on Lothal that was open for public viewing.  Unfortunately, there wasn’t anything of use in the entire file. Really just a breakdown of geography, weather patterns, rotation and revolution cycles.  He was hoping some history or local legends, but none of that was offered in official formatting.

Shaking some of the sleep from his mind, he peered out the viewport getting his first look at Lothal.  A decently sized world lay below him with tanish brown terrain and plenty of blue seas spanning across the surface, as well as a high amount of in and out traffic.  Most of said traffic seeming to be local traders and supply shipments going around. What shocked Eli however, was the fact that there was no evidence of there ever being any Imperial presence here.

Which was going to be the problem.  Without any trace of them, there was even less of a trail for Eli to follow.  If the Ascendancy had brought this to his attention five years ago, he probably would have been able to find Thrawn, bring him back and move on in about a week.  But now, this search and rescue would be immensely more difficult and time consuming. Not to mention awkward with the necessary word of mouth research he’d need to conduct.

Shaking the negative thoughts from his mind, Eli took back over the controls, steering the ship along with the in going traffic.  While the ships around the world were higher than most Outer Rim worlds, it was still far more sparse than core worlds like Coruscant.  And especially smaller when compared to Csilla and worlds within the Chiss Ascendancy.

_ “Incoming ship, please state your name, ship model, reason for your arrival and catalog any cargo you may have.” _  A voice came over the ship’s com.  Keeping the flight path steady, he keyed it on.

“Eli Vanto, Lambda Class Shuttle:  _ Blue Bird _ .  I’m just coming in for a day visit of Lothal.  I’m transporting no cargo.” There was a short pause on the other end.  Something about it giving Eli an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

_ “Are you Imperial?” _  And there it was.  Eli flinched, mentally kicking himself for overlooking his shuttle.  When he left for the Unknown Regions, he left in an Imperial shuttle, so of course it would draw a lot of unwanted attention to return to a post Imperial galaxy.  He had wanted to not draw attention, hence why he even chose to not take a Chiss ship, but it might have actually been more in his favor with all the anti-Imperial sentiments most likely felt by members of this New Republic.

“No, no.  I’m not Imperial.”  He hurried to clear up, hoping that his accent helped his case a bit more.  “This shuttle I’ve re-purposed as a personal travel ship! No need to let a good ship rust, ya know.”  He chuckled, and breathed a mental sigh of relief when the man over the com joined him.

_ “Good point.  Though I suggest you look into changing the appearance more, might face some upset citizens over a misunderstanding.  You can land at public pad D5.” _  A string of coordinates was transmitted to his ship for the landing pad.

“Thank you, I’ll look into that.”  The conversation cut out and Eli relaxed.  He might actually look into getting the thing painted at least, because that question will get old quick.  And eventually, his excuses won’t pass with someone along his way. Though, technically since he ‘went missing’ instead of resigning, or official defecting, he’s probably still on a list of Imperial Officers somewhere.  He just hoped no one bothered to look him up. A false name may be in order in the future.

Breaching the atmosphere, Eli followed the coordinates to a decently sized ship docking pad D5.  Lothal was a very nice planet, he noted, the main city large and beautiful, and seemed to be flourishing well.  He wondered if it was always like this, or this was a surge that came about with the ending of the Empire. Either way, it thrived now, and recalling what happened on Batonn all those years ago, Lothal might not have fared too well under any control by Pryce, regardless of Thrawn’s involvement, though, he most likely was not helping the planet any.

Choosing a nice spot to land, a bit farther from the other ships there unloading passengers and cargo, he set down his shuttle, trying to seem as casual as possible.  A Lambda was a pretty well known ship, no doubt people would take note of it. Powering down his ship, Eli pushed past these thoughts, instead turning his mind on to where the best source of information could be found.  Straightening out his clothes, double checking his belt and blaster holster strapped to his thigh, he made for the exit.

The ship doc bustled with cargo, passengers and locals, rushing back and forth, from ship to ship.  Carrying crates, supply exchanges, price negotiations, exchanging of passengers, and talks of refueling filled the space all around the landing pad.  The planet really was thriving, it looked as busy as any core world, a true diamond in the rough of the outer rim. He closed his ship up behind him, not trusting any possible snooping eyes to catch onto his true purpose here.  Now he only needed a direction, a market street might be the best.

A Rodian walked past him, carting a crate in his arms, seemingly headed over to a ship parked not too far away from Eli.  Fixing the alien with a warm smile, he walked up beside him, trying to grab his attention.

“Hello there, mind helping an offworlder?”  He asked, making direct eye contact with the starry orbs of the alien’s eyes.  He gave Eli a look, then glanced back over his shoulder before returning his gaze.  Thankfully he didn’t seem suspicious of him.

“As long as it does not take much time, I would be happy to.”  He responded, hefting the crate higher into his arms. It must be heavy.

“I’m here to meet a friend of mine and they told me to meet them in the market, but neglected to mention where that was.”  He laughed, promoting the Rodian to chuckle with him, if awkwardly. “Could you just point me in the right direction, friend?”  He finally smiled back, or at least as much as a Rodian can, and used one arm to gesture down a street.

“Of course, just head down there take your fifth right and you should start seeing stalls on your left.”

“Thank you very much, have a nice day!”  And with that, Eli went on his way, giving the man a smile, trying not to wince when seeing how he glanced back at Eli’s ship again.  That really was a bad idea. But now he had a heading. He pulled out his data pad, set it to record and pulled up a blank page for notes, he was after information, and the quicker the better.  Else he invite more suspicious attention.

The market street was very crowded and very colorful.  Exotic and local stalls alike selling different swaths of merchandise.  A mix of colors, reds, yellows, oranges, all together to show off the different brands and companies peddling their wares.  Fruits, tools, machines, crops, clothing, crafts and arts. It was almost too hard to maneuver around, and zeroing in on any singular conversation would be impossible.  He kept his datapad recording, he could just sift through the audio file later, but the event in question was too far in the past for Eli to get lucky enough and stumble upon someone speaking about it anyway.  He would need to start asking.

The least occupied stall he could find was his first stop.  The woman, boredly running the stand perked up immediately at Eli’s presence.  She wore a tall white cone like hat on her head, like many others Eli had been observing, and her skin tone on the darker side as well, a bit lighter than Eli’s own, she must have been native to Lothal.  She smiled at him, and waved an arm across her fruits. At least she was friendly.

“Welcome good sir, may I interest you in some fresh juicy fruits?  I have Jogan, freshly picked and washed this morning!” She exclaimed, straightening her back out, picking up a Jogan holding it out for him.  He had some Imperial Credits on hand from before he left, but there was no way to know if they were still valid currency or not, and it was safer not to expose his lack of knowledge.

“Thank you but no, I’m sorry.  I’m actually a traveler, looking into the history of world's before the fall of the Empire.  Seeing that planets will be changing immensely, I’ve chosen to get the voice of the citizen on Imperial Occupation to see how drastically the New Republic improves each world.”  He gave her a smile, and silently thanked every Chiss he’d ever met for indirectly teaching him how to hide his emotions and appear more confident than he maybe felt. He never thought he could feel like a fish out of water back with Humans on his side of the galaxy.

The woman’s face dropped slightly, Eli fought back a wince, keeping his face blank aside from his smile.  She slowly put the fruit back down. Had he bought one, he knew, he’d have a better chance of convincing her to talk to him.  But he couldn’t make her suspicious of him.

“Very sorry ma’am, would you be willing to inform me?”  She looked around Eli, at the other inhabited stalls and shrugged.

“Sure, I suppose.  Though you must not know much about Lothal at all do you?”  Eli couldn’t help his eyebrows scrunching together in confusion.

“What makes you say that?”  Something in the back of his head started urging him to pull back, the likelihood of her suspicion rising seemed to grow each second.

“Well the Empire hasn’t been on Lothal for nearly six galactic years.  Not after our Lothal Protectors liberated us.” Lothal Protectors? That surly wasn’t mentioned anywhere in the file he’d read on the planet.  Though the file he got his hands on was less about history and more about geography, especially before Imperial take over.

“Lothal Protectors?”

“Yes!  The Rebels who came and forced the Empire out, how have you never heard?!”

“I only just arrived today.”  It wasn’t the best excuse to give the woman, surly whatever these protectors did it would have spread to neighboring planets in the Outer Rim.

“You must have been living under a rock then, just about everyone in the Outer Rim has heard of our Lothal protectors.  The Empire had a firm grip on our entire planet, they were killing Lothal. Stealing resources, stripping the lands and polluting the air.  It was awful, they enforced curfews, searched homes, the whole city felt like a prison.” Delayed, Eli casually set his data pad down, closer to her in order to pick up the recording better.

“How did they manage to kick out the Empire if it had such a hold on the planet?”

“A miracle of the Force!”  Eli raised a skeptical brow.  “Don’t look at me like that, it’s true!  They had so very few of them, and they forced the Empire off in their dome.  Flew it right into the sky and exploded it over the sea!” Eli felt his heart nearly stop, a spike of fear rushing down his spine like a bucket of ice water dumped over his head.  The dome...exploded? As in all the Imperials inside went along with it, dead not escaped. But did that mean Thrawn perished along with them?

“What of the Star Destroyers?  Wouldn’t they still have plenty of forces to hold the planet?”

“That is where the miracle comes from.  The sky was littered with those awful ships you know.  Couldn’t ever see the sky without one of them ruining the view.”  She let out a huff, pushing some blonde hair from her forehead. A man wandered up to the stall then, eyeing the woman’s fruits and she perked up again.

“Sorry, business comes first, someone else can tell you the rest, we all know the story.  Goodbye!” She turned away from him, engaging the man in conversation, Eli fought back a groan.  If the Star Destroyers were still in the sky, then that is where Thrawn would be, not in the dome before it blew.  Which was something, definitely more than he knew before. Reluctantly, Eli moved away from the stall after a few more buyers appeared, being sure to grab his datapad.

That by itself was impressive however, a group of rebels managing to take out the entire Imperial ground forces all at once by destroying the dome.  If Eli wasn’t the one out searching for one of those Imperials, he would have congratulated them, if he finds Thrawn alive he might still.

But this miracle of the Force, he had no idea what that could possibly be.  He needed another stall. He kept an eye out for more of those hats like the one that woman wore, they had to be some sort of cultural fashion.  Thinking back to the landscape he passed over, they sort of resembled the mountains that covered the planet.

He moved onto the next stall he could worm his way up to, giving the same speech he gave the woman, but the man turned him down, refusing to help a non paying customer.  The next two had much the same result. He wasn’t going to get through to anyone unless they were unoccupied or he had the money to pay. Slipping out to the corner of the intersection of two streets, he caught his breath, choosing this vantage point to observe.

It must be the highest business time for the market, it was close to mid day, so time was not on Eli’s side.  Submitting himself to having to wait out the rush, he made himself comfortable against the wall, checked his recording, and people watched.

No one that passed him gave him more than a quick look.  Seemingly he blended in well enough to not bring about much attention by just standing here.  However, he also didn’t see anything of any note as he stood. Obviously, like he thought before, no one would just be openly talking about something that happened six years ago.

But it was interesting to watch the people go about their day.  Perusing the stalls, trading buying, selling. While he didn’t know what the planet was like before being liberated, from the sounds of it, it couldn’t have been good.  Knowing that, seeing how happy and lively the people on the streets were, it was enjoyable. People who would get to go one without the tyranny of the Empire hanging over them any longer.

Along with the people, many times small feline creatures would scurry past his feet.  Running up and down the streets, jumping onto stalls and crates, meowing at each other and people they ran passed.  Lothcats, they were called, one of the natural animals of the planet, and a popular one at that. Eli could see why too.  They were very cute, and all the locals in the market treated the animals like one would a pet, despite seeming to be strays.  It all made his wait more bearable.

Unfortunately, it took about an hour and a half for the crowd to thin, and by that point, Eli was sure people had taken note of his lurking here.  So much for being subtle. Limiting his stay here as much as he could is his best bet now. The first freed up stall he spied, he went for. The older man restocking some of his crops on the shelf when Eli sidled up aside the stall.

“Hello, have a moment?”  He asked, setting down his data pad, giving a warm smile.  The white haired man scratched the back of his neck, looking around Eli as he did.

“I suppose I do.”  He mumbled, leaning over the stall casually.  “What can I do for ya?” Eli quickly rattled off the same excuse he’d given to the other stalls.

“So I just don’t know what happened to the Naval force over Lothal, how did these Lothal Protectors remove them?”  The man appeared amused, even chuckling lightly.

“Can’t honestly believe you’ve never heard the story.  Where you from?” Eli fought the urge to rub his hands or arms, his nervous tick he became very aware of out in Chiss space.

“Saleucami, worked on my parents farm my whole life, never really left the planet ‘till now.”  The man seemed to buy the excuse, but still gave Eli an uncertain look.

“Pretty bold to go from such a sheltered life to explorin’ on your own so sudden.”

“It’s what works for me.”  A beat passed, and Eli worried maybe this man was too suspicious for his own good, but he just sighed and shook his head.

“Fair enough.  Well seein’ as though I don’t have any customers, I can play story teller for a bit.”

“Thank you very much.”  He smiled, half the emotion behind it being relief at how the man seemed to take his lie at face value.

“Yeah.  Well, you’re gonna have to believe me on this, because it’s such an outstanding miracle, the Force was truly looking out for us on that day.  I swear it.” That was the second time it was referred to as a Force miracle. Eli wrote that down in his notes. “The sky was almost always filled with those damn Star Destroyers, couldn’t not see one over the city.  But, just before the dome launched, a swarm of Purgill came from practically nowhere!”

“Purgill?  The deep space creatures?”  Eli couldn’t hide his shock no matter how hard he might have tried.  Purgill were something he only ever heard other people talk about. His parents having run a shipping business, he heard plenty of tales of long supply runs and the strange things that accompanied them.

“That’s right, I told you, you’re gonna have to believe me.  But when I say swarm, I mean it, more than I’d ever seen in one place, in all sorts of sizes, those suckers can get a  _ lot _ bigger than I thought.  But they tore through the Empire's precious fleet.  Just destroying anything they touched, I couldn’t say how many ships they destroyed, it was mesmerizing.”

“The Purgill, destroyed the entire fleet…?”  Every ship, even the Chimaera? His old home, with his old friends, like Faro, and of course Thrawn.  No, his trip was not going to be cut short, he wasn’t going to head back after just a few days to the waiting Aristocra, and their no doubt smug attitudes.  No, Thrawn was alive, he just had to be. He had to be.

“Most of it at least.  Some of the bigger Purgill grabbed onto a ship or two, just wrapped ‘em up tight and took off.”  What? Purgill, deep space animals decided to just take Star Destroyers from this world and leave with them?  That didn’t make any sense, and he watched a blue man walk out of legends and revolutionize how the Empire operated in a few short years.

“Took off with the entire ship…?  How do you mean, I don’t-”

“Like I said, it’s an outstanding miracle of the Force, it’s truly what happened.  The Purgill grabbed that lousy command ship too, I wish that one at least had been destroyed, would have liked to see that one crash to the ground.”  He mumbled that last bit, scratching at his hairline.

“The command ship, how did you know that is was the command ship?”  He needed to be sure, if the Chimaera is the same command ship this man was talking about.  If there was a Force, it’d toss him a bone on this one.

“It had some swanky design on the bottom, serpents or somethin’, it was the one that always seemed to lead the pack, I dunno.”  Eli fought hard not to physically relax, but Stars did he want to let out a sigh. Having tensed up slowly over the conversation, and now, Thrawn at least hadn’t been destroyed over Lothal, and it was something.

“So, the ships were taken away by the Purgill, so that means the people on board survived?!”  The man looked at him strangely. But Eli couldn’t bring himself to care, any hope, no matter how small, meant Thrawn could be out there, and he could be found.

“Maybe, I suppose, but that’s not a good thing, I’d rather those Imperials never came back, that’s why we had the Lothal Protectors.  They stuck around in case they did.”

“Who are these Lothal Protectors?”  Everyone kept mentioning them, but no one had yet to explain to him who they were.  And Eli was getting very curious at this point.

“This group of rebels that have been here before the Empire started to really crack down on our world.  They were around for a bit, but some went and joined the bigger Rebellion, two stayed, and helped take care of us.”

“Where can I find these two, who are they?”  If there were people on world that he could find and speak with, the information would be not only more accurate but more useful as well.

“Why is it you need to know?”  Eli mentally cursed, trying to pull back on his interest.  He was making the man suspicious, and angering the locals who were very anti-Imperial would not end well when he was the one flying around in an old Imperial shuttle

“Well, getting this information directly from the source would be best for my research, as well, I’d love to meet local Rebel heroes.”  The man gave him another look, seeming to look through Eli’s facade.

“Hey!  Is that the one with the Imperial shuttle?!”  A cry from behind him drew Eli’s attention, a group of three people were stalking towards them, and looking back, it seemed the man was done with Eli as well, fixing him with a glare.  Nervously smiling at him, Eli shrugged.

“Um, thanks for all your help, have a nice day!”  He turned and walked swiftly away, ignoring all four of them calling after him.  He rounded the corner, then slipped into an ally way before ducking behind some empty crates.  He heard their shouts get louder then slowly softer and softer. He waited until he couldn’t hear them any longer to let himself relax.

He should have known better than to bring an Imperial shuttle in a post Imperial galaxy.  Either way, he had some information. Glancing down at his data pad, he switched off the recording and looked back at his almost blank notes page.  It probably wasn’t enough to begin launching a search after a Star Destroyer that was pulled through hyperspace by giant Purgill. He still couldn’t believe that was true, it was far too ridiculous.  Eli had heard of the Force, most people had, but he’d never seen a Jedi before, only listened to stories of them from war torn worlds. Nothing that ever hinted that the Force could control large deep space creature to do complex tasks.

What was he going to do now?  Likely word would spread about him and his ship, and people would either be unwilling to give him any information, or be downright hostile towards him.  And he should expect much the same treatment elsewhere within the limits of this region of space. He was too far in to bother returning and getting a less conspicuous ship, and didn’t have the funds to purchase another one.  Maybe peeling off to another planet, he could get some modifications done to make it less Imperial.

Waiting another full minute, he ducked back out of the ally, and down a separate street, trying to remember the lay out of the streets he’d taken to reroute back to the landing platform.  If he could just keep his head low, and not draw any attention, maybe he could slip away. Maybe there were more solid archives closer to the core worlds he could access, or recordings of the incident.  It was better than sitting here waiting for someone bold enough to confront him.

“Hey!  Stop there Imperial!”

Never mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back post-celebration with what is technically chapter one! I'm really happy to see the support of this starting off strong, and I'm excited that you're all excited! Just real quick to clear up some stuff, we wont only be seeing Eli's point of view, we'll be jumping all around with each chapter, but since this is the beginning we're focused on Eli to start. But very soon, we'll be introduced to more characters. Thank you all for reading and enjoying, feel free to leave a comment, I cherish every one!
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis Bane](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	4. Chapter Two - Sabine - Count On Me

How many times had Ezra stood where she stands now, looking out from the closest thing he had to a home, onto the city that slowly became less and less his?  Sabine Wren, slouched over the railing of Ezra’s tower, watching the city and the bustling thriving nature of its people, and felt sad. Sad knowing that Ezra never got a chance to see this, that he had to leave before his biggest dream had come to fruition.  However, there was also hope, that through his and their own actions, they saved this world, freed it and let it bloom. Against all odds, they were the ones to push out the Empire. And the ones who had kept it.

Despite the utter humiliating defeat the Empire had faced here, they never came to reclaim the planet.  As soon as the Rebellion actually openly fought back, that was the biggest threat, and worlds like Lothal, were forgotten.  They would have come back, Sabine knows, if the Rebellion had failed, but with Hera and Rex on their side, she knew they would win.  But the Empire was gone now, destroyed and wiped from the Galaxy, victory from the Battle of Endor, to the Battle of Jakku officially decreeing the fall of the Empire, and the rise of the New Republic.  Now the Empire could never come back.

The hope of the future to come, and the sadness that Ezra was not with them to see it.  But she’d make him see it, bring him back or die trying. He’s out there, she knows he is.  She may not have the most comprehensive grasp on the Force or understanding of it, but she is certain that if he were dead, she would know it.  They were family, may not have the same blood, but in their hearts, he’s her brother, and she, his sister.

Three ships passed overhead, drawing her from her contemplative thoughts, forcing her gaze upwards at them.  It was Ahsoka, her ship being brought in by an escort. She was ready now, it was time to bring Ezra home. It did not take long for her to descend the tower, hop back onto her speeder bike and head off for the city, the adrenaline of this day finally coming may have helped her to move faster.

Wind rushing past her face, just barely moving her short hair with it.  But the warmer air of the summer making the wind feel comforting against her skin, and she smiled, softly, content comforting her heart.  Traversing the healthy landscape along the way helped lift her spirits more. If only her own world could come back like Lothal had, but it was too late for that, not for Lothal.

Behind her, the beating of paws approached her heels.  The Lothwolves. Their presence, much like Sabine’s own, seemed to just be to watch over Lothal, in case the Empire ever came back.  Over the years, their sightings have gone further down, soon it may be impossible to see one unless the planet was again in peril. But, them being here was a comforting thought, when the near gallop of paws died down, she tried not to miss it.  They never came close to the city, always kept their distance.

Slowing down as she came to the edge of the city, she furrowed her brows.  A small crowd of people stood there, as if waiting for her, looking a mix between concerned and angry.  Coming up next to them, slowing to a stop, she walked to them, letting them speak up first.

“Sabine, there’s a problem!”  One woman called, looking further on the angry side.

“The Empire is back!”  An older man cried, holding his hat tightly in his hands.

“What?!  What do you mean back?”  She glanced up, scouring the sky for any sign of Star Destroyers or an invasion fleet.  The only thing above were the soothing clouds and bright blue sky.

“Some off worlder came earlier today in an Empire ship.”

“One of the smaller ones, like the old Grand Admiral and Governor would travel in.”

“He was stalking around the market too, prowling and watching us!”

“And asking all sorts of questions, a lot about the Imperials that used to be here.”

“He’s making a lot of people nervous!”

So many voices chiming in and adding on, Sabine was lucky enough to catch it all.  Though she had plenty of practice taking in shouts of crowds and differentiating each one.  The job of Lothal Protector came with a lot of problem solving.

“Hold on hold on!  He was allowed to land in an Imperial ship? Who let him?”  She called, shushing them all at once. At least her voice still carried authority.

“We talked to the control tower, they said he was repurposing it or something like that.”

“Gave some good sap story of the like, I don’t buy it.”

“What was his name?  He had to give one, was it fake?”  She crossed her arms as she spoke, looking across the many faces.

“He did, Eli Vanto!  We asked control to check the database of Imperials and sure enough his name was there!  Listed as Missing In Action though, but an Imperial alright!” Sabine scowled, clutching her hands into fists.  Of course just before she was meant to leave someone had to come here ready to stir up trouble.

“Alright, I’ll check it out, where was he last seen?”

“Near the market!  We just sent a group of people to question him!”

“Thanks!”  She swung her leg back over her bike, revving it to life as she slipped on her helmet.  “I’ll get to the bottom of this.” The group moved out of her was as she sped down the street, a short chorus of ‘thank you Sabine’ accompanying her.

An Imperial here, at the end of the war, after the treaty?  Why, and just one, what could their goal possibly be? What could he hope to accomplish here?  To scout the area, or find Imperial sympathizers maybe. He’s sure to get a rude awakening when he realizes there will be none here.

Nearing the market, Sabine parked her speeder against the wall, continuing on foot, hoping to blend in enough to spot him on her own.  No need to alert him to her presence and give him the chance to run. Thankfully, he market wasn’t very crowded, most people having moved on with their day, or maybe this Imperial made them nervous enough to cut their shopping short.  For the moment, all seemed normal, quiet.

As if to call her unintentional bluff, a small group rounded the corner, looking on the verge of a mob.  Who ever was on the end of their rage would be in for it. And Sabine was certain this was the group sent to ‘question’ the Imperial.  Meaning he gave them the slip. Also meaning, if he came this way, Sabine would have seen him pass, either he’s blended in well with the locals, very unlikely, so he’s hidden, and if she stays put, she can wait him out.

The group passed, she gave them a nod, thankfully being enough to let them know she was searching too, and they continued onward without a word.  She sidled up against the wall as casually as she could, taking inventory of the current people left in the street, and waited. It took barely two minutes for her patience to pay off.  A man who did not look at all familiar to her emerged from a small alleyway between two businesses, scanning up and down the street, quite suspiciously.

He didn’t look like a typical Imperial, hair a bit unkempt in older looking civilian clothes.  But his skin tone a warm brown, and he was definitely shorter than any Imperial she had met as of yet.  But he was the one, she knew it. It was rare to get completely new visitors to Lothal, and judging by his body language, he was trying not to get spotted.  After deeming the coast clear, he stepped out of the ally and turning the opposite way from her, down another street. Sabine smirked under her helmet and followed him, leaving a large enough following distance not to get noticed.

He clearly didn’t want to be recognized as an Imperial, that much was obvious.  That didn’t explain, however, why he would draw attention to himself by asking about the previous Imperial presence here.  He didn’t look armed too heavily, a simple blaster at his hip, nothing unheard of. The blaster however, was unfamiliar to her, unlike anything she’d ever seen, and she’s seen many blasters in her life.  It wasn’t Imperial make that much was certain.

She followed him down the street, letting him think he was clear, while shortening the distance every couple of steps.  Nearly to the next intersection, she pulled out one of her blasters, raising it at the back of his head. A few more steps and she called.

“Hey!  Stop there Imperial!”  He froze at her words, not flinching, but pausing all forward movement.  He glanced over his shoulder only to get a face full of blaster. That got him raising his hands.  However, he didn’t seem scared, only mildly put off, not even too surprised by her appearance.

“H-Hey wait!  I can explain, I’m not Imperial!”  Despite the hesitation at the start, his voice had an air of confidence in it that honestly shocked Sabine.  He knew how to hold himself, she could tell, better not underestimate him. She also noticed he had an accent that was definitely not Imperial.  She’s heard it before, however. Wild Space maybe? That would explain the odd blaster, could be something made out in that part of the galaxy. But just because he didn’t seem Imperial didn’t mean he wasn’t just a good undercover agent.

“Yeah right!”  She laughed. “You just showed up in an Imperial ship, with the same name as an Imperial to a previously occupied world?  I’m so sorry for the misunderstanding.” He didn’t seem amused by her sarcasm. Too bad.

“Like I said, I can explain.  I’m ex-Imperial, defected years ago, about seven!”

“Well, on your file it says MIA, not defector, or deserter.”  His shoulders sagged, and he made a quick scan of their surroundings, he was planning.  She knew the look of someone plotting.

“Look, just, lower your weapon, and I can explain a bit more.”  She pulled out her second blaster, leveling it between his eyes. 

“How about you talk before I shoot.”  He grimaced at her weapons, letting out another sigh.

“I staged my disappearance!  I was sent on a secret mission without the Empire’s knowledge, so the best option was to have me go missing rather than put my face on an Empire’s wanted list.”

“It’s not so bad, you get used to it.”  He looked on the verge of rolling his eyes, if only he’d give her a reason to shoot and be done with this.  “Who sent you then?” He didn’t answer her, didn’t even open his mouth. She stepped closer. “Talk.”

“You wouldn’t like the answer.”

“I dislike you refusing more.”  He glanced down at her weapons, then back at the visor of her helmet.

“Mitt’raw’nuruodo.”  Sabine grimaced under her helmet, hearing the glob of a name come out nearly fluidly from his mouth.  It was unlike anything she’d heard before, even from other Wild Space Humans.

“Mitt’r-who?”  She wasn’t even going to bother and humiliate herself by butchering the name.

“He is who sent me on that mission.”

“And what mission is that?”

“I said it was secret, which means it’s a secret to everybody, I can’t tell you!”

“If you value your life you’ll tell me.”  He held his chin higher, staring down her blaster and lowering his arms.

“I came to terms that I may die with this information long ago.  Kill me if you feel the need, but you’re only costing yourself other information.”

“Which is?”

“You would kill an intruder to your world, and be able to go on not knowing what he’s doing there, or has already done?”  It was a bluff, it had to be, what could he have done without anyone noticing. But he spoke so confidently, she almost had to believe him.  Begrudgingly she lowered one blaster and holstered it.

“Alright then, talk.”

“Why would I give up the one thing guaranteeing my survival?”  Oh, she knew this game, and she hated it.

“What do you want in order to talk?”

“I want a trade, information for information.”

“What information do you want?”  The others said he was asking around about the old Imperial occupation, but it didn’t seem they knew why.  If he was truly ex-Imperial, what use would knowledge of something that hasn’t been around for six years be to him?

“I want to know what happened to Grand Admiral Thrawn.”  Her trigger finger flinched at the name, an involuntary response to being reminded of that vile man.  He noticed the movement, eyes glancing down the the weapon then back to her face, fixing her with a glare, but she had more than enough control not to fire.  Even if part of her wanted to.

“Why do you want to know about him?”  There was no way she’d be able to keep the sneer from her voice.

“We aren’t enemies here, there’s no need to have this conversation like this.  I’ve done nothing to wrong you, lower your blaster, and we can have a civilized conversation.”  He looked sincere, and, unfortunately, had a point. He was a listed Imperial, but if he was being honest about abandoning the Empire, then he was right.  So much of the Rebellion was made up of ex-Imperials, she’d grown used to their presence, and to trust them. She lowered her other blaster, but didn’t holster it.

“Fine, but you’re coming with me, we’ll speak on my terms.”  The man, Eli, she reminded herself, smiled.

“That’s fair.”  She gestured back the way they came, and he complied.

“Don’t make me regret it.”

“I’ll try not to.”

Sabine brought him down a few different streets, leading closer to more residential areas, before stopping in front of a small, rather unassuming house.  The inside looked abandon, but lightly lived in, like it was just a squatting place for someone in a hurry. But Eli knew to look beyond the surface, to zero in on the smallest of details.  There was dust on most of the perimeter of the first room, but a subtle pathway had been cut on the floor, leading to a suspiciously clean circular rug on the floor. A trap door. This was the front, that was the secret this room hid.  Now to see if Sabine thought it worth to bring him down there or pretend it’s still a secret. And Eli would have to decide whether or not to play along.

The door closed behind them, Sabine shouldering pass to grab a seat at the small table.  Eli followed suit, choosing for now to keep his discovery a secret, Thrawn taught him not to play all his cards at once, and thinking back on him made Eli’s heart ache for a moment, reminding him of the short time he may have.  On the outside he remained impassive, Sabine didn’t seem to find it off putting. Neither spoke at first, she just got comfortable, removing her helmet and resting it on the table.

“So, I take it you are one of these ‘Lothal Protectors’?”  Eli began, folding his hands in his lap.

“Hear that in the market, huh?  Yes, that’s what they call us, though we haven’t done much to earn that title since Liberation Day.”

“Liberation Day?”

“That’s what we call the day we drove the Empire from here, we throw a parade, lightens everyone’s spirits, they sometimes make a wooden statue of the old Governor, and Azadi gets to light it on fire.”  She chuckles, Eli smiled to hide his discomfort. Pryce was a pretty awful human being, cunning and strategic, vicious and cruel, but to symbolically burn her corpse once a year, he didn’t know what to feel about that.

“So she is dead then, Pryce I mean?  I met her back when I was part of the Imperial Navy, once or twice at least.”

“I sure hope so, it was one of my best explosions to date, and I know she was on it when it blew.”  Eli hummed, leaning back in his seat. “But that’s not what you’re here for, you’re here for Thrawn, I’ll tell you what I know, Hell, I’ll even show you.  But I need to know why before I do any of that.” She leaned forward, arms resting on her thighs.

Carefully, Eli picked his words, choosing what information was vital and which would be free to expose, but with the Ascendancy so tightly woven into this story, he found a lack of words.  Until one detail struck him, a truth by technicality and by law that betrayed nothing to the Ascendancy, and nothing to be of use to Sabine or anyone else who could hear of this conversation.

“I am his husband.”  Eli had to fight back a smile when Sabine physically recoiled in shock.  “Mitth’elivanto, bonded to Mitth’raw’nuruodo, I was sent away by him to his people in the Unknown Regions not long after he was promoted to Grand Admiral, where I’ve been waiting his return.  We’ve kept eyes on the Empire and its conflict with your Rebellion, and after the Empire’s fall and he failed to return or contact us, I was sent to find and retrieve him.”

“H-Husband?  He had a husband?  It’s...just like a status thing right?  I can’t imagine he was capable of any sort of emotion other than malice.”

“Malice?”  Eli felt his face drop, unable to bring himself to care for the compromising of his image.  “What do you mean? Sure he was a bit unorthodox and more numerical in his decisions, but compared to any other Imperial, he valued life over most else.  He always tried to spare as many lives as he could.”

“Well, the Thrawn I know is not the one you know.  He was a force of true evil-” Eli stood, feeling a wave of fear and rage course through his veins spurring on his movements.

“I know him, that was not his way!  Deaths that were necessary were the only ones he took, he went to the furthest lengths to come out with the smallest fatalities, on both sides.  Y-You were just on opposing sides, you met him as enemies, there’s no way he’s as ‘evil’ as you-”

“You call firing on innocent civilians going out of your way to spare life?!  Stealing art and culture from families?!” Sabine was standing now, getting right in his face.  “Torture?!” Eli’s jaw felt slack. Thrawn, that wasn’t how he knew him, in the fifteen years by his side, he took every measure to protect his people and the innocents that depended on him.  He was crushed after Batonn, wouldn’t show it, no, but he was, and the fact that Pryce would face no punishment, and he himself got congratulated for it, broke him somewhere deep inside. Eli could see it, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, Eli was the one who knew it.  He was sure the aftermath of Batonn was why he wanted Eli as far from the Empire as possible, he said he planned on asking him to go for a long time, but Batonn was the catalyst that finally forced the Chiss’ hand. Eli fell back into his chair, a hand rubbing at his forehead, feeling as though the actual wind had been stolen from his lungs.

“I-I don’t believe it…”  He whispered, seeing Sabine trying to regain her own composure.

“Well, it’s true.  He’s not who you know.”  She was calming down, but an edge to her voice remained.

“No.”  Taking a deep breath, Eli sat tall, squaring his shoulders and taking a few deep breaths to calm himself.  “I know Thrawn, maybe even better than he knew himself, there was a reason for those, I know it.” Sabine opened her mouth to rebuttal but Eli raised a hand, and she held her tongue.  “I won’t give up on him, regardless if I’m right or I’m wrong, I must believe in him. And either way, I still must find him. I told you my reason, give me what you promised.”

Sabine sighed angrily, sitting back down in her own chair, starting to bounce her leg.  Eli wished he could do the same, but the past seven years he trained himself to not rely on that nervous tick, no need to go back on that now.

“Fine.”  She pulled something from her belt, a small holodisk, putting it on the table between them.  “On Liberation Day...We couldn’t have done it without Ezra.” Instantly her voice softened, her eyes growing distant.  “We got all the grounded Imperials inside the dome, and were ready to launch it, but Thrawn returned, blocking us overhead.  And his assassin had snuck in as well, shut down the city’s shield. That’s when he opened fire on the citizens, and threatened to continue if Ezra didn’t surrender.”

“Who’s Ezra?”  He couldn’t get over the idea of Thrawn, his Thrawn, doing something so despicable, and against everything he preached to Eli for fifteen years.  Focusing on the smaller things kept his thoughts on track.

“Ezra Bridger, he wa-he is a Jedi.  This is his home, he was why we came back to free it from the Empire.”

“And what did Thrawn want with him?”

“To be honest, I’m not really sure.  Either he knew this was all Ezra’s plan, or because he was a Jedi, take your pick.  But he agreed to go, sacrificed himself for us and the people of Lothal. And after we got the shield back up, this happened.”  She reached forward, switching on the holodisk, its blue hues casting shadows across their faces.

“The Chimaera!”  Eli gasped as soon as the ship materialized before him, unable to hide his joy at seeing what used to be his home again, even in this form.  It hung low in the sky, other Star Destroyers scattered around it, the Seventh Fleet Thrawn had been awarded after Batonn. Then, nearly like a stampede, Purgill of all manner of sizes, barraged the ships, tearing them apart just with their heads, debris falling to the planet in fiery heaps.  He’d never seen anything like this, not even common animals collected in such unison, working in tandem for such a complex outcome.

Watching with bated breath, he saw one of the larger ones, and two more wrap themselves tightly around the Chimaera, around Thrawn’s own command ship in a tight, constricting hold.  And in an instant it was gone, whisked off, supposedly, into hyperspace. The recording lasted for a few more seconds before fizzling out, and Sabine’s hand came forward, sliding the disk off the table.

“And, he’s just gone.”  He whispered, loud enough for her to hear, not sure himself if it was intentional or not.

“Ezra sacrificed himself to save this entire planet.”  The spite for Eli was evident enough in her voice. “But he’s alive I know it, so…” she sighed, “Thrawn is most likely alive as well.”

“If they survived the jump.”

“Ezra is alive, I know it.  If he were dead, I would know it.”  Eli could relate to that sentiment. Something always nagged at his mind, something that told him, he’d know if Thrawn was no longer with them.

“I have to find him.”  Eli stood, a new wave of determination setting in his heart.  Sabine stood up with him.

“And what do you plan to do if you find them?”  She crossed her arms over her chest, fixing him with a suspicious look.

“Take Thrawn home, I have no intention of hurting your friend, Ezra, if that’s what you’re scared of.  I can bring him back here if I find them both even, if you agree to help me.”

“No need for that, I’m heading out today in search of him, I’m pretty sure I’ll find them before you do.”  It didn’t seem insulting, more like her own bolstering leaking into playful competitiveness. He thought she might be Mandalorian, though the armor gave it away.

“And if you find them first, what of Thrawn?”  She looked reluctant to answer, but still kept her chin high.

“Arrest him, kill him if he gives me reason.”  She eyed him, and Eli knew she was goading for a reaction.

“Then, I suppose that makes this a race.”

“Some race, you’re gonna get stopped everywhere you go with that Imperial shuttle of yours.  You really thought  _ that _ was a good idea?”  He rubbed the back of his neck, sighing.

“An overlook on my part, it was the only ship I had from this side of the galaxy, figured Chiss ships would be too foreign and draw more attention.  Probably would have been better in hindsight.”

“Chiss?”

“That’s what Thrawn’s people are called, the Chiss.  Don’t expect to see another one, I know the Empire and the Old Republic didn’t even have their name on file.”

“Ya know Eli, you seem like a decent enough guy.  I mean you did leave the Empire, that has to count for something.”

“To be honest, I had thought about doing it for a while before Thrawn broached the subject of sending me away.  Just, things kept getting worse and worse, too bad to overlook.” His eyes downcast before a memory pushed through his thoughts.  “The super weapon! Was Thrawn right, was there a super weapon? Before I left he had become obsessed with finding it, had me help follow the trails left in its wake.  He knew it would be massive, was he right? Did the Empire produce a super weapon?!” Sabine looked taken back by his sudden outburst, but didn’t say anything about it in particular.

“Super weapon?  Yeah...The Empire made one alright, two actually.”

“Two?!  What were they?!”

“They called them the Death Star, a space station the size of a small moon, but with the firepower to destroy an entire planet with one blast.”  Eli felt his heart nearly stop, his mouth going dry.

“An entire planet?  Please don’t tell me they got to use it.”  It was wishful thinking on his part, he knew if there was two the first had to of been relatively successful.

“One planet, Alderaan...It was just that one however, the Rebellion destroyed the Death Star before it ever got a second chance.  The Second Death Star was bigger, at least so I heard, I wasn’t on Endor, but Hera was. It wasn’t done, but it would been even worse, they got that one too.”  Eli let out a small sigh, trying not to let the guilt in the pit of his stomach get to him.

“Was Thrawn around when the first one was built?”  She furrowed her brows in confusion but answered him either way.

“Not really, he was around while it was being built-”

“We both were technically.”

“Yeah, but it didn’t first show up until about a year after Liberation Day.  Marked by the Battle of Yavin, where the Rebellion destroyed it, kinda started a whole new galactic calendar.”

“I imagine that would be an important balance shifter.  Thrawn would have done everything he could to stop that thing, told me as much, already talked of risking his entire career to stop it when he first started putting together what it could have been.”  He shook old thoughts that lingered in his mind, and held out his hand for Sabine to shake. “Thank you for your help, I truly appreciate it. Sorry for actin’ all suspicious and putting people on edge.”  He smiled at her, and she returned it, shaking his hand.

“Like I said Eli, you seem like a decent person, if you keep your promise about bringing Ezra back, I’ll promise to give you some more help.”

“What sort of help?”

“Well for starters, doing something about that Imperial eyesore of yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new challenger enters the battle! Sabine is pissed and ready to find Ezra! The plot thickens, which I guess is good cause that's the point of a fic. I'm loving all the love this had been getting, I hope I continue to deliver! Come say hi on Tumblr! <3
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	5. Chapter Three - Eli - Departure

Eli was a bit reluctant on having Sabine give the entire ship a paint job, though she was quicker than he thought she’d be.  Not to mention, the process was beyond intriguing to witness. The coats of paint, back and forth one color then the next, the act of making the artwork like a work of art on its own.  However, the end result only seem to make his ship stick out even more. The white outer casing of the shuttle was almost completely covered by bright swirling colors of oranges, blues, and purples.  A few lothcats were painted on the wings, a single lothwolf among them, a sharp toothed mouth painted on the cone of the cockpit. And some symbol he didn’t quite recognize, looking like a red bird maybe.  Thrawn would of had a field day with this. 

“What do you think?”  Sabine asked, dropping down next to him, and flashily spinning her spray paint in her hand.  Not at all trying to hide her pride at her own handiwork.

“Well, people won't be thinking Imperial upon first glance, but they’ll sure be able to tell I came from Lothal.”  He grimaced. Poor  _ Blue Bird _ .

“Well, that symbol right there,” she started pointing at the red bird, “is your get out of jail free card.  Anyone who knows it, will know you’re on my side. Ought to make your travels through the rest of our charted galaxy easier.”  That simple bird had that much power over people? Maybe Thrawn already did have a field day with her artwork.

“Thank you for that.  For everything, truly.  I wish there was something I could do to repay you.”  Because it was true, Sabine had no reason to provide him any aid, she had all the right to turn him away and go on her own alone to find her friend, and probably kill Thrawn in the process.

“We’re technically looking for the same people, you’re helping by joining my search.  If you get there before I do, just get Ezra back safe and I’ll consider any debt paid.”

“Why not just come with me then?  We’re heading along the same trajectory.”  While splitting their forces could allow them to cover more ground, if the holorecording was anything to go by, it wasn’t a matter of combing every inch of the galaxy, but more finding the end points along their route.  Having more people going the same direction would stop them from getting in each other's way and combine their thinking power.

“Not exactly.  Don’t worry, I have my own path to take, if our destination is the same, the way to get there will be different.  This way, we cover more ground.”

“Fair enough, I wish you luck and…”  He hesitated, but knew this had to be said.  “I strongly urge you, if you find them before I do, please give Thrawn the benefit of the doubt, he-”

“I won’t kill him on sight, I can promise that much, no more.”

“Okay okay, I’ll take what I can get.  Thank you.” Eli smiled, his shoulder relaxing with a quiet sigh.  That was a big weight off of his chest. He didn’t want Sabine and himself to be enemies, one more roadblock to their destination would add unneeded stress and headache to this trip that already had plenty.

“Good luck Eli Vanto, I’ll get your name taken off the list of registered Imperials, don’t make me regret it!”

“Good luck Sabine Wren, I’ll try not to!”  They shared a smile, a bowed head, and Eli marched back up his boarding ramp.  Sabine didn’t seem to want to stick around and watch him leave, which he guessed was a good sign that she trusted him somewhat.

As the door sealed behind him, Eli let out the biggest sigh he probably ever had before in his life, and didn’t didn’t even realize he was holding his breath.  Upholding his image, even as poorly as he did, with so many revelations on the truth, was difficult, to say the least. The unending worry as it became more and more apparent that the Thrawn he left won’t be the same as the Thrawn he finds.  That thought on its own was terrifying, and added stress was the last thing he needed.

But it was a true and unavoidable fact.  Thrawn seems to have changed, which is drastic seeing as though Eli was only gone for a year before Thrawn’s disappearance.  What could have changed in the span of a year to shift Thrawn’s moral code so completely? Or, was it that this Thrawn the rebels see, was who Thrawn had been the whole time, and their years together was all just a facade Thrawn put on?

No.  Eli knew Thrawn better than anyone, more than well enough to see is true colors even when he tried to hide them.  They stayed in the same quarters for nearly two years, Eli was almost always at Thrawn’s side, on duty and off. He saw Thrawn at his best, and at his worst, and nothing about all those times felt fake.  Absolutely nothing seemed to show that Thrawn was as evil as Sabine had described.

Yet still, he couldn’t deny evidence, and Sabine would have no reason to lie to him, especially since agreeing to help him.  Thrawn firing on civilians, it was too much to consider, that his Thrawn, who would risk so much to save innocents could do something so villainous.  There had to be a reason behind it, maybe someone else commanding the Chimaera at the time, or his hand forced, or maybe he knew what he was firing on wasn’t civilians by directing fire.  There was no way to know unless he asked the man himself, until then, he’d just have to put his faith in Thrawn. Over the past seven years without the Chiss, he never lost his loyalties for him.  Still, his rushing thoughts were starting to become more tiring than the task at hand.

Exhaustion was beginning to weigh on him now, but he had things yet still to do before he could rest.  Thrawn has been waiting for six years for Eli to find him, he couldn’t let the man wait longer than absolutely necessary.  Heading up to the cockpit, grabbing a container of water to sip on, he plopped back down in the pilot's chair, already feeling more at ease being back in his own space.  No matter how long he spent with Thrawn, in the Navy, and with the Chiss, it could never truly shake his more introverted anxious tendencies. He could put on a good show, but when it came down to it he really craved being back in his own secure space.

Shaking the relaxation from his body, sitting more rigid in his, he and began prepping his shuttle.  Sabine had given him a copy of the recording from Liberation Day, as well as her calculations and constituted map she had made based on the Chimaera’s trajectory and speed.  Fortunately, and unfortunately, the map was clear and concise, a straight line headed directly into Wild Space and beyond, but along the way were numerous systems, and while there would have been no collisions, that didn’t mean they weren’t dropped off on any of them along the way.  However unlikely that might be, he had to be thorough, and check every corner on his way back out of this known galaxy. Overlooking the smallest detail could lead to the downfall of this entire search and rescue mission.

He uploaded the map into his navicomputer, updating some of his more outdated information, and setting his computer to begin plotting a course to his first stop.  As the computer thought through that, Eli prepped for take off, double checking fuel, and all systems before taking off into the sky and making for space. There was a quick exchange with the command tower, informing them of his departure and subsequent open area on the landing pad before leaving him again in silence as he left the atmosphere.

Results from his computer’s course plotting came back not long after breaching through the atmosphere, and Eli looked over the numbers, as he moved to the optimal spot to jump.  This was something he definitely missed since leaving for the Unknown Regions, navicomputers and plotted jumps. More often than not out there, you couldn’t move around without the use of a sky-walker, which Eli had his aversions to already.  Being able to calculate and plot jumps just like that and relax through the journey was a breath of fresh air. The only threat to his jumps coming from deep space creatures, such as the Purgill, wandering into hyperspace lanes, but there wasn’t much to be done about that either way.

His first destination on his route was Dornea.  He’d never been there before, he doesn’t believe he’d been to any of these planets on this side of the galaxy before.  That only made this more of a learning experience. Perhaps the closer he got to Wild Space and to the edge of charted space, the more it might remind him of his old corner of the galaxy in Wild Space.  When this is all over, if he finds Thrawn or not, he’s stopping home to see his parents before going back to the Ascendency. Or maybe, he could consider retiring at the end of this, he’s surly put in more than enough effort for the Empire and the Chiss, maybe a break was in order.  But those thoughts were for a later time, he had to focus on the matters at hand first.

Plugging in the coordinates, he switched on his datapad, searching for any information to be found on the culture and history of Dornea.  Thrawn would’ve be proud, not that he wasn’t already proud of the strides and abilities Eli already had. But as his name filtered through Eli’s thoughts, he felt a melancholy twang in his heart, followed thereafter with sharp determination.

“I’m coming Thrawn, hold on.”  Thrawn was out there, and he was going to find him, or die trying.  He was really sounding like a Chiss now.

* * *

 

With Eli off on his way, Sabine had to make her own meeting, which she thankfully wasn’t late for.  Already, she knew, Ahsoka was on Lothal, though they hadn’t intended to meet until later, as she had her own business to deal with, and gave Sabine her time for goodbyes to Lothal.  Yet still, she is now edging dangerously close to running late. After Eli had turned away Sabine walked back to her bike parked nearby after having driven them both back on it, and it now, thankfully, close.

Roaring it to life, relishing the feeling of the ride beneath her fingers, she peeled off down the street of Lothal, her painted memorial to Ezra and the ghost crew her destination.  A few people waved at her as she sped by, herself returning as many as she could, unable to keep the warm feeling from rising as more people greeted her. Seeing how important she was to all of them, how much they truly appreciate her, made her feel good, but also made her reluctant to leave them.  There’s people respected and trusted her. After Liberation Day, all of them became as close to planetary heroes as possible. Due to work from them all, they made sure that Ezra was the most known of them all, the local boy who gave up everything for his people and stuck up for them when no one else would.  In his memory, that’s what had them remain to protect the planet from a possibly returning Empire.

Though now, they don’t really need her any more.  Hera, Rex, Zeb, they’ve all gone already, Hera and Rex to the Empire, Zeb having split his time between the two, but now even he has left for good with Kallus.  It was just her now, and still, she hasn’t been needed in a long time. But Ezra, he needed her, he was the one counting on her the most now. As much as she’ll miss all these citizens, she was needed elsewhere, and they knew how to take care of themselves.

Still, she took her time, watching the city streets as she passed by, smiling at all the people, the prosperity, the happiness.  It may have been Ezra’s push and his sacrifice that made it all possible, it was Sabine and the rest that finished what he started, and got to see the fruits of their labor.  Watching overtime how the city grew and thrived without the plague on it that the Empire was, made every hardship worth it. Nurturing the planet and reviving it from the brink of death, she’d trade that feeling for no other.

Once out of the city she neared the space carved out of the mountain and was relieved to not see Ahsoka there waiting on her.  Arriving late to a departure would not be starting their journey off on the right foot. Coming to a stop before the opening, she shut off her speeder and leaving her bags with her bike, she came to the opening of the cavern.  The was their meeting area, but Sabine had chosen it so she could see the mural one last time before they left Lothal, a reminder of their goals and a re-invigoration to her determination.

This place acted as both a memorial and a reminder to the people, a space free to anyone to come and see he tribute to the Ghost crew.  In the first few years after Liberation Day, many people were here, coming to see the mural, and offer their quiet thanks for everything they had done for the planet.  But as the years went by, and the threat of the Empire returning seemed farther and farther from people’s minds, the civilian traction here died down. The occasional straggler would run into Sabine when she’d come on her own, the lonely feelings having gotten too strong for her to ignore.  After the battle of Endor, there was an influx of more visitors, but more often than not, this place was vacant. Just as it is now.

Alone now in this room, her heart ached seeing faces she painted herself stare back at her.  Some she’d never see again. Hera hasn’t changed much the past few years, neither had Zeb, the only change she had seen was their more content appearances, with the Empire gone.  But Kanan, she’d never again get to see his face, she’d come to terms with that a long while ago, but the pain was still there. The day they lost him still haunted her on late nights.  Then there was Ezra, he’s sure to of changed in the past six years, through age or environment due to having to survive where ever he is now for this long. The youthful face she knew, the kid she’d met that had tried stealing from them, that grew to become as close a brother as her actual brother, that face she’d never see again, and she missed it.  She missed him so much.

Taking a few strides further into the cavern, her boot steps against the metal floor echoing around her, she made for the slab.  This domed room completely empty but for this one mural, and standing before it, Ezra looking back at her, determination permanently plastered on his face.  He may have just been a child, just turned young man, he had matured quickly, their situation demanding that from all of them. But, he never lost his youthful spirit, maturity not able to damper his young heart and humor.  All of that added to his special charm that was rare to find in anyone but him. Unable to help herself, she reached up, tapping his cheek lightly, wanting to remember this face, because by the end of this journey, she’d either have a new face or this would be all she’d have left.  Regardless, she was coming for him. She wanted her family back.

She had worked hard to restore her own family on Mandalore.  Which itself took some time even after all the fighting had ended, the emotional strain that was needed to overcome taking the most time of anything.  But her other family, of the Ghost crew, she still had to fight to bring that family back together. She’d fight through anyone and anything to bring Ezra back.  Nothing but death itself could stop her now.

Behind her, noises jostled her from her thoughts, and turning around, there Ahsoka was, standing there looking prepared.  Clothed in a white robe, her ship resting behind her like a backdrop. With her staff held at her side, she tapped it just once, signalling their time to go had come.  She looked like something out of a fairy tale or a legend from an ancient people. Almost like a mix of a goddess and an old wizard, full of wisdom that people could only hope to possess.  Her guide, her ally, her friend. Sabine locked her face into a determined gaze and slid on her helmet and walked to meet Ahsoka, chin held high.

Their time had finally come.  Six years of waiting, six years of missing, six years of hoping, and they were finally here.  Her brother was out there, waiting patiently for her to find him. And she will find him, one way or another.

_ “We’re coming Ezra,” _ she thought to herself, a fire igniting in her chest,  _ “hold on.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is a little late, some people gratified some awful stuff on my campus so we went around erasing it. Also sorry this chapter is a bit on the short side, hopefully it's still a good chapter! Thank you all for the love and support! <3  
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	6. Memories - Thrawn - The Beginning

He couldn’t breath.  Couldn’t move, could only gaze on in poorly obscured horror as everything fell away.  All his work, all his plans, everything, in a single instant, gone. The crushing grip of these beast’s tentacles, constricted even further, having him clench his jaw to keep any cries of pain trapped within him.  Bones were broken, he was sure, could feel them grinding, painfully, tearing away at the surrounding tissue. A pain unlike any other, that only got worse and worse and worse-

The moment the skyline before his eyes stretched on into hyperspace, he was released.  Limply, ungracefully, he crumpled to the floor, desperately trying to take a breath, only to find the breath again stolen from him, right from his own mouth.  The bridge was breached in the attack, exposed to the vacuum of space the moment they jumped, the decompression should kill them all in an instant. But it didn’t.  Just as quickly as it was gone, the air was back, and his lungs expanded, pushing on his broken ribs, making the breath stuttered. Coughs wracked his body, each one pushing on his already battered body.  Bones grind together and pressed into his innards painfully, a flame of agony burning his chest with each hack. By the time they finally subsided, there was blood dripping from his lower lip.

Fighting against the pain, he gazed up, trying to decipher why in fact he wasn’t dead.  The shattered windows of the bridge were completely blocked off, in a perfect seal by the creature’s tentacles.  It should be impossible, there was no way these animals could know to do this and do it so perfectly, but a few more shallow breaths confirmed that it was.  Now, with his own painful wraspings having subsided, he could hear the heavy breaths of his unfortunate companion behind him.

Agonizingly, using just his arms, Thrawn turned his body around, enough to turn back at the young Jedi, and Stars did it hurt to do so.  More so than he thought he could take, his vision swimming black for a moment or two. One of his arms had to be broken as well, he could feel the bones shifting inside, the pain enough to make him nauseous, but he had to keep going.  A few heavy pushes, and he could fix his gaze on the boy.

Ezra Bridger, kneeled on the floor, doubled over onto his hands, breathing so heavily he was nearly heaving.  Thrawn watched him, exhausted, and grappling to pull himself together, it made him feel something akin to pity, but the pain in his own body and realization that this boy destroyed nearly twenty years of his work made those thoughts disappear.  His face fell into a glare, all thoughts of composure having been sucked out into space along with the rest of the bridge, a rage more intense than any he’s ever felt heated up in his core, it pulsing along with his heart beat. He watched as Bridger’s breathing came back to normal, the heaving getting quieter and his shoulders shaking less with the choppy breaths.  When he finally sat up, his eyes caught Thrawn’s. He had the gall to smirk at the Chiss.

“Looks like you’ve lost Thrawn.”  He laughed, voice slightly hoarse.  He didn’t dignify that with a response, allowing his thoughts to stew longer.  “No smart lectures to give me?” He pushed back on the floor, pushing his legs out from under him to sit more comfortably.

“You don’t know what you’ve done, Ezra Bridger.”  He rasped, surprised he was even able to get any sound out at all.  Bridger seemed shocked to hear it as well.

“I know I saved my home, stopped you and your precious Empire from destroying any more good in this galaxy!”  So it would be like this then.

“You have unwittingly opened the door to a much more dangerous force to wreak havoc on your galaxy, damned child!”  His voice rose, mind swimming with too much pain to keep it in check. Only resulting in another coughing fit, pressuring his broken and bruised bones.  He feels like he blacked out for a second or two, for he was suddenly face down on the floor. He angled his head back up, not bothering to push himself back up.

Bridger watched him with a look of confusion mixed with concern, still the underlay of spite in there.  Maybe it was more than a second or two, the young Jedi debating which question to ask first.

“What do you mean?”  He asked in the end, Thrawn needing a few slow breaths before he could respond.

“Never once had you wondered what I, a foreign alien to your galaxy was doing in the Empire?”  When he didn’t answer, Thrawn continued. “Have you ever seen anyone who looked like me?”

“No…”

“Why would the Empire allow an alien into their ranks, let alone an outsider to their galaxy?”  It was no secret to anyone of the Empire’s xenophobia, and Thrawn was the culmination of what was hated more in the Empire.  An alien from the Unknown Regions that wrestled his way into the Emperor’s spotlight.

“I don’t know!  What’s this have to do with anything?!”  Thrawn sighed, head pulsing with a stinging ache.  The boy was smarter than this, he knew he was, but his emotions would keep him from seeing the answer.

“There are things out in the Unknown Regions, things far worse than me, than the Empire.  And I was here to try and stop them.” Bridger furrowed his brows, but Thrawn pushed on, despite the straining on his lungs, and even pushed himself back up with his arms.  “I was sent here to study the Empire, deem its usefulness to my people and to persuade them for their aid on the darkness that lurked in the Unknown Regions.”

“Yeah right, like I’m going to believe that!”

“Bridger, my ultimate loyalties laid with my own people, the Empire was a tool meant to aid my motives.  Nearly twenty years spent towards this goal, and you,” his voice dropped to a near growl, “you just destroyed everything.”  His anger had some impact on the boy, but not enough to sway his frustrations.

“The Empire was nothing but an evil dark presence in the galaxy!  All it did was destroy, it could never help anyone!”

“It could when the aid was phrased correctly.  If a bigger threat was found, it could have been persuaded, that was my job!  I had just successfully delayed Project Stardust, which would have been an extreme menace to everyone, not just the Rebellion.  Now it’s only competition is gone.”

“Stardust?  W-What’s that?”  Thrawn felt his voice growing hoarser the more he talked, pinpricks of pain nearly making his voice crack every time he spoke.

“The Death Star.  The Empire...Emperor, he’s building a weapon, so big it’s nearly beyond-comprehension.”  It was becoming a real chore to fight through the pain. Head swimming in the sensations, spots filtering through his vision the longer he fought to hold himself up.

“What kind of weapon?!  What do you mean?! Thrawn!”  Bridger’s shouts got fainter and fainter, even as the Jedi crawled on one arm over to him.  But Thrawn was gone, vision turning black, head thumping against the cool durasteel.

* * *

 

Ezra stared dumbly at the unconscious Grand Admiral, not dead, at least not yet, but barely hanging on.  Just seconds after he went limp, Ezra made it to the alien’s side. Resting on his knees, he used his good arm to flip him over, he didn’t even flinch at the movement.  He was out. Figures, right after dropping a bombshell of news like that he goes out like a light.

Ezra sighed, double checking for a pulse, and placing his hand over his nose.  The breath was faint, but still there. Honestly, just two minutes ago, he wouldn’t of minded if Thrawn just keeled over, but, his words left him incredibly curious.  Looking around his surroundings, and remembering that this is Thrawn’s ship, filled with people loyal to Thrawn, keeping him in operating order would probably be for the best.

Scooching closer around his side, he patted down his hips and legs, down to his boots, making sure he was unarmed before pressing around his abdomen.  Ezra cringed feeling something move that probably shouldn’t, drawing his hands away swiftly. He didn't know how to treat anything like this, and the bridge wouldn’t exactly have what he would need anyway.  Thrawn didn’t seem to be bleeding heavily, just some blood smeared to his lips, hopefully that meant nothing vital was punctured. There was a medbay on this ship, most likely equipped with a bacta tank. A dip in there would fix him up almost just right, but there was no way Ezra could get there without someone shooting him on the spot.

Only now did it dawn on him that, yes he in fact was alone, on a ship filled with Imperials who greatly resented him.  He never felt so lonely before. Not even all those years ago, just after losing his parents. He was on his own, but not truly alone.  There was Mr. Sumar, Old Joe, plenty of people that if need be he could turn to. And back then, it wasn’t him against the world, it was him against a few, sometimes him against himself.  But now, now it was him against everyone, no one he could fall back on, no one he could rely on to catch him. Like Kanan.

Sabine, he could count on Sabine.  That much he knew, but by now she was actually worlds away.  While he had faith she’d come for him, he knew it would take time.  Slumping back to sit on his feet, he sighed, running a hand down his face.  All the excitement of his success, of liberating his home, defeating Thrawn, it dwindled.  Now a growing sense of fear, regret and foreboding settled deep into his core. What had he gotten himself into?  It was worth it, yes, but he still had to suffer through the aftermath.

Thrawn made a noise of discomfort, but didn’t wake again.  Ezra glared down at him, all the emotions that had been festering since the Battle of Atollon, and even before that.  He was the specific roadblock that kept them from saving Lothal sooner. The one obstacle that almost stopped them the second time.  That lead to Kanan dying, to him having to leave his family, give up his home. All culminated here in this one being.

This being whose face scrunched up in agony, in emotions that he didn’t even think possible before.  This being who was now entirely at Ezra’s mercy. This being that was just a pathetic man who commanded power he shouldn’t possess.  Some of the anger left, exhaustion taking its place. Ezra slumped more, watching Thrawn’s chest stutter up and down. He’s going to die if he doesn’t do anything to help him.  But for the time being, Ezra could do nothing for him.

So he crossed his legs, resting his palms on his knees and shut his eyes, taking deep breaths.  Slowly he felt himself drift away from himself, the pain getting weaker and weaker until he felt nothing at all, but calm bliss.  Only the Force. Where time and place were nothing to him, just himself, and the cosmic Force. He’d never been too good at meditating, no matter how much Kanan tried to teach him, but after what happened at the Jedi Temple, it became easier to connect with the Force like this.  He hopped Kanan was proud of him.

Seconds or hours passed, Ezra didn’t know.  But suddenly, into his meditative state, another presence appeared, active, jolting, painful.  It disturbed his focus, the presence faint but bright. Ezra watched it form before him in his mind, glowing red, dancing around him like a nebulous cloud.  It seemed agitated, maybe even scared, but curious. It came closer to him. He reached out to touch it, slowly, like approaching an animal. His fingertips stretched out, just barely brushing the spirit.  And a shock ran through the both of them, the spirit darting away in an instant out of sight. Ezra shocked right out of his meditation, coming back to his body, which now lay flat on his back.

Coughing and retching reached his ears.  Sitting up quickly, he saw Thrawn convulsing, blood dripping past his lips.  One arm still lay limp on the ground, the other clutched at his chest tightly, as if he could just, reach in and fix whatever plagued him.

“Karabast!”  Ezra snapped reaching for the alien, pulling him over onto his side.  Thrawn made a strangled cry, surely something shifting badly. One his side though he could finally hack out the blood stuck in his throat, it sputtering on the ground before him.  But after a few more wretches, he was able to breath in again, albeit shakily. He looked very weak, eyes lidded, skin a paler blue than he remembered. “Thrawn?” He asked, keeping his hand on his shoulder.

What came in response didn’t sound like words to Ezra.  Some strange formation of sounds, sounding both like an intricate language and a pile of gibberish.  But Thrawn spoke it so clearly, it had to be a language of some sort, maybe his own. He pushed on the shoulder a bit, angling Thrawn’s face to look at him, and the red eyes widened then fell again.

“How...long?”  He coughs out, eyeing the blood pooled in front of him.

“I don’t know, long enough for you to almost choke on your own blood.”

“Hyperspace?”  Ezra looked up, despite knowing that he wouldn’t be able to see anything out of the windows.

“Yeah, we haven’t come back out yet.”  Thrawn fell silent, and Ezra was unsure if it was to hold back on pain or something else.  “We need to do something about your injuries, you might die if we don’t.

“Isn’t that what you wish, young Jedi?”  He took a few slow breaths, Ezra could hear the blood in his throat.  “You have defeated your enemy, do you not wish to finish...finish your victory?”  It was sarcasm, or spite, harder to tell in Thrawn’s weakened state, either way neither was positive.

“No need to do that, you’re defeated, I’ve won, I got my victory.”  Thrawn tried to speak again, only resulting on a halfhearted coughing fit.  Head lolling again, but he didn’t pass out. Ezra opened his mouth, wanting to bring back up the conversation from earlier, but sounds from outside the bridge cut him off.

He looked over to the bridge doors, Thrawn shifting beside him, as if to try and do the same.  It sounded like a murmur of a few voices, some knocks on the durasteel and a shout. Ezra glanced around for a weapon, barely catching a glint of one resting beside the body of a Stormtrooper.  Calling on the Force, he pulled the blaster into his hands just before the door slid open. Five troopers poured into the bridge, scanning until they found Ezra, and all blasters were trained on him.  He raised his own, prepared to at least go down fighting. All of them readied their blasters, the unmistakable sound echoing in the room. Ezra swallowed slowly, aiming on the closest trooper-

“Halt!”  He flinched, head whipping to Thrawn who leaned up on one arm, raising the other in the air at the troopers.  Three officers came in after, one leading the pack, looking around at the damages.

“Sir!”  The officer, a woman, called, running in front of the troopers.  Ezra trained his blaster on her as she came closer, faltering her step.  Her own hand falling to her hip.

“I said, halt.”  Thrawn groaned, grabbing Ezra’s blaster, pointing it down.  The troopers followed suit. The officer waited until Ezra released the weapon and ran to Thrawn’s side.

“Sir, what are the damages?”  She asked, ignoring Ezra other than a sharp pointed glare at him.

“Worse than my earlier diagnosis, I fear I may be out of commission until they are dealt with.”  He answered, needing to clear his throat, leading to some hacking up of more blood. His white uniform was stained beyond repair now.

“Why is the Jedi still here?”  She hissed, not quietly enough for Ezra to hear.

“Obviously, he was the one who put us all in this predicament, Commodore Faro.”  Faro flinched at the remark, and when she spoke next it was much more controlled.

“All internal systems are still operational, including medical equipment, we should be able to patch you up.  We have spent the past twelve hours gathering all survivors and supplies in the mess hall.”

“Twelve hours?  How long have we been in hyperspace?”

“Just shy of twenty hours now, we tried to enter the bridge but it wouldn’t budge.  We decided to both rest and gather all out resources. We feared the worst had happened to everyone on the bridge, that we’d lost you.”

“Fear not Commodore.  I commend you for taking command in my place, good work.”  The woman nearly beamed, but kept herself composed. “Now, as for Ezra Bridger,” Ezra flinched and straightened up at the mention, “no one is to harm him in any way.”

“But sir, why-”

“No one, Commodore.  He is the most knowledgeable about our situation and subsequent aftermath, we need his expertise.  So for the time being, any qualms had with young Bridger must be put aside if any of us have a chance of coming out of this alive.”

“Who says I’ll help any of you?”  Ezra snapped, not bothering to think it through before doing so.

“Because, without me every person available on this ship would attempt to kill you, and one of them would eventually succeed.  Without you, we are all lost in a world you brought us to. We need each other, now, your cooperation would be most...agreeable…”  He started to cough again, getting more blood on the back of his hand. He had a point, and Ezra hated the fact that he did.

“Sir, we need to get you to the med bay.”  Faro urged, bringing an arm across his back, prepared to help him stand.  Thrawn waved her off.

“Bridger takes precedence, get his shoulder patched up.  Go take him.”

“Sir, with all due respect-”

“Commodore, I may not be fit to move, but I am of sound mind, and the young Jedi is more pertinent to our immediate survival, now take him to the medical droids, and I shall follow.”  She grimaced but nodded, motioning two troopers over. They huddled around Ezra, who held up his good arm to keep them back.

“I can walk just fine.”  He stated, standing to prove the point.  The were clearly tense, not trusting him anymore than he trusted them.

“Anything happens to him, and you all shall suffer the consequences.”  Thrawn threatened, and the troopers turned on their heels, walking out, Ezra moving to follow after, at a safe distance, blaster clenched tightly in his hands.

“Let’s get you up after them, Sir.”  He heard Faro whisper to Thrawn, followed by a few groans from the man.

The ship rocked violently, throwing a trooper and the two officers to the ground, Ezra just barely managing to stay upright.  Looking around, he could feel the difference. They’d dropped from hyperspace. That being the last thought in his mind before the ship slammed directly into something, throwing everyone off their feet as the ship began to crash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here they are! Finally we get to start seeing what happened to our boys! And with this chapter, all three plot lines have been introduced and from here we'll be jumping between the three and checking in as each story progresses! I was excited for this chapter, I hope you all enjoyed, thank you for the kudos' and comments and the love!
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	7. Chapter Four - Eli - Breadcrumbs

The first jump was incredibly short compared to his original jump to reach Lothal.  From the trajectory and the map provided by Sabine, this should be the first planet along the Chimaera’s route.  Not in their path, but close enough that it was worth investigating, and most likely the final planet before entering Wild Space.  There was still another planet or two after this before he’d go off the map of charted space, but the outterness of this one was still evident.

Eli had always felt far away out in Wild Space, but on his side of the galaxy, there were still stories of people living out beyond, like the Chiss, but on this side of the galaxy.  It felt like staring out into a void, an infinite space where he would never know what was out there. Good or bad, there could truly be anything.

Shaking his head, he cleared it of these thoughts.  He spent the past seven years in a completely foreign region of space, he did it once, he can do it again.  But for now, he was still in a known, charted space, and should relish this fact before leaving familiar star charts.  The data pad called back his attention, and Eli picked up where he left off in his reading.

There really wasn’t much to know about Dornea.  Outside of their part in the Galactic Civil War.  Mainly known for their Braha’tok-class gunship. Instrumental in aiding the Alliance.  He might have heard mention of this planet in passing meetings close to the time he left the Empire, but nothing significant enough to recall.  He’s sure Thrawn would remember.

Just the sudden thought of Thrawn had his mood slightly soured.  Maybe being back around other Humans had made him far more emotional.  Chiss would have had a field day if they could see how easily his feelings swayed just days away from them.  If it took this little for him to fall back into Human emotional inconsistencies, what sort of effect had it had on Thrawn the years he was immersed in Humans?

Eli snickered to himself, thinking of Humans rubbing off on Thrawn.  By now even he’d probably be too emotional by Chiss standards. He wasn’t that reserved standards to start with when compared to other Chiss, which came as a huge shock to Eli right after joining the Ascendancy.  It took almost three years before he got Thrass to so much as smile at him.

Thrass!  He was supposed to give the Chiss updates on his progress.  Eli cursed under his breath, making sure the ship would remain idle and searched for the right communicator.  Slipping it off his belt, Eli rolled his fingers over the small device, and paused. What did he have to report, what progress has he truly made?  He made it to Lothal and knows what happened the day Thrawn disappeared, as unbelievable as it was. But that is all. He has an idea and a direction.  And even then, Thrawn’s fate is still completely unknown to him.

Looking down at the communicator with a dejected gaze, Eli sighed, clipping it back to his belt.  He could wait to give Thrass an update when there was something worth reporting. Like a solid lead, or proof of Thrawn’s survival.  Which, he assumed, wouldn’t present itself for quite some time. Instead, he directed his attention back to the planet below.

The surface, from this distance, seemed almost entirely a teal tint.  A majority of the planet was covered in oceans from what he read. Not a planet big on galactic trading, relations, or travel.  They seem pretty reclusive, and the lack of air traffic around the planet reflected this. Lacking did not mean non existent, a few ships matching the specs detailed in the datafile floated above the planet’s orbit.  These being their anti-starcraft gunships, there to defend the planet from any number of threats. Dorneans were a race that heavily favored defensive tactics, which would explain why they haven't engaged Eli, rather waiting to see his intentions from a far, not wanting to open themselves up by taking an offensive approach.  Taking back control of his shuttle, Eli drifted closer to what he assumed was the Dornean navy, and hailed their coms.

Confident he wouldn’t be shot upon, because of both their nature, and a byproduct of spending so long with overly confident Chiss, Eli could relax.  Leisurely, he approach the craft while waiting for a response. The seconds ticked by, Eli subconsciously drumming his fingers across the ships console.  The sound rhythmic, and so absent in recent years, it almost caught him off guard.

Chiss don’t fidget, they don’t really feel anxious, or nervous.  They don’t shift in place, rub their hands together or do anything that makes noise just for the sake of making noise.  Not even the children he worked with. The need just didn’t seem to be in their biology, or they were schooled to never act on said impulses.  Eli couldn’t tell which, never saw a child raised, only ever the sky-walkers, which came to him already at a somewhat mature age for Chiss, after extensive training.  No where near adults, but far beyond simple children.

He missed those girls, his girls, he reminded himself.  The first time he was introduced to the concept, he had some choice words with Thrass and Ar’alani, and despite being subdued, he was never pacified on the matter.  To use children,  _ children _ , in this way, Eli’s mouth soured just thinking of it.  What made the situation worse for him, was how normal everyone around him treated it.  Even the girls. He knew that’s because it was normal for them, but his rage persisted.

There was nothing he could do while working under Chiss on their ships, just grit his teeth and bare it.  However, the moment he had his own ship, under his own command, he tried refusing to take on an sky-walker.  That, didn’t go over well. Eli huffed out a laugh to himself. That was a borderline nightmare, that threatened to revoke his status, costing him all his hard work.  So he took on a navigator, but that didn’t mean he was going to bend under the pressure of the Ascendancy. He never did do everything perfectly under regulation.

His console beeped, a red light blinking rapidly, catching him mid thought.  They were accepting his communication line. Smoothing out his hair subconsciously, Eli patched through the com, seeing the hologram fizzle in before him.  The Dornean before him looked mildly disgruntled to see Eli, to say the least. His eyes narrowed, the quills around them twitching with the movement. As the jowls around his mouth turned further downwards.

“State your business here.”  The figure demanded, tilting his chin higher.  The hologram displayed the entire figure of the Naval Officer.  Hands tucked neatly behind his back, held in a tight attention stance.  He reeked of authority, and Eli could tell he was projecting. While he could no doubt take down Eli without much effort, he would prefer to have Eli leave on his own than exert the forces necessary.

“I am a simple traveler out investigating an old disappearance from a nearby system.  I was hoping if I could speak with anyone willing about...some spatial anomalies that may have occurred here roughly six standard years ago.”  Eli provided, also rattling off the specific day while squaring his shoulders, and keeping his chin level. He wanted to come off as pacifying as possible.  He had noticed how the Dornean didn’t introduce himself, and Eli was not about the give information for nothing.

“Are you Imperial?  We know these ships, and those who ride in them.”  Eli put on the nicest smile he could muster without appearing fake.

“No, I get that a lot.  This is my refurbished shuttle.”  He didn’t seem convinced. Eli tilted his shuttle to the side, giving off a good view of the left wing.  “Do you know of Sabine Wren, or Phoenix Squadron? My investigation is fully supported by her.” The Dornean looked to his side, most likely checking Eli’s claim, and he could see the moment the realization dawned on his blubbery face.

“O-Oh!  Yes, I see.  Sorry for the hostilities, I am Admiral Biran T’iblen of the Dornean Navy.  We have worked closely with the Phoenix Squadron as well as the Rebellion. We cannot be too careful out this far with rumors of remnants of the Empire lingering.”

“No worries.  The name’s Eli.  Like I said, I was just hoping to maybe speak with anyone with insight into my investigation.  I know it’s strange, but I was hoping there may have been recorded anomalies in the space around this planet six years ago.”  It was less strange and more a complete long shot. He was really only riding on a hunch that a huge herd of Purgill towing Star Destroyers through hyperspace might cause some sort of abnormal occurrences.  But even if that hunch is right, finding someone around who saw this six years ago was an even longer one.

“It is an odd request, let me search our records.”  The change was drastic. His shoulders relaxed, the quills around his eyes lowered as did his chin.  Coming off as far more friendly. “It should not take long, if you do not mind a wait.” Eli had been waiting seven years to see Thrawn again, he was prepared to wait a bit longer.  That didn’t keep an itch from the back of his head nagging him about wasting time.

“That sounds good.  I really appreciate the help.”  Eli bowed his head shallowly and T’iblen gave him a short nod in return.

He had expected more of a fight, or at least suspicion.  A simple little symbol was giving him respect on par with high level credentials.  The tactician in him found it inherently flawed, it wasn’t impossible that someone could fake the marking, especially if it was well known enough to be effective, enemies could replicate it.

But the part of said tactician that was around directly because of Thrawn told him, there was something subtle and easy to overlook that make this symbol genuine against a fake.  The need to inspect the design in detail next time he stopped rose on his list of immediate priorities. Stars Thrass was right, he does act too much like Thrawn sometimes. And the damn Chiss would be proud if he found out about that.

Eli smirked, a heat blooming in his chest, much like it always did when Thrawn would voice his praises of Eli’s actions.  Despite the years apart, he could recall the man as if they’d just spoken yesterday. How Eli wished they had.

The first year away from Thrawn was very possibly the hardest since joining any military service.  He was competent, very much so, knew what he was getting himself into and was well able of handling himself.  But something about not having Thrawn’s guiding hand and commanding presence beside him anymore made some of his previously weeded out uncertainties return.

The first two months specifically was one trip up after another.  Chiss were always confident in everything they did. Full of pride and assuredness, but Eli lacked that.  Even when he knew he was making the right decisions and moves, he still felt unsure of himself and his capabilities.  Which isn’t something that lasts long in Chiss military service he learned.

By month three he was given an ultimatum.  Harden his spirit, or they’d be sending him right back to Thrawn.  And that had snapped something within him. Actual failure laid on his horizon, disappointment, and proving the skewed points of every Chiss against Thrawn, and against Eli’s abilities.

With an effort he found his confidence.  While he had to falsify his confidence, over time it became more and more real.  By the end of his first year he was operating at peak efficiency, on the same level if not better than the Chiss around him.  To this day, he found it embarrassing how he’d floundered, but he really did need that wake up call. That he is responsible alone for himself and the Chiss around him.  And Thrawn wouldn’t be behind him to catch him if he fell, no one would be. So he just made it so he’d never fall.

He earned the respect given to him, and while in the beginning it annoyed him, people had compared him to Thrawn.  And even that, with time faded. Of course they’d account Eli’s success to Thrawn, and while some of it he could credit Thrawn for his teachings, it still was all Eli.  Eli leading success after success, against threats to the Ascendency. Eli who would solve difficult puzzles and get to the bottom of mysteries. Eli who lead his crew strongly and effectively, just him alone.

It was Thrass who mentioned that wasn’t why the Chiss kept comparing them.  It was their similar levels of success, their unorthodox methods, their just pushing the envelope tactics, and their similar personalities.  Eli would never have compared he and Thrawn’s personalities as being anywhere near similar. And had he been a less controlled man, might have laughed right in Thrass’ face.  But, by Chiss standards, they were right.

Eli was quick to realize that his opinions and treatment of sky-walkers were nearly the same, as well as how highly Eli prized life.  Not that the Chiss didn’t, but that didn’t extend too far past their own people. Whereas, both he and Thrawn prized  _ all _ life, unwilling to leave any people behind, Chiss or no.  That had helped him get over the constant comparison of him to Thrawn, and actually made him feeling a bit of pride about it.

Flinching out of his thoughts, Eli glanced down at his ships controls to see Admiral T’iblen requesting contact again.  That was a lot quicker than Eli thought it would take. Sitting up taller in his seat, he accepted the transmission, internally relieved to see the Admiral still looking friendly.

“I believe we may have found something that could be beneficial to your search, Eli.”  He held up a data pad as he spoke scanning through the information on it.

“That’s fantastic!  What have you found?”  The excitement was clear and real, any information was useful information at this point.

“On the specified date, six years ago, we have reports of strange debris and an increase in interstellar animals appearing within our space.  It is custom for defence purposes that anything unexpected that comes through our territory, is reported in detail. I’m sending over a file attachment.”  Within seconds the file transmitted and Eli was able to open and display the hologram.

Before him, a blue sphere appeared, most likely Dornea, then, tiny bits began appearing on the holo.  They looked like a rendition of ship wreckage. Along with the specks came the vague holo of three purgill.

“This is just a recreation of the reports, but, as is being displayed, several purgill as they’re called emerged from hyperspace, and along with them came Imperial fleet wreckage.  At the time that was unclear, but we retrieved some of it and analysed the pieces.” That wasn’t surprising, with the unconventional way the ship was forced into hyperspace, losing pieces along the way was inevitable.  Still, it didn’t bode well for the theory that Thrawn survived the trip.

“Yes that is very beneficial to my research.  Is there anything else?”

“All of the wreckage looked to be Imperial crafts, much like your own as well as TIE Fighters.  Furthermore, taking in their approach vector and instantaneous speed, we were able to determine the trajectory of the rest of the herd.”  He leaned forward, pressing some switches out of sight, and the map before Eli changed. Added with the looping entry and exit of the purgil, was a slightly curved line from entry to exit.

Quickly, Eli pulled up his own map comprised by Sabine comparing the two vectors.  The path taken by the purgill was in fact curving. Not by much, only lightly over parsecs, but enough to throw off his initial trajectory.  If he’d continued in a straight line to the first planet he found, he’d no doubt have completely missed the remains of the Chimaera. Eli mentally shook his head, he shouldn’t think like that.  Missed the Chimaera and it’s crew, not it’s remains.

“This is extremely helpful to my research, thank you very much for your time!”  Eli smiled up at Admiral T’iblen making quick notes on his datapad.

“Of course, we owe much to the New Republic, and any allies to that beginning Rebel Alliance is an ally to my fleet.”  Eli wanted to snort at that. He could hardly be called an ally to Sabine Wren, more like a passerby who could be useful, and certainly was never an ally to the Rebel Alliance.  But that was what got him his needed information, so he just smiled and nodded.

“Yes, thank you again.  I won’t stay in your hair, I have more research to conduct-”

“What is this research all about, might I ask?”  Eli swallowed slowly at the interruption. Suspicion was rising in the Admiral, though he wasn’t trying to hide it.

“I’m doing research on Liberty Day on Lothal and doing a piece on the fate of the Seventh Fleet that was driven from the planet.  No one knows what ever happened after the Purgil took the ships and I’m hoping to get to the bottom of it. I have a promising position in the New Republic Holonews and hopefully this piece will rocket my career in journalism.”  He kept on the sincerest smile all through his straight lie, and the Admiral seemed to scan him over a bit longer.

“Ah, well, I look forward to such a piece.  Good luck on your search. And I wish you safe travels.”  He gave Eli a shallow bow, which he belatedly returned, the relief stuttering his thoughts a moment.

“Thank you, and have a great day!”

“I will with the Empire finally gone.”  He laughed and Eli joined him up until the hologram fizzled away.

Wordlessly, he began prepping the hyperdrive for his next jump.  Needing a change in vectors and a system cycle to plot the appropriate course.  The next celestial body in his path seemed to be a far orbiting moon of Dornea, he’d need to check the orbital pattern to see if it lined up with the day of the purgill attack but for the moment he set course to the moon, heading off to the smaller mass.

The information, while beneficial from keeping him on a wild bantha chase, held a darkness to it.  Debris would be expected to be lost whilst traveling faster than light by tentacled space faring creatures.  And the fact that it wasn’t actual pieces of the Chimaera was promising, meaning the ship was still intact this far into its trip.  But the fact it was smaller craft like TIE’s and Lambdas, only had one conclusion to it. Thrawn wasn’t in control of the crew.

The only way TIE fighters and shuttles would end up outside the Star Destroyer after its jump, would be if people had tried to leave the hanger while traveling through hyperspace.  Which was suicide. No ship would survive the immediate deceleration and would quite literally be torn to shreds. Thrawn knew this.

So, if ships had attempted to jettison during flight, Thrawn would have stopped them.  The fact that they had done so meant either the crew turned against Thrawn, which was impossible Eli knew, they were all more loyal to Thrawn than the Empire, hence why they were specifically on the Chimaera.  The other option being that Thrawn was injured enough to be unable to give orders, or dead.

Neither were promising.

Dead, obviously would make this whole trip for nothing, as well as emotionally hurt Eli in a way he’d only ever felt once before.  And stars he didn’t want to go through that again. Even just the thought had his heart clenching painfully in his chest. No, Thrawn was not dead, he was certain, he had to be alive.

But, him being injured was no better.  Injury substantial enough to put him out of command of the ship could be potentially catastrophic.  When an angry teenager was responsible for his fate, one who knew nothing of Chiss biology, and none of the crew knew anything about Chiss, Thrawn’s survival became slimmer.  Karyn Faro would be the closest to know specifics about Thrawn’s medical needs, and even then it was limited. If she was even on board and uninjured herself.

These negative thoughts were getting him and his aching heart nowhere.  This was six years ago now. If he had gotten injured enough to die, it was well beyond Eli’s aid now.  His only action forward would be to find him, or what’s left of him, and hope for the best.

He needed a distraction.

Powering back on his data pad, he flipped back to the information on file about Dornea.  The planet had two moons, one closer to the planets of a revolution cycle of roughly one planetary month, and the second which took three planetary months to complete one revolution.

This calculation was a roughly simple one.  Just plugging in the revolution time, the current date and location, then the requested date, he could easily find the position of the moon on whatever date he input.  Programs like this were written up for most planets in the known galaxy, all thankfully public domain, which was extremely useful to him.

With the numbers input, the computer needed barely a second before outputting the requested data.  Adding that with his ongoing map and the altered trajectory, he lined up the position of the moon. Sure enough, the position coincided with the new course predicted for the Chimaera.  Most likely, if anything else came from the ship, he might find further proof of it there.

He documented this finding as well as everything he’d gotten from Admiral T’iblen into his growing folder of research.  If he ever needed to convince someone this was research for some article, he had more than enough information to appease them.  With everything cataloged, organized and closed down, he had only a short trip to the planet’s moon.

It came up quicker than he thought.  From this distance, nothing seemed out of place, other than this area definitely was not frequented much.  The moon was much too small to sustain any bases nor did it seem to hold any useful materials worth mining.  All while not having any atmosphere to speak of, it was just a simple rock orbiting a larger planet.

Nonetheless he brought his ship in closer, getting right up next to the surface, scanning it as he went along.  Looking for just anything that stood out against the gray dusty surface. At first, nothing, just rocks and crevices on the barren surface.  But after a few minutes, he started spotting glints sticking out from craters.

He peered in closer, following the apparent metal shards until coming across something larger.  It was half buried and covered in rock dust, but there was no mistaking it for the landing strut of a larger shuttle.  While origin was unclear, there was a good bet it was a Lambda. He continued forward, following more of the path, this time coming across what looked to be half a TIE fighter, but not like one he’d seen.  At least it hadn't at first.

What was left of the cockpit was clearly some TIE model, but the remaining wing wasn't standard.  But somehow familiar. It was smaller than normal TIE’s wings, and had two separate panels with it.  Judging by its size and placement, it was one of three - then it hit him.

Thrawn’s pet project.  Something he’d been researching and theorizing before Eli had left.  A variant of TIE’s that were faster, equipped with hyperdrives and shields.  It seemed impossible at the time, but Eli had been no engineer, and Thrawn only fiddled with the idea in private, on occasion passing an idea off to Eli for his input.

But he remembered, in Thrawn’s reports Eli brought with him for the Aristocra, he was seriously trying to implement this new model to take down the growing Rebel cells.  It was based more closely around Chiss ships of similar caliber, and was meant to be an incentive against whatever super weapon was in development Thrawn was looking for.  The Death Star, Eli knew now.

This was the remains of one of those special TIE’s, vaguely recalling the prototype schematics Thrawn was drawing up with some specialists.  Which proves the truth of the shifted trajectory of the purgill, and that the Chimaera specifically was still with them.

Eli wasn’t sure if that was good or not.

But this was enough to convince him he was now on the right track again.  Pulling up his star charts, not wanting to stare at the long abandoned and forgotten ship, he looked along the lane to the next thing in his path.

Baros, that was the closest thing on his way.  This planet inhabited and still within the Outer Rim, though just bordering on Wild Space.  This possibly being a better stop for him, looking like they were less involved in the Galactic Civil War, hopefully meaning they would have no immediate ill will to his ship.

Piloting himself away from the moon’s surface, and the haunting shipwrecks left there, he began prepping his hyperdrive once again.  The trail was still fresh, as fresh as a six year old trail could be, and regardless of what he did find, Eli knew he’d find something.  He just had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unraveling the mystery one stop at a time! Hope you guys are still enjoying, loving all the comments and Kudos' I've been recieving, thank you all!! <3
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	8. Chapter Five - Sabine - Forgotten

Sabine never really got to know Ahsoka when she was working as Fulcrum.  Once she revealed herself to the crew, Ezra and Kanan took more interest in her, and she was always off on some sort of Force related business.  But she knew the stories of Ahsoka Tano, it was hard not to, as a Mandalorian. She took part in a significant point in Mandalorian history, she became practically a household name while Sabine was growing up.

The history books said she had died during the siege of Mandalore, to hear it was faked in the aftermath of the rising Empire, actually made Sabine relieved.  Then, to learn from Ezra and Kanan that she had died on Malachor, she was devastated, but there were more pressing matters at hand, and she never truly got to mourn.  And the day Ahsoka walked back into her life, like some sort of goddess, unscathed by injury or age, Sabine just came to believe she couldn’t die. Whether or not that was true had yet to be seen.

Once Ahsoka knew the fate of Ezra, she took time meditating, she told Sabine, trying to find him.  But with the ongoing conflict of the Empire and the Rebellion clouding her visions, it was impossible to try and find him.  So they each hunkered down, aiding the rebellion where ever they could, knowing that when this war was over, when the Rebellion eventually won, then would be their time to conduct their search.  This day was a long time coming.

So, when Sabine came to a halt before the Togruta, she gestured them to her ship, Sabine retrieved her bags and went without a word.  Ahsoka still somehow had an old T-6 shuttle from the Clone Wars, still in great condition. There was no crew, just the two of them, on a decently sized ship for their long journey.  She already spent most of her younger years living on the Ghost, spending more time on another ship for extended periods wouldn’t pose an issue. She could only assume Ahsoka wouldn’t be bothered by it either.

“Before we start our search, I have to know.”  Sabine began, helmet held under her arm, as she sat down in the pilot's chair, watching Ahsoka gracefully take seat beside her.  “Is Ezra still alive?” Ahsoka closed her eyes slowly, resting her staff against the wall, and threading her fingers together in her lap.

“I have meditated on this, from the moment the second Death Star was destroyed, I reached out into the Force, searching for him.”  She spoke, voice having not aged a day, but wisdom laced through her words, and Sabine knew, even if she hadn’t known Ahsoka, that she was wise well beyond her years, by a long shot.

“And?”

“He has not joined in the cosmic Force, I am certain he is still alive.”  Sabine let out a sigh, releasing the death grip she hadn’t realized she had on her helmet.  While she believed in her heart that Ezra was still out there, hearing it confirmed lightened a heavy weight from her shoulders.  Ahsoka smiled at her as she pulled down her white hood.

“And what about Grand Admiral Thrawn?”  She found herself asking, for no other reason other than Eli Vanto’s words making her curious.

“I cannot say, I never met him.  I am very familiar with Ezra’s Force presence, I cannot speak so confidently of individuals I do not know.”

“That’s alright, if Ezra is still out there, Thrawn is either dead or nowhere near him.”  If that was true, her heart went out for Eli, on a wild chase for a lost husband who may never be found, but didn’t linger on him.  “How will we be heading underway? Can you like, Force track him?”

“Not exactly.”  Ahsoka sighed, turning her chair to better face Sabine.  “Some Jedi had the ability of retrocognition, which was used for tracking, but it was a rare ability, and only useful in short times and over short distances.  I can’t follow Ezra through the Force, however we can still use the Force to find him.”

“Um, what do you mean?”  Sabine knew Kanan could sometimes be vague or cryptic, but he still got to the point pretty quickly.  The Force didn’t need to be so mysterious, but of the Force users she’d met, they sure loved to make it so.

“We can allow the Force to guide us, it can lead us in the correct direction.”

“How do we do that?”  It didn’t really make sense to Sabine how an invisible Force could guide them anywhere.

“Unfortunately, that task lies with me, I can meditate, and connect with the Force, allowing it to take my consciousness, and trust in it to show me the way.”

“And I can’t do that…Well, I can fly the ship and blow up anything in our way.”  The women shared another smile, lightening the mood, for Sabine at least. The whole ordeal with Ezra had had her on edge since he first left.  With a raging war and a world to protect, it got easier to ignore. Now, however, all that worry had her right back on that edge with nothing to distract her from it.  She just wanted Ezra back Home.

“That you can, we will both be necessary on this journey.”

“Okay, sounds good to me.”  She turned, facing forward, prepping the ship systems for take of.  “Which way we headed?”

“Atollon.”

“What, why would we go there?  It isn’t even in the direction Ezra left in.  There’s no way he’s there!” Ahsoka wasn’t an idiot, Sabine knew this, but that had to be the worst suggestion of where to look she’d heard.  The only thing that would have been worse would suggesting they search Lothal.

“Yes, but it is the direction the Force wills us to go, so we must follow.  I am sure, answers will be found there.”

“Okay…”  Sabine didn’t bother trying to sound convinced, but she continued the take off sequence nonetheless.  She learned long ago, when it came to the Force, to just go with it. “At least it’s not far.” Ahsoka, turned as well, pressing a few switches in an effort to help Sabine along.  Even if it wasn’t the right direction, at least they were finally making progress towards finding Ezra, and she’d take all she could get at this point.

The trip to Atollon wasn’t a long one, and Sabine knew it very well at this point.  Despite not having gone there in years, she’d made the trip more than enough times to probably find it blind at this point.  The entire jump, Ahsoka didn’t seem to have anything to say, she appeared content to sit in her chair, eyes closed. Sabine didn’t mind, not really, but her anxieties were stirring, making her more antsy than usual.  She never was good with waiting and patience. Thankfully, since the jump wasn’t long, Atollon appeared before them out of hyperspace not too long after she began to get fidgety.

Looking down on Atollon from space, it really hadn’t changed since the last time they’d been here.  Though the space above was more hectic at the time. The planet looked near untouched from the last time she looked down at its surface, but Sabine knew better than to think that were true.  The Empire surly had torn the entire planet apart looking for any clues as to where they went after Atollon. But once the Empire got everything they could out of it, it had to of been abandon.  Left to rot, forgotten.

Descending into the planet’s atmosphere, she was struck with memories, of the many times they’d come and gone from this place.  The long time that they spent here, how it nearly felt like a home to her. It was bittersweet, not being able to turn her head and see Ezra snoozing, or Kanan meditating.  These wounds of grief had been so long untouched, they all felt raw to her now. Apparently, like the Empire, she’d forgotten this world as well.

“Calm yourself Sabine.”  Ahsoka spoke, eyes opening for the first time since they set off.  “Your emotions are acting in imbalance, and are clouding the Force around you.”

“Wh-Really?”  She spared a glance at her before resuming the landing sequence, Ahsoka nodded slowly.

“Yes, emotions are a raw enacter on the Force around one’s being.  They cloud judgment, distort things around them, and in this case, imbalance the very Force around you.”

“Yeah, there was a reason I left all the Force business to Kanan and Ezra, I’ll admit, it goes right over my head.”  She laughed a bit, steering the ship into space on the abandoned landing platform. “I’ll do my best to, keep my...imbalance in check?”  She didn’t even understand what that meant, the Force out of balance around her? That didn’t make any sense.

“Calm is the key, steel yourself, and do not let your feelings consume you.”

“Got it.”  She stood, slipping on her helmet.  “For now, let go find out why we’re here.”  Ahsoka stood, taking hold of her staff and falling in step behind Sabine.

Walking down the ramp, Sabine felt the nostalgia full force now.  Even with the place abandon and in a state of decay, the familiarity of it really struck her.  One thing that was thankfully still standing however, seemed to be her fence meant to keep the spiders out, at least they wouldn’t be a problem.

“Wow,” she let out a long whistle, distorted slightly through her helmet. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been here.”  Ahsoka stood beside her, scanning the platform slowly.

“Yes, even longer for me.  I was glad to hear of this base’s success, before Thrawn found you here.”  She spoke, smiling softly.

“Lot of hard work, but we made it work.  Yavin was much better though, probably one of my favorite of our hideouts.  A shame we lost that one. I only visited Echo Base once,” she shivered, rubbing her arms, “never again.”  Ahsoka walked closer to the base nodding her head in agreement, Sabine quickly jumped into step beside her.

“This place, I felt it before but now…” She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.  “There is a presence here, an old one.”

“What do you mean?”

“The Force flows differently through this planet, as if there is something here, something that holds the planet together.”

“Like, the entire planet would just, implode without it?”  Sabine didn’t bother to hide her skepticism. Most things about the Force were skeptical at best.

“No, holding the nature together, the planets ecosystem is built around this presence, it’s… different than how I felt it before.  More awake.”

“I really wish you weren’t so cryptic when you talked about this stuff.”

“There’s no other way to describe it.”

“Yeah, well-”

Both of them were silenced, as a blaster bolt shot rang out across the platform, a single shot burning a hole in the ground just before their feet.  It took only a heartbeat for them to jump into action. Splitting off, Sabine dove into a roll, taking cover behind some empty containers off to their right.  Ahsoka, in a few quick strides, pressed herself tightly against an overturned hoverbed on the left. In that time, more shots followed their movements, pinning them to their new locations.

“Who the hell are these guys?!”  Sabine asked, watching Ahsoka from across the platform.  She didn’t answer. No one should be here, why would they, unless they were some criminals who’d taken to using their old base as their new den, wouldn’t be the first time.  But it’s so out of the way, it’s a place to hide away, not to build a base of operations for illegal dealings.

The shots stalled for a moment, and Sabine risked a glance over her container.  She could see the shooter, perched high over the platform. Sliding down her visor, she got a better look them.  It seemed to be an older man, wearing a long black shirt, and white armored pants. A Stormtrooper!

“He’s Imperial!”  Sabine called, gaining Ahsoka’s attention.

“We just want your ship, step aside or we’ll riddle you with enough blaster holes you’ll be a colony for worms!”  The shooter barked, his voice deep and gravely. Ahsoka nodded in acknowledgment, taking a quick glance herself. She tapped her staff twice on the ground at her feet, drawing Sabine’s attention to her.  She parted her robe, pushing it to her sides.

Not waiting for Sabine to react, she revealed herself to their shooter, standing alone in the open.  The shooting paused, just a moment, the shooter probably stunned at the straightforwardness of his target.  Sabine watched him through her scope. He was clearly confused but he bounced back quickly. He lined up the shot, leaning into the rifle, and fired.

Sabine turned her head, catching Ahsoka just moments before she unsheathed her lightsaber.  The bright white wooshed out in the all too familiar sound, and with an easy swipe, deflected the bolt meant for her head.  Glancing back at the shooter, Sabine could see he was visibly rattled, but not enough to run. A torrent of laser fire fell upon Ahsoka, who pulled out her second saber, and in an intricate almost dance like motion, deflected each and every one, sending them harmlessly away.

She was distracting him, drawing his attention enough to give Sabine a cleaner shot.  She took one more glance at Ahsoka, seeing her continue the slash, slash, dodge, with perfect accuracy, and slipped around the other side of the crates.  She needed a closer shot. With him distracted, she was able to dive and roll to the next available cover, a leftover step ladder for boarding starcraft. The yellow metallic rungs rusted from the exposure, but still looked sturdy enough to handle her weight.

Hopping over the side, the metal groaned but held under her boots.  And she scaled to the top, kneeling on the top step, resting her blaster on the railing, aiming for the shooter.  The distance would lower her accuracy of the shot, but he was stationary, so, holding her breath, and setting to stun, she was sure she’d get a clean shot.  Her finger wavered over the trigger, adjusting her aim by millimeters at a time, until it trained on his prone chest. And she fired, the blue ring coursing from her blaster.

The approaching energy caught his attention, making him jump to his feet, but it was too late.  The stun shot hit him square in the chest. His form wobbled from side to side, before it took full effect.  He collapsed, blaster falling from his hand to clatter on the pad below, and his body followed soon after. Sabine flinched, prepared for the body to splat across the ground, only to see his unconscious form freeze mid air.

Ahsoka, lightsabers deactivated in her hands, had one arm held out before her, catching the shooter well before he could impact the ground.  Sabine let out a long sigh, the initial breath from her shot, and felt some of the tension leave her shoulders. He was subdued, but why was he even here to begin with?  A stormtrooper no less. Why would any Imperial be left here, hadn’t they pulled all forces after the Battle of Yavin to regroup against the Rebellion? There was no way Atollon could have still been important to the Empire.  Hopefully their assailant would have answers for him, he better.

“Nice catch!”  Sabine called, hurrying down and across the platform to Ahsoka as she laid the trooper down on the ground.

“Thank you.”  She answered, clipping her sabers back to her belt under her robe, and using the Force, called her staff back to her hand.  Sabine reached onto her own belt, pulling out a pair of binder cuffs and crouching down to bind the man, while also patting him down for extra weapons.

“What do you suppose he is doing here?”  She leaned him up against the wall in a sitting position, and stood next to Ahsoka.

“I am unsure.”  Not the answer Sabine would have liked.

“Do you think it’s why the Force wanted us to come here?”

“Perhaps, perhaps not.  It could be a part of the reason, or it could not be even related.”  Sabine sighed under her helmet.

“I really don’t understand the whole Force appeal.  It gives you half truths and wild bantha chases.” Ahsoka didn’t appear offended by her words, just offered her a warm smile.

“The Force is not something that holds the answers to everything.  It is, as it’s name applies, a Force that pushes and pulls as its will chooses.  Rather than being able to simply tell you the answers to your questions, it helps you to find them yourself.”

“It still sounds a bit overrated if you ask me.”  She’d always felt this way. Despite all the good the Force can do for them, it looks more like a curse or a burden.  It cost Kanan his sight, it cost the Jedi their lives, it cost her Ezra in a way. And while it might be the only way to find him, who’s to say it hasn’t already taken him?  The Force causes as many issues as it can solve, and Sabine wasn’t really sure the payout was really worth it.

“Have you not benefited from the Force in the past?  Seen the gifts it can give. Look at Lothal, without Ezra’s connection to the Force, you all could have been wiped out by the Empire’s forces.”  Sabine felt her ire grow, she wasn’t good at debating, much better at just fighting through conflicts.

“But I’ve also seen first hand it’s disadvantages, it takes as much as it gives!”

“That is the nature of all things.  The Force is both life and death, in balance one cannot exist without the other.

“But-”

“Please!”  The two women flinched, turning to the sound of the new voice, Sabine drawing her blasters, Ahsoka parting her cloak slightly hand poised over her belt.  Three people approached them, hands up in the air. “We surrender! Don’t hurt us!”

“Who are you?”  Sabine demanded, standing in front of Ahsoka.

“Please we were stranded here!”  The three got closer, and they got a good look at the group.  Clearly they were all Imperials, one officer and two more troopers.  The officer, an older female, in her gray tunic missing her belt and rank insignia, but her pants were replaced by more casual civilian wear.  The two troopers, both men, in their black under clothes and mismatched pieces of armor.

“We don’t want to hurt a Jedi!”  The officer said, taking point over the other two.  “We were left here when the Empire moved on, and have been stranded here since.  We just want to return to our homes.” Sabine lowered her blasters, but did not holster them.

“Then why did your guy fire on us?”  The trio looked sheepish.

“We thought you might be smugglers or pirates, we were hoping to take your ship and leave with it.”

“Throw your weapons at your feet!”  The three looked between themselves, Sabine raised her blasters once again as incentive.  Slowly, they all lowered their arms, reaching at their sides or behind their backs and gently placing them on the ground at their feet.  Sabine flicked her own blaster once and they all took a step back, raising their hands passively.

“We-we didn’t know you were Jedi!”  One of the troopers stammered.

“Please don’t kill us…”  The other whimpered.

“Go and sit next to your friend, we have questions for you.”  Sabine pointed with one blaster to the unconscious sniper. The trio nodded and slowly inched to the side, heading for their companion, eyes never leaving Ahsoka.

Taking off her helmet and resting it at her hip, Sabine followed after the Imperials, holstering one blaster, leaving the other lazily in her hand, a reminder.  Once they were all seated, Sabine rested her helmet on a nearby crate, and stood before all four. Ahsoka silently followed, and came to stand just behind her, eyeing the scared Humans.

“It’s just the four of you?”  Sabine asked, eyes scanning each of the now four.  The officer and one trooper wouldn’t meet her eyes, their own downcast.  The other trooper wouldn’t dare take his off of Ahsoka.

“Yes, it’s just us, we were left after the destruction of the Death Star.  All other forces were recalled, and...we were still sifting through records here.”  The officer answered, wringing her hands together nervously. “They left us, thinking that they’d get to return, so I was to crack through the computer, and these three were my protection.”  She looked up just enough to glance at her companions.

“But the Empire, they never came back!”  The trooper on the far right spoke up, finally drawing his eyes from Ahsoka and looking at Sabine  “We waited and waited, but they just left us here to die, no ship no communications, we were lucky enough to have food rations!”

“What do you mean no communications?”  Sabine interrupted. They were still very near Lothal, most communicators should be able to reach at least that far, most likely farther.  Or passing by ships.

“Something blocks all transmissions in and out of this planet.  Once in the atmosphere all coms go dark.”

“We thought it might have been some scrambler left behind by the rebels,” the woman jumped in.  “But I couldn’t find anything of the sort. We have no idea what causes it, but it keeps us from being able to call out to anyone for help.”  Sabine looked down at her wrist com, activating it with drawn up brows. Static met her from the other end, and no matter what frequencies she tried changing it to, the output was the same.  But the static was different than what would come over from jammed communications. She’d never heard this sound before, and they’d never had this issue while on Atollon.

“When did it start?”

“As soon as we first touched down here.  We were dispatched by the Emperor himself to investigate this base, not long after all the rebels were driven from here, and as soon as we got here all the coms went dead.”

“We had to send messengers back and forth by shuttle to our Star Destroyer in orbit.”  One of the troopers supplied. They all seemed to calm down realizing that they weren’t going to be killed suddenly.

“We’ve never had an issue like this the entire time we were on Atollon.”  Sabine said turning to Ahsoka, who appeared deep in thought.

“Yes I recall.”  Her lips down turned, brow furrowing in thought.

“W-Wait, you are the rebels that were here?”  The officer stammered, eyes widening as her entire body tensed up again.  “W...We’re sorry about what happened, we didn’t-I mean we weren’t the ones who took part in that battle!  We swear, only came after!” Sabine really fought off the urge to roll her eyes. These cowards were beginning to get on her nerves.

“Sure, right.” She sighed waving her hand around as if to wave away her concerns.  “Where are all of you from?” That seemed to shock them, each exchanging confused looks with the other.

“I-I lived on Coruscant,”  the officer said.

“I was from Alderaan, but I really only lived in Imperial barracks.”  The one trooper said, and judging by his tone, had no idea about Alderaan’s fate.  Sabine winced, that wouldn’t be a fun conversation.

“Me and Tex there,” the final trooper gestured to the unconscious one, “We’re from Saleucami.”

“Well, that’s definitely not along the way.”  Sabine groaned resting one hand on her hip.

“If you can just take us to the nearest planet, we can just call the Empire to retrieve us.”  The officer chimed in, smiling at them hopefully. Sabine and Ahsoka shared a look. It was time for the hard talks now.

“Alright, I’ve got bad news and...well even worse news for you all.  Try not to panic.” And with that, Sabine dove into the quickest synopsis of the Galactic Civil Wars as possible.  Of the destruction of Jedha, Alderaan, then the Death Star, the years of fighting, the second Death Star, the death of the Emperor and the final Battle of Jakku.  They all three listened intently, never daring to interrupt, just allowing Sabine to finish.

“T-The entire planet, all the people, just...gone?”  The one trooper from Alderaan spoke, softly almost a whisper, watching his own hands shake.

“Yes, I’m sorry.”  Sympathy filled Sabine’s voice, her pity for him very real in her heart.  She’d spoken with Princess Leia of Alderaan in the past, and while she always acted strong and immovable, Sabine could see how much the loss affected her.  He went quiet for a while, Sabine allowing him the courtesy.

“And the entire Empire is just, gone?”  The officer jumped in, tearing her sad eyes from the man.

“Officially and totally dissolved.  The New Republic is in charge now.”

“Then we are war criminals!  Abandoned on this rock for years, just to return to a galaxy where we’ll be imprisoned for following orders?!”  The spike of rage in her had Sabine steadying her blaster in her hand, which now rested at her side. “We did nothing but what the Empire asked of us!  Our government asked us to enlist, we did, our government asked us to do anything and we followed because they are our government, now our government will tell us to go to prison?!”

“There’s always trials, not everyone is just sent to jail.  People who have committed war crimes-”

“And what constitutes as a war crime will be decided by your new ruler!”

“And what, would you have us do with you instead?”  Ahsoka cut in, her level voice somehow slicing through their rising voices.

“I-I…”  The Imperial stammered, mouth opening and closing rapidly.

“The reality of our situation is that you fell on the wrong side if an imminent war, and now it is time to sift through the fallout.”  Ahsoka watched all four of them, her gaze silencing any further dispute.

“'Course we get lectured by the Jedi.  Anyone knows war, it's them.” A trooper scoffed, rolling his eyes.  Ahsoka didn't make any move to correct him, and Sabine was willing to leave that up to her.

“Alright, here's what we'll do.”  Sabine jumped back in. “We'll take you to the nearest system and from there where you go, I don't really care.  We have work to do and we don't need you taking us out of our way. I'm sure you can call someone to pick you up from there.”  She turned her attention to the trooper from Alderaan, who started back at her, eyebrows upturned and a dejected look masking his features.  It took him a second to realize what she wanted before speaking.

“Y-Yeah, I know some people off world...I'll be fine.”  She gave him a nod, and turned back to Ahsoka.

“Was this what the Force wanted from us?  Was this supposed to give us some clarity on where to go next?”

“No, there is something here, something powerful that's clouding the Force around us…”  Ahsoka responded, closing her eyes and screwing her eyebrows together in thought. “I have a feeling, that whatever that is, also is causing jamming of the communications here.”  Sabine chuckled and shook her head.

“If you say so, for now, you're the boss.”  She turned back to their new passengers. “So you can wait a bit longer to get out of here, that ship over there is locked down, it's going nowhere without me.  So just behave yourselves and we'll all get out of here happy.” They didn't appear to enjoy being talked down to, especially the officer but they all nodded. “Alright, how do we go about finding this thing?”  Ahsoka didn't answer right away, she stood there breathing deeply, before slowly opening her eyes.

“Tell me, was there anywhere her that Kanan would spend a lot of time?  Alone usually?” Sabine lowered her brows, head tilting to the side slightly in confusion.

“Uh, yeah sorta.  After he and Ezra came back from Malachor, Kanan would always be in the same spot meditating for a while.  But then he just snapped out of his funk and was acting normal again, well more normal at least.” Ahsoka nodded, turning her head and scanning the horizon.

“Take me there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sabine and Ahsoka intergalactic road trip hasn't gone super far yet, but they are underway! And Sabine gets to see first hand some Force Fuckery, hopefully she'll survive! Thank you all for reading, Kudos-ing and commenting I love you all! <3 Happy Star Wars Day Eve! For anyone who enjoys my writing I have something coming out tomorrow unrelated to Destination Zero so keep your eyes open! <3
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	9. Memories - Ezra - Impact

Swimming into consciousness, Ezra’s every nerve lit aflame in throbbing pain, his head pulsing with each beat of his heart.  Ezra groaned, reaching for his head with his good arm, feeling something wet in his hairline. He was bleeding...fun. As he opened his eyes, he noticed it was a lot brighter than it used to be on the bridge.  That, and the ceiling was crooked.

Faster than he should have, he sat up, gaging his surroundings, feeling his arm drag limply beside him.  If the bridge was a mess before, it was utterly wrecked now. Glass, machinery, chairs, broken and scattered around like a child’s room after a tantrum.  Bodies lay crumpled or thrown over equipment, and Ezra was scared to find out if they were living or dead. Last he remembered, he was near the door, now he was clear across the room in one of the troughs for bridge crew.

Taking quick inventory, he didn’t feel anything broken, bruised most likely, but so far not broken.  Using his good arm, to not put strain on his shoulder wound, he crawled to his feet, looking over the edge of the trough.  He didn’t see anyone else up and around, but light filtered through the windows of the bridge, nothing there obscuring them.  The Purgill were gone!

With renewed energy, Ezra climbed up out of the trough, hurrying to the nearest window on the now slanted floor of the ship.  Obviously, they were no longer in space, but where ever they were now, Ezra didn’t recognize any of it. Green was the first thing he noticed, to his right trees spanning out farther than the horizon that he could see, of moderate height.  Looking like a field of green clouds, the leaves topping them fluffy, much like the pale gray clouds that lay ahead in the blueish purple sky. To the far left, starting where the forest ended, a cleared flatland, yellow and green grass mingled together in its expanse.  Bleeding into bushes of brightly colored flowers and plants. A land seemingly untouched by people, until now.

Groans of pain reached his ears, emanating from behind, back in the destroyed bridge.  Turning on his heel, he scanned over the debris. Nothing moved, the area completely still, bodies, carnage, paused in time as if collectively holding breaths.  The sound came again, deep and guttural, followed by the same gibberish he had heard before the crash.

“Thrawn?”  He called out, frantically looking back and forth for anything blue.  In response, a single hand rose over a mound of metal, the blue fingers clasping at the edge of a metal panel that had broken from the ceiling.  Ezra rushed over, conflicting emotions over the fact he hadn’t died in the crash.

Thrawn was slightly buried in what looked to be a ceiling panel and a chair.  The man still on his back, but now sporting a few good cuts on his head, and some to his chest.  The white jacket of his uniform nearly completely stained crimson. This was bad, he was in bad shape before, but now it was so many times worse.  And now Ezra alone had to get him to the med bay without making the damages worse?

Once he’d pulled off the ceiling panel and pushed away the chair, he looked around the bridge, desperately trying to find the officer from before, Faro.  She lay not too far away, pressed against the front end of the bridge, curled in on herself. Crawling to her side, he deemed her still alive, and no outward bleeding was promising.  Thrawn began speaking again, the gibberish tapering off into gurgles followed by hacking of blood. Ezra was not prepared to handle this.

Back to his side, he turned the man’s head to the side, knowing he probably shouldn’t go moving his neck before knowing what all was wrong, but too few on time for it to matter now.  Blood dribbled from his lips, like a river of red cutting through a blue ocean. Slowly he was breathing again, eyes screwed shut in pain.

“Thrawn, are you there?”  Ezra asked turning his head side to side, trying to see anything else wrong.  Red eyes peeled open, glazed over, but slowly blinking it away enough to focus on him.  “No one else is awake, we crashed, and you are bleeding, like, a lot. What do I do?” He didn’t know enough about how to take care of injured Humans, let alone whatever Thrawn was.  He knew more about a Star Destroyer, but not enough to find the med bay and use it.

“F…”  Thrawn tried speaking, interrupted by body shaking coughs.  “Faro…” Ezra looked over his shoulder where the woman lay.

“She’s alive, but unconscious.”  He looked back at the man, who appeared about ready to pass out again.  “Thrawn! Tell me what to do or you’re going to die here.” The blue man’s head rolled to the side, before coming back, eyes sharper.

“Med bay...level forty-nine…”  He paused, holding back more coughs, which only managed to have his body twitching with the force.  “Retrieve a repulsor stretcher and return…” He took a few deep breaths letting his head fall back against the floor.  Still conscious, but barely holding on.

Surveying the bridge one final time, he located a discarded blaster.  And finding no other movement, hurried out the door. No one met him on the other side, through the holodeck and beyond into the hallway.  He didn’t even know what level the bridge was considered, the best he could hope would be to find a lift and use that- Ezra froze in his stride, hands tightening on his blaster.  Lifts wouldn’t be functional. The only way down would be to climb, which can’t really be done with a repulsor stretcher. This just got a lot harder.

Pushing on, he charged down the hallway, looking at each door as he went.  A lift should be at the end of one of these halls, he could always climb down the shaft and find the med bay that way.  And after that? He’d figure that out when he got there. It didn’t help that all the lights were off, the hallways almost pitch black.  Wishing he had his lightsaber at least, or a helmet like Sabine’s for a light.

But he had this blaster.  Standard E-11 of Stormtroopers.  He looked over his sides, fingering the edges and mapping out any switches to be found.  The safety, how to set for stun. And with a click, a light burst from the scope’s end, illuminating the hallway in a pale beam.  The hallways were no better off than the bridge, lose and dented panels lining the walls and ceilings, a few loose hanging wires, frayed at the edges.  Luckily too high to hit accidentally.

Shining the light back and forth, he scanned the walls and floor.  Ezra found it extremely eerie, a dead Star Destroyer, effectively barren of any personal.  He suppressed a shiver, trekking on further down the next corridor. Everything looked the same when so dimly lit, getting lost wouldn’t be hard to do here.  He wished someone else that actually knew this ship could have been able to go on this mini-mission. But of course, all the hard work lands on his shoulders.

Speaking of, the pain in his left shoulder was beginning to get more and more fierce.  The jostling of the crash having done it no favors. The wound stung and burned all at once, and each step sent new sparks of pain all down his arm.  Maybe he’d get something on it before coming back, the idea of having to climb anything with this arm filling him with dread. But he’s going to have to.  Not even just for Thrawn, if left untreated this wound could become ten time worse.

Turning another corner in a long list of corners, Ezra’s light at the end of the tunnel appeared.  The turbolift, a set of them, stationed right there, as if waiting there for Ezra. A smile stretched across his face.  Picking up his pace, he hurried to the enclosed lift shafts. Without power, the actual lift would be trapped on whatever floor they were last on.  Meaning one of these two would should still be up here. Not only had he taken one up after escaping the Emperor, but Faro and her group had to of used them to come up before the crash.

Letting his blaster clatter to the floor, Ezra approached the turbolifts.  Trying the call, obviously, yielded no response, so he turned his attention to the doors.  He wiggled the fingers of his right hand into the crevice where the doors met, finding little resistance to his prying.  Most likely a safety measure in case one broke down. But he couldn’t do this one handed. Bringing in his left hand, and gritting his teeth at the sting of pain, he managed to pry the doors open, pushing them all the way back.

Inside he was met with the empty shaft of the turbolift.  Searching up and down, the pod was nowhere to be found. He moved to the second lift, prying it open as well, and finding this pod before him.  Empty and unlit but stopped here, locked into place with magnets. Testing the hold with a few taps of his foot, Ezra stepped inside, scanning the side panel to select levels.

It looked like the bridge was considered just the bridge, but the level just below that was labeled fifty-nine.  Meaning Ezra needed to go down eleven more levels and come back just to bring Thrawn there. Groaning and laying his head against the wall, he rolled his eyes, bringing his hand to hold his throbbing shoulder.  He better at least get a thank you or something from the ex-Grand Admiral. His eyes slid closed, taking slow deep breaths, trying to calm himself, reaching out and touching the Force around him. It grounded him, kept him focused and determined.  He could do this. Grabbing the blaster and clipping it to his belt, where it dangled and hit his thigh, he got to work.

The first step was the hardest by far.  Standing over the lift shaft, in one fluid motion he slipped over the edge, catching the edge with both his hands.  The pull on his muscles exploded in a searing pain, Ezra having to bite his lip to keep his scream internal. He took a few seconds, breathing deeply to allow himself to get used to the consistent sharp pains.  Once he felt ready, he descended.

Counting kept him sane as he went.  It took thirty seconds to descend one floor at the pace he set himself at.  Counting down the seconds and the floor numbers helped him keep his mind off the pain.  Each and every time his foot moved down one his shoulder ached and burned with the extra tug.

“Four...Three...Two...One...Fifty-eight...Thirty…”  And like clockwork he continued, further and further down, breath straining as he forced himself through.  Down further and further and further, the metal edges digging groves into the flesh of his fingers. ...Fifty-three… He could feel something warm dripping down his shoulder, his shirt soaking through with it down his side.  He’d pulled open something and was now freely bleeding from his shoulder once more. ...Fifty… The final countdown reinvigorated him, the promise of relief giving him the final burst of energy to get down to the doors of level forty-nine.

Once his feet landed on the lip of the bottom of level forty-nine, he leaned all his weight on the doors and let his arms fall limply to his sides.  Heavy pants painting moisture against the cool metal door, the flow of sensations leaving his arms had him smiling like an idiot. Needing about a minute to recollect himself, and once he felt his breathing calm down, he reached for the doors, prying them open like before.  He stumbled into the new corridor, falling forwards onto his knees once past the turbolift.

“Going back up, is  _ not _ going to be fun.”  He huffed while catching his breath.  Without the constant pressure of climbing straining his arm, it was easier to get back up and get going.  He just hoped that the medbay wasn’t far. He pulled the swinging blaster from his hip, angling the light to scan the new hallway.  Which looked exactly like all the others.

“You think they’d get creative or something, I’d go crazy living on one of things.”  He groaned to himself, looking over the monotone walls that repeated exactly the same over and over.  The only break up being a wall or panel to pass. “Sabine should be let loose on this place, give it some color.”  In an instant, he’d soured his own mood. Thinking of Sabine, of his whole family he’d left behind, it pulled at his heart.  He missed them, while he hadn’t been gone long at all, the distance was so great and the time that he’d most likely be stuck here, amplified his loneliness.

A frown tugged down at his lips, shoulder slumping, feeling the weight of the situation rest upon them.  But, they were safe, his more optimist side perked up. Yes he was alone, but the price of that was they all, and his home, were free from the Empire.  That was worth any price. That’s what Kanan Ahsoka taught him. Self sacrifice for a greater cause. If the cost of saving Lothal, his family, and finishing what his parents started, was himself, he’d think that was more than even.

With his sense of purpose renewed, his stride grew just a half-step larger.  This wasn’t going to be easy, not by a long shot. But it was possible, anything was with the Force at his side.  As long as he believed in it and himself, he could get through any hardship. He knew, Kanan would most likely look over him as well, in his own way.  Joining in the Cosmic Force, he may never see his old master, his other father, again, but he felt Kanan could see him. Maybe even pull a few strings in his favor.  That could even be why Ezra was the only one conscious and, relatively, unharmed after this crash. Maybe not. Yet still, this could be his chance to connect more with the Force around him, for the moment it was the one thing that gave him a leg up on all these Imperials.

Continuing on down a different corridor, and taking another turn, he finally came across something to break up the monotony.  This hallway definitely stood out from all the others. It was long, with occasional windows and only two doors along the walls.  Rushing over to the nearest window and peering in, relief flooded the teen. A room filled with medical beds and equipment lay on the other side.  Smiling brightly, he clipped his blaster to his side, letting it dangle and smack him as he jogged over to the door.

Of course, it was sealed.  But luckily, he also knew these kinds of doors.  Holding his hand out, and reaching further with the Force, he could feel the release mechanism.  Wrap his consciousness around them, and gently coerce then pull. A flick of his hand, and the door slid open for him.

“Repulsor stretcher, repulsor stretcher…”  Ezra whispered to himself while traversing the medbay.  Files, equipment, monitors, all were strewn about on the floor, a cluttered mess he delicately stepped over, around, and through.

The first room didn’t yield anything useful.  It looked more like a clinic maybe, for check ups.  But, a door to the right lead to a second room, this one looking a bit more high tech.  Fewer beds too, but accompanied by curtains to divide them. This had to be for more serious cases.  He scanned the area slowly, taking up his blaster to shine the light across the walls. The far back wall had three bacta tanks, that looked relatively undamaged from here.  Continuing along to the right, more beds, medical carts, a crumpled medical droid and-

“A repulsor stretcher!”  He gasped, pushing through a toppled cart and monitor to get to the stretcher leaned against the wall.  “Come to Ezra!” He pushed some debris out of the way and pulled the hover bed into his arms. It seemed completely undamaged, and fiddling with the switched on the side, it hummed with power.  He released it and watched as it came to rest parallel to the ground, hovering in the air perfectly straight. “Perfect.”

One task down.  But now came figuring out how to get Thrawn down here on that.  He’d have to make his own lift. He moved to push it, only to be reminded of his own problem, the tugging of his muscles sending a new wave of pain through his shoulder.  While here, he should fix himself up first.

Backtracking a bit, he examined one of the upturned medical cart for anything useful.  Some syringes, bandages, scalpels, lasering tools, bacta salv and bacta patches. Those should do.  He grabbed two bacta patches, judging their size against his shoulder. Shucking off his shirt and tossing it carelessly to his side, he tried getting a look at his shoulder.  He could see some burned flesh where the bolt nearly passed all the way through him, the backside wouldn't be any prettier.

To start, he took the bacta salv container, scooping out a bit and rubbed it gently into the wound.  As soon as the cool gel hit his skin, stinging pain erupted across the his arm. He groaned, wincing as he forced himself to continue.  The front stung sure, but the backside, ground zero for the injury, burned. He almost couldn’t finish, having to reach around and prod at an open wound.  Once he felt it thoroughly covered he relaxed both arms, panting heavily through the continued throbs of pain.

Next, before he lost his nerve, he prepped the bacta patches, taking one to the backside of his shoulder, smoothing it over the stinging hole.  With the hard part finished, he put on the second over the front, actually finding it relieving in comparison. But with all the poking and prodding finished, the wound till was alight with pain, throbbing and burning with each beat of his own heart.  He sure can’t climb back up with this pain now.

Pain killers, there’s got to be some laying around here.  Pulling himself to his feet, he inspected the walls, hoping to find a cabinet or something similar.  There were storage containers, holding extra bandages, and bacta, but no medications. He scanned over the medical cart, moving over to the crumpled droid next.  It didn’t look broken, just collapsed, but not moving around any. And on it’s hip, a canister, several really, on each side. He picked at them, reading their intent.

Sedatives, muscle relaxers, painkillers!  Grinning wildly, he pulled the canister from the droid, and twisted it open.  Inside was the goldmine of painkillers. He plucked out two, swallowing them dry, and placed the remaining on his own belt.  Those will come in handy.

Now, he only needed to fashion his own lift and he’d be back on the right track.  Moving back to the repulsor stretcher, and his discarded shirt, he grabbed the article of clothing, slipping it on a lot easier than it was to pull it off.  The painkillers were already starting to set in. The wonders of medicine. With his wound patched up, medication in his veins, shirt in place, he grabbed the repulsor stretcher and moved back to the first room and back out into the hallway.

Thankfully he remembered the way back, so returning took no time at all.  And staring up the lift shaft, along with the renewed energy he felt with the lack of pain pulsing from his shoulder, an idea came to him.  He could just simply raise and lower the lift with the Force, just as long as nothing broke his concentration it should be simple.

Ezra rubbed his hands together, cracking his knuckles and shaking them out.  Then, stepped back into the lift shaft, and jumped up to begin his climb. It was harder to climb up than it was to climb down, but without the nagging pain of his shoulder, it was nearly twice as fast.  Crawling back onto the bridge floor and dusting himself off, Ezra noted how odd it was not to of seen or heard anyone on the ship. It was fully staffed before they left, but not a single soul. He hoped they hadn’t all died in the crash, Imperials or no they were still people.

Shaking the thoughts away, he leaned back over the turbolift shaft, and reached out with the Force, searching for the repulsor stretcher.  Thankfully, it was simple to get his mind around the thing and began tugging it up the shaft with the Force. Once it was at his side, he began leading it through the wreckage to where he left Thrawn.  It was concerning to come back to the bridge and find it all as he left it. No one had moved, nothing has shifted. Anxiety curled deep in his gut at the thought of the bridge now being a tomb. Getting closer, the man remained still, hopefully he was unconscious, and not...dead.  Still, by his side, Ezra leaned down and checked for a pulse. It was there, though extremely weak.

He lowered the settings on the repulsor stretcher, setting it right beside Thrawn.  There was no easy way to go about this, so getting it over swiftly was his best option.  Starting with his torso, Ezra grasped under the man’s arms, and heaved him up and to the side, getting him half on the stretcher.  Jumping over to the other side, he lifted and slid his legs next, and like that Thrawn was on the stretcher. He definitely was heavier than he looked however, but it was done.  Setting the repulsor’s settings to default, the bed lifted upwards and hovered about hip height.

Before leaving, Ezra moved back over to the woman, Faro.  She was still unconscious herself, but seemed in far more stable condition than Thrawn was.  Nonetheless, he moved her from her curled up position against the wall, laying her out flat on the ground, to at least help in some way.  With that done, he turned back to Thrawn and began pushing the man out of the bridge.

It was almost surreal, for Ezra to be in such a position of power over someone who strived for so much control.  For him to be not only the the most fit of anyone at the moment, he also had the best chance of getting them all out of this alive.  This immunity, and being the one personally responsible for keeping Grand Admiral Thrawn of all people alive, it felt odd. Just twenty-four hours ago, Ezra wouldn’t of believed it.

That was his nature though, wasn’t it.  Always putting faith in people who maybe didn’t deserve it.  Ever since Hera and Kanan took him in, he’d been more and more willing to help out others.  Something he barely even thought about before them. He was out for just one person, himself.  But now, he’s given up his own life, for everyone else’s. And he didn’t regret it.

Befriending Hando, he didn’t regret that.  Sure the pirate was, well, exactly that, a pirate.  But he was a decent person, and when push came to shove, could do the right thing.  Maul, that was a different story. He didn’t regret meeting him, he was beyond that now.  While it spelled nothing but problems for them all, it changed him, and Kanan greatly, and without that, he may not of been able to do the things he has the past year.

Thrawn was the newest in that list of people he’s ended up helping, who may not deserve it.  But Ezra can’t just leave him, or anyone, here to die. He put them all in this situation, and he isn’t going to kill them all, or let them die from his own actions.  Not when they’re all helpless and at his mercy. That isn’t who he is. So as long as he holds the power, no one will be dying on his watch. Hopefully, Thrawn can except that, or there’s going to be problems.

Walking back up to the open elevator shaft, Ezra left the stretcher right by the doors, and swung over the side again.  Climbing down with no pain was a simple feat already, if his shoulder healed quickly, he could go up and down several times with ease.  Touching down on level forty-nine, he peered back up at the bridge level. Now the dangerous part.

Lifting Thrawn up down and over shouldn’t be a problem at all.  But one misstep, one distraction, and that’ll be the end of the Grand Admiral.  It was good no one had been around before, no one should just jump on him. He relaxed his body, taking a few deep breaths, clearing his mind of all the clutter, the distractions, the anxiety.  Until he was washed in calm.

Eyes closed, he reached out his hand, taking in a deep breath, and reached out feeling the Force around him respond to his touch.  It was always relaxing, to just feel the Force around him, reminded that it’s always with him, something he didn’t start to truly respect until after Kanan was gone.  Those thoughts were dangerous, he needed to stay focused. Pressing farther, he found Thrawn, manipulating the very Force around him, and commanded it to his wishes.

Lifting the stretcher and the man, slowly maneuvering it into the lift shaft, and slowly pulling it down to him.  Inch by inch, he lowered the stretcher, a light sweat dotting his forehead with the exertion, of holding the heavier man.  But he was managing, so far so good, almost halfway there.

A Flash of red darted across his subconscious, like a scurrying animal.  The sudden appearance had him gasping, his hold faltering, just an instant, before regaining even control.  But the presence lingered, he could feel it, around him, curious. Something he’d never felt before, scared, confused, curious, watching him.  What was watching him through the Force, what was this?

Thrawn had just made it below the halfway point, and Ezra stopped the movement, opening his eyes.  He looked around, up and down the corridor, but there was nothing, no scurrying animals, no confused Imperials, he was alone.  Unless whatever it was didn’t want to be seen, or couldn’t be seen. He needed to hurry, get Thrawn down so he wasn’t in danger of Ezra losing focus.

Further down he had the stretcher move, slightly faster now, while Ezra would take looks over his shoulder.  Nothing appeared in his line of sight, but he could still feel it, waiting nearby, but waiting for what. Could they have crashed on some mysterious Force planet.  A creature here like Bendu? Maybe it caused their crash. It didn’t appear malicious, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t.

The moment Ezra caught Thrawn at the top of the lift doors,n he let out a relieved sigh.  Almost there. About half a meter further down and he was pulling him from the lift shaft, lowering the stretcher until the repulsors reacted with the floor.  Once certain he was secure on the ground, Ezra released his hold, letting out a heavy breath.

The presence around him, bright and prodding, panicked.  It flared up and instantly blew itself out. Almost as if Thrawn’s appearance scared it away.  He looked over the unconscious man, eyebrows crunching together. Why would this, thing, fear a sleeping blue man?  Maybe it knew what Thrawn was. That Thrawn’s people were a threat to it? He didn’t know where Thrawn was from, but he’d sure never heard of or seen someone like him before.  Ezra looked behind him, scanning the expanding darkness for something anything, but he was alone. And that was more terrifying than anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The blue boy in some serious trouble now, wonder if he'll make it through. Thank you for enjoying and supporting! <3
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	10. Chapter Six - Sabine - Ripples in the Force

“This is it.”  Sabine exclaimed, coming to stop just within the thumper fence she herself had helped put together.  Ahsoka stepped forward, standing almost exactly where Kanan used to meditate, and nodded slowly.

“Yes, I can see why.  It’s just far enough to feel the life Force out there.”  She hummed quietly, tilting her head back, as if taking it in.  Sabine couldn’t really see the appeal. Whatever Ahsoka and Kanan feel here, she can’t.  It seemed just like any other spot, and there were better spots to get away and be alone in.  What was special about here?

“Kanan liked something about being here.  More often than not, this is where you’d find him.  It was a while before he started coming back to us.”  She sighed, wrapping her arms around herself. She really did miss him.  It had been so long ago already, but also not long at all. Like just yesterday they had been going to rescue Hera.  She’d come to terms with what happened, but she would never truly get over it, never let him go.

“I feel it.” Ahsoka jolted Sabine from her thoughts.  The Togruta was watching her now, eyes set hard in newfound determination.

“Feel what?”  She moved closer to her, dropping her arms back to her sides.  She felt vulnerable holding herself like that.

“The Force presence, I can feel it.  Out in the wilderness. It’s angry, disturbed.”  Sabine made a face. An angry Force presence didn’t sound like the safest thing to go looking for.

“Okay, and we’re going to go find an angry Force...thing, and what?  Let it kill us?” Ahsoka had the nerve to smile at her.

“Yes.  We will pacify it.”  Pacify it?! Ahsoka couldn’t be serious.  They didn’t exactly have the best track record with angry Force things.  The inquisitors, Vader, Maul, the Emperor. There was no pacifying any of them, what could they possibly do for this new one?!

“Ahsoka, we don’t even know what this thing is!  I don’t think we can actually do anything to calm whatever it is down.  I-Where are you going?!” Ahsoka didn’t even acknowledge her as she strolled past.  Passing over the invisible barrier against the spiders and wandering out into the wilderness.

“Are you coming Sabine?”  She watched the older woman, casually walking into danger as if it were a mid morning stroll.  Cursing internally, Sabine yanked the nearest transmitter from the ground and rushed after her.  Damn Force users. Maybe when they find Ezra, he’ll give it all up so she never has to hear about it ever again.

The walk was long, longer than Sabine would have thought it’d be.  Ahsoka kept saying it was close, that the Force moved more erratically the closer they were.  Whatever that meant. Despite Ahsoka’s calm approach, Sabine did not let her guard down for a second.  Hand on one hip or the other, sometimes both, while constantly checking over her shoulders, for any strange movement.

But everything was quiet.  Nothing out of place, nothing in movement.  They hadn’t even come across any spiders, and she knew the transmitter wasn’t strong enough to keep them that far away.  It was more unnerving than their hovering presence. Maybe they got bored of the base and just stay as far away as possible.  Or maybe the Empire got tired of them and killed every last one. She wouldn’t put it past them. But these creatures didn’t deserve that, no living being did.

“It’s close.”  Ahsoka whispered, turning them to the left slightly.  Sabine let her pass before falling back into step behind her.

“You said that the last five time, I’m starting to not believe you.”

Ahsoka didn’t answer, and another minute passed before she abruptly halted, her back stretching to full height and her entire body stiffening.  Glancing around, Sabine scanned the area for dangers, hands reflexively going for her holsters.

She knew this area.  Somewhere back in her mind it poked at the dwindling embers of memory, and a with few seconds of thought the flames roared to life.  This was where Kanan, Ezra and she had come to train her to use the Darksaber. The divot in the ground, like a large crater that had become their training grounds lay just to their side, still just as they had seen it last.  Not even more overgrown by the large plant life that inhabited this planet.

Now the thoughts burned her at the prodding.  Remembering the emotional roller coaster those days had been.  Remembering Kanan, and Ezra, and how she had lashed out at them despite only ever trying to help them.  They hadn’t understood what she was feeling, but that was no reason to hurt them like how she felt hurt.  Her lips turned downward under her helmet, the empty place in her heart reserved for the two men aching.

“Here.”  Ahsoka hummed, turning and glancing down the incline.  Without even waiting for Sabine, the Force wielder slowly made her way down.  Not having any choice, she hurried after her.

“What do you mean here?”  She asked, looking around as the slid down the slope.  “I know this place, Kanan took us here once when he tried training me to use the Darksaber.”  Ahsoka nodded beside her, using her staff to balance herself once reaching the bottom of the crater.

Sabine took a few steps forward, scanning the area, but nothing appeared abnormal about it.  A little dusty, some rocks scattering the area and those large thick leaves of the plant life.  It certainly didn’t look frequented by anything but the spiders, and even then, it still seemed oddly barren and undisturbed.  Until now she supposed.

“It is here, I can feel it’s turmoil.  Its anger, it’s unrest.” Ahsoka took a deep breath, closing her eyes and blindly walking to the other edge of the area, stopping before a large bushed area and paused.  Sabine trailed after her, a few paces behind.

“And you know how to combat an angry Force presence right?”  Ahsoka chuckled under her breath at her question, giving her a very knowing smile.

“I have plenty of experience yes, but I do not believe we will need that here.”

“Why not?”  Rather than answer, Ahsoka simply took her staff, tapping it twice at her feet, then extending it out before her.  Hovering it over a low lying leaf she tapped the thick plant twice as well and returned the staff to rest at her side.

For a moment, nothing happened, the taps of her staff echoed for a moment, but simply dissolved into the natural sounds of the planet.  But just as quickly as the sound had come and gone, the ground before them began to rumble. Like the groans of an aged man and the growls of a ravage animal, the bushed before them shook and shivered, rising higher and higher before the duo.  Sabine reached for her blasters, drawing them and raised to shoot at whatever was emerging, when Ahsoka’s staff crossed over her. A silent command to yield, and despite her better judgement, Sabine did so.

The thing rose, rocks and dirt falling off the leaves as it shook, coming off like a cloud of debris.  As the growing paused and the creature came to full stature, it began to take shape before her. It was a creature of some sort, the curve of the leaves Ahsoka had tapped looked to be a tail.  She made out two legs and an arm, along what must be the back of the creature. But it was unclear if it had allowed the planet life to grow onto it, or if it simple shared the look as camouflage.  One thing she could tell, it was angry.

It growled low, its head turning slowly around, one small eye trained on Sabine then darting to Ahsoka and narrowing.  It huffed, turning its entire body around on the women, large hulking arms swinging around, hands slamming loudly on the ground, shaking it beneath their feet.  Sabine barely managed to hold her balance, while Ahsoka continued to stand stalk still. The creature’s eyes never left her.

“You creatures.”  It hissed, in a deep, rumbling voice that echoed around in Sabine’s skull, like some higher being.  At a loss she just watched it, ready to move into action if the time came. “Never shall I rest? Is my peace is cursed to be disturbed and ruined by you loud chaotic beings?!”  It’s voice grew, booming much like the clap of thunder. Sabine wanted nothing more than to flinch from the thing, but stood her ground, holding her head high. Ahsoka did much the same.

“And what creatures do you refer?”  Ahsoka asked softly, inclining her head the the hulking beast.

“You small beings who believe you understand the Force and its intricacies.  You insignificant beings who acts like insects pestering the peace in the galaxy and on  _ my _ world!”

“You speak from recent experience.  You speak of the battle of Atollon.”  Unlike the thing before her, who seemed only to rise in its rage, Ahsoka remained perfectly calm, and reserved.  It seemed to startle it as much as it did Sabine. It’s hunched shoulders relaxed slightly and it tilted its head inspecting Ahsoka in earnest now.

“You.  You are different than the ones who came before.  You are not Jedi, nor are you Sith. Yet the Force is strong with you.  It follows you rather than you chasing.” He hummed, some of the sharpness to his tone dissolving.

“I do not walk either path.  I walk my own path, which lies well between them both.  I refuse now to take either side.” That seemed to take the creature aback.  “I am Ahsoka Tano.” She bowed before the creature, a shallow yet respectful gesture.  “What shall I call you?” It seemed to contemplate her words, hands that were once fists in the dirt having relaxed into flat palms.

“I am the Bendu, the One in the Middle.  I too, do not take side in the ongoing imbalance of Ashla and Bogan.  I have yet to meet a being such as you. There is an ancientness to you, as if many lives lived within your mortal being.”  Slowly the tension started leaving his form, but the apprehension remained.

“In some ways, that is true, my existence is a complicated one.  One of the many reasons that lead me to the middle road.” The creature, Bendu, scanned up and down Ahsoka’s form, almost like he was respecting her existence.  Then, he looked back at Sabine, eyes narrowing again.

“But you, I know.  I recognize you from the others from before.  Kanan Jarrus, Jedi Knight, and his apprentice.  You were with them, you helped bring war to my peaceful world.”  Dripping anger laced into his words once more, the growl returning much the same.

Sabine held up her hands, wishing now she’d put away her blasters and took a step back.  She certainly didn’t recognize this thing, neither Kanan nor Ezra ever mentioned it. And she was pretty sure she’d remember a large Force beast on Atollon if she’d seen one.

“Whoa whoa wait!  I don’t know you, I’ve never met you before!”  She defended, looking to Ahsoka, who still appeared perfectly calm.  She still seemed to believe they were perfectly safe then.

“But  _ I _ know you.  You came with the others, to resolve your inner conflicts, much like Kanan Jarrus, Jedi Knight, had done before with his student.” It was clear he must recognize her from the lightsaber training excursion.  To think a being like this existed right here, directly under her nose and she had no idea. It was a terrifying thought.

“Bendu.”  Ahsoka interrupted and further discussion, drawing his attention.  “What has caused you your own turmoil?” Bendu sneered, eyeing Sabine once more.

“My world was once quiet, peaceful, serene.  But when these beings came, I allowed them refuge.  But they brought imbalance, and war to my world. Angered the spiders who have no nature to attack, and brought conflict here where before there was none.  And since, the planet never silenced, always the buzzing of these pesky beings.” He huffed again, actually steam expelling from his nostrils.

“What would you like us to do?”  Something about Ahsoka’s voice was soothing or she was doing something to calm Bendu, because he visibly relaxed when she gained his attention.

“I want my planet returned to me, all you loud chaotic beings gone, never to return.”  Ahsoka smiled up at him.

“Then you are in luck, that is exactly what we came here to do.”  Bendu eyed her suspiciously, Sabine fighting the urge to contradict her words.  They were here for Ezra, not to appease some giant Force creature.

“How so?”  His voice had turned thoughtful.  Having Sabine take a mental sigh of relief, not at all missing the borderline livid snarls.

“There are only few people like us remaining on this planet.  And when we leave, we shall take them with us. Once we are gone, no one should bother your world farther.”  Bendu actually smiled, something small, but deafening in contrast with his previous glares.

“That is a relief, I sense no deceit within you.”  He looked between the two of them. “But that was not your goal when you returned here.  What was your true mission?” It seemed keeping secrets from an all knowing Force being wasn’t exactly possible.  Ahsoka didn’t answer, and in an instant, both gazes were on her.

“Oh!  Um,” she looked between them before focusing on Bendu, “Ezra, Kanan’s apprentice, he went missing six years ago to protect his home world.  We’re trying to find him and Ahsoka said the Force wanted us to come here.” Ahsoka nodded to her in affirmation and Bendu didn’t appear to be on the edge of another outburst.  So she’d consider that an adequate enough description.

“I see, you have come here for the student, and now are cleaning the mess of the teacher.”  With a hum, Bendu nodded his head slowly, a sudden clarity dawning across his face. “I see the journey before you, do you see it as well?”  Already, Sabine was getting tired of the crypticness of all this Force talk. She knew the Force was there, it was important and could help them.  But, honestly, none of it made any real sense. The best description of the scene before her was two wizards talking about an inside joke.

“Yes, I had been hopeful that perhaps our quest was more simple than that.  But I understand the will of the Force.” Ahsoka turned to Sabine, actually looking sympathetic.

“You must finish up the unfinished business of the student, much like laying a spirit to rest.  Only then will the path to him be clear before you.”

“Wait wait, hold up!”  Emboldened she stepped up closer, feeling the heat of frustration rising in her veins.  “We have to clean up all of Ezra’s old messes and  _ then _ the Force will tell us where he is?!  We’d be better off just tracing vectors!”  Honestly that was the truth. Eli Vanto who essentially was heading for the same destination as them, would probably reach it ten times faster than they would, only for the fact he needn't go on some wild bantha chase.

“Sabine, this is about more than just finding Ezra.”  Ahsoka began. “The Force is a mysterious presence in all the Galaxy, and Ezra has managed to touch the Force in a way that no one has in a long time.  The ripples of such a thing are still being felt, so the Force cannot guide us where we need to go until we have laid these waves to rest.”

Laid to rest, ripples in the Force?  Her short patience was running thin as was, and following all this Force nonsense was not in her skill set.  She just wanted to find Ezra and bring him home, and she wanted the most direct path to get there.

“Ripples in the Force, what does that even mean, what Force thing was Ezra touching?”  Bendu actually smiled down at here, amused by her frustrations no doubt. Ahsoka did not look as entertained.  Her lips downturn, eyes clouded.

“The World Between Worlds, that you and he found at the Jedi Temple on Lothal.”

“Yeah, what about it?”  Ahsoka approached her, reaching out from her cloak with her free hand and resting it on her shoulder.

“Ezra manipulated the Force to stop something that had happened.  It imbalanced the Force, clouding it. The only way to clear it is to appease these aspect of his life that were left unfinished.”  She was purposely not saying what it was Ezra did. Sabine could tell now when Ahsoka was being cryptic, and when she was avoiding. And this screamed she was trying to hide something.  She shrugged off the arm, taking a step back, Ahsoka let her go.

“What, did Ezra do?”  Bendu, if possible, smiled even wider.  Loving this little drama show Sabine didn’t want to be a part of.  She just wanted to get to the point. Ahsoka sighed, her shoulders sagging, as if an ancient weight rested upon them.

“He saved me from my fate.  I was meant to die back on Malachor, but using the World Between Worlds, he pulled me from death.”

“He saved you, h-how is that even possible?”  Not knowing what else to do, she looked up at Bendu, then back to Ahsoka.  To stop someone from dying in the past, that should be impossible. Ezra had mentioned there being other portals within the one he’d gone through, but nothing about being able to use them, or save someone from death, if that was possible then-  Sabine’s eyes widened, a hot flash splashing across her skin.

“If Ezra could save you, then why not Kanan?!”  Pity morphed Ahsoka’s features, a look common place in the aftermath of Kanan’s death, and she wanted none of it.

“Sabine-”

“No!  Why, why wouldn’t Ezra save Kanan?!  If he could why wouldn’t he?!” She was yelling now, but could not be bothered to care.  The sting of betrayal clenched at her heart, and screaming felt the only way to get the rage out of her system.

“He tried to, he wanted to.  But had he done that, all of you would have died.  Kanan sacrificed himself so you could live, if Ezra pulled Kanan, it would have disturbed the fabric of the universe.”  Ahsoka, for her credit, remained calm, doing her best to sooth Sabine. It made sense, logically, but that didn’t do much to put her raw emotions at ease.  It hurt, and no words could make that hurt cease. A hole that existed in her heart since Kanan’s sacrifice, and despite the years, in an instant it felt ripped wide open once again.

“I just,” she took a deep breath, exhaling heavily, “need some time to myself.”  Ahsoka straightened up, nodding slowly. “I’m going to head back now, just come when you’re done talking.”

“Of course Sabine.”  Ahsoka watched her move, Bendu as well, both silently observing.  She turned her back to them, stalking back up the slope, not bothering with another look back.  She needed to think.

“Her spirit is just as intense as the last time I observed this Human.”  Bendu hummed, watching the horizon where Sabine had walked off into. Ahsoka felt the need to sigh, but looked up at the being instead and smiled.

“She has always been strong and a bit hard headed.  For as long as I have known her, she’s has struggled with accepting things out of her control.”  Ahsoka agreed. “She had improved in age with maturity, but she is too independent, and unwilling to put her fate and others in someone else’s hands.”

“This journey will take a toll on her.”  Ahsoka nodded, grimacing at the road ahead of them.  “She understands little of the Force, and is not open to it.”  That had always been true. Sabine understood the importance of the Force to the Galaxy at large, but it wasn’t something she would ever be able to understand on scale with her being.  That gap is what leads to misconceptions and sometimes fear of the Force.

“She had grown much, but yes I agree.  With the level of faith she’ll need to place in the Force for which she doesn’t fully understand, I expect more roadblocks to our path.”

“I sense something in your own path as well.”  Bendu hummed, and Ahsoka furrowed her brows up at him.  She could feel no obstruction before her, and no warnings of one in the future.

“What do you mean?”  He smiled, leaning down into her space, voice dropping, rumbling.

“Like the student, you have altered the Force of the Galaxy.  And in response have your own unresolved connection. I sense it ahead of you and I wonder how it may be rested.”  Still she could feel nothing before her, but the murkiness that surround her, which had persisted since first returning to Malachor, had stinted her premonitions.

“Thank you for this warning, I shall be prepared.”  Bendu chuckled, stretching back to his previous height.

“I think not, but you shall be safe.”  Her hand tightened around her staff, feeling of foreboding draping itself across her.  “Now! I believe you promised me my peace.”

“Yes, I have.  We shall leave the planet shortly, taking with us all other Humans.  No one else should bother you.” Bendu sighed, a large smile gracing his features.

“I look forward to finally resting in earnest.  I wish you luck Ahsoka Tano, you walk my own path and for that, you have my respect.”

“Thank you Bendu.”  She gave him a deep bow, which he returned with a nod of his head.  “Enjoy your peace, I apologize for the disruption.” She turned to leave, Bendu stretching loudly before beginning to relax against the earth once more.

“I enjoy some excitement from time to time, but this, was too much for an old soul such as mine.”  Spoken as a half yawn, Ahsoka could tell it would be the last thing said from him in a long while. She smiled knowingly, all too familiar with seeing a bit too much excitement in a lifetime.

But the excitement never really comes to an end.  And honestly, she wouldn’t know what to do with a quiet life.  She tried once, and even then it didn’t last very long. Perhaps that was her curse, a life of action and heroics.  She was starting to sound like C3PO.

Thinking of the old droid brought a sad smile to her lips.  Despite the Droid’s uppity attitude and anxiety, she really did miss him, R2 as well.  Unsurprisingly, all her old friends still pulled at her heart. It was easier with time, especially with the rising threat of the Empire to distract her.  But now in the aftermath, with all things said and done, the tug was still there.

She had heard from other Rebels, upon her return from Malachor, that Obi-Wan had not met his fate at the hands of Order 66.  Rather had laid in hiding, on Tatooine no less. She never got the chance to see him again before his true passing into the Force.  She had felt his transformation into the Cosmic Force, not long after the destruction of Alderaan. That had been an emotional day.

And Anakin, she had felt him, his return and subsequent transition into the Cosmic Force as well.  While it had hurt knowing she wasn’t the one able to draw him back from his own darkness, she was nonetheless overjoyed at his own redemption.  But she missed them dearly, both of them were like fathers to her. Along with Master Plo Koon, but she could feel his Force presence was long gone, and had come to terms with it in her own time.

Her adventures with them had come to an end, and forever will their absence be felt in her heart.  But she was not alone. She had people she counted on, trusted, and people who count on and trust her in return.  True friends of whom felt sincere. Like Ezra, who she promised she would come find. Sabine, who’s capabilities she respected and her heart she honored.  Hera the big hearted, strong willed pilot that could easily rival Anakin. Leia Organa, daughter to Bail, and as she came to learn later, Anakin as well.

She had yet to meet her supposed twin brother, but his reputation precedes him.  Destroyer of the first Death Star, learning the ways of the Jedi from Order 66’s sole survivors.  Defeating Darth Vader and swaying him to kill the Emperor. And of course his name held heavy significance.

The first time she heard the young man called Luke Skywalker, she had to take a double take.  But hearing his feats, she was certain it was true. And hearing other’s describe him, she was almost positive who his mother was.  But after all celebrations were finished after Endor, he’d vanished. Giving just a slight warning to his sister and friends before leaving off on an investigation of anything leftover to do with the Force.

She could respect his determination.  Wishing to continue the legacy of the Jedi, or maybe just trained Force users.  Though, she would have very much liked to meet him. Maybe he’d even want to hear old stories of his father, and teachers.  She would have been happy to tell every story under the sun.

But, she had a mission before her, and he has his own.  Perhaps, by the will of the Force, when both of them have completed their tasks, they may meet.  Her and Ezra combined would have plenty to teach him from what they themselves knew. It was too bad Bendu would not appreciate more guest, he had knowledge beyond them all.  She took one last look behind her from the top of the slope, seeing Bendu fully camouflaged in his spot.

By now, hopefully Sabine had enough of a head start on Ahsoka, that she’d have collected her thoughts before she returns.  For her and the Imperials sake. An angry Mandalorian was never an easy thing to handle. Ahsoka knew this from experience.

She was thoroughly surprised, upon returning to base, to find Sabine not only in better spirits, but conversing with the Imperial Officer.  She noticed Ahsoka as she approached, giving a small embarrassed smile before returning to her conversation. Waking up beside the two, she caught two of the troopers loading crates onto the shuttle.

“Since we’re never coming back here, Tyna here had the troopers start bringing out anything of value.  Rations, weapons, useful tech.” Sabine rattled off, popping her hip out from where she rested her helmet.  The Imperial Officer, Tyna, nodded, still seemingly nervous around Ahsoka.

“That is good, Bendu is content and I have given our word we’ll be gone within the hour.”  Ahsoka responded, smiling between the two women.

“I’ll miss this place, kinda, but the sooner we’re off the sooner we can get on the right path to Ezra.  We have a lot to fix up.” She seemed far more content with the idea of the task before them, though some aversions still lay within her, but she was trying.

“Yes, once we have taken these four, we will be right on track.”

“Then hurry it up boys, I wanna get out of here!”  She called, slipping on her helmet and rushing to take a crate from one of them.  This wouldn’t be the last bump along their way, but at least, it was obvious they wouldn’t be halted long when they arose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah y'all were right it was Bendu, but I mean it wasn't that hard to figure out so I shouldn't be surprised. I hope you all enjoyed that quick burst of Ahsoka POV, and the chapter as a whole! Thank you for reading, kudosing and commenting, love y'all!
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	11. Chapter Seven - Eli - Silence

Heavy beeps bore into his sleep addled mind, rousing Eli from his light slumber.  The jump to Baros wasn’t very long, no more than about three hours, but he decided to make use of the time to catch some rest.  The cot brought with him was small and not very comfortable, but it served its purpose. Groaning, he sat up, rubbing his hand down his face, and across his eyes.

After investigating what he could from here, Eli was going to get a serious night’s sleep before pressing on to the next destination.  No use working himself into the ground. Especially as he was about to take the first steps into uncharted space after this planet, he needed to be at top performance.  Though, Baros was a frontier planet if he’d ever heard of one. Only semi-recently had they made contact with the galaxy beyond their planet.

This would be a new experience for Eli.  From what he’d read about them, they were a very internalized race, which came with isolation from other species.  Eli was far too young to of been around any newly discovered worlds to see how undiscovered species interact with the rest of the galaxy.

Even with Baros, they’d been known about long enough to be more accustomed to outsiders, many of its people leaving the planet and appearing across the galaxy.  Their people were very strong and were valued as laborers or mercenaries. That to be chalked up to the higher gravity of the planet which lead to their intense strength and stamina.

He swung his legs over the edge of the cot, hopping down and thoroughly stretching out his back.  Shaking the stiffness from his muscles he slipped on his shirt and took a deep swig from his canteen.  Trying to remedy the dryness of his tongue, and hopefully become more alert. It partially worked. Being torn from his usually strict schedule from the Ascendency was wreaking havoc on his system.  To have it so ingrained in him for years, it would take more than two weeks to shake him of it.

Wandering back into the cockpit, Eli got his first good look of the planet below.  He’d read that Baros was an arid world subject to many sand and wind storms. But just looking at the dry, light brown colonization of the world, he could have made that deduction himself.

It was actually strange to not see starships in orbit over the planet, such things had become commonplace for most planets in the galaxy.  Perhaps he was just used to seeing planets from the view of such ships, but nonetheless, it was eye opening. To see how peaceful a world could look when the warships were removed.  It was a sight he wished was more possible. But he knew, of what terrors lay just within the Unknown Regions, and what they were capable of.

His time in the Ascendancy, in the Expansionary Defence Fleet, he did exactly what Thrawn had asked him.  Defending both his people, and the galaxy at large from the threats he saw out there. Later to be revealed as the Grysk.  And he did just that, engaging them wherever possible to dissuade them from pressing on into his galaxy.

But that’s all they managed.  Just dissuading them, tuning their eyes onto Chiss ships.  But it wouldn’t last, only so long could they be held back from launching war onto this unsuspecting part of the galaxy.  And it’s never been more vulnerable, while in the middle of a governmental shift. The Grysk probing had slowed down in recent years, but Eli always referred to it as the calm before the storm.  Hopefully he could find Thrawn and return to keep pushing them back before they wise up to the easy prey this New Republic was.

There he went, overthinking things that weren't his immediate objective.  He had work to do, what came later would have to wait until he’d finished what was necessary now.  Double checking the ship’s systems he turned to the small fresher to clean himself up better after his nap.

Within ten minutes, he was clean, dressed, and sitting back in the pilot's chair, taking control of the ship once more.  There were no com towers, or orbital vessels to clear his entry, he was just able to come and go where he pleased. But there was really only one place of interest on the whole planet.  The first foreign settlement made by the first aliens to visit Baros. It had become the hub of trade and commerce for the people of Baros and just general public out near this sector. Nothing large, but in comparison to the smaller settlements scattered around the planet, it was the largest.

Upon entering the atmosphere, Eli could already feel the increased gravity.   For just a moment he over compensated the entry before pulling back to slow his descent.  Oh this was not going to be fun to walk around in. Eli wasn’t out of shape, not by any definition.  Sporting muscles of his own from years of combat training. He was quick to learn the standards of training Thrawn underwent was not exclusive to him.  But he was certain the heaviness would drag on the longer he was on the planet. He’d have to pack light.

The settlement appeared in the distance, a small cluster of thrown up metal buildings and a small offset shipyard, with the most diverse collection of shuttles Eli had ever seen.  Well, time to add one Imperial Lambda class shuttle to the mix. There were about seven larger cargo ships, and six transport shuttles in the bunch, not out of the ordinary he supposed, but the numbers were larger than he’d expect from a settlement of this type.

Choosing an area on the edge of the cluster of ships, he set down his shuttle, beginning the lock down process.  Everything of value, or any information pertaining to the Chiss or his mission were locked under tight encryption.  And would take the best code splicers in the galaxy on a good day to crack it. He couldn’t be too careful.

With all systems green, he double checked his belt, checking his com and blaster at his hip, and slid on his jacket.  The less skin exposed to the dry dusty air the best. Pulling a scarf from within a clothing locker, he wrapped it around his neck, reaching up just to the chin, to be pulled up easily if need be.  And he was ready.

Once the ramp was lowered, he was hit with the dry air like a brick wall.  It rushed into the clean filtered air of his ship, plaguing the clarity, the whipping winds licking at the insides.  Best get this over with then. Strolling down the ramp as casually as could be, he wasted no time in sealing back up his shuttle.  Do his best to keep the sand out.

Obviously, there was no one to meet him, not even anyone wandering around their own ships.  Fine by him, the less of an audience the better. Though, with the paint that covered his ship, he couldn’t easily stay out of the spotlight.  Pulling up his scarf, already feeling the gritty dust in the air irritate his airways, he pushed forward, heading for the nearest building.

Thrawn had always told him, the best place to get information in a new area, was always the bar.  That information proven right on more occasions than he could count. Drink made lips loose and money made loyalties falter.  He wasn’t sure how good Imperial credits would do out here, but they were worth a shot.

Passing between a building barely above the levels of a shack and a tented stall, Eli was on what was the main, and really only, street.  A few people wandered around, filtering in and out of buildings or just leaning against walls, watching. There weren’t a lot of Brubbs, the native species, here, which he supposed as a non-Brubb settlement could be expected, but the distinct lack of any of them was a bit odd.

Glancing up and down the dusty clearing close enough to be called a street, he eyed the different sized metal buildings.  He could see what looked like a scrap shop, a tent advertising ‘fresh’ foods, and to his far right, a larger building with more people scattered around its front.  That must be the bar.

He stuck close to the side, trying to seem as normal as anyone else here could look, walking for the building.  Keeping his ears open as he walked, trying to catch the whiff of conversations as he passed. But everything was near silent.  All around him people either were silent, or whispering in hushed tones to each other. Even in transactions at the shops.

Which, if anything, was the most suspicious.  This planet was known for loud howling winds, the Brubbs themselves were near deaf.  It could be possible they didn’t want to be overheard by that race, but none of them were around.  No, they seemed to fear speaking up, feared the repercussions from someone or something. And judging by how none of them spared him more than a casual glance, it wasn’t because of him.

Clearly, something was odd about this place, but still there was only one way to find out what.  At least now, he knew to be more on guard than before. Subtly, his hand trailed down his hip, double checking his blaster was there, and with a flick of his finger, made sure the safety was off.

The bar, up close, gave off all the vibes of a run down canteen during midday.  Still, it was clearly the most frequented building out of them all, only one showing the same amount of boot tread.  That most likely being some Inn or lodging. A cluster of people sat around outside, just silently resting there. They didn’t even look up at him as he passed, walking through the tarped doorway into the bar.

The inside reflected the dingy look of the outside very well.  Mismatched tables, broken or lack of chairs, the bartender rather than having a full around counter like bigger canteens, but rather an old office desk against the wall where he sat.  Roughly five people were actually inside scattered around the tables, excluding the bartender.

No one spoke, most just looking down at their drinks in silence.  Not a single eye raised to Eli as he entered. Not even the bartender acknowledged him approaching.  A thin film of sand or dust rested over every surface, his boots crunching lightly across the dirt floor of the bar.  A quick glance back, and sure enough he was even leaving light tracks across the ground. Strangely, his boots were the only marks across the center off the floor.  Any other tracks lay around the edges closer to the walls.

He furrowed his brows, a bad feeling rising in the pit of his stomach.  There was a reason no one used the center of the room, despite it being the most direct way to the bartender.  Perhaps it was a way to identify newcomers, but with how quiet and non-curious the people seemed, what would be the aim to know this?

Reaching the desk, Eli lightly rested a hand against the old metal, hearing it creek very slightly under his weight.  But compared to the room’s silence, it was deafening. The bartender finally glanced up, but not enough to look Eli in the eyes.  Not even enough to look at his face. Only high enough to look at Eli’s hand on his desk. At first neither spoke, with how quietly everyone around him conversed, coming out the gate at any tone could be dangerous.  No, he’d let the bartender set the volume.

“You need to leave.”  The man, Eli noted Human, whispered.  Very softly with a gravelly voice, be it from the sand exposure or misuse, that was unclear.  No one here appeared hostile towards him, and Eli had done nothing to antagonize anyone.

“What?”  He replied in the same quiet tone, glancing up to look around him.  No one had moved, no one even watching still.

“You need to leave, before  _ they _ come.”  The man dropped his gaze again, looking back at a mug held loosely in his hands.

“They?  Who’s they?” His hand trailed back to his hip, resting just over the handle of his blaster.  Luckily, with how quiet everything was, the likelihood of anyone sneaking up on him was impossible.

“ _ They _ come,  _ they _ take, and people never return.   _ They _ dislike noise.  If you value your life, you will leave.”

“Who are they?  Imperials? Slavers?  Spice dealers?” Eli leaned closer, but the man shut him out.  His eyes glazed over, lost in his own thoughts, and didn’t react to Eli’s presence any farther.

Straightening up, Eli turned back to the rest of the bar.  Nothing had changed, not a single person had even shifted in their seats.  Everything about this was extremely erie, like the entire population was enslaved or just so in fear of something that currently wasn’t even around.

He took a few steps away from the bartender, trying to scan the faces of the patrons.  But no one exposed their face to him. Why were these people here if there was some threat to their livelihood, there were plenty of ships parked here, why not leave in them?

If he was getting nothing more from this man, he might as well move on.  And get out of an enclosed space. If someone was going to attack, being trapped in a dead end wasn’t the best place to be.  He began back across the room, following his previous tracks, and watching every patron for any sign of movement. But everyone was perfectly still.  He had half a mind to go and move them, to check and see if they were actually real.

Halfway back to the entrance, and all hell broke loose at the drop of a dime.  There was a heavy thump from above them, and in unison, everyone brought their hands tight over their ears.  Eli looked up, trying to find the source, when a mechanical, booming tone rang throughout the bar, bouncing off the metal walls and amplifying with time.

Crying out, Eli’s hands whipped up to his ears, desperately trying to block out the assaulting sound.  But no matter how hard he pressed, digging his fingernails into the flesh around his ears, he couldn’t get the pain to lessen.  The sound boosted suddenly, and Eli’s legs buckled, sending him to the floor, barely held up by his elbows.

He needed his blaster, no doubt this being a method to incapacitate him for an attack.  But he physically was unable to remove his hand. Feeling like if he moved his palm his eardrums would rupture.  Groaning, he tried to use his legs, pushing across the floor, aiming for the doorway. But his boots just scrambled against the ground, and he had to give up.

His fingertips were wet, no doubt he’d drawn blood with his nails digging in around his ears.  But the pain wouldn’t subside. The tone, high in pitch seemed to keep growing in intensity, far beyond Eli’s pain tolerance.  One final spike, and Eli screamed, the sound tearing through his throat violently, but he couldn’t even hear his own scream over the sound.  Then everything went blessedly silent.

He collapsed, face pressed into the dirt, heaving heavily, not caring for the amount of dust being pulled into his lungs.  His throat felt raw, his ears rang and the flesh around them throbbed with each pulse of his heart. He couldn’t hear anything in that moment, the only indication of change was the vibrations in the ground.  Something was approaching.

Slowly opening his eyes he craned his neck to look up from the ground.  He didn’t dare remove his hands from his ears. Someone stood over him, Eli got a very good look at their boots, and looking higher, rugged clothes, and their face.  Human, or maybe just humanoid? Their lips seemed painted, or marked in some way, and smirked down at him. They moved, saying something, but he couldn’t hear anything.

They laughed, stepping back and looking over their shoulder before looking back down at him.  Their hand that dangled at their side moved to their belt. That’s when Eli caught a glance of their blaster.  Despite every part of his body and mind begging him not to, he removed one hand from his ear, scrambling for his own blaster, but it was too late.

The silver end to their blaster whipped up to his eyes, a steady hand on the trigger.  He opened his mouth, unsure if it was to call out, demand something or what, but it was all for nothing.  They fired, a bright blue sizzling from the muzzle, flashing silently in Eli’s vision. And in the next moment, everything had gone dark.

* * *

 

Waking up to a head splitting pain throbbing in his head was never good.  Eli groaned, a hand coming to rub at his forehead, wishing somehow the action would sooth the pounding in his skull.  He wasn’t dead, that was a good sign he figured. Holding his hand up to block out any light, he slowly blinked open his eyes, everything coming back blurry.  Rubbing at his eyelids and blinking a few more times, things started to come into focus.

He was on a cot, a metal one, but a cot nonetheless.  In an extremely small room with a barred door across from him.  A single light hung from the low ceiling, actually very dim. He could also see the wires of the fixture embedded into the ceiling and down into the floor.  The room all dirt and rock other than one wall with the door made of metal.

Fighting the throbbing, Eli sat up, feeling the stiffness in all his muscles.  He had to of been out for a few hours. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, he wasn’t bound.  Doing a quick check of himself, he found his entire belt with his blaster missing, as well as any of his credits.  Though he was at least allotted all of his clothing.

Bringing his hand to his right ear, he snapped his finger a few times, then repeating the process to the other ear.  He wasn't deaf either, so that was lucky. Though his ears were a little sensitive to the sound at the moment. What in the stars was that?  Some sort of sonic sound machine, a very effective one at that. But why, what use was Eli to these people?

He swung his legs over the cot, testing his strength before standing up and approaching the door.  He peered out into the room beyond his cell. There were other cells lined up around his line of vision, more open than not.  But he didn’t see anyone, for now. He tested the width between the bars, seeing just how far he could stick his hand out. Not as much as he would have liked.

He turned back on his cell, there was nothing left in here with him.  The metal cot stuck out from the wall, welded in place it seemed, and that was it.  Other than the light hanging from the ceiling. He eyed the wires trailing down the wall, touching them gently with his fingers.  If the current going through this was high enough, he might be able to overload the circuit, maybe shorting out all the nearby systems, including his cell door.

He wandered back to his cot, wondering if the added height would be enough to get a good grasp on the hanging light.  When the door beeped in affirmation, grabbing his attention. Two individuals ran in, blaster rifles held in their hands, and began shouting in Huttese.  Of course, he didn’t know Huttese, just how to recognize it.

“Basic, Sybisti, Rodese, Cheunh.”  Eli called over them, saying each word in its respective language.  Spending so much time with the Chiss cut down on his tolerance for unnecessary contact.  Better to get right to the point.

“Come, now!”  One of them called in Basic, pointing his blaster at him.  Eli raised his hands in surrender, stepping closer to the duo, seeing them as Zygerrians now.  Oh that wasn’t good, their species were known slavers.

“Where am I, who are you, and where are you taking me?”  He demanded, walking out of his cell after the first Zygerrian, the second trailing behind, blaster following his every move.

“Shut up!”  The one behind him shouted, taking the butt of their blaster to Eli’s back.

“You will do our work until we find someone to buy you, talk too much and we’ll shoot.”  The one in front answered him. Eli bit down a snarky comment, just following after them.

Judging from the wall structures, this seemed to be a mining operation of some sort.  But as they walked, passing crates and some highly illegal devices, it could be a duel operation.  Mining and selling materials on the black market, and spice refining and distribution. Stars, Eli hated Spice.  Fixing his captor with a heavy glare he they continued deeper through the tunnels.

Ahead, he could hear the familiar sound of metal hitting rock.  Looks like he’d be in the mining part of this business. Through another low doorway, he came out into an open space, clusters of people taking tools to the walls.  And over half of them were Brubbs. Looks like he found why there were none in the city.

Of all the people here, slaving away at the minerals in the wall, the most shocking was the child.  One lone girl, beside a Brubb, held a bucket, collecting anything semi precious inside. Every few rocks, she’d haul up the bucket, wobbling over to another part of the wall and starting again.

“A child, how cruel could you possibl-”

“Shut up!”  The man behind him cut him off, slamming the butt of his blaster across Eli’s face, sending him to the ground.  Blood flooded his mouth, the metallic taste making him wince before spitting it out.

“You work, or we kill.  You work well you eat, you act out, we turn on the sound again.”  They hissed down at him, and just at the reminder of the sound assault, he flinched.  One of them lightly kicked at Eli’s boot and pointed across the room to a bin of assorted tools.

“Work!”  And with that, they left, one laughing as they sauntered off.  Fighting the urge to groan, he pulled himself back to his feet, rubbing his hand across the fresh cut in his cheek.  Well, this wasn’t optimal. But he could find a way out of this, unfortunately, saying he’d been in worse wouldn’t work here.

He moved over to the bin, if he did as they said, they’d leave him be, hopefully enough for him to formulate a plan.  He’d need to see more of this place, specifically the exit, first thing if possible. Also, getting to hear from the other prisoners would give him a better grasp on the situation as a whole.

Picking the first ore scrapper he could find, he made his way in line with the others.  Choosing specifically to stand next to the girl with the bucket. He checked over both his shoulders, there were two guards, on at each doorway.  One back the way he came and another that lead to another room, most likely more areas in need of mining.

The girl glanced up at him as he approached her.  Her deep brown eyes widened, like she feared he may cause her harm, and that broke his heart just a bit more.  She was Human, maybe around nine or ten maybe, skin tone just a shade darker than Eli’s own, and unevenly cut hair that reached her shoulders.  Her small hands were covered in blisters, she’d been here for a little while but not long enough for her hands to become used to the work she was doing.

Once at her side, he crouched down, arming the tool to the lower part of the wall.  She seemed scared stiff, hands clutching the handle of her bucket tightly, watching him.  She reminded him of a spooked animal, like she might bolt if he made any sudden moves. At first, Eli didn’t acknowledge her, just went on, working on the wall before him, hoping to lose the attention of any guards watching.

“What is your name?”  He whispered, shifting the tool to another soft section of mineral.  The girl flinched, eyes jumping up to the guards, worried they might charge them just as if they had heard Eli.  But no one moved, and her eyes came back to Eli.

“J...Jessa…”  She whispered, much softer than Eli, looking immediately shy.

“Your name is Jessa?”  She nodded, wide eyes focused on his lips and Eli smiled at her.  “Hello Jessa, my name is Eli. How long have you been here?” She shifted from one foot to the other, glancing back up at one of the guards before hurriedly beginning to scan the ground for more things she was meant to be picking up.

“I...I don’t know.”  She whispered, shaky hands scrambling through the rocks falling from Eli’s device.  “A while? They took me in Spring…” Spring, if she meant Baros’ seasons, which didn’t vary widely in temperature or weather, only slightly and just enough to warrant a change of season.  From the planet’s information, the current revolution put this hemisphere Autumn. Anywhere from four months to six, depending on when she was taken during spring, that wasn’t good.

“Where are your parents?”  She didn’t respond, but glancing back up at Eli, he repeated the question.  Her hands stilled on the pile she was sifting through, her grasp tightening around a sharp edged rock dangerously.  “Hey hey, loosen your grip.” Slowly she did, until the rock fell from her hand. “Are they here?” She shook her head slowly.  “Are they dead?” She flinched, and began to nod. A sick taste rose in the back of Eli’s throat he had to swallow down. “Did they do it?”  Again she nodded, and Eli wanted nothing more than to turn his wrath on every single person involved in this operation.

“Are you talking?!”  One of the guards barked, turning towards Eli and Jessa.  The girl flinched, scrambling away from Eli, falling to the ground searching through the rocks.  “Stupid girl.” He hissed, turning back to the doorway.

Oh, Eli was going to tear this entire place down, piece by piece.  He would be these sick people’s worst nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been really excited about this chapter and subsequent ones, I hope the rest of you are as enthralled with it as I am! I hope y'all are ready!
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	12. Memories - Ezra - Secrets

Having to shake off the odd feeling of the strange Force presence, Ezra went back to his task at hand.  Thrawn. He moved on down the corridor, pushing the repulsor stretcher in front of him. And the closer he got to the med bay, the higher his nerves rose.  He didn’t know anything about Thrawn’s species, or about treating wounds as bad as this. One wrong move and he could easily kill the alien, and make all this hassle for nothing.

Shivering, he bit the inside of his cheek.  A bacta tank couldn’t be too hard to get running, right?  Except there was no power, which was kind of important to the whole process wasn’t it.  His hands tightened around the repulsor stretcher, thoughts running a mile a minute on a solution.  It was the med bay, the most vital area of a ship that needed power at all times right? Maybe it had its own power circuit he could get running, or even an isolated power generator.  He could get a generator running.

The medbay came into view, and he swallowed down his rising anxieties.  Everything was still as he left it, unsurprisingly. Pushing Thrawn through the doorway, he was suddenly very glad the bed hovered, because there was no way he’d easily maneuver a bed through debris like this.  Thrawn hadn’t moved at all through the entire transportation from the bridge down here, meaning he most likely wouldn’t spontaneously wake up to give him clear instructions on what he was supposed to do.

Moving from the first room into the second, he left Thrawn there next to the door and started to explore.  The bacta tanks seemed undamaged up close. No cracks in the glass, the control panels also looking unscratched.  It would be just his luck to go through all this effort to bring Thrawn down here just to accidentally electrocute him with the damned thing.  That would be hard to explain to the remaining crew.

That left a bitter taste in the back of his throat.  There were so many people stationed on a Star Destroyer, and so many destroyed over Lothal, and more probably killed in the crash of this one.  While they were Imperials, and his enemies, they were still people. His time with the rebellion showed him how real some of the people in the Empire were.  Not everyone agreed, some just were left no choice. Like Wedge, Hobbie, even Kallus. Given a chance, they could be very willing to give everything up to take down the Empire.  And he took that chance from everyone in this fleet.

He didn’t feel regret exactly, but he didn’t feel good that was for sure.  They were destroying his home, killing his people, but how many of them deserved to die for that.  And people like that Faro woman, he’d never seen or heard of her before. How many people weren’t there for the destruction of his people, but were during its liberation.  Ezra wasn’t the decider of justice, while none of them were perfectly innocent, were any of them truly evil?

His gaze turned back to Thrawn’s unconscious form at the front of the room.  He’d say if anyone was evil, it was him. But was he? An evil man would have had Ezra killed wouldn’t he?  But he demanded his safety instead. That could easily be self preservation, he was smart after all, and if Ezra got them into this mess, he probably was to only one to get them out.

But, he also put Ezra’s well being before his own, despite clearly being worse off.  Would a truly evil person put his enemy and subordinates before himself? Ezra groaned, turning away from the alien.  He didn’t know anymore. It was a lot easier when he just hated Thrawn and that was it. He was bad, Ezra was good, the Empire was bad, the Rebels were good.  Though the latter still felt very true to him, the Empire just wasn’t filled with only evil people. This was getting confusing.

Governor Pryce, if anyone was truly evil, he’d bet it was her.  He had very few interactions with the woman, but everything screamed she was out only for herself, and would shoot through anyone who stood before her to get what she wanted.  Probably had too. No she was definitely not a good person.

The Emperor, he was truly evil, Ezra could simply feel that through the Force.  The self centered desire for power, he could feel what that man thought of everyone around him.  Everyone else was a pawn to the furtherance to his own power. Even only seeing him through the portal in the world between worlds, and over holo, he could feel the same cold chill that followed Vader.  But that one was frigid. Vader and the Inquisitors, they were evil too, for sure.

So he knew who was evil, which didn’t exactly make him feel any better.  Maybe Thrawn wasn’t truly evil, but he wasn’t good. And Ezra sure wasn’t going to trust or befriend the man.  At most, they’d be tools for the other’s survival. Allies only for as long was necessary. No matter the motive, he wouldn’t excuse what Thrawn did, that, Ezra would need to keep at the front of his mind.  But still, he needed Thrawn to keep the remaining Imperials from going after him.

Bringing back his focus, Ezra tried looking around to see if the bacta tanks maybe had their own power supply.  But of course, because everything had to be hard for him, they did not. Checking up, down, and all around each of the three tanks, all he found were the main power lines leading into the control panel, and an open slot for an outside power supply.  At least that's what he thought it was. He really could use Sabine or Hera on this, stars he’d even take Chopper.

But if that was right, maybe there were power generators stored somewhere nearby for just this purpose.  It was a lot more promising than having to try and string together as many batteries he could fine. Or twiddling his thumbs until Thrawn woke up, or died, whichever came first.

There hadn’t been any power generators in his original searching of these two rooms, he would have noted them if he had.  So if there were any, they’d be stored somewhere, in this room or in a nearby room. Everything Thrawn did seemed organized and very thoroughly planned out.  His ship must be the same way.

He’d checked the cabinet earlier already, so that was a bust.  Scanning the walls through the darkness, there might be a closet against the wall to his right, it was hard to tell through the debris.  Maneuvering, nearly tripping twice on all the stuff on the ground, he scrambled to the wall. Hands slamming against it with a final hop over a toppled IV pole.  A bed lay on its side over the wall, a second cabinet also fallen here. It must of been against this wall before the crash.

Starting there, he grabbed hold of the metal and yanked, trying to pull it from the wall.  It was a good thing he’d taken those painkillers, because even through the blanket of numbness, he could feel the aches the exertion was causing.  Without them this would of been agony. With three rough pulls, he yanked the thing free, able to lift it up and push it away to the side.

Clearing the wall, he got a better look, an sure enough there was a slightly ajar door that had been obscured.  He smiled, rubbing at his shoulder gently. The bed was leagues easier to move than the cabinet. He grabbed hold able to toss it away to the side in one swift motion, clearing most obstructions to this closet.

Obviously the mechanism was damaged, the buttons would do nothing for him.  Much like the elevators, he wrapped his fingers around the door and began tugging it open.  Bit by bit, the metal groaned and squeaked under his pressure, moving out of the way with each pull.

Inside was much a similar mess as everything else.  Fallen over bottles, dented boxes, loose medical supplies.  But at the bottom of the closet, packed in neatly, were his saving grace, two power generators.

“Yes!”  Unable to hold back the exclamation, he nearly jumped for joy with it.  Things felt much lighter laying eyes on the machines. He could work a generator, and getting the bacta tank running was the hardest part of this whole ordeal.

He grabbed at the handles, pulling one of them free.  They were the nicest looking things among all the scattered debris.  Shiny chrome with yellow edges and some fancy looking buttons along its control panel.  It was, of course, heavy, but right now he could care less. Using both hands, he got a solid grip, and hefting upwards, he lifted it above the other scattered supplies on the ground.

It certainly was a little embarrassing the way he had to waddle and hop around with the heavy generator, but Thrawn was unconscious.  No one was around to poke fun at the display. Though, in all honesty, he’d welcome Sabine or Zeb making fun of him, if only to see them smiling at him.

A few more steps and he slammed the heavy thing down beside the middle tank.  It being the easiest to get to with all the debris scattered around. What he wouldn’t give for a nap after all of this.  If he could get the Chiss into the tank, it’d be hours before he’d need to come back out, he could rest then.

Squatting down, he familiarized himself with the makeup of the generator quickly, finding the most important functions, then moving to the tank’s control panel.  Plugging one socket into another and switching on the generator was no difficult feat, and the familiar hum of power sounded like success to him. The actual control panel, that was the trick.

Eyeing the set of unfamiliar buttons and switches, uneasiness crept back up his spine.  Of course nothing was labeled, why make it easy for him. Then again, the only people meant to operate these things were meant to be actual doctors or medical droids.

Throwing caution to the wind, he tried the brightest button on the panel, and the room lit up in blue.  The lights from the base of the tank had switched on, casting the room in the calming shade. That was a start.  He tried the switch next to that button, and the lid of the tank popped off with a lough hiss and a groan.

He hummed to himself, trying a button below the first, seeing the valves connected to the hoses that connected to the tank open.  Nothing came out though. The next switch, next to that button and the familiar hissing of liquid reached his ears. Looking up, sure enough the hoses began to twitch and quickly, blue tinted liquid began to pour into the tank.  Great start then.

He started to pace the tank, double checking for leaks or any other damages, but for now, all seemed intact.  Other than the filling going as slow as possible. Hoping to make it go faster, he tried the first nob, cranking it up all the way.  All that seemed to do was turn the water more blue. More bacta maybe? He turned it back down to how he found it, not sure if someone could be too healed.  What if too much bacta mutated the alien?

His lips quirked with held back laughs imagining throwing in Thrawn and having him come out looking like a Human.  Or what if it gave him laser eyes. Wait. He looked over his shoulder at the man. What if he already had them? His eyes did glow.  No, he’d have used them if he could, right? Maybe Thrawn would look better in sunglasses.

Mutation was probably unlikely.  Not that Ezra actually knew, he’d ever even taken any science classes before, let alone health classes.  He was lucky enough to even know how to read before losing his parents. And a lot of basic schooling lessons weren’t top priority when joining the Ghost crew.  He learned what was necessary on the streets anyway. He didn’t think operating a bacta tank was on a list of studies for basic education.

He knew how they worked at least.  Well, more or less. The bacta sped up cell regeneration or something, and was penetrating enough to speed along the healing process.  The pores in the skin able to absorb the bacta through the water or something along those lines, which is why the person had to be as nude as possible.

That last thought had the teen’s back straightening and head whipping around nearly fast enough to snap it.  He’d have to undress Thrawn. Oh stars no, no, no! He was not going to do that. He’d rather let the man die than do that, it was embarrassing and uncomfortable, and he hated him.  No, Thrawn was just going to have to go in fully clothed, regardless if it stinted his healing time.

Shaking off the shiver of disgust, he turned back to the tank.  The water was almost halfway filled, still moving at a Dokma’s pace.  Might as well tackle the issue of how he was going to get Thrawn in there.  He’d need oxygen, a harness, and a pulley system. Now with the bacta light on he could see more of the immediate area,  It looked like above each tank, all that equipment dangled. He needed them down here though. Something on the panel should control that.

On the far edge, there was a four-way lever, which seemed his best bet.  Grabbing the handle, he pulled down, and sure enough, the collective harness equipment began to lower into the tank.  Bingo. He pushed up, raising it and tried to move it left and right. This was a bit less confusing than he thought. He brought the equipment to the right of the tank, and lowered it down the the ground, watching the harness sway with the minute jiggles to the handle.

So, he just needed to hook all this stuff up to Thrawn, drop him in and let him stew for a while.  Easy enough. Letting the equipment dangle just above the ground he checked the progress of the filling tank.  Just barely over half way. Why couldn’t this part be instantaneous, why drag out the long process of watching it fill bit by bit.  What if someone was in critical condition or something and needed a dunk right away.

Internally sighing he leaned against the panel.  Usually bacta tanks were always filled, ready for the next patient.  But in the crash and loss of power they must have drained. Still, it was inconvenient, and the boredom was growing with each raise of the water.

“What are you doing?!”  A shout rang from behind him.  In an instant, Ezra had his blaster in hand and spun on the intruder, weapon raised.  Whoever spoke wasn’t Thrawn.

“Who’s there?!”  He shouted back, training his light at the open door.  And spotted the same woman from earlier. Faro. She had a blaster, same as Ezra, but her attention had already drawn to Thrawn who rested right next to the entrance.  She reached out, grabbing at his wrist then placing fingers at his neck.

“I was trying to get the bacta tank ready for him.”  Ezra grabbed her attention back, the woman flinching and raising her weapon back on him.

“Oh really now?”  She acted skeptical, but didn’t sound as if she really was.  More like she was just going through the motions of it.

“Yeah really.  What’s it look like?”  He gestured to the filling tank behind him.

“Do you even know how to operate that thing?!”  He rolled his eyes, lowering his blaster. She wasn’t going to shoot him, only threatening him with a bluff.  He could see her intent here, it was Thrawn above all else.

“No, but no one else was around to do it for me.  Be my guest.” He waved his hand around and stepped to the side, offering her the control panel.  Narrowed eyes and blaster followed his movements, but made no move to stop him. She watched him silently for a few seconds, before finally relenting and lowering her blaster.

She hurried forward to the control panel, looking over Ezra's work so far, and quickly flipped a switch, pressed a few buttons and everything kicked into overdrive.  The water output doubled in intensity, speeding up the process immensely, a step rose from the floor, looking to be for easier in and out of the harness, and a soft hiss came from the dangling equipment, most likely the oxygen.  Looked like she knew how to work it. Meaning Ezra could hand off the job and be done with Thrawn’s status.

“You’re welcome, you know I didn’t have to do anything for him!”  He called over to her, crossing his arms over his chest. Her back tensed, and she side eyes him from the panel.

“Except,” she began, “you did, because without his word, every single survivor here would happily blast a hole through your skull.  Do not perceive me an idiot Ezra Bridger, I am far more capable than you may know. You will find that most personnel on this ship is far more efficient than any Imperials you have dealt with in the past.  So I recommend you get out of my hair and let me keep your only protection here alive.”

Her tone was terse, sharp, and final.  The need to object rose up in him. He took down the entire seventh fleet himself, he could take down whoever was left on this ship that tried to kill him.  But he was tired, and she had a point that Thrawn was necessary to his immediate survival.

“Fine, but I expect some kind of acknowledgement for what I did for the Monster that nearly destroyed my world!”  The pair glared, and surprisingly, it was Faro who faltered.

“He’s not…”  She sighed, looking away from the teen.  “You’re going to learn a lot more than you want to know while we are stuck together boy.”  She took a few deep breaths and when she spoke again, her voice had softened. “Thank you. I understand the difficulties you faced, but I and the rest of the crew are grateful for your efforts for him.  He is the best bet for any of us to survive this.”

Ezra didn’t know what to say to that.  An Imperial, thanking him? He’d been half bluffing when demanding a thanks, to actually get it, was surprising.  His arms fell to his sides limply as he stared at the woman. The most crazy part, was she was being completely genuine.  He had nothing to say about it, so he didn’t.

“Okay, do you have this now?  I think I’m going to go lay down.”  She nodded slowly, hand coming to rest over the release for the water.

“Yes, I have the situation from here.  Rest, we will have need of you as well.”  Ezra nodded, and moved to leave. He needed to clear his thoughts, away from these two.  He spared a look at Thrawn’s unconscious form as he passed, and tried to shake his head free.

In the next room, he found one of the stable medical beds, and wasted no time in making himself comfortable.  Which was hard to do with any medical bed, he swore they were made of rock. Nonetheless, the pillow was decent and he was much too tired to mind too terribly.  Laying his blaster at his side, he lay on his back staring at the dark ceiling. He’d get through this, with or without Thrawn, preferably with him, he’d get out and find Sabine.  Or more likely, she’d find him, he knew she would.

Letting his eyes close, he began to clear his mind.  Reaching out with the Force, trying to find his center.  Calm and collected thoughts could be the difference between life and death.  So he’d meditate until slumber took him, and when he woke, he’d tackle head on what else might come at him.

* * *

 

It was hard to tell if you were better or worse off when waking up.  Comparatively, Ezra probably was better now than when he first had fallen asleep.  But with the sore shoulder, aching arms and a throat dryer than Tatooine, he wasn’t so sure.

So, while he was awake, he wasn’t happy about it.  I took only a second for everything to come back to him, the crash the trek to the medbay, Faro.  In that time he managed to turn on his side, immediately regret it with the spike of pain it sent to his shoulder, and instead sat up.

Just as he had left it, the only light in either of the two rooms came from the bacta tank.  He turned to check Faro’s progress, seeing the woman no where in immediate sight, but Thrawn suspended in the blue fluid.  Stripped down but thankfully still in his undergarments.

Ezra hopped off the bed, sighing at the shift and using the light on his blaster to search for a canteen.  Luckily, being the medbay, it was easy to acquire one, and in a single go, the teen downed nearly half of it.  With his thirst currently sated, he wandered back into the second room. There was no way to tell how long he was asleep for, without knowing when he went to sleep, or even having a method to tell the time.

Through the door, he found Faro asleep on the hoverstrecher he’d used for Thrawn, curled up and facing the bacta tank.  It had to of been a couple hours later then. He continued forward, gazing up at the floating blue alien inside the tank.  He didn’t know how bad his outer state had been, other than there was a lot of bleeding, but from here, he cold spot faint pale scars littering across his chest.  So the hadn’t managed to kill him then, and the tank seemed to be working.

Not that the man deserved this.  His anger surged up once more, but fell short of the spitting fire he had felt before.  Thrawn looked vulnerable, probably because he was. Completely at their mercy, or Ezra’s mercy.  Stripped down, body broken, floating around in water with no true way out without their help. The only thing keeping him from drowning being the mask over his mouth.

Ezra’s eyes trailed down to the panel next to him.  If he wanted, with just a simple pressed button, he could cut off that oxygen.  He could take away his lifeline, leaving him to suffocate in his sleep. But he wouldn’t do that, even entertaining the idea was too much.  No, but the power he held was odd. Leaving a tingling in the back of his head. Thrawn who commanded so much, lead so many, was at Ezra’s will now.  Ezra held the most power out of every person here.

Power like this is what drove people like Thrawn, the Emperor, the Inquisitors.  That scared him, something so incidental if used right, could turn him into monsters like them.  That was the lesson though wasn’t it. Of a Jedi. To have power, but not to strive for it. To use it conservatively, if at all, not manipulate it.

He had power over Thrawn, Faro, the entire Chimaera crew.  He’d only use it to keep him, and them alive. That was the way of a Jedi, self sacrifice, helping people, peace, protection.  Whether or not these people deserved his mercy, they had it. Lest he turn into the very thing he and Kanan fought so hard against.

He turned away from Thrawn, striding out of the room feeling a bit more at peace with his place among these people.  Faro had Thrawn’s condition handled, Ezra might as well take a look around. Half because knowing his surroundings and supplies should be a high priority, and because sitting around made him antsy and he needed to move around.

However, the only other places he knew how to get to on this ship were the detention cells, communications room, the bridge, and Thrawn’s office.  He’s already very acquainted with the bridge, and without power the communication room and detention cells wouldn’t have much of anything interesting.  Just more debris. If questioned later, he’d say he turned towards Thrawn’s office for this logical narrowing of choices. But he knew, snooping through there was always a secret wish of his.

Unlike with finding the medbay, getting to Thrawn’s office was a breeze.  One quick climb through the elevator shaft, and a couple familiar turns, and he was there.  A door that looked as ordinary as any other on the ship, usually the only distinction being the trooper that was stationed out front.  He was, unsurprisingly, gone now. But still, Ezra knew this room.

A nudge with the force and the door was open before him, inviting him in to the secrets within.  Unable to hold back a smile, the teen nearly skipped over the threshold, feeling the familiar thrum of excitement ignite in his veins.  The small little hallway was clear much like the corridors he’d come through. Nothing loose to be knocked around or broken.

Three paths lay before him now.  Forward lead into the office he knew, but left and right he didn’t actually know what they were.  He could make assumptions, one had to be a training room of sorts, judging by the droids Kallus had used as a distraction the first time he’d infiltrated this office.  The other, he wasn’t sure, maybe his sleeping quarters, or a refresher. With no better way to choose which to explore first, he fell back to a personal favorite.

“Lothrat, lothcat, lothwolf, run.  Pick a path and all is done.” The familiar phrase, accompanied with his pointing hand made him smile.  Just the reminder of his home making his chest warm. His hand came to rest on ‘done’ on the door to his left.  And not going to question his very fool proof method of choice, he moved for it.

The room was very white, he noticed first.  If fully illuminated, he was sure the room would be too bright.  Just with the light of his blaster however was just fine. This place was very much a mess, like most others on the ship.  This time, however, the floor was littered with different training weapons. Training room found.

He stepped in, scanning the different staffs and similar type weapons at his feet, and investigating the walls they used to sit.  If this was where those droids had come from, Thrawn must not have gotten around to replacing them, Which was unfortunate, they could have been useful.  But speaking of usefulness, a room full of weapons, training or no, was good.

The first thing to garner his interest came in the form of a simple training staff.  Clipping his blaster to his belt, he hefted the pole in his hands. Testing its weight, length, feel in his grip.  He swung it once, then again, spun and stabbed. Yeah this could definitely come in handy. Already the long weapon feeling natural in his grasp.  It was no lightsaber, but he could very easily make do with something like this.

The Force only knew what dangers could lie outside the walls of this Star Destroyer, on this foreign world.  And within them as well. The memory of the force presence resurfacing in his mind. It was so odd, different from anything he’d ever felt before.  It didn’t seem at all malicious or dangerous the two times he’d felt it. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t. It could very easily be something similar to Bendu, or a Force user, or something else all together.  Ezra learned long ago that the Force can always throw you something unexpected at a moments notice. Whatever it was, friend or foe, he’d be prepared to take it on. He spun the staff around himself once more and ending in battle ready stance, just for good measure.

There would surely be other salvageable weapons amongst this ruin, for now he’d keep the staff and come back to these if they were needed.  No need passing them out to people who could easily use them to kill him. Especially if Thrawn didn’t survive all this. Taking the staff with him, the teen came back out into the small hallway.  He turned to Thrawn’s office, neary on autopilot, forcing open the door and surveying the damages there.

Thrawn was not going to be happy.

The office was in shambles.  Everything in disarray, electronics scattered the floor.  Part of the ceiling had come down on the room. The terminal smashed beyond recognition, broken glass covered almost everything from the destroyed holoprojectors.  But that wasn’t what would upset Thrawn. Every piece of artwork, was utterly destroyed. The pieces once displayed on the shelves in the walls lay strewn across the ground, in pieces, some recognizable, some not.  However, even still, the biggest blow, one to Ezra as well, was the retaining wall always held beside Thrawn’s desk. The slab of permacrete toppled over and busted apart.

Ezra made for the toppled wall first and foremost, flinching at the tinks and crunches of glass beneath his boots.  Kneeling, being mindful of anything sharp under him, he began digging through the rubble, pulling out piece by piece, checking to see if any of Sabine’s work was still in tact.

One gray slab after another.  Blank, blank, blank, barren, barren, empty.  Mindlessly, he hucked the inspected pieces behind him, not caring where they landed or what they landed on.  Eyes and mind solely focused on Sabine. One became two became three, and more than once he heard a crash behind him.  Until finally, a splash of color broke the sea of gray.

Like a spark of fire about to ignite, the orange flashed under crumpled bits of the wall.  And Ezra’s hands scrambled for them as if seeking warmth of flame from a blizzard. He pulled a reasonably sized chunk of the wall from it’s destroyed companions.  The slab no bigger than his head, edges jagged from the initial shatter and bits of pebbled still falling off of it. But on the front, what was let of the original image, was the little lothcat that had been to the lowest corner of the mark of Phoenix Squadron.

He ran his hand across what was left of the animal’s face, clearing away any more dust and debris.  Heart panging at the sight that both reminded him of home, and of his family. Only of the lothcat’s head was still visible on this piece, and Ezra caressed the image beneath his finger tips.

If Thrawn had never taken Sabine’s art, it could still be there on Lothal.  Still together in one piece for the now free people to view. Instead of here, lightyears away and in pieces.  It was perfect really, everything Thrawn takes for his own ends up destroyed nearly beyond recognition. It wasn’t fair, none of this seemed fair, but when was life ever really fair, especially to him.  Thrawn deserved well more than what he was getting.

But that train of thought was dangerous.  Jedi did not seek revenge. It was not their way, and wishing ill on someone because of what they’ve done, was the first step to desiring revenge.  No, he wouldn’t give in, never again, to the darkness. Despite how much he’d love to truly teach Thrawn a lesson, he wouldn’t give into those desires.  But if Thrawn ever tried turning on him, he’d be lying if he said he wouldn’t enjoy knocking him back down a peg.

Ezra placed the slab of the lothcat onto Thrawn’s desk and stood from the ground, resolved to keep that piece.  It was a good thing Thrawn had left Hera’s Kalikori on Lothal, if it was lost forever, Ezra might not be able to forgive himself.  At the very least, he was content she got her family heirloom back. Looking back around at the destruction, he really hoped none of the other artwork here was stolen from it’s people.  Now it was all lost.

Ezra moved around the room, sifting through piles, searching for anything else of note.  With the machinery destroyed and the power out, there was no way to access any of Thrawn’s files.  Not that they’d be much use to him anymore. But, as he should have figured, there wasn’t much left around out in the open in Thrawn’s office.  Other than the retaining wall, nothing caught his interest in any way.

Grabbing the lothcat piece, he moved back out into the small hallway.  There was only one room left he hadn’t yet explored. Leaving the stone and his staff by the door so he wouldn’t forget them when he left, he moved onto the final room.  Flicking the door open, he used his blaster’s light to illuminate the room first.

He’d been right, it was Thrawn’s quarters.  A feeling of wrong for encroaching on what must be the most private place for the man rose up in him.  Only to be quickly stamped down by the much more powerful sense of mischief. It felt like trespassing on sacred ground for some reason.  As if Thrawn was a person who deserved his respect, even though it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Not to mention, his quarters were extremely sparse.  There didn’t seem to be anything worth intruding on.

He had a bed, simple, plain, Imperial.  The walls were bare of anything personal, not even his treasured artwork.  There was a door to a fresher in the back corner, a closet, a dresser and bedside table.  And that was it. It looked more like a room waiting someone to move into it than a lived in residence.

With the sparseness, there was little wreckage here.  The bed’s pillows were nowhere near the bed, the covers crumpled but still tightly tucked into the mattress.  The dresser and side table had to be bolted to the floor, as they were still in place. At most, some of the ceiling panels had come loose, and the walls dented slightly.  Trying not to feel disappointed, he moved to the in wall closet. Unsurprisingly, there was nothing interesting in their either. Just a few spare uniforms, most the white of a Grand Admiral.  There seemed to be one olive green one, and some civilian clothes. The most notable thing being some odd looking brown cloak.

Pushing past that he moved onto the next thing.  He pointedly avoided the dresser. No need scaring himself by seeing Thrawn’s underthings.  Nor would there be anything intriguing in the man’s sock drawer. Instead, he moved to the bed, hoping to find anything secret hidden within it.  He checked under the sheet, under the mattress, behind the headboard. But of course there was nothing there either. Thrawn was very quickly shaping up to be the most boring unknown alien there could possibly be.

That left only the bedside table.  But seeing the luck he’s had thus far, Ezra wasn’t hopeful.  Nothing sat on top of the table, other than the built in lamp that protruded from the top.  The first drawer yielded only some boring datacards, seemingly labeled different novels maybe, more likely they were research articles or something.  They didn’t scream anything secret or important to Thrawn. Just something to do before bed he supposed. And with them some common painkillers.

The second drawer was entirely empty, but something about that seemed off.  Pulling it out as far as it would go, he patted around the drawer with his hand.  It looked like it was shallower than it should be. He looked at the outside and sides, then checked the inside again.  In fact, looking for it, it did seem more shallow than it should be. Nearly four centimeters shorter than it was meant to be.

Now that was interesting.  Maybe the blue Grand Admiral did have something worth hiding.  The best explanation for the missing depth would be a false bottom.  It was hard to see anything without the normal overhead lights, so he opted to use his hand once again.  Fingertips grazing around the drawer at the juncture where the bottom met the walls, feeling for anything different.  And he found it. A small divot, where his finger could slip through just barely enough to give purchase enough to pull on the drawer.

Hoping that it wasn’t booby trapped, and he wouldn’t trigger some explosive device, he pulled up on the bottom of the drawer.  The thin piece of metal coming up easily for him, revealing, just as he suspected, a secret compartment.

Ezra was feeling practically giddy as he drove his other hand into the compartment for what Thrawn could possibly be hiding.  To have something hidden like this, it had to be from infiltrators and Imperials alike. Whatever it was, it was important enough to be hidden well.  His fingers hit something immediately. Round and metallic. Fishing it out, he let the false bottom fall back into place with a small pang.

It was a holodisk.  Completely unassuming, nothing in its exterior seemingly different from any other holodisk he’s seen.  Maybe it was a map to some secret location to the alien, or information about his people, or some secret Imperial project that he had stolen information about.  Or maybe Thrawn stole the identity of someone else of his species, and this is all the information on who really is.

All the speculation did not prepare him for what he eventually saw switching on the disk.

It was a Human man.  And that was all. Some Imperial Officer with fluffy hair, a dark complexion, and a wide grin.  And nothing else. It was just the image, the bust of some Human. Ezra had never seen him before, didn’t look like any Imperial he’d seen in the past.  Even if he had, why would Thrawn have a holoimage of this officer in a hidden compartment next to his bed?

He tried seeing if there was anything else on the disk, maybe some encryption, or secret code to get it to display what was the real secret.  But nothing. Thrawn just had a holodisk of some Human at his bedside, hidden away from anyone who could possibly come in search of it. And it completely puzzled Ezra.  He sat himself down on Thrawn’s bed, staring down at the smiling man tinted blue by the holo.

Engrossed in thought, preoccupied with the image, he didn’t hear anyone enter Thrawn’s quarters until they were suddenly before him in the doorway.  Caught red handed, he shot back up off the bed, hand grasping his blaster, the other still holding the holodisk. He raised the weapon, hoping it was still on stun, aiming it at the intruder, only to find Thrawn there in the doorway.

The alien was redressed thankfully, or at least part way.  In an undershirt and his tattered and stained white pants. Arm held in a sling, his head wrapped up in bandages, hair still wet from the bacta.  He looked relatively well for having been quite literally on his deathbed hours before. That, and utterly livid.

The alien charged at him, and hissed, actually hissed at him as he approached.  Ezra was so shocked he just stood there, mouth open and frozen in place. Thrawn’s eyes, if possible, seemed to glow brighter in his fury.  His teeth bared at him like a feral animal.

“What-are you doing?”  He hissed again through his teeth, voice deep and hoarse, but still holding the impact of his words.  He’d never seen the man so actually enraged, and compared to his usual calm composure, it was startling to say the least.

“I...I was just looking around and-” He tried answering, holding up the still activated holodisk in his hand.

That was not the right move.

“Give me that.”  Still seething, Thrawn grabbed for the holo with his good arm, snatching the device from Ezra’s hand violently.

“Hey I-”

“Out.”  He wasn’t screaming, but with how he leveled the volume of his voice was more impacting than if the alien had shouted at him.

“No, tell me who that is!”  He wasn’t exactly in a place to demand things, but he knew Thrawn couldn’t touch him, he needed him.

“Bridger.”  He was nearly growling now.  “Vacate my personal quarters immediately before I make us both regret it.”  That got him moving.

“Alright, fine!”  He bit out, ducking around the man and making for the door.  “Either you tell me, or I’ll find out my own way!” Thrawn didn’t bother to respond, standing stock still where he was by the bed, back stiff, fist clenched tightly around the disk, breathing heavily.  He made no move to stop Ezra from leaving, so he quickly made for his staff and stone and booking it from the enraged man.

In all the interactions he’d seen Thrawn in, never,  _ never _ , had he been that angry.  And set off so quickly, the first sight of Ezra and he went off the handle.  And Thrawn was always so composed. He suppressed a shiver, those red eyes haunting his vision.  Whoever that man was, for Thrawn, he really was worth hiding. And Ezra will be damned if he didn’t find out who that was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Checking back in with the space idiots and Faro's no good very bad day! Looks who's awake and livid! Hope you all enjoyed, I'll see you again Tuesday!
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	13. Chapter Eight - Eli - Jailbreak

After an extremely lengthy day, all the workers were ushered back to their respective cells.  And in that time, Eli had nailed down the structure of this operation. They weren’t workers to be used until the job was done and moved on.  They were to be used until they died. He was given a single small ration at the end of the work shift, which went on for sixteen hours. That, he found out by watching the guard shift rotations, which occurred roughly every four hours.

This meant that most likely this ‘business’ wasn’t a permanent one, and they would simply cycle through workers until discovered or they tapped everything of any use from the entire planet.  The latter seemed far more likely, no one would take note of this planet, and certainly not anyone who might want to do anything about these slavers and spice drivers.

Another thing Eli noticed, was what exactly they were extracting from the rocks.  Mostly some simple minerals, he recognized that went into jewelry, usually thinning out more precious metals.  But, from the glimpses of passing by carts, there was at least one vein of doonium they had stumbled across.

While doonium was highly valued during Eli’s time in the Empire, he’d perused the market numbers after leaving the Ascendency to see it’s no longer as pricey as it used to be.  With the fall of the Empire, and the dissolving of large portions of its remaining military, there was a sudden influx of doonium in the market and no large organization in need of it.  Making the metal as common as any other for the moment. But with the frequency and importance these people were putting on the ore, someone wanted it, badly.

While that was something important that would need looking into, his current situation warranted more thought.  He needed to escape, which on its own would have been simple enough. But he’s not alone down here. There’s people, natives, at least one child.  He could not leave them behind consciously. He could always escape himself and call for backup, such being in the form of Sabine Wren, who he hoped had high enough connections to bring enough aid.

But if he managed to escape, they could all easily uproot and leave, probably kill all their slaves before doing so.  Them being the whole reason he’d be doing anything. That and his own simmering rage at how sick and twisted these beings were.

No, he’d have to find a way to get them all out at the same time, on his own.  Saying it was going to be difficult would be an understatement. Not to mention, his movements were strictly limited, and constantly monitored.  The only thing that gave him a chance was the fact he wasn’t bound in any way. What good it really did for him.

Once shoved back into his own cell, Eli couldn’t do much more than eat his small ration and lay out on the uncomfortable bunk.  He was relatively fit, having been under a strict workout regimen in the Ascendancy so he would be battle ready at a moments notice.  Required of the Expansionary Defense Fleet. Even still, he was trained for combat not grueling labor. And no person should suffer sixteen hours of straight work.  Thus, his muscles were thoroughly sore.

His ears rang softly still, and the silence of the caves making the sound appear amplified.  He’d been exposed to loud sounds in the past, explosions, canons, revving vehicles. But nothing as intense as the sonar weapons these slavers had.  And of course never for such a long period of time. He was trained to withstand torture, but something about this method of attack was so unbearable, and just the threat of it returning was enough to have him break out into a sweat.

Perhaps that is what made the other captives so submissive.  No one seemed to have any plans to try and rise up. It seemed they had numbers on their sides.  But, no doubt, if one guard came under attack, the weapon would be deployed and incapacitate anyone across the caverns.  Even those who weren’t trying to fight. It's a true punish all for the actions of the few system. Maybe that was why they weren’t bound, so the innocent could punish the the troublemakers themselves.

This was a sticky situation if he’s ever seen one.  The presence of prisoners complicating everything. Not to mention the girl, Jessa.  She was so young, family slaughtered before her eyes and thrust into work meant for adults many times her size.  No child belonged down here, and the few interactions with the girl had his mind making comparisons he did  _ not _ want it making.  But the resemblance was uncanny, overlooking the color of her skin and eyes.  He couldn’t disconnect them. He had to get them all out, or die trying.

Thrass was right, he was starting to act like a Chiss.

Lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, his eyes trailed over the cord leading from the light again.  The tendrils of an idea pressing against his mind. Something was here, an idea to grow into a plan. While Eli was clever and quick on his feet, he never could jump to correct conclusions like Thrawn could.  He could come close however.

Thrawn.  He was meant to be searching for the Chiss, to rescue him, and here Eli was the one needing a rescue.  Well, not necessarily needing a rescue, but it would surely be preferable to trying to escape with what could be fifty people.  He should have seen this coming. He could see how things weren’t adding up, but he couldn’t think quick enough to combat it. The silence, the subdued nature of the locals, all of it in hindsight screamed at him.  But he didn’t connect the dots in time.

Would Thrawn have managed that?  To see through it all. He always seemed able to find the truth, even when buried under piles of useless information.  But he wasn’t unstoppable. His current scenario was indication enough of that. Not even clever Thrawn could see every possible outcome.

But he could see through so many.  Part of the reason he was so impressive.  His intelligence was unparalleled, and his dedication unmatched.  His kindness, while hidden behind his Chiss reservation was so very endearing.  That last one, was most likely what lead his small crush to grow and consume his heart.

Spending so much of his life at his side, it was inevitable something bolder than friendship might take hold of him.  At first it was small, something he thought just came from Thrawn’s success. But it didn’t go away. And as time progressed, it got worse and worse.  And now, years without seeing the man, those feelings remained, just as strong as from the day he left.

It was ironic really, he was legally married to the man.  But only by paper. He could be dead, and if not, what hope did Eli have for their relationship to flourish.  Would Thrawn resent him for taking his bond? He wasn’t permitted to rebond. Even under this unorthodox scenario.  He’s effectively stolen Thrawn’s chance at a family. Having the Chiss despise him after all of this, Eli wasn’t sure he could handle that.  Being just friends he could take, he’d spent years only having Thrawn that close. But to be hated, he couldn’t do that.

These were all needless thoughts.  There was no way to know what Thrawn would think or do until he found him.  So wasting time and energy contemplating what if’s over and over was pointless.  Even contemplating Thrawn in this moment was a useless expenditure. When he got out of here, he’d have all the time in the world to think about the man.

Doing his best to convince himself of that fact, he turned over on his ‘bed’.  He’d need all the rest they’d allow him, he was sure it wouldn’t be much. Thankfully, being overworked made it easy to fall asleep.  Even too tired to be plagued by any nightmares that had become commonplace in his life.

Sure enough, he was stirred awake some hours later, not feeling anywhere near rested, to the sounds of shouting at the front of his cell.  The same guard from the day before stood there shouting in Huttese. His friend was nowhere to be seen, meaning they must not of thought he would be hard to subdue.  But, despite knowing Eli couldn’t understand him, he still spoke in Huttese. Either doing so to frustrate the Human, or because he truly didn’t remember him.

He rolled out of his bed, rubbing at his head, feeling the beginnings of a headache beginning to form.  Figures he wouldn’t be given any more food, supposed there really would just be the one meal a day. If the measly portion given would even count as a meal.  However, water should have been more abundant, if they wanted their workers to be strong enough to complete their tasks. Unless they truly had more than enough slaves that them dropping dead regularly wasn’t an issue.

Once at the door, it swooshed open before him, and the Zrgerian gestured with his blaster.  Eli knew better than to argue and began walking. All the while, taking more notes and mapping out the caves.  Thankfully, they weren’t very branching, limiting the amount of places more people and slaves could be hidden. If he was going to do this successfully, he’d need a manifest of sorts of how many slaves were actually down here, before attempting to leave, else he may leave behind someone.

He also began counting the amount of guards they passed, giving them simple nicknames to differentiate them from one another.  Twin, with the twin blasters. Nick, with the nick in his large ears. One Eye, Big Belt, Buff, etc. On the walk from his cell to the same area he worked in the day before, he counted fourteen.  Which wasn’t as bad as it could be, but no doubt there were more in the areas he didn’t have access to. When the guards were rotated out he’d add them to his count.

Back in the room from before, the guard escorting him gave him a shove and left.  There were less people here now than yesterday, perhaps the morning having something to do with that.  He hoped it wasn’t because some had perished in the night. Thankfully, Jessa was still there, scurrying around the legs of the workers, retrieving dropped minerals.  She seemed very tired, these long hours must be hardest on her. Just seeing the poor girl and the resurgence of his protective instincts, he knew if no one but her made it out of here alive, he’d be content.

Grabbing the first tool he came across, he took up place near the girl.  Her big brown eyes lit up once she caught sight of him. Her lips twitched, as if she didn’t know if she should talk or smile, and instead just stared up at him.  He smiled down at her, spurring her to flinch and scurry off back to what she was doing. He hoped she was scared of the slavers and not him, regardless, he was saving that girl no matter what.

Over the next few hours, he worked on his task, all while observing the guards and their movements, and brainstorming plans of escape.  He would have much preferred to examine the rest of the caverns, but that was very improbable. He did note, as he counted off guards, that in their large feline like ears, were earplugs, which made sense.  If they were going to use their weapons at a moments notice, they’d need to be protected.

However, what didn’t make sense, was if they all had their ears plugged to filter out sound, how would they hear the slaves, especially enough to catch them talking softly among each other.  That had Eli stumped, dedicating time to trying to unravel that puzzle. But after the next guard rotation, it hit him. They’re not simply noise concealers, no they were most likely similar to hearing aides.  Amplifies sound around them to pick up too much talking, or even someone trying to sneak up on them. But they must also have a fail safe, for when any sound above a certain decibel played, they would shut down and act as proper plugs.

That had to be the answer, even though he couldn’t test it, it was the most logical device.  Zygerians weren’t known for being able to feel sound waves or other such vibrations. But that was useful information even if he turned out to be partly wrong.  If he could get his hands on a pair, it would mean he could move freely even if the sonic weapons were switched on. Now that helped his brainstorming a great deal.

Roughly half way through their working hours, Eli estimated just over eight hours in, the calm of the workers was interrupted.  It was Jessa, who, Eli had been noting, was becoming very fatigued as the hours ticked on, that accidentally disturbed the peace.  The girl, while hopping over a pile of rocks, tripped herself over, falling flat on her face while knocking over her bucket. The sudden sharp noise had everyone flinch and reach for their ears, the sudden fear that the weapons had been turned on.

That fear suddenly turned to dread as everyone turned to the little girl sprawled on the ground.  She attempted to stand back up, covering her mouth with her scuffed up palms, stifling her weeps. She didn’t seem badly injured, but if there were any open wounds, she would be at risk of infection given the conditions of the cavern and her own undernourishment.

One of the guards that had wheeled on them, fixed the girl with a sharp glare, a fire lighting behind his eyes.  He began stalking over to them, weapon held across his chest, and Eli knew no one would like what happened next. But no one moved.  Without a second thought, he rushed to her, falling to his own knees, moving swiftly and picking up all the things that had fallen from her bucket.  Before the guard could even reach them, he had placed everything back silently, pulled Jessa up and dusted her off quickly.

She looked down at him, eyes swimming with tears, chewing on her bottom lip, doing her absolute best to stay quiet.  Boots came into his peripheral, the guard standing directly beside them, towering over the two. Eli looked up at him, raising his chin but speaking no words.  If he had any rage to be unleashed, he’d take it gladly to spare the girl.

He sneered down at them, just barely suppressing a growl, but not shying away from baring his teeth.  He raised his hand, showing the back hand to them both, Jessa flinching behind him. Eli was impassive, staring right back, expression smooth as stone.

“Quiet!”  He barked, lowering his hand to wrap back around his blaster rifle.  They didn’t respond and the guard turned his back on them, returning to patrol post.

Eli let out a silent sigh, his body relaxing in relief of the averted crisis.  From behind him, tiny hands grabbed his shirt, giving it gentle tugs. Eli turned, seeing Jessa looking far less distressed than she did a few seconds ago.  She gave him a small smile, using her hands to motion around in front of her.

He gazed at her hands confusedly, then back up to her face.  She wasn’t just fidgeting, she was trying to talk to him. She was signing.

She seemed to realize he didn’t understand, and instead mouthed,  _ thank you _ , with a watery smile.  He reached out, wiping the tears from her face, using the sleeve of his shirt to clean off her cheeks.  He took her hands, checking for cuts, thankfully finding none, and tapped lightly at her shins, silently asking if she had any injuries there.  Jessa shook her head negative.

Glancing over his shoulder, Eli made sure they weren't being observed and looked back at Jessa.  He tapped up at his ears, and gestured to her. Thankfully she seemed to understand his inquiry, and shook her head negative again.  Jessa was deaf. It wasn’t apparent from the day before, but looking back now, she only ever focused on his lips. She could read lips, decently well it seemed.

This just seemed to spark more questions.  Why kill a child’s family, the able bodied adults and then take the small child?  Especially if the girl was immune to their main method of ‘conditioning’. Unable to mask his confusion, he moved on, mouthing the words to his next question slowly.

_ “Do they know you cannot hear?” _  She looked over his shoulder, then back to him and shook her head again.  That explained that, she must be good at faking when they would turn on the machines.  Certainly she would be able to feel the vibrations to know when it was turned on. Smart of her to play along.  If they knew they couldn’t incapacitate her like the others, they might have just killed her to spare themselves the trouble.

Before they could get reprimanded for not working, Eli stood, taking Jessa’s hand and her bucket, taking them over to the section of the wall he’d been working at.  Using his body to block most of her from view, he tapped her shoulder to grab her attention.

_ “Relax, sit down and pretend to work.” _  She looked unsure, and glanced around him to the guard.  But she nodded, kneeling on the ground and limply dragging her hands through the debris.  No one started shouting at them, so for the moment it was safe to let Jessa rest.

The rest of that shift went along without further incident.  Jessa had managed to doze off lightly, filtering in and out of waking for the final three and a half hours.  When it came time to return to their cells, he helped her to wake up, and look as if she’d been working the whole time.

Being lead away, down separate corridors, Jessa looked distressed again.  He couldn’t blame her, it seemed he was the only one willing to stand up and protect her.  Not that he could blame the other prisoners either. This was an environment where they needed to fight to survive, and protecting a child made that harder, especially when most of these individuals most likely didn’t have any military background.  Eli knew how to protect himself and others.

Being handed his ration for the night, he waited until his guard turned away, and he halved it.  Eating the smaller portion, the hid the other piece of the meal bar in his pocket. It wasn’t nearly enough food to sustain him and the energy to continue this workload.  But a child would need the food far more than him. Ignoring the growling in the pit of his stomach, Eli forced himself to sleep.

There was one final thing that Eli had found, that worked as the final piece of the puzzle he would need to complete his plan.  All guards had only one key one them. Meaning every lock in the entire mine, were set to the same key. All the cells, even the lift.  If he could get just one key, and one set of ear aides, then he would be set.

Waking up the third morning, a headache splitting at his temples, tongue drier than the dunes of Tatooine, Eli groaned.  But, despite operating below his peak, he felt prepared. He’d had plenty of time to work out his plan the day prior, not much else there to preoccupy his thoughts.  And time was of the essence. As long as the routine of the past two days remained consistent, he should be able to launch his assault come the end of their work shift.

Once settled in with the other prisoners, Jessa found her way to him without needing to be beckoned.  The guards didn’t seem to care she preferred her work near him, which worked well in his favor. He waited about an hour before, drawing her attention to him.  Not needing much coaxing, she turned up to him, watching his lips.

_ “If something happens tonight, you need to hide in your room and wait for me, understand?” _  She seemed confused, and mildly scared.  Her hands held onto the front of her shirt nervously, chewing on her lip.  But, without needing to repeat himself, she nodded slowly.

_ “Okay.” _  And that was that.  She went back to work, clearly more tense than before.  But no one around seemed to notice their exchange, so Eli continued on as if nothing had happened.  He waited some more time, making sure no suspicions were raised before digging into his pocket, pulling the half ration bar.  Slowly, he passed it over Jessa’s shoulder, making the girl flinch in surprise before gazing up at him confused. He raised a finger to his lips and gestured the bar towards her.

The girl’s eyes lit up, small tears springing to her eyes, glazing over the dark brown irises.  She took the offered bar, wasting no time in eating it. The whole thing was gone in three bites.  He placed a gentle hand on her back, giving her a light pat before going back to the wall, not missing how she gazed up at him in pure adoration.

It hurt, actually, to see how easy it was to gain this kind of trust from the girl, just by trying to feed her while she was malnourished.  He’d get them out, he swore it. Get her somewhere safe, where she didn’t have to work, and could eat her belly’s worth everyday. They just needed to get through one more work shift.

As if some force had been looking down on Eli this day, the day transpired normally without incident.  Partly, it seemed that everyone was hyper aware of their movements. Working harder than usual, but moving carefully, mindful to not make any mistakes.  No doubt Jessa’s trip from the day before putting them on edge. Again, giving Eli another lucky break. While not knowing of Eli’s intentions, everyone accidentally doing precisely what he needed from them.

Being lead away at the end of the shift, he caught Jessa looking back at him, worry overtaking her face.  It hurt to cause the girl further distress, but it was necessary she was warned. It would be more distressing if she had no idea of what was to come and just have it sprung on her.

Anticipation laced through his veins, each step back to his cell making the warm feeling grow in his throat.  As if he wanted to scream. On the outside, he tried his best to reflect the look of an overworked, weak man. And judging by his guard’s smug smirk, he was succeeding.

Reaching the room, card waved, door opened and Eli shoved through the opening.  A second later, a ration bar clattered on the ground and the door shut and sealed.  He could hear the guard on the other side, shuffle his feet as he turned around, standing post.  Perfect.

Now, he just needed to wait.

He wanted to make sure everyone was back in their cells before jumping into action.  If anyone was in between and out in the open, it would put them at risk. The safest and easiest way for Eli to get everyone out, would be to let them get sealed up in their cells first.  So, he pocketed his ration bar, sat on his ‘bed’, and waited.

An hour later, hearing nothing stir in the caverns beyond his door, Eli was ready.  Silently, he moved to stand up on the metal slab he called a bed. No sound came from his movements, and he looked up at the low hanging ceiling light.  He had very little time to do what he needed to do before the guards would try and stop him. Everything came down to the next few seconds.

Taking a deep breath, he jumped into action.  Leaping from the bed, he wrapped his arms around the hanging light, his weight and sudden added force did just as he anticipated.  The light came loose from the ceiling, he and it falling back down to the ground. The sudden impact busted the metal casing of the light, bending the mesh and knocking some pieces off.

The sound was deafening in the quiet cavern, meaning no one hadn’t heard that.  The seconds were ticking down, his time extremely limited. In the now darkened room, he patted around the dirt floor until his fingers wrapped around one of the metallic pieces.  The other hand, grabbing the wire of the light, and in a sudden movement, he slashed open the wire, flinching at the sparks that flew out, just missing his flesh.

He heard shouts outside, no doubt drawing attention quickly, and any time now they may switch on the sonic weapon.

Grabbing hold of the exposed wires, he folded them over, trying to connect the input to the output, just right without touching anything, else he electrocute himself.  In the dark, it was impossible to see exactly what he was doing, he could only hope he had them lined up properly and hold. His breath caught in his throat as the next three seconds ticked by, the wire in his hands heating up to near dangerous level.

An explosion rocked the cavern, the sudden boom causing him to flinch and the slight shock wave tussling him.  Two seconds after the explosion, the lights beyond his door shut off, plunging the entire cavern into darkness.  A power surge that blew the generator

Success.

Without power, not only are the cells unlocked, but whatever was powering their weapon was offline.  Meaning the only thing the slavers have on them are blasters. But they had numbers.

The commotion was growing outside his door, rushing footsteps, not towards him, but rather past him.  Did they not realize the crash came from his cell? That, or they were more concerned with getting the power back, meaning the weapon.  His time, again was limited, but now, he had the advantage.

Jumping back to his feet, he made for the door, yanking open the metal, pleased to see it move with minimal effort.  He came face to face with the guard to his cell. He looked shocked to see him, hesitating for a moment. A moment just long enough for Eli to apprehend him.

Shoving the sharp metal shard into the Zygerian’s stomach, both knocking the wind out of him, and forcing him to drop his blaster.  Pulling the metal back, slick with blood, he kneed the man in the face and gave a sharp kick to his chest, knocking him to the ground.  The shard fell for his hand as he scrambled for the fallen blaster. Hefting the rifle into his arms, he aimed for the writhing man’s chest and fired.

Wasting no time, he leaned over the body, searching until he found his keycard, attaching it to his own belt and moving to his ears.  The devices slipped easily from his ear canal, Eli giving the cushion of the device a light squeeze. They looked like they would form to any ear they were inserted into.  Luckily, that seemed to be true, inserting the first device, feeling it expand and mold to his inner ear.

Near immediately, the sound in his ear was completely cut, before coming back in slowly.  Testing it, he snapped his fingers on either side of his head, the sound much crisper and clear in the device ear.  Unable to hold back a proud smile, he placed the second device in the other ear and took off down the cavern.

At first, there was no one in his path, but coming to the first opening, he found two guards there, arguing between themselves, not even noticing Eli.  Raising the blaster, he made off one shot, killing the guard on the left. The second flinched, and raised his blaster but Eli shot him down before he could even raise it fully.

Adding two more sets of devices into his pocket, he grabbed one of the rifles and moved down the next corridor.  The second opening he came into seemed like a block of cells. Unfortunately, at least five guards were standing about in the room, looking on high alert.  One spotted him, shouting out to the others, raising his rifle.

Eli beat him to the punch, getting off two shots before the folly was returned.  He ducked around the corner of the corridor, wincing as the plasma bolts whizzed by his head and pelted the wall across from him.

Mentally cursing himself, Eli lightly tapped his head against the wall.  He was going to get pinned down, and no doubt commotion could draw more back from where he came.  If he didn’t move quickly, he would be overtaken in no time. Putting an end to this escape plan real quick.

He spared a glance around the corner, the three remaining guards had taken cover behind some unused carts, popping up on occasion to let off a shot.  Of course there was no cover from his side he could make a break for. He waited, counting the seconds between when they’d pop up, sensing a faint pattern arising.  They wouldn’t let more than one of them up at a time, and incidentally were going up in the same order. Left, right then middle.

Slowing down his breaths, he watched them go through three more cycles, then peered around, aiming for the middle one, and as soon as his head came into view, he sent off a shot.  He stumbled back, his two friends shouting at him. And just as Eli thought, they both came up to retaliate. He managed another shot off on one of them before going back behind cover.

Down to one.  That was far more manageable.  But the shots had come to a halt.  No doubt he was waiting for Eli to peek his head back out, and get him before he could even move.  Which was a whole new predicament to work around. He could try making a run for it, dive and roll, and get off a shot before he could follow Eli’s moves.  But the likelihood of pulling that off out in the open were too slim.

While his brain worked on planning a way out of this, some commotion from within the room cut off his thoughts.  There was a metallic creek, followed by a slam, and a thump accompanied by the clear sound of air being pushed from someone’s lungs forcefully with an oof.  He flinched at a sudden crunch that sounded an awful lot like bone snapping, followed by another thump.

The room was silent again.  No shuffling, not shots, no shouts.  Eli eased his grip on the blaster and tightened it again, waiting for any sound beyond his cover.  His breath slowed, the faintest intake and exhale of air, waiting.

“Are you hurt?”  A very deep, gravely, slightly reptilian voice called out in the other room.

Eli fought the urge that told him to turn and fire, and instead, slowly peeked back around the corner.  The only person in the opening was a tall Brubb, standing over the body of the final guard. Behind him, a cell door left wide open.  He looked at Eli with what looked like gratitude.

“You did this, yes?”  He asked, raising his thick hand and motioning to the shut off lights above him.

Eli emerged from the corridor, scanning his blaster across the room before approaching the Brubb.

“Yes, I’m going to get you all out of here.”  He answered, reaching into his pocket and handing over two of the devices.  “Use these, they’re working towards getting the power back on, and the first thing they’re gonna do is turn on that weapon.”  The Brubb nodded, putting the devices into his ears.

“I understand.”  He gave Eli an intensely deep bow, going below a common ninety degree.  “Thank you Human, we are grateful of your aid.” Eli waited until he rose back up and gave him a smile and a bow in response.

“I am only doing my duty to protect those who cannot protect themselves.”  He held out the second blaster. “If you could get every prisoner and rally them by the elevator, take any ear devices and weapons you can.  Guard the doors until the power is restored, and begin your escape.” He gave him a nod, and without a word, went about the room to the other cells, freeing the others.

“Wait!”  Eli called just before leaving down the next passageway.  The Brubb and the Rodian he’d just freed turned to look at him.  “Do you know where the child is? Jessa.” Both aliens looked at the other before back at Eli, and shook their heads.  He gave them a weak smile in response. “If you see her, tell her I sent you and take her with you.” They nodded, firm determination clear on their faces.  Satisfied, Eli continued forward.

He was off to a great start.

The rest of his raid went off just as planned.  Moving from corridor to corridor, taking out any guards that stood in his way, and sending more prisoners back to the single elevator.  A group of five had volunteered to join him on his march deeper through the facility. Ending up with Eli, one Human, two Brubbs, a Trandoshan, and a Twi’lek, on a death march.

Their progress had surely made it back to the control room, the guards they encountered growing thinner the closer they got.  No doubt they were in their hiding, laying in wait. And thus far, there had been no sight of Jessa. He tried not to dwell on the fact, the possibility of her being found by the first Brubb very high, but back in his mind, it nagged at him.

Especially coming across the boarded up door to the control room.  All power cables along the walls and floors leading into the singular room.  He ordered his group the begin firing on the door. Without electricity, they couldn’t seal it, but rather would have to board it up with anything on hand.  All six of them barraged the door with blaster fire, the impact and heat making quick work of the door and whatever lay directly behind it.

When the first of them burnt through the metal, return fire sounded immediately.  Without needing an order, they scattered for cover, the increasing onslaught tearing up the dirt from where they had previously stood.  The remaining guards had to be inside, with the fire power intensity coming from the open doorway. Using nearby crates and carts as cover, the firefight fell into full swing.

A shot for a shot, or more accurately, a shot for every three shots.  The hiding Zygerians vastly outnumbering their six. For the most part, they were holding their own.  He noticed one of the Brubbs getting pegged in the shoulder, but with his thicker skin, took the blow with a wince and kept going.  Thankfully, no one else managed to take damage, and while it took time, they finally began to thin the numbers from within the control room.

The guards inside were trapped, only one door in and out, making it easier to bottle neck them directly into their line of fire.  He didn’t have a good look inside, but using the amount of return fire than came down on them, the numbers were dropping.

And after five more minutes, they were clear to charge the room.  One of the Brubbs went in first, a roar tearing through the cavern as he burst through the charred remains of the door, letting off numbers of shots on the remaining guards.  Eli was the second through the door.

He flinched at the carnage before him.  Bodies lie scattered across the floor, blaster burns scarring across them all, but he couldn’t find it in him to feel pity.  They didn’t deserve it. Instead, he turned his gaze on the consoles, looking at the scrambled work they had begun to bring the power back.

They had been close, if they had shown up twenty minutes later, everything might have been back online.  They clearly didn’t know what they were doing, Eli noted. Whatever they were trying to implement was dated and too weak to of lasted long.  If they had finished, and fired up their weapon, no doubt there would have been a second power serge cutting the power again.

Someone had set this all up for them.  Weather that was another group of these same, or someone else who put them up here, was irrelevant to him now.  Once every prisoner was out, he was destroying this place and any trace of that twisted weapon.

He set to work, pulling on the numerous wires the guards had been fiddling with.  It would take a few minutes but he rerouted the power source beginning to get most of the systems back up.  While it had been a while since he personally messed with any electronics, this setup was oddly familiar to what was found out near Chiss Space in the Unknown Regions.  Not the same, but a lot of the wiring practices were very similar. That only made his work easier.

A final twist to the wires and a snap click into place and the room erupted in light.  The familiar hum of electricity coursing throughout the entire cavern. Behind him, a few in his group gave a cheer, as Eli stood from his work.

“Small Human.”  The Brubb who charged the control room called for him.  He turned, seeing the tall alien motioning to one of the storage closets.

“What is it?”  He asked, coming closer, holding his blaster in front of him.

“I have found the child.”  He opened the door, and inside the tiny closet, Jessa sat, huddled in on herself, head hidden in her legs.

“Jessa!”  He fell to his knees, about to grab her but held back.  He didn’t want to give the child a heart attack. Instead, he rested a hand on the ground by her foot, and gave it three light taps.  She felt the vibrations, flinching lightly and slowly looking up. Her brown cheeks covered in tears, some old, some new, her poor nose nearly dripping.  But catching sight of Eli, she fell into more sobs.

She threw her hands around his neck, clinging for dear life, and to her, it actually was.  He brought one arm around to hold her in place, easily raising her up to rest on his hip. She was safe, unhurt, and they had control of the facility.

“Shh,” he hushed, “you’re free.”  She couldn’t hear him, he knew, but if anything, it was a comfort to him.  No matter how hard he fought it, having this girl in his arms, the memories came back to him full force.  Of a girl not too different from this one, who he too had sworn to protect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone announcements: some really big things are happening in my life, which are time consuming, difficult and stressful, so I might have issues getting out updates. If I miss an update, don't panic, there may be a temporary hiatus but I don't think so, hopefully I can still get chapters out, I have two more written that just need proofed, but after that I'm back to having to write them out. I know where this story is heading which should facilitate the writing process, but again, I'm just going through some shit right now. Thank you all for your support, until next time <3
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	14. Memories - Eli - Lost Youth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning 
> 
> Child Death
> 
> I don't want to cause anyone to be distraught, this chapter can be skipped if this is too much for anyone <3

“You cannot refuse to take on a sky-walker.  If you wish to command your own ship, you will adhere to our methods, or you will be sent right back from where you came.”  That’s what Eli was told. What he knew he’d be told when he first began protesting to his new bridge crew.

After being accepted by a hesitant Ascendency, Eli had proven himself just as capable and skilled as Thrawn had detailed in his notes.  And not unlike the Chiss in the Empire, Eli, a Human in Chiss Space, made quick work with promotions in the Expansionary Defense Flee. It did not take long to put most the fears that surrounded him to rest.  If there was one thing the Chiss admired, was a skilled warrior. And Eli could play that part well.

However, once being given place in the fleet, it did not take long for his first complaints to arise.  No, complaints was an understatement. His utter dismay to how Chiss did things. That namely being the ozyly-esehembo, or sky-walkers.  He knew he was going to throttle Thrawn when he came back for neglecting to give Eli this information, among other things he never bothered to tell him.  Knowing that the Chiss employed young children rubbed Eli so wrong he had half a mind to throw away all the work that got him here and begin tearing the Aristocra a new one.

But that would have gotten him nowhere except kicked right out of Chiss space.  So, instead, he bit his tongue, hating seeing children,  _ children _ , working in intense and dangerous conditions, but resolved to do what he could without getting himself kicked out.

As a younger man, after the fall of the Jedi, he always heard stories of how they kidnapped children, brainwashed them, and turned them into slaves for the Jedi.  He saw now, maybe it wasn’t just the Jedi. Third sight or not, it shouldn’t justify child labor. And while he was subdued, he was very open about his distaste of the idea off duty.

And, as he continued to rise in the ranks, the day finally came, where he was awarded command of his own ship.  Nothing too large, but more than enough for a Human in a very cautious region of space. However, along with it came his own sky-walker, which did not sit well with him.

Despite Thrass’ urging for him to leave well enough alone, Eli went straight to the Aristocra himself to demand the withdrawal of a  _ child _ from his bridge.  A child who had no business on the bridge of an Expansionary Defense Fleet ship, in the center of possible danger.  Even Eli was briefed on the threats of being on the frontier of Chiss space. A child should not be subjected to that.

Yet, he was told exactly what he thought he would.  Either give up his title and return to Thrawn with his tail tucked between his legs, having proven every Chiss along the way they were right about him, utterly destroying all he and Thrawn had worked for.  Or, take on the sky-walker, the poor girl who was only here because fate had damned her.

The choice had been a hard one indeed.

Which lead to him, commanding his new bridge, unable to avoid looking at the small Chiss girl, seated beside the chief flight engineer.  She was so small, her legs still too short to reach the floor, and had to hop up to get in her seat. She was a bit younger than the sky-walkers he had worked with before, and smaller than her age group usually was.  But she had a strength in her eyes, no doubt she would grow into a strong warrior one day.

But for now, she was just a skinny little girl, with short hair that brushed her slim shoulders.  Tiviza, the girl had introduced herself with an assured voice that didn’t match her small stature, with an out stretched hand that Eli happily took.  The girl acted like an adult rather than a child, this third sight was effectively robbing her of her childhood, and there wasn’t anything she could do about it.  Already, she had been groomed and trained to act mature and respond well under stress.

That was not fair.  While she, or any Chiss for that matter, may not realize the negative impact this would have mentally on a child, Eli was not going to stand by and watch it happen.  He may not be able to save her from service, but he could do anything else in his power to protect her and lesson the stress of her job.

It started small.  Using his call back to Csilla and some funds, he made his first step to help her.  A small toy, just some doll being sold in the market, of a Chiss woman with long hair meant to be styled.  Returning to his post, he approached Tiviza in her room, gifting her the small toy.

She had looked at it confused, even asking him what it was for.  He swore his heart physically broke, seeing a child unfamiliar with a plaything.  He simply smiled, handing a small brush that came along with the doll and demonstrated.

“It’s a toy.  A doll to play with, take care of, style her, dress her up.  Anything you want! She’s yours to play with.” He had said, handing over the tiny brush.  She mimicked his action, running the brush through the doll’s thin hair.

“How do I style her hair?”  She asked, taking relatively well to running her fingers through the soft strands, caressing the doll’s head.

“Any way you want.  Put it up, braid it, cut it if you want, but you can’t put it back once you’ve cut it shorter.”  Her brows drew together, a shift in her usually blank faced expressions.

“How do I braid?”  That question was sort of a shock.  With how common long hair seemed to be among Chiss, men and women alike, he figured everyone had been taught to braid hair at some point early in life.

This lead to the pair sitting on the floor of Tiviza’s sparse room, Eli showing her different braids, and prodding at her imagination.  Hoping to spark the deeper lying childlike wonder he knew she had somewhere in there. It took some time, but eventually, Tiviza had taken well enough to the doll, playing on her own without needing Eli’s encouragement.  More than once, a small smile quirked her lips. And Eli’s heart swelled.

That’s where it had started.  And admittedly, he might have let it spiral out of control.  Next came more clothing to change the doll into, which she understood easily.  But when he presented her with a second doll, they hit another roadblock.

“What need have I for more than one doll?”  She had asked, staring down at the two dolls, looking between them.

“So you can play with them together.  Change their outfits, have them play with each other.  She needs friends too doesn't she?” His reply came, sparking a concerned look to jump to her features.

“The doll can become lonely?”

“Well, not really, but wouldn’t you feel better to play with a friend?”  He chuckled. She glanced back down at the dolls, shifting their arms to hold the other’s hand.

“Yes, I would.”

And now, she had two dolls and a few outfits for each.  Yet still, the first doll seemed to be her favorite. Occasionally taking the doll with her to report for duty, letting it rest in her lap while she sat.  A few crew members had complained about how professional it was, but he shot them down, with more than a bit of spite.

He was hooked now.  Getting to see Tiviza smile more, actually hearing her giggle as she set up some odd scenario her dolls were engaged in.  It was different from how a Human child would play, but she was having fun, and really, that’s all that mattered. But coming back to her room, and finding the floor scattered with different rubbish in piles vaguely resembling buildings, he kicked it up a notch.

A doll house was a bit harder to get a hold of while on patrol.  But calling some favors into Ar’alani and Thrass, who both seemed intrigued by his plans gladly helped him acquire what he needed.  A medium sized doll house, and some more toys, this time some figures with more opposable parts that resembled different high professions in Chiss society.

This time, instead of confused, she was elated with the new toys.  Greeting Eli with a smile, a small bow and a thank you. She explored the doll house first, enjoying seeing all the different rooms to pose her dolls in, and the new possibilities of fun situations to play them in.  But when it came to the figures she paused.

“These are different Captain Vanto.” She said, picking up one that looked like a fleet admiral and bending his arm.

“These ones are for a different kind of play, you can pose them more, and they’re in a set so you can play with them together.  But they’re your toys, you can play with them however you like.” He gave her a smile, and she grabbed another figure.

“Is there one of a Captain?”

“I think so, they all came in one batch.”  Digging around for a second, he produced one with the same marking as were on Eli’s own uniform.  Tiviza smiled and held it up next to Eli’s face.

“He is you!”

“I don’t think he looks much like me, he is a Chiss after all.”  She looked down at the toy again, but did not seem deterred.

“He is you if you were Chiss.  May I call him Captain Vanto as well?”  That gave him pause. She smiled, looking so pleased, and he couldn’t ignore the soaring of adoration for the little girl he felt knowing she wished to name a toy after him.

“Of course, you can name them whatever you like.”

“This one is Tiviza, like me!” She turned around grabbing her first doll, setting it down next to the Captain.  Then, she began digging around the set until pulling an admiral from the batch. “And this will be Admiral Ar’alani.”  Eli smiled at her, enjoying how pleased she was with naming the new group of toys.

“What of this one?”  He held out a Syndic.

“Mitth’ras’safis!”  His colors weren’t quite right, but who was he to disagree.  And so they went, Tiviza naming each ranking toy with the first Chiss she knew who held the same rank.  By the end, they had an unnamed Admiral, two civilians and another Syndic.

“What about these, you’ve run out of names already?”  He chuckled, holding out the four toys. Tiviza looked at them, contemplating for a few moments.

“I will think up new names.  Captain Vanto, you can name one.”

“Are you sure?  These are your toys after all.”

“Yes, you can name one, but only one!”  He laughed looking down at the remaining toys.  Something about the admiral drew his eyes, the blue skinned man, with tiny red eyes in a black uniform, reminded him of one man in particular.  He held it up, smiling fondly at the toy and handed it over to Tiviza.

“Thrawn.  His name will be Thrawn.”  She took him, eyeing him as a jeweler would study a gem and smiled.

“I think that’s a good name.”  And that was that. She set the toy down beside the Captain, grabbing a few of them and moving over to the dollhouse.  Eli couldn’t stop smiling, or eyeing the newly named Thrawn toy.

But toys weren’t enough.  Some children preferred to play alone, but with Tiviza, she didn’t have the chance or the choice to have a preference.  So when the time came around that they were to dock with another ship for some extended meetings and repairs, he requested the other Captain bring their sky-walker.  An odd request, but thankfully they didn’t question it too much and agreed.

Once through with all the pleasantries, greetings and a short tour of the ship, Eli requested to take the girl with him.  The Captain seemed distracted with something one of the techs was talking about and excused them both. He held out his hand for the girl to hold, which she eyed strangely.

“I am able to walk fine Captain Vanto.” She said, holding her head higher as if he may have insulted her abilities.

“I know, but sometimes it’s nice to hold hands.”  He answered, holding his other hand to Tiviza who took it happily.  They began walking down the hall, the new girl following behind, and he could tell fighting with herself with what to do.  Apparently seeing Tiviza was enough, and she sped up, slipping her tiny hand into his without a word.

Once they made it to Tiviza’s room, he ushered the two girls inside.

“What is all of this?”  The sky-walker asked, looking at the toys lined up around the room.

“Tiviza, “ Eli addressed, “I think you’re going to need to show her how to play.”  The girl smiled at him, rushing and grabbing her favorite doll. And much like when Eli had showed Tiviza, the new girl had the same hesitant reservations that slowly began to break down with encouragement from Tiviza.

From there, it became known that Eli was the best Captain in the fleet, if you asked a sky-walker.  Any time he was near another ship, going to be docked, or heading back to Csilla, there were requests of sending sky-walkers to his ship.  Just a taste of playtime had the other children desperate for more. And while part of it broke his heart, nothing mended it better than seeing all the girls together and having fun.

So that’s how it went.  Eli tried to make Tiviza’s services less needed, limiting their movements as much as possible or making jumps very early in their shift so he could get them through and send her off at more reasonable times.  He would acquire a new toy every trip they took back to Csilla. And spent any free time he had, which was very limited, playing with the girl and telling her stories.

In doing so, he accidentally formed a very close attachment to Tiviza, just suddenly knowing exactly what his mother would always talk about.  How having a child was the best choice she’d ever made, raising Eli through the good and the bad gave her more purpose than her job ever did. He understood it all now.

Tiviza wasn’t his child, but he couldn’t help feeling like they were somehow family.  A father figure for certain, an older brother at the least, and the attachment went both ways, he noted.  She seemed more happy and at ease at his side. More open when with him, and always willing to share.

He was sure, if she asked him for anything, he’d give it to her without question.  Thankfully, he hadn’t managed to spoil her enough to make her greedy. She was a very well behaved girl.  Weather that was due to being a Chiss, her training, or just her personality, he wasn’t sure. But it did help him from overdoing how much he wanted to make the girl smile.  But giving wasn’t just material.

One night, deep into the late shift, Eli was roused from his sleep from an entry request at his door.  The emergency lights weren’t on and no warnings were blaring. Still, for someone to disturb him this late at night, it must have been important.  Making himself as presentable as he could, while still in his nightshirt, and sweatpants, he opened the door.

It was Tiviza.  The small girl looking embarrassed, shy, and a bit scared.  She looked up at him, red eyes meeting his warm browns before they fell away to stare at the floor.  Her doll held securely in her arms, rubbing it’s hand nervously. Something she most certainly must have picked up from him.

“Captain Vanto.”  She finally spoke, her voice so soft compared to her usual confidence.  “I remember you telling stories of Human children. How when they couldn’t sleep, or were scared by bad dreams, they would sleep with their parental figures for comfort.  Would you...would you let me see if it works?” Eli’s heart ached. Seeing the proud girl, beat down by nightmares and seemingly scared to ask for help.

Eli didn’t even answer, he only held out his hand for her to take, which she did gratefully.  With the door closed, he lead her back to the bed, allowing her to crawl up on and under the covers.  Once settled, Eli joined her, leaving some room giving her her own comforts.

“Do you wish to talk about it?”  He asked, pressing a hand into her hair, combing through it slowly.  She was silent, looking down at her doll, the soft glow illuminating the toy’s face.

“I-I am scared.”  She whispered finally.

“Of what?”

“That, I might die here, in space.  I want to see my mother, and I want her to see you.  But, I keep dreaming of an explosion on the bridge. And I die before ever seeing her again.”  Her small voice cracked at the end of her sentence, and in the following silence, a few sniffles.

“That’s not going to happen Tiviza.  Not while I’m around. I promise you, I won’t let anything happen to you.  You’ll finish your service, and get to go home where you belong. And on that day, I’ll go back with you and gladly meet all of your family.”

“You mean that?”  She was openly beginning to weep, her tiny hands trying to rub at her cheeks.  Eli lightly battered them away, using his thumb to brush the tears off.

“It is a promise.  And you can take all your toys with you, play with your siblings, and live a safe and happy life.  I can see it now. You’ll probably get bored without having boring buttons to press all day.” She giggled, burying her face in the hair of her doll.

“I trust you Captain Vanto.”

“You can call me Eli.”  His suggestion came out of nowhere, just slipped out without him even thinking about it, but he knew he meant it.  “On and off duty, if you like.” Tiviza raised her head, looking up at him with her tear filled eyes. And without a word, she shot over, burying her face in his chest, her doll squished between her and his stomach.

Tears soaked up his shirt, and her small hands clung tightly to the material, silent sobs wracking her body.  He wrapped his arms around her, shushing her quietly and rubbing small circles on her back.

It was in that moment, that Eli would do absolutely anything he possibly could to protect this girl.  He would see her off back to her home, he had to. He didn’t think he could take this stab in his chest at seeing her in pain any more than he already was.  He would protect her, as her father in everything but name.

No more words were spoken that night.  Slowly, what tears the girl had were shed and dried up.  From there, she drifted off to sleep, finally relaxing in Eli’s hold.  But Eli couldn’t even think of sleep.

Chiss did not show vulnerability to anyone unless there was a deep undying loyalty and unbreakable trust between the individuals.  This personality existing in the children of the Chiss as well. To reveal this part of herself, took a lot for Tiviza to do, and Eli was not going to overlook what the gesture meant.

She indirectly proposed her loyalties to him, beyond service, but as people.  As well as her trust. A gift not lightly given. So he’d hold it, close to his heart, and cherish it as the priceless rarity it was.  If she trusted him to keep her safe, then that was exactly what he is going to do.

It took a bit longer usual but Eli was finally able to fall back asleep.  He actually found it more relaxing to have Tiviza in his arms. Knowing she was calm and safe put his mind more at ease.  Upon waking, Eli didn’t push Tiviza for anything else, allowed her to say what she wanted about the night prior, or allow her to pretend she hadn’t come to him.  But instead, she hugged him tight and thanked him as soon as she opened her eyes.

Eli simply smiled and gladly offered his room to her should she ever have need of him in the future.  And from there, Eli truly felt as close to a father as he could be. In hindsight, he’d already been acting like a father, or an uncle for how much he showered Tiviza with gifts of toys.  He continued that behavior, a new toy every time they returned from a patrol. Inviting other sky-walkers whenever there was a nearby fleet. Doing his absolute best to facilitate a normal childhood life on board an active duty ship.

Tiviza responded well to it all well.  Taking to her normal work positively, knowing that at the end of every shift she could return to her toys and weave her stories.  Never once did she complain about her situation, argue with him, fight him along the way, or refuse her work. Eli had plenty of memories of younger cousins or neighbors on Lysatra screaming and throwing tantrums over trivial things.  That having put him off from ever wanting kids of his own. But, even without any of the rough patches, if Tiviza’s happiness and trust were the rewards of parenthood, he might have considered it.

But fatherhood was beyond him now.  He’d promised his service to the Chiss Ascendency, and he had to see it through, especially with the growing Grysk threat lurking just outside their borders.  Even if he had the ability to take on a child to raise, he wouldn’t be able to abandon his post. The Chiss needed him much more than a child would. So for now, he’d be content trying to make each of Tiviza’s days enjoyable.

Thinking of how much more well behaved Tiviza was compared to Human children, brought an urge to reward her with another toy.  Unfortunately, the current patrol they were on didn’t see any end in sight. Instead, taking a quick glance over to where Tiviza sat, he’d put some time aside to play with her tonight.  She’d been asking him, and while he truly did have too much stuff on his plate, he’d find some room.

First, they’d need to get through this shift’s patrol.  And it was shaping up to be a long and boring one. So far they had only confirmed the security of already mapped areas just on the line of the border of Chiss space.  Empty space that looked the same as it did the last time they checked it.

There was nothing that managed to drag on a shift like, well nothing.  Not that he’d ever let on to his crew that he was anything but vigilant.  However, he’d give almost anything to hide away in his office with a spreadsheet for a few hours than watch his crew silently meander through empty space.  Honestly, he’d take most anything over their current patrol.

It didn’t take long for Eli to regret that thought.  One moment, everything was calm and quiet. And in what felt like a second, all hell broke loose.  A small explosion rocked the side of their ship, setting off the emergency sirens as well as the proximity alarms.  Thankfully, his crew was trained to be at their best at any moment, and there wasn’t any hesitation before the updates poured in.

“Five ships approaching our starboard side, Captain.”

“Unorthodox models, most markings matching those of Grysk fleets.”

“All systems functional, shields running at seventy-four percent efficiency.”

“Prime all canons,  battle stations, send a report that we’ve been engaged!”  Eli shouted, pointing to various stations across his bridge.  Not needed confirmation to know his orders were followed through.

It had been a while since he’d had a battle at his fingertips.  While treacherous, he couldn’t deny how his entire body tingle with excitement at being able to command his crew to victory.  He knew how Thrawn must have felt always coming out on top in every battle.

Just as the sensors had found, once they came into view, there were in fact five Grysk ships.  Fortunately, they were smaller reconnaissance ships by the looks of them, and despite their superiority in numbers they had firepower and size on their hands.  They also did not have Eli and his crew, which meant they already lost.

The battle fell into full swing almost immediately.  The Grysk’s were being far too obvious with their strategy.  Using their five ships to surround them and shoot them from all sides.  Eli wouldn’t let them. With only a quick review of their movements, he found the command ship of the five.  The only one moving the least and trying to stay behind them rather than in front. They were hiding.

He had the ship’s boosters turn them partly around, and fire on the command ship.  Before they could reroute and avoid their fire, the ship was torn apart, leaving the other four without leadership.  There was a brief hesitation, before the remaining Grysk returned fire, and obviously out of sync with the others. From there, it was easy pickings.

Taking the ships down one by one, they had finished off three ships before their shield durability dropped to thirty-six percent.  The final ship had pulled off, as if contemplating retreat. But Eli knew the Grysk, it would not turn tail on them, not after initiating the battle.  He was preparing to order the final blow, staring down the viewport to the ship before them, when it revealed its own surprise.

A pulsing yellow bolt fired from the last Grysk ship, it’s composition nothing like what Eli had seen before.  Unstable, most likely experimental technology. It hit their ship, the yellow light spreading across the outside of their shields, completely encompassing them before dissolving.  There was a single beat before a new warning began flashing across their systems.

“Shield’s down!”  Came the astounded update, along with near frantic tapping as the technician attempted to bring them back online.

“Fire upon the ship immediately!”  Eli ordered. But it was too late, in the moment of brief hesitation, the Grysk managed to fire upon their bridge, and in an instant everything went dark.

When the light came back, everything was red.  The bridge cast in crimson from the emergency lights, power lost, even the system warnings had fallen silent.  Eli found himself on the floor, staring out the viewport at the debris of the Grysk ship. Then they had managed to get off their own folly before the critical damage to their bridge had befallen them.  He was still breathing, so there wasn’t a breach, but the damage was substantial.

Slowly, he began to focus on his surroundings, trying to sit up and survey the damage.  Clearly the ship had to fall back on emergency power reserves, hence the red lighting. He eyed some of his crew stirring and attempting to regain their own bearings, a select few still unconscious, but for the moment everyone seemed okay.

But, finishing his sweep of the bridge, he felt his entire body freeze as his blood ran cold.

Sprawled across the floor, eyes wide and plastered in blood, lay Tiviza.  Her head tilted to the side, and he met her open eyes. They were dull, no light shining in her irises.  Ignoring his own pain and possible injuries, Eli desperately scrambled to the small girl’s side, grabbing her face, checking her neck for a pulse.

“Tiviza!”  He screamed, heart hammering hard against his rib cage.  He could feel no warmth in her cheeks, no movement in her chest, no beating at her neck.

No. No no no no no.

“Tiviza, no!  Wake up come on!”  His voice broke, the conscious crew members around him watching him closely, but he couldn’t care.  His eyes stung, vision blurring with tears. He rubbed his thumbs over her cheeks, trying to wipe away the blood splattered across there, but all he managed to do was smear it around.

She was gone.  Her body dead weight as he tried to lift her up, her bright eyes as dull and as empty as a doll’s.  She died. On his bridge, feet away from him, and he didn’t protect her. The one thing he promised her, he couldn’t do.

Pain swelled in his chest, tearing out of him as a guttural scream, his tears flowing free from his eyes, falling down onto the lifeless face of the girl below her.  He gathered the Chiss in his arms, cradling the corpse as he would a baby, and held her against his chest while he wept.

The other Chiss around him drew closer silently, watching his pure display of emotion, but did nothing to stop him.  They simple observed, allowing Eli to drain his heart for a lost child who shouldn’t have been where she was. This was his fault, and they knew this.  His bridge, his crew, his responsibility. Now, he had a coffin to return to two parents who had been promised their daughter back.

But for now, he couldn’t be bothered with any of that.  He felt as if a cold knife had been plunged into his chest.  Slashing through his heart and tearing it from his body. All at once, he felt nothing and everything.  As if he weren’t in his body, but feeling each emotional pang of grief slashing another wound into his flesh.

He’d always heard that no parent should have to bury their child.  In this moment, he understood the utter pain and horror that surrounded that statement.  But he was no father. A father did not let the world take his child from him. He’s failed as a Captain, and failed as a parent.  This girl’s corpse in his arms a testament to that fact.

Eli never really was quite the same in the aftermath of that battle.  Reinforcements came to take them back to Csilla. The whole ordeal nothing but a blur in Eli’s mind.  After the immediate emotional serge of grief, he found himself numb to everything else around him.

The Ascendency reviewed him and his actions, found no issues with his command and cleared him to return to duty.  He just stood there and let them talk, having nothing in him to voice. Thrass had come to him on his own afterwards, voicing his own sympathies.

But there was nothing to be done.  He was sent back to duty, assigned a new sky-walker and life went on.  He didn’t seem to feel anything until he had to clear Tiviza’s room of her possessions.  Entering that room, he felt the knife plunge itself back into his chest. Sitting on her neatly made bed, were two things.  Her first doll, and the Captain toy she’d named after Eli. And for the second time, he wept, clutching the child’s toy to his chest.

In the end, he kept only three of her toys, and left the rest for the sky-walker that replaced her.  Tiviza always seemed happy to share with the girls that would visit. He could only hope she’d want her toys to be passed onto someone else who could enjoy them.

In his own room, he designated one shelf to the three toys he took for himself.  The Admiral toy named Thrawn, the Captain toy named Eli, and the doll named Tiviza.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't make y'all wait very long to know what girl Eli had been thinking about. I had tried to not make it super obvious that it was a sky-walker who had died but, oh well, I'm not that subtle. I actually had to cut back on the foreshadowing, it used to be worse haha. Thank you all to people who support me through this time in my life, I apreciate it and I will continue trying to get chapters out on time <3
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	15. Chapter Nine - Sabine - New Leaf

The ship Sabine and Ahsoka were using for their search was rather spacious, especially with just the two of them.  But, adding four extra, rather unhappy, passengers took away a lot of the comfort. The three storm troopers sat in the back area, thankfully, but the officer, Tyna, was adamant about remaining in the cockpit with them.  As if she didn’t trust them not to dump them off on some New Republic prison.

That wouldn’t be an issue, if the woman wasn’t so insistent on discussing philosophy with them.  Demanding what beliefs the New Republic held at their core, then snidely dismissing them. Always loving to bring up any shortcomings of the old Republic and acting skeptical of the New Republic to be better.  Sabine had become beyond annoyed in no time flat, and she could only guess what Ahsoka must feel. Ahsoka lived in the time of the old Republic, served in the Grand Army of the Republic. Flaws or no, that was her government.

However, the Togruta didn’t say anything.  She sat silently and calmly, only speaking when questions were directed at her specifically.  For the most part she left it up to Sabine to answer the woman’s questions. Oh how lucky for her.  She half thought it was test of patience, one she felt she might fail very quickly.

She may not have really been alive when the Republic was still in control, at least what she was alive for she was far too young to remember, but seeing what it became, she didn’t understand how anyone can view the Empire as less flawed than the old Republic.  Sure, it was corrupt, and its priorities skewered, but last she checked they never destroyed an entire planet, or enslaved people. Rather, they were fighting against such things.

Just for that alone she’d vouch that the Republic was far better than the Empire could ever be, but this woman just wasn’t having it.  Sabine was beginning to have second thoughts about promising to let them go. Maybe dropping them off at the nearest New Republic prison would do them good.  She could dream at least. It kept her sane.

“And another thing, how do we know this New Republic won’t simply drive away planets like the old one did?  I don’t want another Clone War on our hands!” Her high pitched voice droned on yet again. Her accent beginning to grind Sabine's ears from all the constant unwarranted complaining.

“Would you stop!  All you’ve done is talk about how awful the old Republic was, this and that and this and that, ugh!”  Sabine whirled on the woman, her outburst seemingly enough to silence her in shock. “You haven’t even seen the New Republic, how can you sit there and cry the praises of the Empire when they destroyed Alderaan, devastated worlds, enslaved the Wookies!  As far as I’m concerned, the old Republic was perfect if you compare it to the Empire!”

The cockpit fell into silence.  Both Tyna and Ahsoka watching Sabine closely, who honestly, was seething far too much to care.  Her entire body felt warm, the heat of frustration spreading through her veins. But she felt justified, the Empire was a horrible, evil presence in the galaxy, no one should ever praise it, under any circumstances.

“I wasn’t saying the Empire was perfect, only that it improved where the Republic failed.”  Tyna, apparently not taking the hint to shut up, piped up yet again.

“Like killing their people?”

“Over leaving them to die!”

“Enslavement!”

“Destruction!”

“ _ Stop _ .”  Both women flinched, Ahsoka, who till now had been silent, suddenly demanded.  Her voice, while not raising, sliced through their shouting like a blade.

“Ahsoka-”  Sabine started, only to stop as the other woman raised her hand.

“This bickering is mindless and wasteful.  Both the Republic and the Empire are no more, regardless which system seemed better, they were both the same.”

“What?  Ahsoka!”

“Both were ruled, in total, by Palpatine.  All the corruption, imbalance of power of the Republic originated from him in one way or another.  When the Republic became the Empire, he simply had more freedom to do with the galaxy as he wished.  They were the same in everything but name.”

Done, she turned back forward, closing her eyes, attempting to return to her meditation.  Sabine didn’t dare say anything to argue, and Tyna must have agreed with that idea. The Imperial swiftly took her leave from there, turning back to join her comrades.  Sabine awkwardly holding onto the ships controls despite being locked in hyperspace.

She dared a few glances at Ahsoka, the woman perfectly still, like a statue in her seat.  Sabine would have never guessed Ahsoka had ill views of the old Republic. She knew how she had been treated by the Jedi Order, but the Republic?  There was nothing she’d ever heard of before. Though, as she thought on it, the more it began to fit into place.

She knew the Jedi had tossed her out, but that was to put her on trial by the military courts.  Which were directly under Palpatine’s jurisdiction. And from her history lessons as a younger girl, the Clone Wars, as it dragged on, gave more and more powers to the Chancellor, giving him too much power than his job entailed, and put him in office longer than his term.

Ahsoka, having been not only directly at the mercy of the man, and watching first hand the tragedy of Order 66, would make this sort of conversation a sore spot for her.  No wonder she had interjected so passionately. Though, Sabine might have too just from how annoying the bickering must have gotten.

“Ahsoka.”  Sabine began awkwardly, drawing the older woman’s attention.  “Sorry about that, I guess things got a bit too heated.”

“No apologies necessary.  I understand why you felt offended.”  Ahsoka soothed, giving a small smile. Was it the Force that made people so calm and easy to forgive?  Sabine would have been on edge for a hell of a lot longer than that.

“And I can get why you were too.  Guess I just wasn’t thinking about it at the time.”

“I assumed.  There is no harm done.  Though, I can see she is still not accustomed to my presence.”  Sabine huffed a laugh, turning back to look at the closed door. That was for sure, it certainly helped them to keep the Imperials in check, the fear of a Force user so ingrained in their being.

“I don’t think any of them would be either.  But that works in our favor so what can you do.”  Ahsoka relaxed against her chair, sinking slightly into the material, folding her hands in her lap.

“I can only hope the galaxy can come to trust Force users once more, but that will take time.”

“Well, with people like you and Ezra, I’m sure people will come around.”

“I wish I had your optimism, Sabine.”  Sabine chuckled at her words, leaning back in her chair to prop her legs up on the console.

“I like to think that I’ll succeed until I don’t.”

“It certainly seems to have worked so far.  I learned a while ago ever get in the way of a Mandalorian and what they want.”  The pair shared a laugh, falling into a comfortable silence. Which really only lasted a minute or two before Sabine broke it again.

“So, Garel, you think they’ll behave themselves there?”  Ahsoka leaned her head back, seeming to actually consider the question.

“I believe so.  They are all fearful of being imprisoned or punished for having been part of the Empire, they wouldn’t risk drawing attention to themselves.”

Sabine furrowed her brows, mind drifting to that subject.  What Tyna had said before was still getting to her. About being punished for just following their government.  It was such a gray line, their responsibility for their crimes. While on one hand they were simply following orders, the other being they had full ability to leave the Empire, join the Rebellion, go into hiding.  No one was really forcing them to do the Empire’s bidding. People like Kallus, Wedge, Hobbie, they made the choice and turned their back because they didn’t want to do the Empire’s evil bidding.

But they were strong willed people with fighting spirits.  So many civilians didn’t possess such a fire in them, and were unable to do more than roll over and follow as the Empire told them.  People with families whom they felt needed protecting, so they would follow mindlessly for a cause they felt bigger than themselves.

Sabine knew of the tragedy of Nora Wexley’s family, losing her husband to the Empire because he tried fighting, then joining the Rebellion herself just to leave her son behind.  She heard the struggle it was to reconnect with her son after all was said and done. Many people weren’t willing to destroy their families to combat the Empire, what did that make them?  Mindless people who just kept their head down and did as they were told, or people directly responsible for the organization they were a part of?

“I can sense your conflict, Sabine.”  Ahsoka spoke into her thoughts. Right, she forgot she could do that.

“This is, just all so weird.”  She sighed, anxiously drumming her fingers against her thigh.

“Weirder than Ezra taking out the entire Seventh Fleet with a herd of Purgil?”  Sabine couldn’t help but crack a smile. Glancing back at Ahsoka she saw a much similar smile on the woman’s face.

“You know what I mean.”

“I do, I can understand why this is all a confusing situation.  Do you believe we are making a mistake by letting them go?” Ahsoka watched her closely, Sabine only able to sigh and run a hand through her short hair.

“I...I don’t know, I was hoping you would have an answer to that question.”  She swung her legs back down, turning to fully face the Togruta. “I mean, this is easier because we need to go out and look for Ezra, but...is it right?”

“I do not have all the answers.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“But, I feel this question can only be answered by your heart.  The plight of Tyna and her friends has affected you enough to make you conflicted.  What does your heart feel?”

Sabine paused, resting a hand over top her heart.  She wasn’t sure exactly how she felt. While part of her felt that this was the fastest way to be rid of them and desperately wanted to be rid of them, part of her worried whether they deserved to be set free.  At her core, what part felt stronger than the other.

“I don’t know...but, I think maybe this way is for the best.  Like you said, it’s unlikely they’ll stir up any trouble, and if they do, well that will just get them a one way ticket to prison.  But...what if they go out and do something terrible, hurt, or even kill people, because we let them go?”

Ahsoka nodded slowly, directing her view back out to the swirling blues of hyperspace.  She looked to be contemplating, or meditating on this fact through the Force. Or maybe, she was just trying to remember, Sabine could never really tell when it came to Jedi-er Force sensitives.  Slowly, her eyes reopened and turned back on Sabine.

“I do not think they have ill intentions towards the Galaxy.  I believe that, if left to their own abilities, they will not spell trouble for others.  They only seem to wish to be free.”

If someone with the Force said that, Sabine almost had to believe it.  She’d be a fool not to, with the many feats she’s seen Kanan and Ezra accomplish.  Though, she still felt her own reservations about the group, it wasn’t impossible for them to check up on them after they’ve rescued Ezra.  Just to check on them and make sure they are adhering to the law.

After they’ve rescued Ezra.  That was an odd thought. She’d been so focused on wanting to get to him, there really wasn’t an after once they found him.  Narrow minded in thinking only towards the end goal of finding him. Was this the first time she’d thought of what they’d do after?  Thinking about that fact, it was somewhat uplifting, to think they will not only find him but successfully have more adventures together after.

“Alright, then this works for me.  And after we find Ezra, we can ask him what he thinks.”  She gave Ahsoka a big grin, the other woman returning it, looking almost proud.  Was that somehow also a test? She’d forgotten how Kanan could be, and never realized Ahsoka might act similarly.  That wasn’t a problem, if she kept passing these unspoken tests, what problem would they cause?

The rest of the short trip to Garel was, thankfully, and blissfully, quiet.  Tyna and the Stormtroopers stayed in the back, Sabine and Ahsoka just enjoying the calm of the cockpit together.  It was nice just to relax for a bit, seeing how frustrated she had been previously with the Force trip, the Bendu, and Tyna.  They both needed some quiet time.

That quiet shattered as they came out of their jump, hovering over Garel, and Sabine was hit with a wave of nostalgia.  She hadn’t been back since the time they were hiding here, when the Empire had attempted to capture them. Very quickly, Sabine was beginning to realize most of her final memories of planets was during some sort of battle to escape.  But now, much like Atollon, the world was calm, peaceful. She almost kind of missed it.

This was the place they spent a frustratingly large amount of time stuck together, but thinking back on it now, she could remember it fondly.  Hera and Kanan bickering, Rex and Kanan trying to get along, Chopper terrorizing them all. Here, where she got to reunite with Ketsu. Back when Ezra still had that scrappy haircut, and when he still acted more like the immature child he used to be.  She never realized how much she had missed all that, but, she supposed, that was all part of growing up after everything has changed.

They had barely been out of hyperspace before the door behind them opened once again.  Tyna coming back into the cockpit without a word, seating herself back in her chair. Most likely not trusting Sabine still.  It didn’t matter to her, their time with these Imperials was almost to an end and then they could wash their hands of them. Every second spent with them was a second not focused on their quest at hand.

“We made no promises, all we’re going to do is drop you off and the rest is up to you, got it?”  Sabine said over her shoulder, taking back control of the ship and steering towards the planet.

“Yes I know.  What good it’ll do, not like we’ll be able to get normal jobs once they know of our previous employment.”  The woman mumbled in response, huffing in her seat.

“Not my problem.”  Thankfully, Tyna didn’t seem up to continuing any further debate with Sabine and simply kept her mouth shut.  This allowed Sabine to truly enjoy the view of the oh so familiar planet, the nostalgia coming back once again.  Things were a bit simpler back then, but just as hard. However, she couldn’t tell if she missed the planet, or just her crew, her family.  It could easily be both.

Landing was quick and simple, and the end was just before them.  Almost rid of these Imperials, and this detour. Rushing just a bit, Sabine moved about the landing sequence and locking down the ship.  Excitement buzzing just under her skin. She hopped up from her seat, turning to Ahsoka then to Tyna.

“Alright, let's get a move on!”  She said, slipping on her helmet and making to leave the cockpit.

“Sabine wait.”  It was Ahsoka who had stopped her.  She turned to face the woman, who had only turned her chair around, not even standing.

“Uh, yeah?”

“I think it would be most time effective if you took care of our guests.  I will remain here and meditate. Hopefully begin narrowing down our next heading.”  That did sound like a good idea to Sabine. The least amount of wasted time the better, and it would certainly make the Imperials more at ease if Ahsoka wasn’t around.  Sabine just didn’t want to be stuck alone with them. But finding Ezra quickly was more important than her temporary discomfort.

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.  I’ll com you if anything goes wrong.”

“I’m sure you can handle any altercations.”  She chuckled. “Good luck.”

“You too.  Come on Tyna.”  The ex-officer didn’t need to be told twice, quickly hurrying after Sabine, sparring a single glance back at Ahsoka.  The three Stormtroopers were standing together waiting for them by the ramp.

“So what do you plan to do with us?”  One of them asked, Tex, if Sabine remembered correctly.  It was a good question, cause Sabine wasn’t completely sure.  It shouldn’t be too hard to relocate some people trying to avoid their past.  Granted most people like that went farther into the Outer Rim to get away, but they did not have time for that.

“Well, the best I can do is give you some credits and send you on your way.  Where you go from there isn’t my problem.” Obviously they didn’t quite like that answer.

“You can’t just leave us here with some credits!  We have no where to stay, no clothes, no jobs!” Another Stormtrooper piped up, the others nodding in agreement.

“The least you could do is help provide us with living accommodations.”  Tyna snapped, crossing her arms across her chest.

“I don’t have to do anything at all, okay?  The fact I’m not immediately turning you over to authorities should be more than enough.”  Sabine was getting tired of this very quickly. “All, I offered to do was drop you off at the nearest civilized world.  I shouldn’t even give you any credits!” Tyna fixed her with a glare, her arms tensing as if she were preparing to lash out, only someone else stopped her.

“Hows about we just calm down.”  The third trooper cut in, raising his hands between them.  This was the one who came from Alderaan, he hadn’t said much since first hearing the fate of his world.  It actually shocked Sabine to see him speaking up.

“Flint!  What are you doing?”  Tyna hissed at him.

“Look,” he sighed, “we’re fighting like we’re still on opposing sides of a war.  There is no more war, we’re all on the same level now. Bickering is getting us nowhere and I’m sick of it!”  That actually shocked the others into silence. He turned to Sabine. “I know we all got off on the wrong foot, and we once used to be enemies, but this war is over, and I just want to get back to life before the Empire.  I don’t have my world anymore, and of anyone, we four harbor so many regrets of our time with the Empire. So, I plead with you, help us on our way, we just want to live normal lives again. I’m not demanding your help.” He risked a glare at Tyna.  “I’m just asking for help.”

For a moment, everyone was quiet.  Sabine didn’t quite know what to say.  While the three had been bickering and demanding, as she’d expect any Imperial to do, this one, Flint, instead is asking for her help.  Not shifting blame, not defending what they did, but showing remorse and pleading for aid. He was the one who lost the most of any of them.  Sabine could relate to his plight, feeling her heart sway in his favor at the least. Unfortunately all four of them were a bundle.

“Okay.”  She sighed.  “I’ll do what I can, let’s stop at the housing district first.”  Flint’s face broke into a genuinely gratuitous face, that pulled at Sabine’s heart.  He was just a man who wanted to start over when he had nothing to go back to.

“Thank you, for everything Sabine Wren.”

“Don’t thank me yet, I can throw my name around, but I’m no miracle worker.”

The housing district was a decently sized one, which was to be expected, Garel was a heavily populated world with larger cities than most other Outer Rim worlds.  Thankfully, because of this, there were plenty of vacancies in need of filling. Within an hour Sabine had gotten a hold of the first realtor she could and started the renting process.

She wasn’t made of credits, not by a long shot.  But her part in the Rebel Alliance and work she’d done for the now New Republic had given her access a budget of funds.  It was meant for supplying her and aiding people in the quest to liberate them from the dwindling remnants of the Empire.  She’d say this counted. In under two hours everything was signed, credits were transferred and the living accommodations were taken care of.

“Thank you, thank you, I honestly appreciate all you have done for us.  I guess all the rumors had been true about the Rebels!” Flint sputtered, shaking her hand once everything was taken care of.

“Yes, I must apologize.  I had no right to be as standoffish as I was towards you.  At least Flint was the wisest among us.” Tyna spoke, looking mildly sheepish and ashamed.  “We were on that planet for so long, I was so desperate to escape, and was scared of trading one prison for another.  But that is no excuse. You are a very commendable woman Sabine Wren, we are in your debt.”

“Just keep yourselves out of trouble and I’ll consider us even, how’s that?”  She answered, starting the walk out of the small apartment and back into the street.  She was ready to get going.

“Still, we are very grateful, we know we’ve sidetracked you from your time sensitive mission.”  Tex said as they followed her out.

“If you ever need anything, do not hesitate to ask, we can’t do much, but we can do our best.”  The final man spoke, the one who seemed to be close with Tex, Needo, Sabine learned from the paperwork.

“I’ll keep that in mind, I wish you luck, but I really need to get going.”  They made it back into the semi crowded streets, the apartment complex not too far from the city center.

“Good luck on your search Sabine Wren.”  Tyna called, the others sharing the sentiment.

“Sabine Wren?”  A new voice questioned from slightly down the street, one that didn’t quite sound familiar, but gave her a feeling of déjà vu.  All five turned to face the newcomer, and even then, Sabine didn’t recognize them.

“Uh, hello?”  She watched a man approach, average height, in normal civilian clothing, and a generic looking face, one she certainly couldn’t place.  “Do I know you?”

“No, but I know you!  You and your Rebels ruined my life!”  He certainly had an accent that greatly matched Tyna’s, and by that talk, he must be some Imperial, or ex.  He hand slid down to her hip, resting over her hip.

“Look I don’t know you, and I’m in a rush, so get out of my way.”  He didn’t seemed intimidated by her subtle threat, which was surprising.  This man barely looked to have a backbone.

“Lyste?”  It was Tyna speaking up from behind her.  The woman came closer to stand next to Sabine.  “Yogar Lyste?”

“Y-yes, is that you Tyna?”  The two eyed each other closely before pulling back in shock.

“I thought you were arrested for treason?!  Weren’t you executed?”

“N-no!  I was cleared of charges by Grand Admiral Thrawn and dismissed from service.  I thought you died with the Empire, you’d been missing for so long.”

“Okay!”  Sabine interrupted, fighting down her frustrations.  “Can someone explain to me what’s going on?” It was Lyste who seemed eager to explain.

“Agent Kallus, your Fulcrum traitor, he framed for being a spy that ruined my entire career with the Imperial Navy!”

“Lyste and I attended the same academy in our early days, we used to keep in touch, before he was supposedly arrested.”  Tyna continued.

“And, what does this have to do with me?”

“Y-You ruined my life!”  Lyste barked, holding his chin a degree higher and puffing out his chest.

“No I didn’t.  I never even met you.  Look I have places to be and I’ve already provided enough aid to some ex-Imperials, I’m not an Empire charity.”

“Wait, Tyna, she’s helping you?”  Tyna nodded, taking a quick minute to explain their situation from stranded on Atollon to now.  Lyste seemed shocked. “R...Really? I don’t understand, why would you do that?”

“Because they asked for my help.  Simple as that. Look, as fun as this reunion is, why don’t you all catch up.  I think this is great, from one ex-Imperial to another, he can show you the ropes of getting your life back on track.  Lyste, if I see Kallus again I’ll let him know you’re upset, okay? Goodbye.” She barely waited long enough for Lyste to take a breath before she was on her way.  There were a few calls of thanks from behind her, and the confused stammering of Lyste, but again, that wasn’t Sabine’s problem anymore.

It felt good to be free of the group.  Knowing they’re not only on the right path, but also possible of putting aside their resentments.  Whoever Lyste was, Sabine truly didn’t care, she never met him, though the name was familiar, no doubt she’d heard talks of him if he worked with Grand Admiral Thrawn at some point.  And had something against Kallus, but who didn’t at this point. Regardless of his own rage, he might actually be able to help the group better than she could. It was time to wash her hands of this mess and get back on track.

Ahsoka was exactly where Sabine had left her.  Sitting in her seat, meditating, or sleeping, there wasn’t that much of a difference to Sabine.  She didn’t move as the Mandelorian entered, even as she took her own seat in the pilot's chair. Silently she had begun the take off sequence, willing to wait in orbit for Ashoka to provide them their next header.  She need not wait long. Ahsoka’s eyes slowly opened, turning to face Sabine, giving her a warm smile. It almost seemed like she was proud of her, but of what she couldn’t tell.

“Your imbalance, it is rectifying.”  She said, turning her chair to face her fully.

“My imbalance is fixed?”  Sabine asked, doing her best to want to understand.  She’s spent the bulk of their time confused and dismissal of the Force.  If she can pause long enough to understand people who were once her enemies, she could try and understand the Force to the best of her ability.

“Not fixed, but is on its way.  You have come to terms with things around you, and things about yourself.  It is a big step Sabine.”

“Um, thank you.  I’m trying my best, for Ezra.”

“No.  Not for Ezra, for yourself.”  Herself? Everything right now she was doing so they could find Ezra, bring him home.  But that’s not what Ahsoka meant, regardless of her intentions for her actions, at the end of it all, it’s her who is faced with the changes or improvements, becoming her best.  Sabine smiled at the woman, an understanding, not completely, but partially forming in her mind.

“Yeah, for myself.”

“As I’m sure what you’re waiting for, I know where we much go next.”

“Lay it on me.”

“Malachor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little late, I officially moved out today and that was a very lengthy experience. This chapter is also the last one that I had written in advance, the next one is about half way done, and my upcoming week is still very busy. I'll be doing my best, thank you all for your understanding and patience! Thank you again for your love and support! <3
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> [Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	16. Memories - Ezra - Outstretched Hand

It was harder to shake off the look Thrawn had given him than Ezra felt it should have been.  Sure, he’d never seen the man angry, never like that, but he’s also never spent enough time with him for it to matter.  But something told him, that the alien didn’t tend to get truly furious, and what he just witnessed was rare.

It also felt strangely validating.  Knowing the Thrawn wasn’t some stoic in control person.  That Ezra could get under his skin, the feeling oddly empowering as well, but raised many questions.  Most surrounding whoever that man in the holo had been. Someone of great importance to Thrawn, obviously.  He was clearly Imperial, no way he was a family member to him, he looked maybe close in age to Thrawn, though definitely a bit younger.  Maybe they worked together? But that wouldn’t explain why he was so important.

Ezra sighed, absentmindedly twirling the training staff in his hands as he walked.  That felt nice too, having the staff moving through the air, the weight pulling on his arm reminding him vaguely of his lightsaber, it was a good way to take his mind off of things.  What he’d give to his saber back. Hopefully Sabine got a hold of it, though giving it to Chopper might be a problem. He should have just given it to her directly, Force knows that droid could be difficult.

The weapon would have been extremely useful to him now.  Especially with some unknown Force presence that had been trailing him.  Even if it didn’t appear hostile, there was no way to be sure. No doubt he’d encounter the source, or it would encounter him, at some point while they were stuck here.

If they were stranded, he might as well take a look at where they ended up.  Halting his mindless walking down corridors, he turned instead and made for a lift.  He wasn’t sure of any direct way to leave the Star Destroyer, and no doors would want to be cooperative, he was sure.  The bridge, however, Ezra knew was exposed. It was a good place to start at least. Collapsing the staff and storing it on his belt, Ezra jogged up to his lift, resting the piece of the retaining wall beside it, and began the climb back up.

With his rest, painkillers, and bacta patch, the climb was smooth and much easier than it was before while untreated.  His muscles were still sore, and ached a bit at the exerted force, but he’d take this over the agony of the first climb down any day.  It seemed faster too, climbing up without the slow agony of a wound to baby, he completed the ascension in record time, and in far better shape.

Unsurprisingly, upon reaching the bridge, nothing had really changed.  Other than a few missing people, like Faro and a stormtrooper or two, everything was how he left it.  Which seemed to solidify the fate of the other bodies laying around on the floor. He tried not to think about it too much, and instead made for the broken windows.

He must have been asleep for a long time.  Last time he checked outside it looked to be afternoon, just past midday maybe.  Now it looked to be just after sunrise. The planet could have a short day and night cycle, maybe, but that didn't seem to be the case here.  More than likely, Ezra just slept for a lot longer than he thought. Which was fine, better than trying to explore in the dark.

He peered over the edge of the viewport, judging the distance back down to the surface.  They actually weren’t that high, having the entire ship rammed into the earth below would make it a bit shorter.  Too high to jump, but if he could just get down onto the flat part of the Star Destroyer, getting down onto the ground would be easy from there.  Not impossible.

He swung both his arms around, and rolled his shoulders, before grabbing the edge and pulling up his knee and leaning out farther from the ship.  The air smelled fresh, a soft breeze dusting across his cheeks, but not too strong to cause any problems. Sparing on glance back at the quiet bridge, he slipped outside the window, planting his feet on the lip of the exterior.  Outside of the destroyed bridge, he could finally get a full whiff of the outside air. The warm breeze smelled so fresh, unlike anything he’s ever smelled. A planet truly untouched by technology.

As much as he could have stayed there, enjoying the virgin landscape, he wasn’t going to make much progress in discovering this planet from up here.  He began his climb down. Growing up on Lothal, a heavily advanced world, technology and industry were the backbone of any civilization he’d ever seen.  Never once had he even thought what it would be like without it. He wasn’t sure anyone did. Having this opportunity, to connect with a world without machines, technology, factories, it was oddly thrilling.

His world was almost destroyed by those TIE Defender factories, stripping the planet of its resources, and burning away the landscape.  He would cherish a world that has yet to be polluted by people and their greedy expenditures. He’d keep Thrawn and his Imperials from harming this planet in any way, that was his vow.

* * *

 

Thrawn’s heart wouldn’t still.  He so rarely gave into his emotions, that every time he did, it took some strange toll on his body.  Usually he could remain in control of himself and his feelings, but seeing the boy, Bridger, invading the one space he considered sacred, gazing upon a face he had no right to see, had the man seeing red.  He could blame it on the medications, the fatigue, his injuries, but the truth was he was becoming weak. His time with Human’s, and the many frustrations they brought, had been taking a toll on him.

People like Pryce, Konstantine, Slavin those frustrating and aggravating individuals had poor impacts on him and his success, they would not be missed.  The irony that the problems in his plans, lay with them was not lost on him. And certainly, Bridger and his rebels knew this fact as well. Without the incompetence of the other Imperials, he would have obliterated them.

No.  He corrected himself.  The fault did not lie with them.  It was with him. He was the one in command, his duty was to train, convince, and gain the trust of all those whom he commanded.  And he failed. Whatever glory he may have had attached to him and his accomplishments, was lost the moment he cut corners and allowed these imbeciles freedom to ruin his carefully crafted plans.  What would Eli think of him now?

Downcast eyes fell on the holoprojector held tightly in his hand.  Switching it back on, his gaze softened as he watched Eli’s smile, something he’d long since memorized, materialize before him.  This was all he had left of the man, all traces of him having been scrubbed from the Chimaera, any trail back to his whereabouts nonexistent.  Except for this. Thrawn’s one and only guilty pleasure.

When things got too stressful, too frustrating, or the nights he was plagued by thoughts he tried to escape, just seeing Eli’s smile again could put him at ease.  What he wouldn’t give to see him one last time. This holo couldn’t hold a candles light to experiencing Eli’s warm smile in the flesh, especially not when he was the reason for the smile.  Would Eli still have a reason to smile at him now, after all he’s done?

How much has he sacrificed, what morals has he set aside to forward his goals?  Things he’d never have done were Eli at his side. But with Pryce there in his place, it became too easy to change, to become something he shouldn’t be.  How much longer until he completely lost himself, until he no longer was the man that Eli Vanto would smile at, whom he had full faith in? Had that time already passed?  How good of a person could he be, if when unleashed upon his enemies, this is what he did when unchecked?

Thrawn smiled sadly at the blue image before him, rubbing his thumb against the cool metal.  This smile kept him from completely falling into his anger, his greed, from becoming the cold ruthless creature of Eli’s legends.  Over Atollon, a flash of that smile in his subconscious was enough to pull back his orbital assault. Over Lothal, despite the Emperor’s orders to fire upon the city, remembering Eli, what Hell he’d want to raise over the order, he pulled back from full destruction there as well.  That’s not who he is. He’s a protector of innocents, not their destroyer. While he could have decimated the city and its people, diverting his fire only to buildings and avoiding the people allowed him to satisfy the Emperor and not sacrifice them.

Eli, however, wouldn't see it that way.  Firing at all on the city of innocents is a step too far, and losing Eli Vanto, would be the worst punishment.  To lose him not physically, but emotionally. His first friend, his most trusted ally, the only person who unintentionally held his heart in his hands.  When he sent Eli back to his people, he sent him away with his heart. And this is what he did without it?

It scars him to this day, having sent Eli away without confessing the extent of his feelings for the other man.  Now that chance has been robbed from him, and it was a fitting punishment. Without realizing he had, Bridger has given him the only prison that could break him.  At the very least, he can take some solace knowing that Eli won’t ever have to see his fall. No doubt once his disappearance was known to the Ascendancy they’d pull out from that region of space, and focus back on themselves and the Unknown Regions.  He only hoped Eli wasn’t too upset by the dismissal of Thrawn’s fate.

Despite it all, the humiliation, the anger, the frustration.  Bridger has earned some bit of Thrawn’s respect, he’d underestimated him before.  That was where his shortcomings had come from. He believed Hera Syndulla to be the most important member of Phoenix Squadron, that with her capture the location of the Rebels and their demise would come shortly after.  But it was Bridger that got the upperhand, Bridger who found a way to destroy his fleet, Bridger that got around Thrawn’s planning and outsmarted him, even though it was in an unconventional way. For that, the boy could have his respect.

This did not negate his anger or frustrations, and by no means did it seem that the young man would ever willingly return the gesture.  The fiery anger in the boy, he recognized as pure contempt, he abhorred Thrawn and everything he stood for. Though not a fool, Bridger could set aside his anger, he knew that their fates were now tied to one another, but an understanding seemed impossible to reach between them.  Thrawn could live with that, while it would be easier if there was a respect struck between them, they could still survive without it.

Thrawn switched off the holoprojector, tossing the device onto his bed.  These thoughts were wasteful. He turned instead, to his closet and dresser, needing a new set of clothes.  His current uniform was out of the question. He did not truly have authority of command here, his only authority would come from proving he could lead them out of this, all previous ranks were lost to them the moment they jumped.

Instead of the white, he chose his old olive green uniform pants, his usual undershirt, and the cloak he kept from the secret meeting he had with Pryce all those years ago.  The white would become dirty quickly and stick out in an instant where they may need to hide from enemies or predators. The undershirt in case the heat of the planet was too intense for his Chiss body, and the cloak for some protection against the elements.

It was difficult, and painful to change his undershirt with his arm in a sling, but he wasn’t going to go ask for assistance.  Already he’s shown far too much weakness in front of his crew and Bridger. If he couldn’t handle himself now, he’d be of no use to anyone.  So, gritting through the pain, he managed to remove his soiled shirt and slip into a fresh clean one. The cloak and pants were simple to change in comparison.  Once completely changed, he allowed himself to relax, just being in a fresh set of clean clothes that weren’t plastered to his flesh with his own blood.

Smoothing out his cloak so it rested comfortably on his body, he turned back to his room, and caught sight of the holodisk on his bed.  With two steps he had the metal back in his palm, caressing the device gently. His mind was made, the likelihood of them returning to this ship once they vacated was very low, so for that reason, and perhaps because he didn’t wish to be without it, he would keep the holo with him.  He switched it back on, as if for some reason it would have disappeared in the few minutes he left it unattended. But sure enough, Eli’s smile appeared before him once again, and Thrawn smiled.

“Sir?”  He flinched at the sudden voice from the doorway, switching off the holo, but it was too late to conceal what he was doing.  He turned, and there was Faro, looking uncomfortable, knowing she had embarrassed them both, but stood her ground in the doorway.  It could have been worse, she already knew of this holodisk.

“Yes?”  He raised his brow, not making a big show of casually clipping the holodisk onto his belt.  Faro watched the movement with her eyes.

“You miss him don’t you.”  She sounded empathetic, as if she felt pity for a sad man holding onto something that wasn’t real.

“You came here with a reason, Faro.”  She flinched at his drop in tone, jumping back into their professionalism.

“Yes, sorry.  I was just concerned, you were taking a while to change.”  She averted her eyes from him, which was odd coming from her.  Usually she was very stiff and assured.

“The boy was in my quarters, he delayed my task.”  That got her attention, face falling into an unconcealed glower.

“I still think it is a poor decision to leave him alive.”

“You are intelligent, you know why we must work with him.”  The woman sighed, her shoulder slumping in defeat.

“Yes I know why, I just am not happy about it.”

“We must sacrifice our emotions and comfort if we plan to survive.  The only way to do that is to work with each other.” Faro nodded at his words, but her dejected posture remained.

“Yes sir.”

“There is no need for that anymore, Faro.  I am no longer your superior officer, Imperial ranks will only work to hinder us now.”  Faro gave him a smile, straightening up a bit taller.

“No offense, but you’ll always be my superior officer.  No one could earn that right but you.” Thrawn returned the smile, the sentimentality of the phrase giving him a much needed boost.

“Thank you, I am honored to have your respect, but you may call me Thrawn from now on.”

“I’ll try sir-Thrawn.”

“Now, if I recall, you said that you had gathered everyone and all our resources in the mess hall?”

“Yes!  Though I haven’t been back there since the crash, I fear many people might not have been as lucky as us in the aftermath.”  She had a point, the interior of the Star Destroyer was eerily quiet, the bustle of crew members would have caused some noise.  Yet so far, nothing. It wasn’t very promising, the survivors would most likely be very limited. And, judging by the angle of the ship, the most likely crash scenario, put the mess in the epicenter of impact.

“Let us go and check.”

Their situation was bleak.  While unconscious, during their hyperspace jump, the crew had fallen apart before Kayrn Faro could get them under control.  Over half of the ships in their hanger were destroyed in the crew’s desperate attempt to flee, no doubt being torn apart in the strains of hyperspace.  What remains of TIE’s and Lambda shuttles were lost in the crash, the hanger thoroughly obliterated in the crash. Even the ability to access it’s remains was impossible without stronger machinery to cut through the hull.

Thankfully, Faro had realized the panic might lead the crew to make foolish decisions and stepped up to lead in his place.  She wasn’t fast enough to save the crew who jumped ship, but she corralled the remaining personnel, along with as much supplies as they could scavenge before the crash, into the mess hall.

The mess, as suspected, was at the epicenter of initial impact.  Beyond her knowledge or control, a majority of their remaining crew perished in the devastating collision.  They were able to salvage some of the supplies, but the loss of life was vast. It greatly soured his mood. He was their commanding officer, meant to lead them, took an oath to protect life, including that of his crew.  And here he stood among the ruins of their lives.

It was, hard to take.  He had kept himself composed around Faro, she herself having troubles doing the same.  They were no strangers to death and destruction, but it never made it easier. All together, a fraction of their supplies had survived the crash, and of their immense crew, they were left with just shy of a hundred, most of them still in critical condition from the crash.  Together with the more stable members, they salvage the supplies and began transporting the more injured to the medical bay. He and Faro had fashioned a pulley lift system using some salvaged cable and a hover stretcher to get people up and down easily.

One good thing to come of the destruction, was the tear in the hull of the ship.  Leaving them an easy exit out onto the planet’s surface from the same floor as the mess.  That way supplies and personnel in non-critical condition could easily vacate.

In the state he was, he wasn’t of much use to transport supplies nor people, but simply his presence visibly boosted moral of the crew.  Seamlessly, they fell back into the order of following his and Faro’s directions, within the next three hours, what could be moved, was cleared from the mess.  Able bodied crew members were tasked with setting up shelters just outside of the Destroyer, Faro was with a few others, working as medic on the injured, and Thrawn was left with no task.

He did not have any physical ability to assist in set up or labor, nor enough knowledge of Humans to help in the medical bay, and neither task required him to oversee or direct them.  His crew was intelligent and competent, hence why he’d chosen them to serve aboard the Chimaera, but looking at the aftermath of the panic that had ensued without his guidance, they needed to be more independent.  He’d allowed them all to become too subservient and dependent on him and his leadership, in order to avoid similar fiascoes, he needed to distance himself from their decisions as much as possible.

So, once he felt everything was well in place, he went in search of Bridger.  The boy had not been seen since Thrawn expelled him from his quarters. It wasn’t hard to hide from the few people left on board the Chimaera, but it was much more logical that the boy had instead ventured outside onto the planet.  Thrawn left his crew to their work, and went in search of him, something tucked beneath his arm. Luckily, he need not search long.

Just on the other side of the downed Destroyer, he found Bridger, in the tall grass, practicing his form with a training staff.  One that looked awfully familiar to one from his personal training room. Thrawn had noted its presence in the hallway leading to his office when he’d returned to his quarters earlier.  Obviously, the boy had done his fair share of snooping in all three rooms before Thrawn could get to him.

He did not seem to hear Thrawn approaching, or he chose not to acknowledge him, as he never paused in his moves.  Surprisingly, it seemed to be the former. As he got closer, something about the air seemed more intense, as if the air was thick and alight with static electricity he could feel all around him.  A strange sensation, oddly familiar to him. As well with the change of feel to the air, he found small rocks and pebbles floating, suspended in air along the tops of the grass all around the teen as he cycled through his swings, spins and jabs.

It was truly fascinating, his movements fluid, elegant, yet powerful.  Despite his injuries, he acted as if the staff were nothing but air itself between his fingers.  The longer his routine went, the higher and more numerable the rocks around him became. Just three meters away, Thrawn was able to approach one such rock, inspecting it before his own eyes.  The Force had always been an oddity to him, an enigma, one such mystery that was impossible for him to unravel. Yet still, any information was useful information.

Slowly, he raised a hand, moving his fingers around the rock, feeling the air around it.  He somehow had expected a change in the air just around the rock, more pressure, a wind current, something to signify this Force to be enacting on it.  But there was nothing. His fingers moved just as smoothly through it as any of the rest of the air. Curiously, he moved closer, giving the rock a slight tap with the tips of his finger, too see the impact of his own physical force on an object under the constraints of this invisible Force.

Bridger flinched and jumped suddenly as all the rocks around the boy suddenly dropped from the air.  As if his touch to the rock had startled him the same had he tapped his shoulder. The teen wheeled on Thrawn, raising his staff ready to attack, only to sag once his eyes met Thrawn.  His face fell into a glare as he stood tall, planting the staff in the ground beside him. He was trying to be angry, Thrawn could tell, but he also appeared confused by something.

“What do  _ you _ want.”  He groaned, leaning his weight against the staff.  Thrawn, only now realizing he still had his hand raised to where the rock had been suspended, lowered it to his side.

“I was simply admiring your form and...Force ability.”  He answered, taking a step closer to the boy. Bridger flinched, as if on impulse before relaxing slightly.

“Thanks, you can leave now.”  He turned away, hefting the staff in his hands, giving it a few lazy twirls.  Thrawn’s had his fair share of dealing with individuals dissatisfied with his actions, but never had his actions been so personal and so harmful to an individual.  He could not fault Bridger for being angry or upset with Thrawn. It was, however, frustrating that these feelings were hindering their immediate survival.

“Bridger, you are needed with us.  We have begun to set up camp outside of the downed Star Destroyer, your expertise and skills would be of much use to us.”

“Why don’t you just do it, I don’t have to help you do anything!”  He spat, giving Thrawn a sideways glance.

“I understand that I cannot atone for the actions you feel have damaged you, however, I know-”

“That I feel have damaged me?”  He repeated exasperatedly. “No, what you did to me, to my world  _ was _ damaging, it was terrible!  How can you stand there and act like what you did wasn’t as awful as it really was?!”  He’d turned back on Thrawn, face raising in heat along with his anger.

He moved to speak, to justify what he’d done, remind Bridger that he was working towards a goal, and that goal came at the cost of his world, when the weight at his hip stopped him.  The holo of Eli, reminding him of his far away friend. Instead, he recomposed his thoughts, straightening his back before speaking.

“Because,” he began, “I was blind.  I could not see how much the Empire had twisted me to be nothing more than a tool against its threats.  My actions were my own, and while I felt they had to be taken, I see you do not think so. Perhaps you are right, and I harbor many regrets you know not of.  However, in this moment, they are behind us. I have made mistakes, what you have done is one of your own, and I have no excuse. All we can do now, is work together.”

The boy’s hands were fists at his side, a clear frustration still present in his stance, but he did not shout.  He instead waited, taking a few seconds to compose himself and allow Thrawn’s words to sink in. Slowly, he let out a sigh, his shoulders slumping and fists uncurling.

“What you did, to me, to my family, to my world.  I can never forgive.” He took another deep breath and turned away from Thrawn.

“I do not ask, nor want your forgiveness, Ezra Bridger.  I only wish for our differences to not limit the survival of us and my crew.  They do not deserve to die here.” He reached under his arm, retrieving his peace offering.

Bridger turned back to him, mouth open to respond, but paused as his eyes landed on Thrawn’s outstretched hand.  The stone slab from the section of retaining wall. After he and Faro had stumbled across it resting beside the turbo lift, he had taken it with him, wanting to hand it back to the boy once out of the Star Destroyer.

Bridger eyed the stone, eyes trailing slowly over the curves of the lines that made up the lothcat.  Hesitantly, he planted his staff in the soft earth, and reached for the broken piece. Hands gently caressing the edges, thumbs rubbing at the paint on top.  His eyes softened as his grip tightened around the stone. He took it from Thrawn, holding the weight in his own hands, and rested it against his side.

“Fine.  But this isn’t for you, or for them.  I’ll help because it’s the right thing to do, it’s what my family would do.”

“Noted, thank you.”

Thrawn turned back the way he came, heading back around to where the newly forming encampment was.  After a few steps, he heard Bridger's own following after. Thrawn spared himself a small smile. It was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I missed the update Friday, i really did try but there just wasn't time and I was distracted/busy! I'm back for Tuesday though! I think I'm going to have to go down to just one update a week now, because I ran out of written chapters so I have to really hammer down and write the rest of this fic, and there's no way I can do two in a week. This weekend I'm officially moving into the place I'm going to be living in so after that I should have more time to dedicate to this fic. Thank you everyone for being so patient and understanding, I hope you enjoyed this update!
> 
> I think I'll continue to update on Tuesdays unless enough of you say you prefer the Friday updates!
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	17. Chapter Ten - Eli - Broken Contact

Eli felt all the tense muscles in his body relax like a cascade of cool water over his body as the last prisoner from the manifest came up from the lift.  He held Jessa still in his arm, the girl clinging to him and refusing to let go. It had made it more difficult to help escort the others out, but he wasn’t ready to release her either.  Thankfully, she was the only child down there, the manifest confirming the next youngest to be nineteen. It was a blessing to come across the full list of slaves, to ensure not a single one was left behind.  Standing around the one lift, he counted off every single person to come out, marking them off the list until each and every one was accounted for.

They’d started sending people back to the city settlement utilizing the speeders left up here by the slavers, but some remained with him to make sure everyone made it out.  This including his original group used to storm the command room. He felt slightly silly, holding a shivering girl in one arm, a blaster in the other, prepared to shoot down anyone who wasn’t a prisoner to come from the lift.  No one else seemed to have a problem with that.

He received many thanks and praises from the escaping slaves, their gratitude very apparent and practically overflowing.  And he couldn’t blame them, on a world like this, it’s easy to believe no one will come looking for you when you go missing.  Most of them had truly lost all hope of ever going free. It was despicable, and sadly true. Living out in Wild Space, Eli knew they could never count on anyone but each other to help you out.  No government, no saviors or protectors. Just you and your fellow person. Part of that was why he took so well to his and Thrawn’s work, despite it not being his original choice, the ability to help people who thought no one would ever help, it felt good.  So he took every thanks with a smile and a bow to his head until every person was safe.

Using what speeders were left, they piled as many slaves into them as they could, sending those off to the city, the remaining six with Eli taking the final speeder and driving out a fair distance away, but not too far.  They had one final thing to do here. From this distance, the terrain looked perfectly normal, excluding the single shack that held the lift, the only indication that anything was even there. An inconspicuous shack that hid the horrors that lay below.  The Twi’lek, holding a datapad looked up at him, waiting for his confirmation. Eli nodded, and she pressed the button.

The ground rocked and shook with the explosion, flaming debris erupting from the tiny shack.  Pieces of twisted metal and scorched rock rained down on the area while they rode out the shockwaves.  There’d be nothing left down there for whoever was employing these sick people to find. No ore, no gemstones, no metals, nothing.  Just a destroyed mine, filled with the bodies of despicable slavers, hopefully never to be found again.

Jessa whined, clinging tighter to Eli as the explosion triggered.  He wrapped both arms around the girl, trying his best to soothe her, to little avail.  This only sparked to remind him that he now had a young, orphaned girl, and no idea what to do with her.  He couldn't take her with him, could he? He still needed to find Thrawn, and any manner of danger could lie between them now.  It was no environment for a child to be subjected to. But he also couldn’t just drop her off at an orphanage and abandon her there.  She’s been traumatized, and along with being deaf, he wasn’t sure an orphanage would be well equipped to properly take care of her. Could he trust her with them is another question all together.

For now, he’d comfort her and take care of her until he decided what to do.  They still had to get as far from this planet as they could. They watched the smoldering wreckage for a few moments longer before turning back and heading to the town, in complete silence.  They’d scored a victory, but the pain that place inflicted on its prisoners was so impacting, it’d take more than its destruction to heal that. It was a melancholy celebration for them.

Arriving back at the small settlement, they were met with much higher spirited individuals.  While, when Eli had arrived, it had been a practical ghost town with the quiet cautious inhabitants, there was a practical parade happening in the streets.  Groups of people embraced with teary smiles and others hooting and hollering for no other reason than they could now. Everyone turned and waved to them as they slowly moved through the street, clearly the other freed slaves must have told the story to the townsfolk upon their arrival.

The street was filled with every person in the entire town, lining the sides, making as much noise as they could.  As they passed the canteen Eli had been captured in, a large group of people surrounded some large machine, kicking and beating the metal with long pipes.  It looked just the same as the sonic weapon they’d found inside the command room down in the mines. The one they must have used to originally capture Eli.

It was only a glimpse, in passing and through the crowd of people, but he swore he caught sight of a symbol.  Not one he really recognized from the quick glance, a hexagon maybe, it wasn’t a circle, with mostly black and white.  Maybe it was some criminal organization that was only found out in this region of space. Eli paid it no further mind, they had more pressing matters to deal with.

Pulling up alongside the shipyard, their group began their departure from one another.  Eli passed on his gratitude for their assistance, apologies that no one before him had come to their aid, and wishes of luck to their future.  They all exchanged their own thanks to him, giving him respectful bows before turning on their way. All except the Brubb. He stayed behind, moving in closer to Eli, lowering his voice as best he could, which translated to closer to an inside tone in Humans.

“What will you do with little one?”  He asked, gesturing to Jessa, whose face was buried in Eli’s neck.

“I don’t know.  First I’m going to make sure she’s okay, but from there, not sure.”  He admitted, glancing down at the top of the girl’s head. The Brubb nodded slowly, rubbing his scaly hands together.

“She trusts you Human.  You have protected her, we could not.  Please keep protecting.” Eli nodded slowly at him.

“I will, I swear it.”

“Thank you Human.”  He bowed, very deep, bending to a complete ninety degrees at the waist.  Eli returned it, though much shallower with Jessa clung to his side.

“Good luck.”

“And you.”  With that, he turned and left with the others, leaving Eli and Jessa alone.  Stars what was he going to do?

He began shifting Jessa, ready to set her down so he could talk with her, only for the girl to whine and cling tighter.  If he ended up unable to take her with him, it was going to be near impossible to separate her from him without emotionally damaging her.

“Jessa, I need to talk to you.”  He said, hoping the vibrations from his voice would clue her in.  Thankfully they had. She slowly loosened her grip, not letting go, but pulling back enough to read his lips.  “I’m going to take you into my ship, okay? I have food in there and can get you cleaned up, are you okay with that?”  She watched his lips carefully before her eyes darted up to meet his. Slowly she nodded. He smiled at her, hefting her a bit higher on his hip and making for his ship.

“That’s an Empire ship!” She gasped catching a glance at his Lambda shuttle.  “I thought the Good Guys beat the Empire?” She looked at him, holding on a bit tighter again, clearly nervous about the ship.

“They did, the Empire is gone.  That, is my ship.” Jessa looked confused, but not that she didn’t understand what he had said.

“But, the Empire is the Bad Guys, they’re Evil!  You’re not a Bad Guy.”

“You’re right, I’m not a Bad Guy.  I’m only using that ship, see all the pretty pictures all over it?  One of the Good Guys painted those for me.” She pulled back and gave the ship another look,  Slowly she began to smile.

“I like the kitty!”  She exclaimed, pointing to the large lothcat.

“Me too.”  He chuckled.

Now beside the ship, he rubbed off some of the dust over the hatch release, placing his bare palm against it.  The sensors took a second to confirm him through the dust and cuts on his hand, but soon lit green and the hatch released.  Jessa let out a sound of awe, looking all around the ship and he carried her inside. He moved over to the cot he had set up, and began to detach her from him.  Yet again, she whined trying to hold tighter.

“Jessa,” he began, “let go, I’m not leaving.”  She hesitated, clearly still not wanting to let go, but slowly she did, allowing him to sit her on the bed.  Once she was sat down, she let out a small gasp.

“It’s really comfy!”  She pressed down on the thin bedding, and the flat pillow, watching her hands sink slightly down into the fluff.  He knelt down slightly, to get the two of them eye to eye.

“Yeah, it’s a lot better than what was down there…”  He chuckled sadly. “Now, I know you’re very hungry, but I can’t let you eat a lot, because your tummy can’t handle it and will make you sick, so I’m just going to give you a ration bar right now.”  She nodded slowly, looking slightly dejected but didn’t argue.

He turned, digging through his supplies, pulling out a ration bar and a canteen, handing them both to Jessa.  Her face lit up seeing the ration bar, happily taking it from Eli’s hand, taking three big bites. He grabbed her hand, pulling it away from her mouth.

“Slower, you don’t wanna get sick.”  She stuck out her lower lip, the first childish action he’d seen from her since meeting her, but she did listen.  Chewing the bites in her mouth slower, swallowing it one big gulp.

“I won’t get sick, I feel fine!”  She objected, but didn’t disobey him.

“Your tummy is really hurt from not eating enough for so long.  It’s really tiny now, and if you eat too much, your tummy won’t be able to hold it all and you’ll get sick, trust me.”  She didn’t seem to want to follow until the final part of his sentence. ‘Trust me’. Clearly, she’s more willing to trust him than to trust logic, and she did as he asked, eating the rest of the bar slowly, before moving onto the water, doing much the same, tiny sips at a time.

He allowed her half the canteen before taking it away.  He knew she was dehydrated and malnourished, and wanted nothing more than to allow her to stuff herself silly.  But he’s had plenty of experience in freeing slaves and mistreated prisoners from both the Empire and Expansionary Defense Fleet, they had to take it slowly or just end up making everything worse.  However, he also wasn’t a doctor, and Jessa could have plenty of health problems he wouldn’t be able to diagnose let alone treat on his own. That will be their next step, getting her to a hospital.

“Jessa.”  He grabbed her attention after setting aside the canteen.  “Do you want to wash up?” Surprisingly, she nodded in affirmation.  Eli always knew children to dislike bathing, though, she most likely had months of grime layered on her skin.  “Do you need help to use the shower?” She shook her head negatively. He picked her up from the cot, setting her down on the floor, leading her to the refresher.  “If anything happens, or you need help, just holler, I’ll hear you.” She nodded again. “Leave your clothes here, I’ll wash them best I can, don’t worry, no one will peek on you.”  She moved into the refresher, the door sliding close behind her, and Eli let out a sigh.

This was a good start, she was fed and they were working on re-hydrating her.  She would be clean, if only he had clothes for her to wear. He moved over to one of the lockers, looking at his own clothes he’d brought for this trip.  He had a few civilian shirts he’d brought, long tan ones. They’d be extremely large on her, but it was better than nothing, and he could cut it to fit her better.  He took out the top one, inspecting it for any stains or holes, before deeming it decent. Back in front of the refresher door, Jessa’s clothing was in a pile outside the door.  He traded the pile for the shirt and took the clothes to the tiny kitchenette. Nothing more than a tiny sink and counter oven for reheating foods or military meals.

He checked her shirt first, the thing littered with tears and holes, covered in dirt and dust, and a few stains he hoped weren’t blood.  It was too soiled for her to continue wearing, he tossed it into the trash. Her shorts fared a bit better, a tear at the bottom of one of the legs being the only one, but had the same dirt and dust treatment as the shirt, he may be able to salvage it.  And finally, she needed her undergarments, so he filled the sink, using soap to make it bubbly and dropped both clothing items in. She had small sandals she had been wearing, not good protection in a mine, but at least she had something protecting the bottoms of her feet.

Leaving the two clothing items to soak a moment, he went and retrieved a pair of his socks.  They also would be too large for her, but it was better than nothing. He placed them on top of the shirt outside the refresher and returned to the sink.  He did his best to scrub the clothing clean, without the proper tools it wasn’t the most effective, but seeing how dirty the water became, it seemed to be working to a degree.  He had to empty and refill the sink again once the water turned completely brown. Judging them to be as good as he could get them, he wrung them out tightly, then gently spread them out in the counter oven.

It was unconventional, odd, and not the best decision, but it was all he had.  Laying the shorts out completely he ran the cooker for a few seconds, then turned it over and ran it again.  He repeated this a few times with both clothing items until they were mostly dry, if still a bit damp, and laid them out with the other clothes in front of the refresher door.  Then moved away to allow the girl her privacy.

After a few minutes he heard the refresher shut off, the door open, then close again.  He waited as she probably dried and dressed herself, and within a few minutes, the door opened again and she stepped out.  He wanted to laugh, seeing the tiny girl practically smothered in his shirt. The bottom of his shirt nearly drug on the floor from how long it was on her, the socks flopping as she walked, hanging off her feet.  He only smiled and went to her.

Kneeling, he grabbed the edge of the shirt, gathering the extra material until it only hung just below her belt, and tied the material into a knot so it stayed.  He then picked her up, setting her on the cot again, and rolled the ends of the socks down her legs until they were tighter on her feet, repeating the action with the long sleeves so he could see her hands.

“Feel better?”  He asked, giving her a smile.  She returned the smile, nodding.

“Yes, a lot better.  Thank you Mr. Eli. You’re really nice…”  Her eyes fell downcast, her feet nervously playing with each other.

“I’m sure you’re worried what happens from here.”  He started, tilting her head up to see hips lips. “But don’t worry, I’m going to take care of everything and do what’s best for you.  How about you take a nap, I’ll be right here when you wake up, you need to rest.” She looked a bit sheepish and still very much nervous, but a yawn interrupted her thoughts, and she nodded slowly, rubbing at her eyes.

“Okay…”  Her voice was so quiet, her thoughts had to be plaguing her, but her own body’s exhaustion won out as she began to lay down on the cot.  He helped tuck her in, pull up the blanket, making sure she was comfortable. All the while, her eyelids seemed to be getting heavier and heavier.

He waited with her until he was certain she’d fallen asleep.  She looked much better now after eating and bathing. Her skin before had a grayish tint to it, but now, clear of all the dust and dirt, was a warm smooth brown.  He hair much the same, looked much clearer and healthier than when he’d first seen her. Though it could use a comb, but that could wait until she woke up, it seemed naturally very curly, and looked good on the young girl.

Standing up, he moved back to the cockpit, to give her privacy and get them the Hell off this planet.  Unfortunately, they really were on the very edge of the Outer Rim, the nearest planet along this trajectory was in Wild Space, which would make finding a well equipped Human hospital difficult.  The planet Garel was nearby, a decently sized planet with a large Human population. To find the help and supplies he’d need, he really had no choice but to back track. With a sigh, he set out to priming the engines for take off.

It took a bit longer than usual, to get all the systems online and dump the collective sand and dust from the engines, but soon he was lifting off, glad to be leaving this nightmare behind him.  It was a shame that through all of this, he hadn’t gotten any new leads towards Thrawn, just wasted time. He paused, taking a glance behind him at Jessa sound asleep in the other room. The stop wasn’t a waste, but for his mission at hand, he was right back where he started when he landed.

Puncturing into space he let out a tight breath.  Finally feeling free from those Slavers, from that weapon.  Thinking of it again, he raised a hand to his ear, as if he could still feel the pain.  He programmed the navicomputer, allowing it to plot his jump, waiting for the green light, and punched it.  He never thought the swirls of Hyperspace could be so comforting to him. Relaxing back in his chair, he slumped, kicking his feet out underneath the console.

Something from the corner of his eye caught his attention, a blinking light of his com resting on the ship console.  He had a message, how did he miss that? And who in the stars could be contacting  _ him _ ?  Not really wanting to, he sat back up in his chair, seeing he looked as presentable given the circumstances and played the message.

It was a holo Thrass who materialized before him.  The elegant blue man looking perturbed as the message began.

_ “Eli, you have been away for two weeks now, and I have not heard word from you.  I am becoming concerned that we could lose you as well out there, I require an update on your status, both as the Syndic sponsoring your search, and as a friend.  Please contact me.” _

Eli flinched at his words, completely forgetting that the longer he went without updating his status, the more likely his demise would be to Thrass and the other Chiss.  In his attempt to not want to show he hadn’t accomplished anything and show his weaknesses, he’d instead open the door to worse thoughts regarding his fate and his mission.  On top of the left message, there were three missed transmission requests since landing on this planet. He needed to make contact again, to, at the very least, allay Thrass’ fears.

Feeling his anxieties rise, he keyed on the com, beaming out a transmission request in return to the Ascendancy.  It took awhile for the signal to reach its destination and the connection to be made, which was understandable seeing the vast distance between the two sources.  From there, the wait was minimal before the link was established and the transmission channel opened.

_ “Eli?” _  The familiar Chiss called as he materialized in the holo before him.

“ _ Hey Thrass. _ ”  He chuckled nervously in Cheunh.  “ _ Sorry I missed your transmissions, I’m okay, just had gotten a bit...sidetracked. _ ”

Thrass physically sighed over the holo, placing a hand over his chest.   _ “I’m glad.  I was worried about you.” _  His relieved response came back in the same language.

“ _ Again, I’m sorry.  I didn’t feel I had found anything important to report back with so I put it off, and I’ve been away from the com systems the past few days… _ ”  He trailed off nervously rubbing the back of his neck.  He was hoping Thrass wouldn’t ask about why he was away and they could just move on from it swiftly.

_ “Away, why?” _  Damn.

“ _ Well, I’m safe now but, I may have been captured by slavers and- _ ”

_ “Eli Vanto!” _  Chiss didn’t shout, not really unless provoked to the extreme, Thrass however did raise his tone slightly enough that it wasn’t a shout but was effective as one.   _ “I swear you are as bad as my brother, you disappear for as long as you have without status updates because you don’t feel you’ve accomplished enough, then you get yourself in mortal danger while your position is unknown, and I know you had no intent on telling me this had I not asked.  Let me guess, you liberated them, didn’t you, how many have you taken aboard?” _

Was Eli really so alike Thrawn in action now that he’d become that predictable?  Or was Thrass actually that good? Eli was prepared to believe it was both. He was both embarrassed and impressed.

“ _ Just one.  There was a little girl there Thrass, they all needed my help and she has nowhere to go, she’s orphaned. _ ”  The last part got to the Chiss, Eli could see some of his frustrations die down.  He was no stranger to the plight of an orphan.

_ “What do you plan to do with her?  You mission is not the best place for a non-Chiss child.” _  Eli fought off a scowl.  He hated how he specified non-Chiss children, like it was acceptable to subject Chiss children to dangerous space missions.  He knew that to Thrass and most Chiss, it was normal, but it still rubbed Eli the wrong way.

“ _ I don’t know.  I only just left the planet.  I’m going to get her some medical aid, but from there, I’m not sure. _ ”  Thrass hummed thoughtfully, subconsciously rubbing his chin with his thumb and forefinger.

_ “This complicates things.” _  He paused, a thought seeming to come to him.  He glanced back up at Eli, eyes softening.  _ “And how are you doing, being around her.  I’m sure it must remind you of-” _

“ _ Thrass. _ ”  Eli hissed, cutting him off.  “ _ I am fine.  Let me give you my report. _ ”  The Chiss didn’t argue so Eli continued, relaying with as much detail he felt necessary about his journey so far.

_ “It was beneficial for you to run into this Sabine Wren.  Without her you may have spent more time searching for clues.” _  Thrass spoke as Eli finished.

“ _ Yes, I was lucky enough to catch her. _ ”

_ “Eli, this is excellent progress.  I know you and Thrawn have a tendency to hold yourselves to a higher standard than others, you less so than he, but you have accomplished much already.  Regardless of what you’ve found or not, you’re so much closer to him than we were, and I thank you.” _  Then, much to Eli’s surprise, Thrass gave him a shallow, respectful bow.  He was so shocked by it, he just had to sit there and watch.

“ _ I-I...thank you Thrass.  I’m doing my best to find him. _ ”

_ “I know you are, I eagerly await more updates, please do keep them consistent, with or without new information.  I worry for you, as your friend, and brother.” _  He gave Eli a small smile, Eli chuckling back as he returned it.

“ _ I promise Thrass, I will send more status updates, you have my sworn oath. _ ”

_ “That seems unnecessary, to swear an oath to me, but nonetheless, I shall hold you to this bond.  Stay safe Eli, I wish not to lose two brothers. Good luck with the child.” _

“ _ I will, thank you.  Farewell. _ ”  He gave Thrass a small bow with his head, and the transmission terminated.

Eli sighed loudly, slumping against his chair, practically melting into the seat.  The first time Thrass had said brother, he thought it was simply a nod to the fact he was legally married to Thrawn.  But the second time, no that for certain was genuine. Thrass truly viewed Eli as his brother, and it warmed his heart to no end.

Going to Chiss space, Eli was fully prepared to the fact he’d never be fully accepted by them, rejected at worst, hesitantly trusted at best.  But, here was Thrass, a syndic of the Eighth Ruling Family, meant to represent the family in one person, accepting Eli not only into Chiss society, but going as far to accept him as family.

Tears sprung to his eyes, their hot prick forcing him to try and blink them away.  This was a feeling he’d never even dared to hope for, and now he had it. A brother, a friend, a child, a husband, things he hardly thought possible, and he’s had them all.  A single tear made it past his incessant blinking, sliding slowly down his cheek. He wiped it away, smiling sadly down at the wet spot on his hand. If he fought hard and this is what he got, then he’d fight ten times harder to keep it all.  He failed Tiviza, he wouldn’t fail Jessa, or Thrass, or Thrawn.

He still had some time while Jessa slept and in the jump to Garel.  This time could be well optimized for him to begin some education.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We return to our regularly scheduled accidental dad Eli programming. Hope y'all enjoyed! <3
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	18. Memories - Ezra - Expedition

"If we wait too long, we could very well spell our own demise!"  Karyn Faro argued. They had all been discussing for a while now, and Ezra was beginning to get antsy.

It had been maybe a month and a half since they'd all ended up stranded on this planet.  That time having been used to set up camp, one large enough for all of them, and see what equipment survived to try and call for help.  So far to no avail. They still had people working on that, Ezra wasn't too hopeful that they'd get anything out of it.

The dilemma now lay with their limited survival rations.  While a normal, fully stocked Star Destroyer had enough supplies to last it's full crew up to two years, this was an outlying circumstance.  A large portion of the supplies were lost in the crash, either in the hull breach, from the impact, or the following fires, it didn't matter. They were gone.  Now, they had less than half left.  There were less people to feed than a full Star Destroyer crew, which was a bit promising, but they had the supply officer run the numbers and put their lasting supplies at about a standard year.  Only for them to come back, embarrassingly state that number to be closer to eight months.

Karyn had mumbled to Thrawn something along the lines of 'that wouldn't have happened if  _ he _ were still here.' when that happened and Thrawn had shot her a glare.  That confused the Hells out of Ezra but he never got a chance to ask before the pair sped off on some other task.

So now there was a group meeting about what to do to prepare for when they ran out of supplies.  And it had been going on for ages. There was Thrawn, Karyn, Ezra, and two officers Ezra didn't bother remembering the names of.  The two officers kept arguing that they should wait until they had nearly used up what supplies they had before going in search of more, their reasoning being that should they be rescued it'd be a wasteful and dangerous endeavor.  Karyn, on the other hand, advocated for instead finding alternatives now in case they have difficulties finding any or they lose the supplies they have now in some accident, saying that they couldn't hold out for a rescue they weren't sure was coming.  Ezra and Thrawn hadn't said anything. Thrawn seemed to want to hear all the arguments first before putting in his opinions. Ezra, he just didn't care.

The only reason he was even a part of this meeting was at Thrawn's request for being their 'resident Force expert'. He should have just run off to the woods until nightfall, it would have been more enjoyable.  For now, he just sat slumped against a rock while the other four huddled around some diagram they'd drawn in the dirt.

"And what if we lose people out there, rescue could find us and we'd be even more men down than we already are!"  One of the officers countered Karyn, his deep voice raising slightly in pitch.

"There's no way to be certain that anyone is coming, we must plan for the worst possible scenario.  If we wait and something should happen to what supplies we have, we'll most likely perish on this world!"  She shot back at him.

"Grand Ad- I mean, Thrawn, what do you think we should do?"  The second officer chimed in, drawing all attention to Thrawn.  The man looked them all over, his eyes pausing on Ezra.

"Mr. Bridger, what are your thoughts?"  The damned blue bastard asked. He just rolled his eyes, making a big show if sitting up, pushing off his rock, which was more comfortable than this conversation, and sighed.

"I don't know and I don't care.  Go look for stuff now I guess, I'm tired of sitting around anyway."  He answered, not missing how the other three gave him a look. Except Thrawn, who Ezra didn't think had other facial expressions anyway.

"I agree with Faro and Bridger."  Thrawn said after a short pause, shocking all four of the rest of them.  "We should be preparing now, we do not have a solid enough grasp on this planet's animals and weather systems, any number of things could occur that would result in the loss of our supplies, we need alternatives sooner rather than later."  The two officers traded looks, the first sputtering out a counter argument.

"B-But sir, don't you think rescue is on the way?!"  Thrawn's eyes narrowed slightly.

“Not from the Empire, I do not think so.”

“Why not?!  You’re a Grand Admiral!  The Empire needs people like you.”  Intriguingly, Thrawn’s mood seemed to sour at his words.

“With the loss of Lothal, my usefulness to the Emperor no longer outweighs the opposition I would oppose to his plans.  The Emperor no longer needs me, therefore, he will be sending no aid.”

“Wh-But, sir that doesn't-”  Thrawn shot the man a cold look that had him shutting his mouth right up.

“The only possible rescue we will find will most likely come from passing by travelers or smugglers, or Bridger's band of Rebel, neither of which will be good for us, nor soon.  We shall plan an expedition to search for more food and water soon, I shall lead it. I will need at least three stormtroopers, and preferably Bridger, should he be willing.”  All eyes turned back to him and he put up his hands defensively.

“Whoa whoa, hold on.  I’m going nowhere with you!”  He stood from his rock, feeling he didn’t have good arguing power from the ground.

“You did say you were getting ‘tired of sitting around’.”  Thrawn, oh so helpfully pointed out.

“I’d rather go alone than with you and some Stormtroopers!”

“Yes, Thrawn, I’ll go with you in his stead.”  Karyn jumped in, beginning to make her Ezra’s favorite.

“No, you hold the most authority over the group, in my absence, they shall need you to lead them.  As well, I will need Bridger’s Force expertise.” Ezra rolled his eyes at the blue man.

“Just because I got us here doesn't mean I can just use the Force and get us away, or do whatever it is you want me to use the Force for!  That’s not how the Force works!”

“I have worked with Jedi in the past, I have noted their abilities most useful in unfamiliar environments, even the inexperienced.”  Ezra felt his face flush with heat, rising anger mixing with embarrassment.

“Hey, I am not inexperienced!”

“You are just a boy.”  One of the officers interjected, Ezra shooting him a sharp look.

“Alright fine!  I’ll go with you, show you just how experienced I really am!”  Thrawn’s lips quirked upwards slightly, not really a smile but something closer to it than his usual blank expression.

“Excellent.  Faro, please go seek volunteers from what’s left of our stormtrooper accompaniment.  Richter, speak with our supply officer and have them prepare provisions to last a group of five for a week.  Hyde, go to our current weapons expert and acquire enough blasters for all of us.” Thrawn had jumped into his orders immediately, pointing to Karyn, the first officer and the second officer respectively.  The entire group shouted a ‘yes sir’, before breaking off to their respective duties.

“If something happens out there, don’t count on me to protect you.”  Ezra shot at him, taking up his staff and spinning it in his hands lazily.

“I would not expect you to, Bridger.”  Then he turned away, following after Karyn, leaving Ezra standing there, wondering what he just got himself into.

* * *

 

Despite another week having past before the day of their expedition launch, Ezra did not feel prepared.  It was one thing living together in a large camp, where if he wanted to he could avoid Thrawn, or escape people if he felt the need to be away.  But being in a close group with four Imperials, including Thrawn, there was nowhere to run off to.

Their group consisted of five, there was himself, Thrawn, and three Storm Troopers, Gile, Jexie, and Yuter.  Ezra hadn’t ever spoken with the three before, but apparently they had been the three best of the volunteers.  They also seemed just as displeased with Ezra being on this mission as he was with them. Fair was fair. Each member had a backpack with rations and water for themselves, along with sleeping gear, an emergency medpack, rain ponchos, and a lamp.  Thrawn had said tasking any one person with their supplies could result in them all dying should they lose said individual. It made sense, but Ezra felt it took away any incentive to want to protect one another. Not that he was going to anyway.

To add further to Ezra’s dread, they embarked.  Thrawn took point, Ezra in the back with the three troopers in between them.  That and an extra few meters of buffer Ezra put between them. It felt childish, to avoid Thrawn like a hurt child on the playground.  But his feelings ran deeper than that of a petty child squabble. So yes, if he was forced to work with Thrawn, he could at least allow himself some comfort by limiting their contact.

That’s how they began.  Thrawn mapping out the land as they walked on one of the salvaged datapads that ran on solar power.  Ezra trailing in the back, still wondering what he was doing here. They haven't found any predators worth worrying about on this planet.  Most animals they had seen were much too small to be of any kind of threat to them and seeing how long they’d been here without any contact, Ezra didn’t believe there were any intelligent beings on the planet either.

So this was really just the most boring hike through the woods ever.  If it was just him by himself, or with anyone from his family, he’s sure he would have loved it.  But being forced to follow a quartet of Imperials, that took out most of the appeal. The nature was nice, however, he had to admit.  The high standing trees, flourished with green, and how the light filtered through the leaves, dancing across his face while he walked, giving him reason to smile.  Their tramping around had scared off any nearby animals, unfortunately, but it was good so that none of the troopers shot at any. He always felt bad for how the lothcats got treated by Imperials.  He looked up to glare at the back of one of the troopers, Gile, or maybe Jexie, didn’t matter.

“Bridger, what is bothering you?  Anything we should be concerned about?”  Thrawn asked from the very front of their line, not even sparing a glance behind him at Ezra.  He faltered in his step for a second before regaining himself and taking a few quick strides to catch back up.

“Uh, what?”  He asked, not bothering to hide his confusion.

“Your walk, it is hard on the ground and sloppy, meaning you are upset about something.  Care to share?” That stuck up know it all prick was really starting to get on his nerves.

“How are you so certain it wasn’t someone else?!  Like...Yutes?!” He asked, smugly, pointing at said trooper.

“It’s Yuter.”  Yuter called back, but Ezra didn’t acknowledge him.

“Because, Bridger,” Thrawn began, actually turning his head enough to glance at him a moment, “all Imperial stormtroopers are trained to walk with a specific stride and step.  All three men have been walking the exact same way, and in step with one another. Your steps stand out above them.” Ezra hissed a curse under his breath. Of course they do.

“There’s nothing wrong.  All quiet back here.” He sighed, rolling his eyes, and making a conscious effort to mimic the troopers walk.  Thrawn didn’t answer and they all continued on in silence. This was going to be a long trip.

The first night went as well as Ezra could expect.  Once they were deep enough into the woods, the tree leaves woven so tightly together that light fought hard just to make it to the ground.  When the sun began to set, they were forced to stop for the night with the loss of their visibility. The Imperials began setting up their bedrolls, Ezra moving a bit farther out before setting his own up.  He still couldn’t trust them.

Oddly, Thrawn didn’t begin setting up along with them.  Ezra watched him from his own bedroll, eyes following his every movement.  While the other three slipped into their rolls, Thrawn just sat on the ground, working on something on his data pad.  Ezra waited another five minutes, to see if the blue man would do anything else, get settled to sleep for the night, but he didn’t, and Ezra’s curiosity began growing.

“Aren’t you going to sleep like the others?”  He asked, drawing Thrawn’s attention to him. The alien scanned him slowly before turning back to his datapad.

“Someone must stay watch.”  Was his only response, apparently thinking that was good enough.

“You need to sleep sometime.”  Thrawn scrolled through something on his pad before answering him.

“I do not.  Chiss require far less sleep than Humans do.”  Ezra sat up from his bedroll, brows furrowing at Thrawn.

“Chiss?”

“My people, they are the Chiss.  I am a Chiss.” He gave Ezra a look, like he were being too stupid.

“Um, okay.  Never heard of them before.”  Thrawn nodded slowly at his words, going back to his datapad.

“You most likely wouldn’t have.  We live out in the Unknown Regions, and never traveled very far into your region of space.”  Without even realizing it, Ezra climbed out of his bedroll as Thrawn spoke, kneeling on top of it, his curiosity only getting more vicious.

“How does that happen?  Shouldn’t someone know about Chiss?”  Thrawn’s lips moved, into something that might be considered a smile, if you used a really vague and broad definition for a smile.

“Some do, most being through old stories and legends.  Very few people have seen Chiss in the years before my time in the Empire.”  Thrawn was offering a lot more information than Ezra thought he would, and it made him mildly suspicious.  Why is Thrawn suddenly so open and honest? Maybe it was some trick, or a trap, but Ezra was getting answers, so he should at least take advantage of it.

“What happens to the people who do see Chiss?”  Thrawn’s fingers paused over his screen, and he turned to look at Ezra, actually looking confused.  Ezra shouldn’t have felt pride about that, but he did anyway.

“How do you mean?”

“Like, do Chiss, kill those people, wipe their memories, or kidnap them and turn them into zombies?!”

“Of course not.  We do nothing to them.  Our presence is not meant to be a secret, simply our location and...traditions.”  Ezra scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“That’s a little boring.”

“Did you think my people were murderous beings?”

“A little, I mean you are one of them.”  That shut Thrawn up, his attention diving directly back into his datapad, not sparing Ezra another glance.  He wasn’t done with his prying just yet though. Plus, he wasn’t tired enough to sleep.

He stood up, walking closer to Thrawn, glancing over his shoulder at his datapad.  The screen lighting settings were too low for him to make much out this far away. So, he took a few more steps, getting closer, and peering harder.

“What are you doing?”  He finally asked, less than a meter away from Thrawn.

“Taking the data I’ve gathered from our scouting and compiling a conscience map with notes and topical features.  Then, I’m going to run simulations to predict what sort of terrain will be in the adjacent areas.” Ezra was more hoping to snoop on Thrawn making evil plans or something of the sort.  Figures he’s doing the exact, boring thing he should be.

He shuffled closer, finally seeing some of the data Thrawn was inputting and losing immediate interest.  He turned his attention to anything else. Thrawn had a blaster strapped to his hip, his cloak he wore had a tear in it from when he tried helping excavate the Chimaera, nothing interesting there.  But something else rested on his hip, something strangely familiar. It was the holodisk of that mystery man Ezra found in Thrawn’s quarters. He’s been walking around with it? How long had he been doing that?

“Hey, can I ask you something?”  Thrawn glanced at him from the corner of his eye before darting back to his datapad.

“You have been asking questions just fine without asking for permission first.”  Thrawn replied, Ezra surprised to catch amusement in his words.

“Yeah yeah, whatever.  Anyway, who is that man in your holo?”

The air around them shifted in an instant.  Thrawn dropped his datapad, his hand snapping down to his waist, covering the metal disk, as harsh eyes locked with Ezra’s.  He frowned deeply, lip twitching like he wanted to do far worse but was holding it back. Instead of retreating, Ezra held his ground, staring down Thrawn’s glowing red eyes with no fear.

“That,” Thrawn began, voice low, just barely above a hiss, “is none of your concern Ezra Bridger.  Leave yourself out of my personal matters.”

“Why are you so defensive about it, just tell me!”  If something so small could elicit such a strong response out of the most calm man Ezra’s ever met, there was something big behind it.  In the time they’d spent on this planet, Ezra hadn’t forgotten about it, his desire to know more getting larger each day that progressed.  He had asked Karyn about it once, her only response was ‘If Thrawn hasn’t told you, then I won’t either’.

“Have you no concept of privacy?”

“Yeah, but we’re also stuck together on an unknown planet and need each other to survive, so I don’t think privacy matters all that much.”  They stared each other down, glowing red battling with bright blue. Ezra sure wasn’t going to relent, and he knew Thrawn wasn’t planning on it either.

“Go to sleep Bridger.”  Thrawn spoke darkly, not even blinking.

“Not until you answer me.”  He shot back, smirking at the alien.  Thrawn wasn’t getting out of this one.  The sound of Thrawn pulling out his blaster had that smirk faltering.

“I am not above stunning you, Bridger.  Return to your bedroll.”

“Fine!  The more you act like this, the more I want to know, and I will find out.”  He stood up tall, eyeing Thrawn’s blaster that was in fact pointed at his stomach.  “Figures you’d use unnecessary threats and violence to get your way, guess people like you really don’t change.”  He walked back to his bedroll, glaring at Thrawn his entire way back.

Once he reached his roll, Thrawn lowered his blaster, turning back to pick up his datapad.  Ezra, mood soured, huffed, slipping back into his bedroll, and turning his back to the Chiss.  Thrawn was and always would be the same evil man he knew him to be. If Ezra was lucky, something would come along to get Thrawn killed on this expedition

They didn’t talk the next two days.

They continued walking, Thrawn in the front, Ezra in the back.  When they stopped for the night, Ezra would turn his back to the group and lay there until sleep took him.  Thrawn didn’t try pressing him to talk or interact, and the troopers couldn’t care less what he did. But that was only three days down, there were still seven more to go.  This was taking too long.

The fourth day had them breaching the other side of the forest, entering into a large grassland.  It was a bit of a relief, to be out from under the trees, feeling full sun rays on his face was relaxing.  The warmth against his skin, combating the chill of the stronger winds that came with the fourth day. That was odd, even before leaving the forest, he could see the swift winds rustling the high branches of the trees overhead.  Since entering the grassland, the wind only got stronger.

Thrawn had called out to keep an eye on shifting weather patterns, and the high possibility of rainfall today.  He really wasn’t looking forward to getting soaking wet while they trek around in the wilderness. The rains on this planet were heavier than average storms on Lothal.  They’d experienced the downpour a few times since crashing here, and it wasn’t fun. Even less fun with no cover.

Thankfully, it seemed the rain would hold out for a bit longer.  They made it past midday without a single drop. They also hadn’t found anything all day, the grassland area appearing to be barren of just about everything except grass.  And plenty of insects. He’d swatted away his fair share, though the others got it far worse than him. He’d heard the three troopers curse more than enough times to know they had practical star charts worth of insect bites forming on their skin.

The grassland was nothing more than a change of scenery giving them the same results.  Nothing. Their only hope now was for the ever darkening clouds overhead to hold on just long enough until they made it back to another patch of trees.  Their thick leaves would be much appreciated in a rainstorm.

Of course, in this trip through Ezra’s personal Hell, he can’t even have one nice thing.  Not an hour later, the clouds let loose. The downpour came all at once, no warning, no slow start, just the sudden drenching power pelting them all before they could take a glance upwards.  Ezra with the three troopers let out a chorus of curses, trying futilely to cover themselves from the rain. All four of them stopping to whip out their rain ponchos, what good it did them, it was far too late.  Thrawn, who was always wearing that cloak, simply pulled up his hood and waited for them.

Of course things would go from bad to worse.  With the whipping wind and the unrelenting rain, they had a proper storm on their hands.  But there was nothing they could do. They had no shelter, no cover, and nowhere to retreat to.  The woods they left were too far behind them now, having been far out of sight for hours now, their only hope was to keep going forward.  So that’s what they did.

As much as Ezra wanted to keep his distance, he hated his clothes clinging to his skin from the rain water more.  He picked up the pace, walking alongside the others as they hurriedly walked across the open grassland. It was impossible to hear any of them speak if they were, the winds having only gotten stronger, the howl drowning out any other sound but the wet stomps their feet in the drenched grass.

Twenty minutes into the storm, they got their first crack of thunder.  He didn’t see the flash, his head having been downturn to keep the water from his eyes, but he was sure it was there.  From there they only got louder and more frequent. The last thing he wanted was to get struck by lightning after all the other things he’s survived.

After fifteen more minutes of walking, Ezra, very literally, ran into Thrawn.  The man had stopped suddenly, and while looking down, Ezra collided with his back with an oof.  He didn’t respond to Ezra hitting him, instead yelling over the winds and pointing at something ahead of them.  He peered around the tall Chiss, following his hand, and his eyes widened. In the distance, there was clearly some sort of flowing water, a river or a lake.  Either way, it was something to break up the monotony of their past days, as well as being something very important and the whole reason for this stupid expenditure in the first place.

Not waiting for the others, Ezra took off for it, taking point.  Belatedly, he might have heard the others swiftly following, but he didn’t care.  His suffering Thrawn’s company won’t be for nothing if they’ve discovered a freshwater drinking source.  It was a four day walk from their crash site, but they could move camp, or have some sort of system to bring back plenty of water as they needed it.

Nearing the water, Ezra was shocked to find it was both a river and a lake, with odd structures separating them.  Some wood and other forest debris were piled together at the opening to the lake and the beginning of the river, stifling the water flow.  And it was large, spanning the entire width of the opening, maybe one hundred meters, and standing maybe two meters tall. The river in the near empty river bed looked barely half a meter deep.  At the far end of the lake, was a similar structure, limiting the amount of water from that river entering the lake.

What could have made these, were there actually sentient people on this planet?  Leaning in closer to inspect the structure, it didn’t look human made, or, as it were made by people.  More like an animal construct, but why would an animal make structures like this?

The others finally caught up with him, Thrawn coming to stand beside him first, then the other three jogging up one by one.

“Fascinating.”  Thrawn spoke, Ezra finally able to hear him now that they were side by side.  “Jexie, take a water sample to test its bacteria levels.” All of them walked around closer to the lake as Thrawn spoke.  Ezra turned his attention back on the structure.

With the others busy, he decided to take a closer look.  Sliding down the bank of the river bed, he landed in the water, his already soaked pants barely noticing.  Like he thought, the water really was shallow here, he wondered what it used to be like before this thing was here to stop the free water flow.  It had to be impressive, judging by how wide it was.

Trudging through the cold water, he got closer to the wet wood structure.  He touched it lightly, able to peel away the bark easily with his bare hand.  The wood has been here for a while, that was obvious, but giving it a few experimental pushes, he deemed the structure very sturdy.  If an animal had made this, it was very impressive. He moved a bit further down, closer to the center of the river bed, finding the structure more interesting as it remained uniform despite seeming randomly constructed.

A bright flash caught his attention, followed quickly by a clap of thunder.  He glanced up to see Thrawn standing over him at the top of the bank, trying to say something.  He started moving back a bit closer, shouting over the wind,

“What?!”

Thrawn kept shouting, waving at Ezra to come closer.  When he didn’t respond, Thrawn quickly descended the bank into the riverbed himself.  He approached Ezra, shouting over the storm, and only as he was within two meter’s distance could Ezra finally begin to hear him.

“-mustn’t dwell here, the dam could be unstable.  Come.” He reached forward, grabbing Ezra by the forearm, seemingly worried, which was impossible, Thrawn didn’t emote.

“What are you talking about?  And let go of me!” He shouted back, wrenching his arm free from Thrawn, but followed him as they made for the bank again.

“The storm is getting worse, we cannot trust this dam to hold under a torrent of water should one fail.”  Another flash of lightning lit up the sky, this one had to be close, as they both could feel the ground shake from wherever it struck.  Accompanied with the rolling thunder, came something much louder, and much closer. They both stopped, looking up at the top of the apparent damn, seeing a slow trickle over the top of water, and from there all hell broke loose.

Water cascaded over the edge of the dam, in large punishing waves, crashing down on them both.  Thrawn grabbed his arm again, pulling him along closer to the bank. It was much harder to get through the waterfall from the lake, but they were making slow progress.  The lightning must have his the first dam at the end of the other river, releasing all that water to overflow the lake.

The water just kept coming down, harder and harder.  He couldn’t see through all the water, and could only hope Thrawn could see enough to lead them back to the bank safely.  To his side, he heard cracking, at first quietly, before the sound came a bit louder. Just as he realized this dam was on the verge of falling apart as well, it burst.  Water spewed forth, splinters and snapped logs getting swept away in the quickly flowing water. Ezra lost his footing against the slippery bottom, falling onto his stomach, the only thing keeping him from being swept away, was Thrawn’s tight grip on his arm. He could barely make out the Chiss clinging to part of the dam with one arm, the other holding him.

He tried regaining his footing, only to slip again and again against the water flow.  The troopers were shouting and scrambling, making a human chain, trying to reach down to Thrawn, but they were too far away, they’d only get swept up in the current with them.  The hand holding his arm slipped for a moment, losing a bit of grip before regaining it, but the jerk to his body, and the ever increasing flood meant Thrawn did lose his grip on something.  In an instant, they were swept away, the waterfall over the busted dam, and the three distressed humans quickly moving father and farther away from Ezra's vision.

Ezra fought the current, he tried his best, but with one arm held by Thrawn, all he barely managed to accomplish was remaining above the water level.  Thrawn still held tight to his arm, at his side reaching out trying to grab anything. Logs, branches, tree roots, anything that might stop them from being lost to the flood waters.  Looking back forward, he could no longer see the troopers or the dam. What he could see, however, was a decently sized tree branch speeding through the waters, headed right for them.  He raised his arm, hoping to catch it, use it to keep them out of the rushing waters, only for the river flow to swing the log suddenly to the side, and sending it colliding directly with Ezra’s head, and everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no what will happen now?! You know what's funny, if you guys could view my internet history before I post chapters, you'd probably get loads of spoilers, I had to do some nature research, also Beavers are very smart and adorable!  
> Thank you for reading, come say hi on Tumblr!
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	19. Chapter Eleven - Ahsoka - Old Ghosts

It had been a while since she’s looked down upon Malachor, and it looked just the same.  Of course it wouldn’t change, no one had any reason to come here anymore. But still, somehow, she had expected the world to be different.  Perhaps like a staple of their time here. Once they descended closer to the surface, they’d see the remnants of her last, eventful adventure here.  But, from out here in orbit, it was almost as if she had never set foot on the planet before.

The place meant to be her final stand.  No time could mend how chilling that thought was to her.  To know she was meant to die, it gave her a sense of living on borrowed time, that she was uncertain when it would run out.  So far, that time had been stretched a long time, and she could only wonder how the galaxy might have changed if she had died.  Would it be different, was her presence impacting the universe in any discernible way, or was it all for nothing in the end?

It didn’t matter, really, she had come to realize.  With the Force, most things had their purpose, be it the will of the Force or the byproducts of such.  Whether Ezra saving her was the will of the Force or not was not her concern. She could only go about her allotted time on this plane of existence doing what she thought she must.

And there was just one thing she felt she needed to do.  Ezra saved her, she’ll save Ezra. She had a promise to keep.  She turned to Sabine, who was eyeing the planet below with some inkling of hesitation.  She caught Ahsoka watching her and tried to steal herself again. But Ahsoka could so easily see through her.

“Well, not exactly the happiest looking planet out there.”  She commented, leaning back in her chair.

“I’m sorry to say it does not get better the closer you get.”  Ahsoka spoke, giving her a small smile. That was an understatement.

“Fun.  Can’t wait.”  The Mandelorian took back the ships controls, and with much the attitude of ‘let’s get this over with’, began taking them down to the surface.

And Ahsoka was right.  After clearing the thick clouds of the planet, the aftermath of that one fateful trip was clearly evident across the surface.  Sabine made a small gasp after catching the first sight of the long stretching cracks across the barren world. The deep chasms that splintered off from the epicenter of the explosion.  From here she could still see it, where the Sith Temple had laid beneath the surface, now exposed to the harsh overworld, the rubble and long dead soldiers open to the intense starlight.

“What happened here?”  Sabine asked, taking them low enough for her to stare down the cracks to the world underneath.

“That, is what happened last time we were here.”  Ahsoka supplied, very much expecting the look of shock Sabine shot her.

“You guys did all this?”

“Not exactly.  The Sith Temple we had come to investigate, it was a weapon, sought after by Vader and his Inquisitors.  Ezra, in his attempt to stop it, caused its destruction.” Sabine scoffed and shook her head.

“I should have guessed it was Ezra.  Definitely seems like something he’d do.  Though, I would have loved to see that explosion.”  Ahsoka nodded slowly, a smile playing on her lips.

“Ezra does have a reputation.”

“Hopefully, it’s still me people think of when there’s an explosion!”

“I’m sure you are Sabine, no one can top your level of destruction.”  Sabine smiled at her, beaming under the praise.

“That’s right.  But, onto business.  What do you think we’re supposed to do here?”  Ahsoka’s smile remained, her thoughts reminding her of her last trip here.

“It’s funny.  When we came here the first time, we too did not know exactly what we were looking for.  Either we will find it, or it will find us.”

“Well, that’s reassuring.  I love the idea of something looking for us down there.”

“It’s not as bad as it appears, though I’ll admit, it is unsettling.  There was a great loss of life here, Jedi and Sith alike. I can still feel their presence, like an afterimage, moments before annihilation.”

“So ghosts, there are ghosts down there.”  Sabine groaned, turning her attention down a particular chasm.

“No, not ghosts, more like, I can feel what it was like when they were still there.  It is difficult to explain. But I promise, you will see no ghosts down there.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

They continued on, following the spider web like cracks in the planet’s surface, edging ever closer to the large pit where the Sith Temple once was.  It was odd to see this planet after another catastrophic event. Before, the surface was peaceful, barren, but now, the surface world and underworld were combined.  Mixed together forcefully, giving the planet a more chaotic feel.

Still, however, it appeared calm.  The planet was empty. Last time, despite there only being seven of them in total, including Vader, it had felt crowded, on this large planet.  Now, it was just the two of them, and she truly felt the emptiness of the world. Despite the history, and the bodies below, the world was empty.  She hoped at least. A repeat of the last trip was high on her list of things she didn’t want to happen.

Coming up on the pit, she took a slow breath.  She knew not of what lay before them, or what any of it would have to do with their search, but she was prepared.  She could only hope Sabine was as well. She could sense Sabine’s unease, rolling off her in waves. It wasn’t that she was scared, no she’s been to bleaker worlds, and in more dangerous situations.  No, she’s offset because of what this world represents. Where Kanan lost his sight, where Ezra’s personality began to shift, where Ahsoka didn’t return from. That was what had her unsettled. She was doing well trying to hide it.

Descending down, Ahsoka felt herself hit with her own anxieties.  When Ezra had pulled her from the clutches of certain death at the hand of Vader, she had to return to Malachor, the time she had come from.  Else the balance of time and space be disrupted. In doing so, she thrust herself into the carnage that had taken place from the destruction of the Temple.  Which was not pretty. She’d spent her time, gathering as much information as she could, before making her escape in one of the Inquisitor’s ships, before Vader could return with his Emperor.

Returning, reminded her of that time.  Of the emotional whiplash from being on the brink of death to being pulled through time and space by an older Ezra.  It wasn’t an easy thing to swallow, but she did well enough on her own. She glanced over at Sabine, who still seemed entranced by the planet while they descended.  The woman now knew the truth of Ahsoka’s survival on Malachor through the World Between Worlds, but now she was going to be faced with exactly what Ezra had helped Ahsoka dodge.  She had to trust Sabine to handle the situation well. Another test of her patience with the Force.

At the bottom of the pit, there was an area clear enough of debris prime for landing.  It was difficult to tell where exactly they were, with the explosion of the Temple, the area surrounding it changed drastically.  They could be anywhere from on top of the temple to far beside it. It didn’t truly matter, not when they didn’t even know what they were looking for to begin with.

“So,” Sabine started after shutting down the ship and grabbing for her helmet, “what’s the plan?”  Ahsoka glanced out the viewport, surveying the destruction before her. Crumpled stone, dusty ground, the few jutting petrified limbs of the Jedi or Sith that have been here for hundreds of years, if not more.

“I do not know.”  Ahsoka answered, standing from her seat and taking up her staff.  Our best bet is to explore.

“Oh, even more fun.”  Sabine sighed, donning her helmet and standing beside her.  Ahsoka simply smiled. She had a feeling this trip was going to be even more eventful than either of them may think.

They descended the ramp together, Sabine with her blasters drawn.  Ahsoka didn’t sense any immediate danger, but she couldn’t fault the other woman for wanting to be prepared.  The destruction somehow looked ever worse from up close. She was surprised there wasn’t a smell of death in the air.  Despite knowing there should be no fresh bodies here, the scenery looked as if there should be. Though everything was covered in a film of dust, the damage still looked new.

Wait.  There was a film of dust on everything, except for ahead of them.  She could see, the broken stone that had once been a wall, had parts where the dust had been brushed away.  Either by hand or foot tread. Her brows scrunched together as she moved closer to inspect. She could see, a clear boot print in the dust of this slab of rubble.  And a handprint on the one jutting from the ground beside it. She knelt, running her fingers over the imprint.

“What is it?”  Sabine asked, following behind her at a small distance.

“We are not alone down here.”  Ahsoka could feel Sabine’s sudden jolt into alertness.  The woman scanned the area around them quickly before turning back to Ahsoka.

“What is it?  Can you tell?” Ahsoka stood from her crouched position, doing her own quick scan of the area.

“The dust has been moved recently, disturbed by a bipedal person.”  She gestured to the foot trail, Sabine bringing down her scope from her helmet and following it.

“It keeps going, we could follow it to whoever’s leaving it.  But there’s not just the footprints, there's wheel marks as well.  They may have a droid.” A droid. Ahsoka reexamined the area, and sure enough, she could make out the three wheel tread of a droid, wobbly following, or leading, the biped.

“No common scavenger would have reason to come here.  Only someone who knew this world, with intent to unlocks secrets of the Force, would come here.”

“So, are you thinking more foe than friend?”

“I cannot tell, however, it is most likely someone with affiliations towards the Sith would be here.”  The droid made her hesitate on that, most Sith had little patience for droids and other machines, preferring living thinking people, they were more enjoyable to control Ahsoka assumed.  What sort of person would bring a droid to this world?

“Only one way to find out.”  Sabine moved forward, leading with her blaster.

“Hold onto that enthusiasm Sabine, I sense we will need it.”  She followed after the other woman, using her staff to help her over the debris.  She didn’t need it, not really, but this was a trick she learned from Master Yoda.  If she acted more weak and feeble than she was, others were more likely to underestimate her, thus giving her the advantage in a fight.

The Force around them was obscured, she couldn’t get a clear feeling of what was moving around with them.  Not even if it was good or bad. Which never boded well in situations such as these. Sabine was right, the only thing for them to do was track down whoever it was and find out from them what they were doing here.

When they finally caught up with the one leaving these trails, it wasn’t exactly what either of them had expected.  After scaling a particularly steep pile of rubble, they saw him, below, maybe about ten or fifteen meters away. A smaller man, clad in all black, dusty blond hair, and an old astromech at his side.

In unison, recognition passed between them both.  That droid was R2-D2, she was sure of it. She could recognize that blue droid anywhere.  Sabine, she seemed to recognize them both, familiarity putting the woman more at ease.

“Luke?”  Sabine called, climbing over the debris and making her way down to him.  Ahsoka watched her go, withholding a gasp at that name. Luke, as in Luke Skywalker?  It had to be, the son of a Jedi turned Sith, accompanied by Anakin’s droid. The one man she had yet to meet, and wanted to more than any other.  Without much hesitation, she followed after Sabine.

Luke had turned towards them, watching their approach, offering them a very small smile.  Ahsoka knew that type of smile, the smile of a once bright boy beaten down by the harshness of war.  She shouldn’t be surprised, if this was truly Anakin’s son, he had a sea of troubles to bare on his shoulders from the actions of his father.

“Sabine Wren?”  He spoke, his voice so youthful, betraying the matured look on his face.  “What are you doing here? Is there a problem, is Han in trouble? Leia?” He looked so suddenly concerned, it bothered Ahsoka, that his first thought was that he was needed.  She felt, perhaps, more responsibilities were bared on this young man than he deserved.

“No, nothing like that, everyone is fine!”  Sabine soothed, finally coming to a stop next to the man.  Side by side, they were practically the same height. “We um...well why we’re here is difficult to explain, Ahsoka is much better at that part than me.”  She gestured over to the Togruta as she came to stand before them both.

In an instant, Luke’s eyes widened, his mouth opening slightly as he took in the much taller woman.  She gave him a small smile of her own, seeing the evident look of recognition dawning across his face.

“Ahsoka Tano?  Like, my father’s old padawan?”  He gaped. Ahsoka nodded slowly.

“It is good to finally meet you Luke Skywaler, I have heard much about you.  However, I look forward to getting to know the real you.” Luke smiled back at her, an idle excitement igniting in his eyes.

“As do I.  I’ve heard so many things about you, from the Rebellion and from my father, you’re practically a legend!”  Ahsoka had to furrow her brow at that.

“From your father, how is that possible?  He has moved on to join with the cosmic Force, has he not?”  She had felt his death, as had she felt Obi-wan’s when their time had truly come.  It was difficult to believe someone dead for so long, and then one day, feel them pass again.  But she was certain that’s what she felt, Anakin’s presence so strongly before all traces of it was whisked away with the passing breeze.

“Ah, yes it’s a bit odd I know.  But people of the Lightside of the Force, under intense training or fulfillment, can hold onto their physical form past death.  My father was one such individual. As was Ben Kenobi and Master Yoda.”

That was news to her.  She had known that Jedi could exist beyond themselves to an extent in the cosmic Force, but she’d never seen or heard of Jedi able to persist physically enough to speak and convey information.  Even after all these years, the Force could still surprise her.

“I did not know that, interesting.  What is it like, for you and for them, it sounds like a particularly rare phenomenon.”  Luke gave her an oddly knowing smile.

“Why don’t you ask them for yourself?”  She opened her mouth to question him but was swiftly cut off.

“Snips?”  That voice, that word, she knew them almost as well as she knew her own name.  With a shocking start, she dropped her staff, body going rigid and eyes wide.

“A-Ahsoka?  Are you okay?”  She barely hear Sabine’s question, and she didn’t answer it.  Instead, she turned to face where the new voice had come from.  Vaguely, she heard Luke talking with Sabine, attempting to explain, but Ahsoka’s thoughts were elsewhere.

Before her, the sight had her gasping once more.  As plain as she could see anything else around her, she could see  _ Him _ .  Anakin Skywalker, though, he was blue, and partly transparent, very much like a hologram, but his image was stable and consistent.  He was there, she could  _ feel _ him there.  He was still young, long curly hair brushing his shoulders, in a draping robe of a Jedi, a nervous smile on his shimmering face, even his scar he got from Ventress was there.

“Anakin…”  It was hardly a whisper, seeing him, really actually him standing before her.  The last time she thought she’d ever see Anakin Skywalker, was all those years ago, on Malachor when she’d faced off with Vader.  She thought she could save him, help him, avenge him. In the end, she could do nothing, but watch the monster consume the man she viewed as a father.

“Yeah, it’s me, Ahsoka, and I…”  He paused, looking away, clearly bothered by their interaction.  “I’m so sorry.” She wasn’t sure if a spirit of the cosmic Force was capable of sadness or tears, but the pain that covered Anakin’s face made her almost certain they could.  “Nothing I say or do could make up for the things I’ve done, to you, to anyone. But I am sorry, more than anything, my regrets they’re...consuming. I don’t deserve this second chance, I don’t deserve my own son, but I’m so glad I’ve got them.”  He looked back at her, and all she could do was give him a watery smile.

“I’m just happy you’re back, Skyguy.”

“I hope that sentiment extends to me as well.”  Beside Anakin, quite literally materializing out of thin air, stood Obi-wan Kenobi.  Not how she remembered him, older, wiser, but she could recognize him in an instant.

“Obi-wan.”  She smiled at him, which he returned.  “Of us three, it figures he’s the only one to stay the same.”  She gestured to Anakin, her voice wavering as she spoke, her emotions were catching up with her quickly.  Like rushing water against a crumbling dam.

“Yes, Anakin seems to make his own rules for everything.”  The duo shared a smile, Anakin appearing much more sheepish.

“I can’t believe I get to see you both again.  I thought you died in the purge Obi-wan.” The older ghost nodded, placing his arms into his sleeves in front of him.

“I am sorry Ahsoka, however I had to go into hiding to protect young Luke there until it was time.  Master Yoda had to do much the same.”

“Yeah, I assumed.  But you too, I’m glad to see you too.  I’ve missed you both, that first year...was so hard.  You’d think I would have been used to it, after leaving the Order.  But, thinking that you weren’t there anymore, and to hide who I was...was difficult.”

“I’m so sorry Ahsoka.”  Anakin chimed back in, his voice sounding weak.  “I wish I had been stronger, to do what was right.  I’m grateful Luke grew into such an amazing man. I really am proud of him, and Leia.”

“Leia, she is a remarkable woman as well.  Is Padme their mother?” Obi-wan gave Anakin an unsurprised, knowing look, Anakin simply looked mildly embarrassed.

“Yeah...I kinda noticed we weren’t nearly as subtle as we thought we were.”  Ahsoka couldn’t help but laugh at that. Anyone on Coruscant could see right through the two of them, subtle wasn’t exactly one of Anakin’s strong suits.

“You could say that.”

“Ahsoka.”  Something about his tone has shifted, the conversation suddenly turning much more serious.

“Yes?”

“I’m so proud of you.”

“We both are.”  Obi-wan added.

“The things you’ve done, the people you’ve helped.  Despite all your own problems, you become a much better person than I could have ever hoped of becoming.  You taught me more than I ever taught you.”

“Anakin.”  She could feel it now, herself right on the edge.  The first tear slid down her cheek.

“You’ve grown into a remarkable and strong woman Ahsoka, I am proud of you.”  Obi-was said, giving her a warm smile. And with that, her resolve broke. Tears fell from her eyes, one at a time, catching on the edges of her smile.  The taste of salt coating her tongue.

“Thank you, thank you both.  After everything that’s happened, I still couldn’t have asked for better teachers...better fathers.”  Anakin looked shocked at her words, Obi-wan simply continued to smile.

“You were the best padawan-sister-daughter…”  Anakin, hung up on his words and paused before returning the same smile Obi-wan gave her.  “The best person.”

“I love you both.”  She said it, something she’d felt in her heart for years.  Something she couldn’t ignore or be rid of, even after all that had transpired.  Because it was true, she loved them both dearly as her father figures, them as well as Plo Koon.

“Love you too Snips.”  Anakin choked out, looking like if he could, he’d begin to cry.

“I love you as well Ahsoka, I’m glad you have a chance to do more good in this Universe.”  Obi-wan gave her a deep bow, Anakin belatedly joining him. She chuckled softly through the tears and bowed back.

“I’ve missed this family.”

“You’re doing good reuniting this family.”  Obi-wan spoke, motioning to Sabine who looked confused, shocked, and happy all at once.  “Ezra Bridger was a good boy, I’d like to see him returned to his rightful home.”

“Do you know where he is?”  The old Jedi shook his head at her.

“That knowledge is beyond me.  Though I am certain you will find him.”

“Thank you Master.”

“Good luck Ahsoka.”  Anakin came back in, mimicking Obi-wan by placing his hands within his sleeves.

She needed this, more than she ever knew.  To see these two men again, hear them speak, and get proper closure on their fates, their lives, their legacies.  Like a part of her life that was left unresolved, finally reached closure. Belatedly, it dawned on her that this was what Bendu was talking about.  Her unresolved connection. And now its been rested. Then the rest, will be just for her.

* * *

 

Sabine had been trying.  She really really was. To understand the Force more, be more patient with it.  But this, watching Ahsoka practically talk to herself, answer unspoken questions and cry at nothing, Sabine was truly at her limit.  Luke had tried telling her it was the ghosts of dead Force users, which meant Ahsoka was either lying or just wrong when she said there would be no ghosts.  It still didn’t make it any easier.

This was part of the reason she was so short with the Force.  It always worked to press her away. Because she couldn’t understand it the way others could, meant she was out of the loop about these things.  Alone, on the outside trying to see through a nebulous cloud. The Force, to her, was like a storm that impacted her life greatly, but she could do nothing to understand or move it.  Yet there were plenty who didn’t fear the storm, moved it, used it to their want without problem. This was hers and Ahsoka’s search mission, but with the Force, it felt like she was pushed to the side, barely doing anything to find Ezra.  How could she face him, knowing her presence was unneeded in finding him. Ezra was counting on her, not the Force her.

So, yes she had been trying, much harder than she thought she could, but she was at her limit.  Ahsoka was helpful, good company, and wiser than anyone she’d ever met. But, sometimes, in the dark depths of her mind, Sabine felt that maybe she should have embarked on her own.  At least that way, whether she succeeded or failed, it would be because of her doing, and not that of the Force’s will.

But despite her stewing anger, Sabine could see how important whatever was going on was to Ahsoka.  She’d never seen her laugh, not like she had, a genuine honest laugh. Nor had she seen her cry, whatever she was speaking to, seemed to de-age the woman before her.  She acted more relaxed, more casual, more energetic. Everything about this was strange, but she understood it had to happen. She was just a bit annoyed by that.

“What brought you two here?”  Luke asked, cutting directly into her thoughts.  “I wasn’t able to get an answer before.”

“Oh, right.  Sorry. Me and Ahsoka are looking for Ezra Bridger, I’m sure you’ve heard of him.”  Sabine started. Luke nodded slowly in response.

“Specter Six, the one who helped liberate Lothal by destroying the entire Seventh Fleet?  Yeah, I’ve heard that story once or twice. General Syndulla likes telling it.” Sabine chuckled at that.

“Yeah, talk about a proud mother, am I right?  But yeah, we’re searching to find him and bring him home.  Ahsoka is trying to use the Force to do that. Apparently, we have to...resolve Ezra’s left behind Force business before the path to him will be clear.  I don’t really get it, but anything that will get us closer to him, I’ll take.”

“Huh, I’ve never heard of something like that before.”

“Preaching to the choir.”  The Force was so strange, Luke was supposed to be a Jedi himself, technically the last anyone knew about, and here Sabine was, actually knowing something he didn’t.  Well, not really know, but heard of. “This whole trip has felt like a wild bantha chase, and I’m not sure we’re any closer than when we started.”

“The Force is mysterious like that.  It’s hard to tell when it’s helping or harming.  I’ve come to realize, the Force does both with every action.  You may be putting the Force into balance concerning your friend, which is beneficial to the Force as a whole, but could very well be pushing you farther from your goal as well.  That’s why the Force is difficult to truly master.”

Sabine turned to look at the man.  Luke was the same height as her, and only a few years younger, and yet, he seemed so wise.  Not just wise with the Force, but wise about life and the Universe. It baffled her that he and Ezra were the same in age.  Would he be like this when they found him, all wise and mature? She hoped not, she wasn’t sure she could handle a truly grown up Ezra.

“Thanks Luke, that helps...a little.”

“I wish you luck in your search, I’d like to meet Ezra one day.”  She’s sure Ezra would be more than happy to meet Luke, they seemed like they’d be fast friends.  Though, Luke didn’t look like an easily hated person.

“What are you doing here, by the way?”

“Yeah, I’m trying to learn as much as I can about the Force.  The Emperor tried his best to wipe the galaxy of everything he found, to keep the knowledge all to himself.  I’m trying to find what he missed or left behind. I’m thinking of starting a school, to train the next generation of Jedi, Ben and Master Yoda keep urging me to do that.  I’d want to be the most prepared before trying.”

“That makes sense, I wish you luck with that.  Like you said, the Force is difficult to Master.”

“Thank you Sabine.”  The pair lapsed into silence, and Sabine already felt a bit more calm from their talk.

“How long do you think she’ll be?”  Sabine asked after a few minutes of watching Ahsoka chat with the air.

“I’m not sure, but I think quite a while longer.”  Sabine let out a sigh, plopping herself down on the comfiest looking piece of rubble.

“Well, I’m gonna strap in for the long run.”

She fell asleep at some point.  Somehow able to sleep in this dreary place.  But Ahsoka woke her up with a warmer smile than she’s seen before on the woman.  She helped her up and they said their goodbyes and wishes of luck to Luke. Ahsoka seemed content that finding Luke was what they needed to accomplish on Malachor, Sabine was more than happy to keep moving on to the next stop.

Only, they were then met with another roadblock.  Ahsoka couldn’t get a solid heading on where they needed to go next.  They spent maybe an hour sitting in their ship, staring at the destroyed underworld of Malachor while Ahsoka meditated, but she kept coming up with nothing.

“What I do, is take worlds I know Ezra has frequented, and I meditate on them trying to find a disturbance.  But I am coming up with nothing.” Ahsoka explained, looking thoroughly confused.

“Maybe we need to go somewhere he’s never been before?”  Sabine supplied. Ahsoka shook her head in response.

“No, we are chasing his presence, like an afterglow, he had to of been there.  None of the planets I know of have come up in my meditation.”

The last thing Sabine wanted was another hindrance on finding Ezra.  The longer they were stalled, the farther away Ezra got from them. They needed a solution and a heading, and they needed them quick.

“What if it isn’t a planet?”  She prompted, drawing Ahsoka’s attention.

“What do you mean?”

“Have you been trying stations?”

“I don’t know any, what stations would he have visited that could have unfinished business for him?”  That was a good question. Sabine wasn’t sure, of the many missions they went on, many of them were to places that weren’t planets, but most of them seemed inconsequential.  None of them stood out to her enough to be worth checking out.

Wait.  No wait, there was one.  Sabine’s face broke out into a wide grin as the answer presented itself to her.  It was so obvious, of course they’d have to go there. Ahsoka seemed to notice her epiphany, and was waiting patiently for her to explain.

“I know exactly where we need to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh was that a surprise to anyone? No, probably not haha. Luke Skywalker enters the character list! And brings with him some emotional resolution! Any ideas where they might be headed next? Hope you enjoyed, see you next week!  
> I strongly encourage you to come visit my Tumblr please <3
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	20. Memories - Ezra - Common Ground

Ezra was swimming.  Not in water, but what he couldn’t see.  All around him was black and he felt as if he was floating, weightlessly.  Was he, dreaming? He tried looking around, but everywhere he looked was pitch black.  Like he was trapped in a void, perhaps in his own mind. Was he dying, or was this a premonition?  It reminded him of when he’d meditate, and that seemed like a good enough place to start.

He shifted to what direction he felt was up, tucking his legs under him, as if resting on his knees, he placed his hands on his thighs, closed his eyes, and tried to relax.  Taking deep breaths he couldn’t even feel, and letting them out slowly he tried to calm his racing mind. If he was in his mind, where was his body? Did Thrawn leave him to drown, maybe Ezra  _ was _ dying.  The best course of action would be for him to get a handle on himself and then his surroundings.

He focused, trying to channel the Force, the one thing he could feel, until his hands loosened so that they were flat as his mind got quieter and quieter.  Within a few minutes, he felt himself back in control, the weightless floating feeling beginning to recede. Beneath him becoming solid rather than open space.  He was together.

Slowly, he opened his eyes to the empty void, and found he wasn’t alone.  The mysterious Force presence from when they’d crashed on this planet, it was back.  He’d not felt it since being in the corridor when escorting Thrawn to the medbay, where it had run from the blue man.  Ezra never forgot about it, but this was the first time he’s sensed it since then. Whatever it was, it didn’t have a full grasp on the Force or itself to create a visible form, just appearing as a glowing red ball in Ezra’s subconscious.  It could be a Force sensitive animal of some kind, or a primitive alien? There was no way to tell. He tried reaching out to it, and this time, rather than flinching or fleeing, the presence came closer. Not enough to touch, but it seemed as if it wanted to reach out in return.  Ezra was impacting it, somehow, enough so that it could tell he was here. Maybe whatever it was lived out in the woods, and now that he was closer to it, he could feel it again.

“What are you?”  He whispered out loud, his own voice echoing out in the void.  The presence didn’t react to his inquiry. He reached out farther, his fingertips coming well within touching distance, but he didn’t outright touch it, he needed it to reach out in return.  There was a pause, a moment of hesitation where neither he nor the presence moved. Then slowly, from the brightest center of the orb, something began to form. Pressing out beyond the edges of its glow, a white blob that slowly took the shape of a five fingered hand.  Ezra held back a gasp as the glowing hand came closer to his, fingers stretching as if it had never used them before, or hadn’t in a long long time.

The hand lightly brushed Ezra’s fingers, and he was hit with a wave of information he couldn’t make sense.  All of it coming and going in an instant, more like an electrical shock than a Force connection. A zap to the touch and the presence recoiled from him, the hand disappearing inside the orb, and then it was gone.  Fleeing from him once again, fading away into the light that began streaming in from above.

With a start Ezra awoke.  He gasped, filling his lungs with oxygen, stretching them to their limits, only to break out into a fit of coughs.  He sat up, heaving over trying to expel some water still trapped in his throat. A few heaves and spitting and he was able to breath normally once again, if a bit heavy.  His head ached, he felt cold, and he still felt wet. Around him, it was dark, after sunset, and under the cover of thick leaves. To his right, he heard the cackling and popping of a fire, and the softest glow of warmth on his one side.  He turned to look, and found Thrawn sitting there, nursing a small campfire.

Ezra was missing his shirt and trousers, though still in his undergarment, his were clothes stretched out on the ground beside the fire, alongside Thrawn’s own shirt and cloak.  To Ezra’s other side, he could barely make out a flowing river, he could hear it more than see it. He looked back to Thrawn, who was watching him closely from the fire.

“You saved me?”  Was the first, raspy, thing past Ezra’s lips.  Thrawn nodded, gaze going back to the glowing embers.

“Yes, I did.  You were not in a situation to save yourself.”  Thrawn answered, moving a log closer to the center of the flames with a long stick.  “I apologize for undressing you, night was falling and Humans are prone to Hypothermia and Pneumonia when cold.  Your clothing should be dry by now if you wish to change back.”

Ezra eyed his clothes, and wordlessly he moved over to test them.  There were still damp parts in the center but he didn’t care it was better than soaking.  He stood on wobbly feet, righted his balance and began pulling his clothes back on. Thrawn didn’t speak as he did so, and only glanced up when Ezra came to sit across from him.

“Um...thanks for helping me.”  He spoke softly, slightly embarrassed to have to thank Thrawn.

“Of course, I took an oath to protect all those of whom I command.  You may not be a part of my crew, however, on this world, I consider you as much.”  Ezra wanted to argue, that Thrawn didn’t command him, but he was tired, and cold, and Thrawn did save his life.

“Hey, did you have to um…” He paused rubbing the back of his neck and looking away.  “You didn’t have to like, revive me did you?” Thrawn stared at him, most likely trying to work out exactly what he meant by that, before he figured it out and smiled.

“No, you were breathing and had a pulse when I pulled us from the river.  All I did was make sure you were not going to get ill from the cold.” Ezra had to fight to keep his sigh internal.  He really didn’t want to have to think of Thrawn doing anything weird to him, even for survival purposes.

“What happened anyway?”  Thrawn turned to his side, rummaging in a backpack and pulling out a ration bar, handing it to Ezra before answering.

“You were struck by a tree trunk, rendering you unconscious.  I still had hold of your arm when you went limp, was able to grab hold of the trunk, and lift us both upon it to remain afloat through the flood.  Once the river flow began to slow, I swam us to the bank and onto shore.”

No doubt all of that was made ten times more difficult with Ezra’s limp body to haul around.  Ezra knew Thrawn was pretty strong, but still, it had to be hard. It would have been so much easier for Thrawn to just leave him to drown, he might have been able to get out of the river quicker and make it back to the others.  Instead, both of them were stuck, wherever they were.

“So, how far down river are we?”  Thrawn contemplated his question for a moment.

“Just under two hundred kilometers from where the dam burst.”  Ezra didn’t even want to know where Thrawn got that number, regardless of how, it was a daunting number.

“And we’re going to have to walk all the way back aren’t we…”  Ezra sighed, slumping forward over himself, beginning to eat through his ration bar.

“Yes, it will be tiring, you should rest, we will start at dawn.”

Ezra looked Thrawn over, the blue man looked normal, not overly tired or spent.  But Ezra knew that he hadn’t been sleeping much before, having taken the most watches the first three nights, and with all the walking, then having to haul Ezra around in a fast flowing river, Chiss or no, Thrawn had to be exhausted.

“I just woke up...I’m not ready to go back to sleep.  I’ll take first watch.” Thrawn’s eyes narrowed, like he was contemplating this.  Ezra sat up straighter. “I am a Jedi afterall, I can sense stuff before I can hear it.”  That seemed to convince him. Thrawn nodded slowly.

“Very well, if you become tired, wake me and I shall take over.”  Ezra nodded at him in return, finishing off his ration bar.

Thrawn started pulling out his bedroll, the first Ezra had seen of it since they’d left.  He set it up near to the fire, grabbing his undershirt and slipping it on before going to retire on his bedroll.  As he moved around, Ezra noticed on the ground beside where Thrawn had sat, his holodisk, taken apart into pieces.

“What happened to your holoprojector?”  He asked, hoping that wasn’t a prying question to set off the man.  Thrawn looked over at the metal pieces then to Ezra, but he didn’t get upset.

“It has become water damaged, and may have been struck onto a hard surface in the attempt to escape the river, it no longer switches on.  I was attempting to repair it, but I believe it is beyond us without the proper tools.” He actually looked a little saddened by that, his eyes staring down at the broken holo.

“I could...take a look at it.”

“Do not bother, as I said, we lack the tools necessary.”  He turned away, moving to lay down on his bedroll. Thrawn gave him a final look before turning his back to him.  Guess that was the end of that conversation.

Ezra waited thirty minutes, watching the fire, poking at the embers occasionally.  After the thirty minutes, he deemed Thrawn asleep and moved closer to the pile that used to be his holo.  He could see which piece were which, the internal computer, outer casings, projector bulbs, and a twig Thrawn had fashioned into a tool of some kind.  The most Thrawn had managed was taking it completely apart, and from here, Ezra couldn’t diagnose the exact problem.

Water shouldn’t be enough to break a holodisk, they were made to be water resistant.  However, the strong impact of water they came under could probably damage most things.  But Thrawn seemed right, without the right tools, there wasn’t anything he could do to repair it.  Unless. He inspected the pieces closely, an idea forming in his mind. All these metal pieces, with a powerful interior reminded him of something, that down to the basics was somewhat similar.  Maybe, he could use the same technique on this as he used to construct the other.

He gathered all the pieces together in front of him, kneeling in the soft ground, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.  He reached out gently with the Force, feeling the pieces, making himself familiar with each of them. It was different from building a lightsaber, because he didn’t have the Kyber Crystal to resonate with, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.  Piece by piece, he lifted them up as he made his mind known to them.

He may not know machines as well as Sabine did, but he knew enough, he felt, to work with this.  A holoprojector wasn’t the most advanced piece of equipment. Wires, switches, a memory core, all combined in a protective shell and projector.  As he lifted the pieces, he found the projector lens cracked, not enough to damage the circuitry underneath, more a cosmetic wound that could affect the holo’s image quality.  He did find however, that a small fractured off piece of the projector screen had lodged itself deeper in the memory core, serving one of the wires there. With the pieces surrounding him like a bubble of parts, he managed to focus on the tiny piece, remove it, and pop the wire back into its place.  One problem down, onto the next.

He operated in this manner, finding the minute issues and rectifying them, with the precision and finesse of the Force.  One by one, putting the projector in more functioning order. This could still be a lost cause, there could be a problem that would require replacing a part which no Force powers could fix.  But he wouldn’t know until he reached such a part. So he kept going, one by one. Pieces still damp from the river he’d float over the fire to allow the heat to help dry.

He didn’t know how long had passed, thankfully more than enough time for Thrawn to be certainly asleep.  He worked diligently, and always kept a portion of his brain attuned to his surroundings, to continue his actual job of keeping watch.  And finally, after mentally fiddling with the tiny intricacies of the memory core, Ezra had found and rectified the last problem he could fix.  The only thing left to do now was switch it on, and test it. Bringing all the parts together in the air, focusing on each part individually, he began to put the holo back together.  One part snapped in here, two casing sides locked in together and screwed in there, the lens delicately placed in, and the final cover piece overlaying it. The final small screws in place and the device was whole again.

He brought it down into his palm, and slowly, he opened his eyes to gaze at his handy work.  It looked normal, other than the crack across the surface. He flipped it over a few times before setting it back face up in his hands.  The moment of truth, to see if any of that had actually been worth it. He switched on the holo, and waited.

The machine hummed, the screen lighting up slightly, but no image sprouted forth before him.  It whirred in his hand, but still nothing began to display. A sound did join the mechanical whir however.

_ “Well, here goes nothing.” _   It was a male’s voice coming from the holo, one Ezra didn’t recognize.  The accent sounded very far from core worlds, Outer Rim maybe, or even Wild Space, one of those farther out worlds, even Ezra didn’t hear accents like this too often on Lothal.  Then, coming in from the side, an image finally appeared. It was the man, but rather than his still image, he was moving. There was a recording on this projector as well as the still image.  The man smiled into the recorder, looking where he assumed the viewing eyes must have been. With the damaged lens, the holo moved a bit more as it cycled through, the image distorting occasionally as it moved, and a small line bisected his face.

_ “So this is goodbye.  I know we’ll get to say our right goodbyes in person but...I know we’ll be separated for a long time, so thought I’d at least leave you something so you don’t forget me.  Though I know you won’t, you don’t forget anything.” _   The man smiled and laughed sadly.   _ “I understand the importance of this mission, and will carry out my duty fully and happily…” _   He paused, running a hand through his fluffy hair.   _ “But I am gonna miss you Mitth’raw’nuruodo.  I-” _

“Eli!”  Ezra jumped as Thrawn sat upright from his bedroll, the name he gasped echoing between them.  His red eyes turned on Ezra, confusion mixed with anger flashing across the glowing orbs as he quickly stood.  Ezra switched off the recording and stood to meet him. Before Thrawn could say anything, Ezra held out the holo for him.

“Sorry, I didn’t know there was a message on there...I was just trying to fix it.  As a thank you for uh...for saving me. I didn’t mean to intrude on this.” He said as Thrawn delicately took the projector from him.  He switched it on, the message continuing to play, but he switched it out before the man, presumably Eli, could say another word. Instead, it changed to the still image of him smiling.

“I...thank you Bridger.”  Thrawn said after a moment of watching the slightly damaged holo.  He turned the device off, holding it behind his back as he looked back at Ezra with much calmer eyes.

“Like I said, its cause you saved me okay?  Now we’re even!” Thrawn nodded as he spoke, a small, dare Ezra even call it, smile playing on his lips.

“I did not require repayment, however I am truly grateful for this.”  Ezra didn’t like this Thrawn being polite stuff, it was messing with his head.

“Yeah, no problem, you’re welcome.”  Thrawn gave him a small nod, and when it was clear Ezra was done speaking, he turned to return to his bedroll.  No doubt he was expecting Ezra to start asking questions, but he could tell now wasn’t the time to go prying. This was a breakthrough however, his time for answers would be coming soon, he would see to it.

Thrawn sat on top of his bedroll, his back to Ezra, and switched the holo back on, the blue glow lighting up the area just in front of Thrawn.  He gazed at the image for a short time, before he settled himself back onto his bed, back still to Ezra. He never did switch off the projector, and lay there, most likely willing to go to sleep with it on, apparently not caring that Ezra was there watching him.

He had a name now, Eli.  But still, he had even more questions than he did before.  What mission was this Eli on, what did it matter to Thrawn, why was the message so, intimate..personal, and who was Mitth’raw’nuruodo?  A name that sounded so foreign that Ezra wasn’t sure he’d be able to say it out loud, he wasn’t sure how Eli had. It definitely was an alien’s name, maybe another one of Thrawn’s Chiss, but that doesn't explain why Thrawn would have a holo that was made to Mitth’raw’nuruodo.  Maybe sticking to knowing nothing was better than leaning one thing and knowing less.

Thrawn had at some point fallen back asleep, as he hadn’t moved in the next few hours that Ezra stayed watch over their temporary camp.  There was no effective way to tell how long into the night they were with the leaf coverage from the trees, but Ezra waited until he had begun to doze to finally switch shifts with Thrawn.  The Chiss took well to being awoken, looking almost fully alert immediately. He switched off the holo as he sat up, and Ezra moved away to set up his own bedroll, closer to the fire than Thrawn had done, the night had taken on a chill.  From his bed he watched Thrawn, the Chiss sat before the fire, setting the holo in front of him, and switched it back on. Ezra needed to find out the story behind that, or it would drive him mad.

As morning rolled around, Thrawn awoke Ezra gently.  The sun must barely be above the horizon, judging by how dark it still was under the trees.  It was maybe slightly brighter than it was when Ezra had fallen asleep. Thrawn moved away after waking him, pulling out a ration bar for himself and for Ezra, handing him his.  Ezra ate is quickly, not really even feeling all that hungry but knowing regardless he’d need it. They had a lot of walking to do.

It was strange, Ezra noticed.  Thrawn wasn’t acting any different from how he normally was, and yet, something about him seemed different.  Somehow, smaller, more of a person and less of a figure head. Did watching him sleep really change Ezra’s view of him so drastically, or was it because Thrawn risked his own life to save Ezra’s?  It could have been both, but he didn’t like this shift in perspective. Regardless of what Thrawn did now, it doesn't negate what he did before. But for the time being, they truly needed each other, so they’d have to ride out this journey back together.

They didn’t talk much as they packed up camp.  Just gathered their respective things, Thrawn giving a quick rundown of the plan, which boiled down to ‘follow the river’, and they set off.  He allowed Thrawn to take point, knowing that he’d know if there were any twists or bends they’d need to navigate. Thankfully, they hadn’t lost anything in the raging river from the flood.  They each still had their weapons, food, water and packs. They could always drink from the river in an emergency, and Ezra thought he saw some fish swimming around just below the surface, emergency food.

If he had thought that the trek that took them to the lake in the first place was boring, the walk back there was agony.  It was just following the river, and traversing the woods that looked exactly the same no matter how far they walked. Occasionally, Ezra would gather a hand full of stones and periodically skip them across the wide river, which was somewhat difficult as the water flowed strongly but it was something to break up the monotony.  In the beginning, Thrawn had stopped and waited for him when he’d do this, but quickly learned Ezra could catch up easily so he just continued on walking.

They didn’t stop for lunch, instead they just ate on the go, both of them eager to get back in the shortest amount of time possible.  It took a decent amount of walking before Ezra started to feel the exertion. Their packs weren’t too heavy, but walking for as long as they were, he felt the strain on his legs, his feet beginning to ache.  He didn’t say anything or even slow down, but knew when they stopped for the night, he might dip his feet into the river to sooth them.

And when the sun began to set, and the densely packed forest darkened enough that they could continue no farther, Ezra did exactly that.  Thrawn set up their fire just fine on his own, so Ezra indulged to wet his feet, resting them after most likely over twelve hours of walking.  He rubbed his aching soles under the chilly water, splashing his face a few times and dunking his head in, thoroughly wetting his hair before moving to join Thrawn at the fire.

Again, not much was said at first, as they both just sat there, eating in silence.  Thrawn seemed content to keep it that way, but Ezra never did enjoy the quiet. But there were so many questions swirling around in his head, ones he knew Thrawn wouldn’t want to discuss, but he couldn’t keep them from his mind.

“Bridger.”  Thrawn spoke, Ezra flinched as he interrupted his thoughts.

“Uh...yeah?”  He answered, looking up at the blue man.

“You are bothered by questions, and they are distracting you.  Care to share?” Ezra just looked at Thrawn, somewhat flabbergasted that he would open himself to questioning, after being so adamant about his anger towards them before.

“Seriously?  You’re gonna just let me ask questions?  After being so standoffish about it before?”  Thrawn nodded at him before directing his gaze to the flickering flames of their small fire.

“My reservations stem from a needless concern.  What secrets I hold, their usefulness will die with me here on this world, and I know you bare no ill will towards my people.”

“Die with you?  What do you mean?”  That was a pretty morbid thought, yet Thrawn sounded so sure of himself he would meet his demise on this planet.

“I am no fool, Ezra Bridger.  The likelihood of rescue coming for us is slim to say the least.  And rescue that would come in time to be of use to us is nigh impossible.  I do not see myself making it off this world. You however, in your youth, and your Rebel comrades, I have faith you shall persist.  Me and my crew...we simply have no chance.” He didn’t sound sad, or upset about that either, like he’d already accepted it as fact and that everything they were doing was just formalities.

“That’s not true.  Why would I make it off and all of you die?”

“No help sympathetic to us will be coming.  The Empire will cast us aside as casualties in action and move on.  Your Rebel’s, they will not give up on you, I have noticed that in their actions.  And should they come before we have died from any number of possibilities, our deaths will be sealed on their arrival.”

“You just think my friends would kill you all on the spot?”  They wouldn’t do something like that, not to a bunch of defenseless castaways.  That’s what made the Rebels better than the Empire, who have no problem killing people who can’t protect themselves.

“Their hostilities towards us specifically may outweigh their morals.  After I have wronged them personally. As well, they did kill all of the Imperial forces on Lothal by destruction of the dome.  And your own anger and hostility towards us is proof enough that they’d share your views.”

Ezra wanted to argue, cause that was stupid, his friends wouldn’t just kill Thrawn and all the other Imperials.  Except, Thrawn had a point. They had no problem blowing the dome, what’s the difference with the remnants of the Seventh Fleet?  No, he trusted his friends to not kill defenseless people. But, what if they were as angry as Ezra has been, Thrawn deserved Ezra’s rage, but did he deserve death?  He wasn’t sure yet. In this moment, he felt like the answer was no.

“I thought you didn’t like giving up.”  Ezra chose to say instead.

“Admitting defeat and giving up are two different actions.  I am not giving up, but I recognize, any efforts towards rescue would result in wasted time and effort.  Our best course is to survive as long as we can.”

“Thrawn, you’re an idiot.”

“Pardon?”

“We’re all making it off this rock, mark my words.”  Thrawn watched him, looking slightly put off at being called an idiot, but not outright angry.

“You are stubborn, Ezra Bridger.  I’ll concede the point for the moment.”  He’ll take that, it was better than arguing with Thrawn any longer about things Ezra found stupid to have to argue about in the first place.  “Now, I believe you had questions?”

This was seriously messing with Ezra’s head.  Thrawn being nice to him, Thrawn admitting defeat, Thrawn being open with him.  He didn’t understand why he was doing all this. Pretending just to make Ezra more cooperative?  He already was being that way however, he just wasn’t happy about it. There wasn’t anything for Thrawn to gain from Ezra being more friendly towards him, he didn’t seem to care about what Ezra thought so long as he did his part.

He thought of Kallus, of an enemy turned ally.  Were his thoughts not untrustworthy and angry towards him when first learning he was Fulcrum.  But look at him now, even Zeb likes him now, he’d caught the two willingly spending time together on Yavin.  If someone like Kallus could come around, and someone like Zeb come around to him, could Ezra and Thrawn? The only true way was to try.  Okay Thrawn, he gets one chance to prove himself. But if he fails, Ezra may just leave them all behind and venture out on his own.

“That man...Eli.”  Ezra started, his eyes moving to the holo at Thrawn’s waist.  “Who is he?”

Thrawn nodded knowingly, most likely expecting that to be Ezra’s first inquiry.  He grabbed the projector, holding it out between them and switching it on. Again, Eli’s face appeared before him, the same smile, and still that diagonal line bisecting his face from the damaged lens.

“This is Eli Vanto, he was my aide during our time together in the Empire.”  That was it, just his aide? That wasn’t right, people didn’t keep holos of their aides after they leave.  “And my friend.” He looked down at the holo with fond eyes.

“What happened to him?”

“I sent him away, back to my people.  I knew his leadership and strategic skills would be more useful to them than the Empire, as well as give him the chance to cultivate those skills further.”

“Why are you telling me this now, what was different than before?”

“Because, you were intruding upon my privacy to attain this information.  As well, I realize now that the reason for the secrecy of that mission, is no longer prevalent.  If you return to your home, I know you will have no want, nor need to share that information.” He was right, sort of.  Ezra might tell Hera, and Sabine and them about it but, it really wasn’t important to Ezra about some old friend of Thrawn’s, unless he decides to come around and cause problems.

“Okay, and who is...the other guy, that Eli talks about in the recording?”  There was no way that Ezra was going to even try and say that mouthful of a name.

“The other?  Do you mean when Eli referred to Mitth’raw’nuruodo?”

“Yeah, that.”  Thrawn smiled at him, Ezra was starting to become creeped out by it.

“That is my name.  My full name, the name you know is my core name, Humans have difficulties pronouncing Chiss names, Thrawn is much simpler.”  He was right about that, Ezra was pretty good at strange names, but that was going too far. Maybe Sabine could do that, he’s pretty sure she could speak Shyriiwook, which is an equally complicated sounding language.

“Yeah, don’t expect me to call you...that.”

“Understood.”

This conversation felt far too casual for Ezra’s liking.  He did decide to give Thrawn his chance, but already this was moving fast.  They were enemies not two months ago, but Thrawn seemed to abandon that notion almost immediately, acting as if they were allies now.

“I thought you hated me?”  He spoke after a short lapse into silence.  Thrawn narrowed his eyes.

“It was you who disliked me.  Hate is an unnecessary emotion, it is wasteful and can impede forward progress.”

“You don’t hate me?”

“I do not.”  That was news to Ezra, it always looked like Thrawn hated everyone, even Pryce what few interactions he’d seen or heard of between him and his other Imperials.

“Is there anything you do hate?”

“Evil.”  Thrawn’s voice turned dark, his eyes drifting off to stare into the campfire, as if he were thinking of something.

“But the Emperor, he’s evil, and you served him!”

“Perhaps, however the Evil which I speak is far worse than your Emperor could ever have been...or so I thought.”  so he thought, what did he mean by that? He was serving the Emperor right up until the liberation of Lothal. If Thrawn had doubts about the Emperor then why- wait.

Ezra remembered now, when he and Thrawn had just jumped with the Purgill that conversation they’d had.  Thrawn had said he was trying to use the Empire, to stop some threat to his people, and mentioned some great weapon he called the Death Star.  Something worse than Thrawn, worse than the Emperor, but he never got a chance to explain what it was, and Ezra had completely forgotten about it in the chaos of the crash.  But now Thrawn was open and willing to ask any question Ezra threw at him.

“What’s the Death Star?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did y'all forget about the Force presence? It's been a while but it's back baby! And finally, Ezra's being Forced to cooperate with Thrawn, let's see how that train wreck pans out. And I hope all of you worried about Thrawn's Eli holo are thoroughly satisfied.  
> Just three updates until Treason
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	21. Chapter Twelve - Eli - Decisions

By the time they made it to Garel, Eli had taught himself the basics of sign language.  Thankfully, languages became much easier to learn the more you already know. So he learned the alphabet at the very least, and some words he felt might be useful in the immediate future.  That way, Eli could spell out what words he wanted to say until he started learning more.

Jessa hadn’t woken up from her nap, and Eli wasn’t looking forward to having to wake her.  He was putting that off until he absolutely had to, she needed the rest badly. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t take long to reach the hospital, so at most he was buying her a few more minutes.  Better than nothing.

There was also the overhanging fear that there might be something seriously wrong with Jessa.  A long untreated injury that has amplified in severity, or a terminal disease lying dormant in her system.  The worst thing that could happen would be him rescuing her only to find out there was nothing more to be done and she’d die regardless.  After he’d promised to protect her. He couldn’t go through that, not again. Eli would be damned if he’d just sit by and let this girl die on his watch.

After setting his ship down in the nearest area to the city’s hospital, Eli stood to check on Jessa.  She was still fast asleep in his cot, looking the most peaceful that he’s ever seen her. Leaving her for a bit longer, and feeling the memories tugging at his brain, he moved to the locker he’d been using to store his things during this trip.  At the bottom of the locker, in a simple looking bag, was exactly what he wanted. His personal mementos.

He pulled out the bag, and opened it with a small shake of hesitation to his hands.  Inside was everything that held personal meaning to him. When leaving for the Ascendancy, and then embarking on his search, he could only take so much with him.  When he left, he took only some holos from his parents, a holo of Thrawn as well as his journal, and his Imperial rank plaques. For his search, he took all that, as well as his Expansionary Defense fleet uniform, old holos of Thrawn when he was still with his people, gifted to him by Thrass, and three children’s toys, that once belonged to Tiviza.  The latter being what he wanted now.

He grabbed the Chiss girl doll, named after her previous owner, and cradled it delicately in his hands.  The doll’s hair was braided in one thick braid down her back, the last hairstyle Tiviza had done to her. Eli ran his hand gently down the back, feeling the fake hair, remembering the tiny blue fingers that used to run through them.  He felt his eyes sting with the press of hot tears.

Taking a slow deep breath, he blinked them back.  He didn’t need Jessa to see him cry. Right now, he had to be strong for her.  Because he wasn’t sure he could handle it if he had to go through what happened to Tiviza again.  He spent another minute or two cradling the doll, wishing more than anything things were slightly different before stowing the doll back away in her hiding place.

Once feeling more normal, he moved to stir Jessa.  The small girl whined softly, rubbing at her eyes before bolting upright and covering her mouth tightly.  Her big brown eyes were wide in terror, looking around her rapidly, before she saw Eli. In an instant she relaxed, releasing her tight hold over her mouth and slumping forward.  Eli lightly tapped Jessa’s shoulder, having the girl turn to look at him. At first she watched his lips, expecting him to speak, but Eli waved his hands directing her attention there.

Going off of memory and his practice, he sighed to her.

“ _ Good morning Jessa. _ ”  The little girl’s face opened up, watching Eli sign something.  She looked back up at him, beginning to sign back at him. He could barely make out  _ Eli _ and  _ learnt _ through her hand movements, but the rest was a blur to him.  He waved his hands to her, quickly signing, “ _ Wait, stop. _ ”  She did, putting her hands down and waiting patiently.

“I searched signing, and learned a few words.  But I don’t know enough to fully talk with you yet.”  She watched his lips closely, nodding in understanding when he finished.  But as he finished, she also looked confused.

“You tried to learn signs for me?”  She asked, her eyebrows scrunching together in thought.

“Of course. I want to be able to be able to talk with you.  It’s not fair you have to read my lips all the time.” Her head turned down, her small hands wringing together nervously.

“Aren’t you going to get rid of me soon?”

“What?”

“Kids who don’t have parents go and live with other kids who don’t have parents until new ones come.”

Eli’s heart clenched, seeing how disappointed she looked as she said that.  And she wasn’t wrong, that’s exactly what Eli should and might do. Take her to an orphanage and hope that a couple comes along to adopt a deaf girl who suffers from trauma.  It hurt her, it hurt him, but there wasn’t anything else he could do. No where he could take her, no one he could leave her with, and he couldn’t take her with him into the Unknown Regions with him.

“I don’t know yet.  Right now I’m taking you to a hospital to make sure you’re healthy.  We’ll worry about all that later, okay?” She looked away for a second, chewing her lip lightly before looking back and nodding.

“Okay.”

“Would you like to walk, or for me to carry you?”  Rather than answer him, Jessa simply held up her arms for him to pick her up.  Eli chuckled lightly, gladly scooping the girl up and resting her on his hip.

“Will the people at the hospital be nice?”  She asked as he collected his datapad and began locking down the ship.

“Of course they will be.”  Eli answered, lowering the ship ramp. “They’re there to make you feel better and make you happy, I promise.”  Again, Jessa seemed more inclined to listen to Eli than logic, that sort of behavior could be detrimental to her down the road, especially when he leaves her, but for the moment it was beneficial.

Eli had never been to Garel before, it seemed like a simple well populated world.  It wasn’t too far from Lothal, so Eli was certain it had its fair share of Imperial occupations in the past.  Now, however, it seemed to be thriving without Imperial reign. Despite having dedicated so much of his life to serving the Empire, Eli was very aware of what the Empire did to the worlds they visited.  Eli and Thrawn did their best not to repeat the results of a typical Imperial stint, or at least Thrawn and he had done so. Hearing what Thrawn did to Lothal… Eli mentally shook his mind clear. He couldn’t jump to conclusions, Thrawn would tell him the truth if he found him.

Closing up the ship behind him, Eli began the walk to the local hospital.  Jessa held onto him tightly, but her curiosity was evident as he looked around at all the sights and all the people, her neck practically turning to rubber with how far she would bend it around.  At least that was something she could get out of this stop, no child enjoyed going to the hospital. Which was understandable, Eli found them unnerving himself. It was a place of healing, sure, but it’s also where a lot of people went to die, one way or another.

They passed by a local market, Jessa seemingly very interested in the bright colors and accumulation of smells.  Maybe he’d take her when she got cleared by the doctors. A parting gift for her, a toy or two, or some sweets. While she was with the doctors, he’d search local orphanages, he’d go across the planet to leave her with the most trustworthy of people if he had to.

The hospital entrance came into view down the street and Eli felt himself filled with a sense of foreboding.  Likewise, Jessa tightened her hold on him. She too wasn’t happy about this being the prospect of the last time she sees Eli.  As well as her own very likely fear of other strangers. But they couldn’t avoid this, their time together was coming to an end, and Eli would make it the best time before having to say goodbye.

Standing before the towering hospital, with people of different ages, species and genders fluttering about, he swallowed hard.  All of his worries, all his anxieties, coalesced together in one large lump in the pit of his stomach. Anything that could go wrong, would inside these walls, and it was necessary that the entered.

Taking a deep breath, he walked through the doors.  Inside, the waiting room seemed just as ordinary as any other.  Bright overhead lighting against light white walls. Metal floors with stiff plush seating around the walls, with a check in desk and two doors on either side.  A few people sat around in the chairs available, some looking to be suffering mild ailments, others just seeming bored, waiting for someone further in no doubt. At least no one looked alarmed or panicked.

Walking up to the desk, the Togruta receptionist paused her typing at her console to look up at him.  He gave her a nervous smile, hefting Jessa higher on his hip, who hid her face from the new woman. The Togruta typed two more sentences before pulling away fully from her work and facing Eli.

“How can I help you?”  She asked, in a tired voice, but he could tell she was trying to act more peppy.

“Hi, yes, I um, am in an interesting circumstance.”  Eli began, not quite knowing how best to phrase what he needed to say.  “Do you know Baros? It’s not too far from here.”

“On the edge of the Outer Rim, yeah I know it.”  She nodded at him. That was a good start.

“I was just there, landed a few days ago, and there was some a slaving mining operation taking place near one of the Human settlements.  They kidnapped me, and I found this girl here while there. We made it out but, I want to make sure she’s healthy and taken care of, she was down in that mine for some time.”  He gave her another awkward smile.

He expected her jaw to drop open, for her to laugh and call him a liar, call security and have him thrown out, accuse him of being a kidnapper himself.  But instead, she just turned back to her console, and boredly began typing something else out.

“Another one huh?”  She sighed.

“A-Another one?”

“Happens a lot around these parts.  Garel is nicer, but those worlds closer to Wild Space get more...wild I suppose is the best word for it.  Garel tends to be their first safe haven. Mind answering some questions for me?”

“Oh, yeah of course!”  Eli was slightly flabbergasted.  Had she seriously just brushed off a slaving operation with a bored expression?  Said that slavers were common out here, Eli knew the Empire had no love or care to help worlds out in Wild Space, but he thought that at least the Outer Rim was worth it.  Lothal was worth their attention. But he remembered the Wookie slaves he and Thrawn had discovered and the sad reality hit him. The Empire didn’t care, because the Empire had been one in the same with slavers.  Of course they’d be common, with no one truly able to do anything about it.

“Name.”  The Togruta asked, shaking him free from his jaded thoughts.

“Eli Vanto.”

“Her name.”  Eli shifted Jessa to pull her back from her hiding place, she must have realized he needed to talk with her and allowed herself to be moved.

“Jessa,” he started when he was certain she was reading his lips, “do you have a last name?”  She looked up at Eli’s arms, then over to the Togruta, and back. Her face scrunched up, like she was about to cry and buried her face back in his neck.

“Zaitvi.”  She weakly mumbled, Eli rubbed her back soothingly.  It had to be hard, having lost her parents only months ago.  This poor girl, so young, and still, having faced so many hardships.  It wasn’t fair. But he could dwell on that later, there were pressing matters at hand.

“Jessa Zaitvi.”  Eli repeated for the receptionist.  “Parents deceased.”

“Do you have proof of passing?”

“Just word of mouth from Jessa.”  Eli flinched as the Togruta sighed loudly.

“That complicates things.  Are you legal guardian?”

“No, I only found her.”

“Then we can’t return her to your care after doctor visitation.”  Eli bit the inside of his lip to keep his aversion to that hidden.  He looked down at Jessa, clinging to him tightly, and felt an overwhelming sense of regret.  This poor girl wouldn’t do well in foster care, but there wasn’t anything he could do.

“Alright...do I at least get a say at where she’s placed?  I’d rest easier knowing she’s somewhere trustworthy.”

“Sorry Mr. Vanto, it’s up to local law where she’s placed and an assigned case worker.  According to galactic records, Jessa Zaitvi, daughter of Jecht Zaitvi and Tiali Zaitvi was reported missing after the deaths of her parents on Iego.”

“She has other family?”  A smile broke out across Eli’s face, because if she had other family members worried about her, who reported her missing, then Eli would have nothing to worry about.  Jessa would be safe and cared for. But the Togruta shook her head sadly.

“No, she was reported missing by neighbors who discovered her parents bodies.  They had no living family members on file.” Eli’s shoulders sank, rousing Jessa enough to peek up at him.  He composed himself again quickly for her, but that was another blow to take.

“Oh.”  He gave Jessa a small smile he didn’t feel to comfort her, and she went back to hiding her face from the receptionist.

“There’s a pediatrician ready to give her a check up, and a case worker is being selected to take her case.  If you take a seat, they will talk with you when they arrive.” She handed over a data card for him and pointed to the seating along the walls.

“Yes thank you.”  She went back to her console, and Eli slowly walked over to one of the chairs sitting down.  He tried detaching Jessa from him, but the girl only went far enough to sit in her own chair and hold onto Eli’s arm instead.

“What’s going to happen?”  She asked, gazing up with her wide brown eyes that made Eli’s heart melt.

“A doctor is going to come back, and you’re going to go back with them.  They’re going to make sure you’re healthy, so do everything you’re told okay?”  Jessa shuffled back and forth in her chair but nodded slowly.

“Okay, will you be with me?”  Eli was dreading that question.

“No, I’m not allowed, but I’ll be waiting right here when everything is done.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”  He gave her a reassuring smile and that seemed to calm her enough.

It didn’t take long for a doctor to come out of the door on the left and approach them.  She was Human, with long blond hair tied into a tight bun and a welcoming smile. Jessa shied away from her as she approached, but watched her intently.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Marnel, but you can call me Marny.”  She spoke, signing along with her hands as she did. That alone put Eli much more at ease, seeing that the woman could sign to Jessa.

“Pleased to meet you, I’m Eli Vanto.”  Eli smiled back, offering his free hand for her to shake, which she took gladly.

“And you must be Jessa, do you know sign?”  Jessa hesitated, but slowly let go of Eli’s arm to sign back.  She signed something along the lines of yes and Marnel smiled at her.  “That’s great, I’m just going to make sure you’re strong and healthy okay, would you please come with me?”  She held out her hand for Jessa to take. The girl looked up to Eli, as if for guidance.

“Go on.”  He encouraged.  “She’ll take good care of you, and I’ll be right here.”  Jessa nodded slowly and took Marnel’s hand.

“We’ll try not to take too long Mr. Vanto.”  With that the two turned and walked off to the door on the right, Jessa continuously looking back at him as they went.  Eli watched with a smile on his face up until he couldn’t see them beyond the door any further. Once out of sight, his smile fell and he fell forward, resting on his knees, head in his hand.  He couldn’t shake that this might be the last time he sees Jessa.

It shouldn’t bother him so much.  She was rescued, going somewhere where she could get adopted, have a fresh start, be healthy.  But he knew exactly why it bothered him. Jessa reminded him too much of Tiviza. A small girl thrown into a situation they should never be forced to bare, and some instinct deep in Eli’s being made hims want so desperately to help and protect them.

He can’t even do that.  Tiviza put her trust and her life in Eli’s hands, and he could do nothing to save her.  How could he possibly task himself with another child’s trust? He can’t even trust himself to protect her, how can he take her trust?  No, it was best that he doesn’t see her after this. But damn, he felt he was going to greatly regret it.

He took a few minutes before he finally felt collected again and sat straighter in his seat.  He was so grateful that he still wasn’t among Chiss right now. In this part of the galaxy, looking distraught in a Hospital was completely normal.  He smiled sadly. How ironic it was, to have spent so long repressing his emotions, and once he was free of that, he still couldn’t quite act as emotional as he once would.  His temper had curved greatly, his tears coming much less frequently, he acted far too Chiss like now a days.

He’d been like this ever since the aftermath of what had happened to Tiviza.  Once he’d calmed down enough to return to duty, he felt his emotions mildly stinted.  He rested a hand over his chest, over his heart that should be beating hard or racing, but it was calm.  Maybe a part of him did die with her. He chuckled under his breath and shook his head. Now he was just being dramatic.  Thrass had been right to ask how he was doing with a young child in his care, it wasn’t well.

“Mr. Vanto?”  A new voice interrupted his sad musings.  He flinched looking to the side, to see a new woman standing beside him, a datapad in hand.

“Yeah, that’s me.”  He answered, standing up to meet her.

“Hello, I’m Aishi, the case worker brought in for Jessa Zaitvi.”  She held out her hand and Eli quickly shook it.

“Oh, yes hello.”

“I have some questions for you, if you wouldn’t mind.”  She motioned to the seat Eli had just been sitting in.

“Of course.”  He sat, Aishi taking the one next to him.

“So, we looked into your file, if you really are Eli Vanto, you’ve been reported missing in action from Imperial service for the past seven years.”  Eli smiled nervously, turning away to not meet her eyes. Coming out the gate strong.

“Yeah, about that.”  He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled.  “Can’t imagine that one is too uncommon. It was more like an unofficial defect from the Empire.”  Surprisingly, Aishi laughed with him.

“No it’s not uncommon, very understandable that you’d do that.  May I ask where you’ve been in that time, we have no other files on record.”

That was the question Eli was dreading.  How was he to answer that, the truth could jeopardize the Chiss, and his mission.  But a half truth might work, if this woman doesn’t feel the need to pry further. Eli had been giving half truths since he re-entered this side of the galaxy, he was far too used to it at this point.

“I was hiding in the Unknown Regions.  The one place the Empire wouldn’t go in search of a possible AWOL officer.”

“Doing what?”

“I lived with my Husband’s people in that time.  Now that the Empire’s fallen, I came back hoping to find him and well...in the process stumbled across a slaving operation and Jessa.”

“Yes, that was written in the report.  Another one on Baros. It’s a damn shame, maybe the New Republic will be better at dealing with these sorts of things, but I won’t hold my breath.”

“Yeah, only time will tell.”  Eli really did not feel like discussing politics with this woman.  It didn’t matter to him, whether he gets Thrawn or not, Eli’s going back to the Ascendancy at the end of this trip.  There’s nothing left for him this side of the galaxy other than his parents.

“Alright, well I should cut to the big elephant in the room.  Are you planning on becoming legal guardian of Jessa?”

If Eli had been drinking anything, he would have spat it all out and choked for the next ten minutes.  He never even thought that would be a question he’d be asked. He figured she’d just get the details of the slavers and move on.

“I-I’m sorry what?”

“I wanted to know if you had intentions of adopting Jessa.  If so, then I would still be the case worker and we could save a second visit for interview.”

“I…I don’t know.  I’m busy and going into dangerous situations, I don’t think it’d be right to take a child into that.  Not to mention I have no experience raising a child, child care to a degree yes, but I never had to raise a child.  I was an only child, while I had younger cousins I’d watch from time to time I never took care of them, as well she’s such a sweet girl, who deserves a stationary happy family and I can’t provide that.  I need to find my husband and take him home. But she’s also become so attached, I’m honestly worried how she’d do in foster care, she’s just so shy, and I’m sure that’s a byproduct of trauma-”

And he was rambling.  He could recognize he was, but for the life of him, he couldn’t calm down and stop talking.  What made it even worse, Aishi was just sitting there, giving him a knowing smile. He was scared, scared for her, scared for Thrawn, scared for himself, and it’d been so long since he’d felt such pure unhindered fear, he didn’t know how to handle it anymore.

“Mr. Vanto, Eli.”  Thankfully, Aishi finally interrupted him, and he was able to stop his rambling.  “I can see you have become attached to this girl as well. We’ve run a background check on you and your immediate family, you’d be eligible for interview to transfer legal custody of her to you.  We’d only need to ask some questions, update your file information and do a check on your husband, and there’s a very likely chance that you could be cleared, or you could even just provide us with trusted people she could be placed with.  I met with Jessa very briefly before she went in for examination, she’s extremely shy and repeatedly asked if we’d allow you to go with her. You are right, a portion of this behavior is linked to the trauma and viewing you as her savior, but another part seems genuine in her person.  It’d hurt her to go into foster care.”

Eli’s mouth opened to speak, but no words could be formed.  He couldn’t adopt a girl he just met a few days ago and take her with him, could he?  Eli wasn’t a parent, he couldn’t take care of a child, not successfully. But Aishi told him all the things he already suspected, Jessa had become closely attached to him, and to leave her, could potentially harm her emotionally and mentally.  But were the two risks equal, which was better, which was worse.

Finally, he found his voice, and said something he might regret.

The Doctor, Marnel, came out during Eli and Aishi’s conversations, informing him that Jessa would be admitted overnight.  She was placed on an IV to rehydrate her and get her back on track with necessary nutrients she was lacking. He was given a place to rest in the Hospital if he needed but he turned it down.  His ship wasn’t far.

Not long after that, he and Aishi concluded their discussion, and she said she’d keep him posted.  From there, Eli left, there was no need to wait around in the hospital waiting room. He moved back out onto the slightly less busy streets of Garel, walking in the vague direction of his ship.  His mind was swimming with thoughts of the future, of the past, of right, of wrong. And most importantly, of what he had told Aishi. The woman took it very well, but still, Eli’s mind was clouded.

As he walked, he passed by the market again, looking far less crowded than when he and Jessa had passed by earlier that day.  The bright stalls had food, sweets, clothing, children’s toys and tourist souvenirs. Unable to help himself, Eli bustled around the different stalls, making quite a few purchases before he moved on.  Some small chocolate candies, three children's dolls, and a small pile of clothes he felt might fit Jessa.

Finishing up his final purchase, something to his side caught his eye.  Down the way, three stalls down, was a group of people who, for some reason, stirred familiarity in Eli’s mind.  One woman and four men. Three of the men seemed similar in height and build, but their faces were too different in face to be siblings, or even cousins.  The woman and other man however, stood with their backs straight, shoulders squared and chins tilted up. They reminded him of Stormtroopers and Imperial officers.  Eli’s eyes widened, because that's exactly what they were.

He smiled, seeing the group of five working together to take down the stall they were apparently running all day.  Unable to help himself, Eli grabbed his change from the stall owner he was at, thanked them and walked over. One of the Stormtrooper types saw Eli approaching, and elbowed his friend, getting him to stop packing up their wares.  By the time he reached them, all five had paused awaiting him, the smallest man coming up to meet him.

“Welcome sir, could I interest you in our marvelous products?”  He spoke, giving Eli a smile, voice thick with the typical Imperial accent.

“Depends, whatcha got?”  Eli replied, allowing the man to usher him closer.

“We have freshly grown produce, hand stitched clothing, and bags, all at fair prices.”  Eli looked them over, they weren’t half bad. He pointed to a few different fruits.

“I’ll take one of each of these please.”

“Yes of course, that will be twenty seven credits.”  Eli handed over the credits, watching as the others bagged up his fruits.  “Thank you very much sir!” Eli nodded at the man, giving him a smile.

“‘Course, I’m happy to help some ex-imperials trying to start their lives over.”  The woman who handed him the fruits froze, eyes going wide.

“W-How did you-?”  She stuttered, but Eli had already turned, walking back the way he’d come.

“Wait, that’s Commander Vanto!”  The short man gasped. “He was the Grand Admiral’s aide who went missing!”  Eli smiled to himself, hearing the group break out into hysterics with each other as he walked away.  That was one way to lighten his mood.

Eli returned to his ship, stowing his purchases in his locker.  While there, he retrieved two things, the doll named Tiviza, and his holoprojector.  Taking both his treasures back to his cot and sitting down, feeling the weight of the world was somehow on his shoulders.  He powered on the projector, seeing Thrawn’s stern face appear before him. And Eli smiled at it.

He really was grateful for Thrass to of gotten these holos for him.  As well, grateful that Chiss had slightly more superior technology, Chiss holos not having any of the shaky static that holos Eli was used to had.  So he could get a clearer, stable image of a younger Thrawn.

He cycled through a few of the holos, most being formal images taken during Thrawn’s service in the Expansionary Defence Fleet.  But there were a few casual photos. One of his favorites being one of Thrawn and Thrass side by side, most likely taken when they were just newly adopted into the eighth ruling family.  Thrawn used to be so small, it was hard to believe that he grew into the tall man Eli had met. Eli wished he could have met this Thrawn, this little boy, faced with too many hardships, and more responsibilities he was supposed to face.  Wished he could gather this little boy up in his arms, sooth his aching heart and give him a true childhood, like he had tried to do with Tiviza.

Thrass had said Thrawn was a sad boy, one who threw himself into his duties completely, so that he never gave himself a chance to succumb to his emotions.  For Chiss, that made him soar, but for himself, Eli knew there was a deep pain laying in him, that even he wasn’t able to break Thrawn free of.

Eli’s gaze fell down to Tiviza’s doll in his other hand, caressing the doll’s cheek with his thumb, a pain of his own rising in his chest.  She still had dust on her, having been completely untouched by anyone until Eli embarked on his mission to rescue Thrawn. A sad smile pulled at his quivering lips.

“Stars, what am I doing Tiviza?”  He held the toy to his chest tightly, gazing down at his holo of young Thrawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a little easter egg in this chapter, lets see if anyone can find it ;)  
> Thanks for reading <3
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	22. Chapter Thirteen - Sabine - Final Stop

“Interesting.”  Ahsoka hummed, staring out at the rolling expanse of hyperspace.

“I mean, I could be wrong, but it makes sense right?  If Ezra used the Purrgil to go wherever he ended up, then the place he first connected with them is as good as any place to go.”  Sabine confirmed. The old fuel refinery they had raided all those years ago. The first time they’d ever encountered the Purrgil together, on that desperate mission to get fuel which went from bad to worse to amazing.  She smiled softly to herself, remembering back when things were more simple.

Ezra used to be such a ridiculous kid, who tripped over himself with a temper just a bit too quick.  He grew quickly after she’d met him, after Malachor. He was still him, even after Kanan died, but after that, something about him changed.  He seemed to know something none of the rest of them did. Just like Kanan before he died, it scared her. Now she knew it was the Purrgil and Thrawn.  She still did miss the younger street rat Ezra, who knew no subtly and chased fights like they were sweets.

But she didn’t miss him in the sense that she wanted that Ezra back.  No, she missed the simplicity of that time, and held those memories in high respect.  She wanted her Ezra back, the one who saved his people, who loved his family, new and old, who had sacrificed enough and deserved to come home.  Nothing could bring back the childish Ezra, too much had happened, but she wouldn’t trade Ezra, the Jedi and savior of Lothal, her brother, for anything.

They were close now, closer than they’d ever been.  They weren’t far from Lothal, and possibly were physically farther from him than when they started, but something in her heat told her that they were so close to finding him now.  Before, this feeling would have driven her up the wall, knowing they were so close and still so far away having to slog through cryptic Force nonsense. Now however, seeing what good they’re leaving in their wake, she didn’t mind it.  If it was what it took to get Ezra back, and she got to see people given a second chance, Ahsoka smiling and laughing, and bringing peace to places hey disturbed, it wasn’t so bad a cost. Ezra lost his family and his world to bring peace and safety, Sabine only lost time.

She looked up at Ahsoka, who seemed to be giving her one of those knowing smiles she didn’t fully understand.  She smiled back, feeling that whatever reason she had to smile, Sabine ought to return it. She was feeling a bit more chipper now, feeling the end of their journey on the horizon.

“I think you are right, Sabine.  I’m almost certain that is where we must go next.”

“I don’t know what we could possibly find there.  It was run by the mining guild partnered with the Empire, but we sort of did a number on it last time we were there.  They either had to rebuild it or just shut it down.” Which was good, if the refinery was shut down then the Purrgil, and whatever other creatures fed off the gas there, could more freely go about their travels without having to worry about being shot at.

Maybe if they were lucky, there would just be some more stranded Imperials they needed to pick up and drop off wherever.  Something they did once and could do again quickly, then they’d be able to finally go after Ezra. More than likely they’re going to find something awful and time consuming.  But what she couldn't fathom. What sort of problem could the Force have on an old fuel refinery?

“What do you think we’ll find there?”  Sabine spoke, unable to keep her musings to herself.  Ahsoka could possibly have better insight than her.

“I do not know.”  So much for that idea.

“It’s almost like a game now.  Guess what the problem is before we get there.  Too bad we can’t make bets.” She laughed, and was a bit surprised when Ahsoka didn’t even crack a smile.

“Sabine.”  She sounded suddenly very serious.  Sabine’s smile dropped and she straightened up in her chair.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think you’re ready?”

“Ready?  Ready for what?”

“Ready to see Ezra again after all this time.  There is a chance he won’t be the same person he was when he left.  He’s been trapped for so long, surrounded by people whom he dislikes and who dislike him in return.  Are you ready if Ezra has changed.” Sabine watched her a moment, stewing over the question. A ridiculous question, with an easy answer.

“Of course I’m not ready.  No time in the Universe could make me ready.  But it’s Ezra, he’s my friend, he’s my brother.  It doesn't matter what he’s like now, because deep down he’ll still be Ezra.  I just want to bring him home where he belongs.” It was Ahsoka’s turn to pause and think over Sabine’s words.  But she quickly smiled and turned away.

“I think you’re perfectly ready, Sabine.”

“Oh, well thanks.”  What was the point of that question?  What did Ahsoka get out of that? But then again, Ahsoka was just blindsided by the apparent ghosts of her previous mentors.  Sabine assumed that was grounds enough to question Sabine if she felt ready, because surly Ahsoka didn’t have a chance to be ready herself.

They fell into silence, and again, Sabine felt at ease with it.  It’s so rare nowadays that people can just sit in silence. All her life, things were almost never quiet.  Always running, fighting, explosion, war, oppression. Life was so hectic, so fast paced. Being able to just sit back and enjoy the silence was odd, but not unwelcome.  Whatever was awaiting them at the fuel refinery, they’d be ready.

She was wrong.

Never would she have been able to predict what they found once dropping from Hyperspace before the crater that was once the fuel refinery.  The Mining Guild and the Empire hadn’t rebuilt the refinery, they had closed it, in more ways than one. The vast crater filled with gas was completely covered by a thick sheet of durasteel.  The entire crater, not even a gap in the metal. Apparently, if the Empire couldn’t have it, they wanted no one else to have it.

What was worse, however, was the large herd of Purrgil moving around the covered crater.  They circled it, like a cyclone, some leaving the group top ram its head into the metal, only for nothing to change and it to move away, discouraged.  There were so many Purrgil, not nearly as much as had been when Ezra called them over Lothal, but more than was common to find.

Ezra had said that they needed the gas to breath and travel.  That this was just one stop on a longer journey. If these animals of habit were accustomed to coming here, then they’d continue to do so, only to be trapped.  They’d be unable to get the gas necessary to keep moving, and without enough to make it to their next stop, they’d very well be stuck here until they suffocated.

Glancing down at the center of the cyclone the Purrgil moved in, she silently gasped to find the bodies of other Purrgil laying there.  The Empire’s greed allowed these creatures to fall into a trap and slowly die. A molten hot rage bubbled deep in her core, her hands tightening on the ship controls so much she heard her gloves creek.

“Those Bastards!”  She roared, standing from her seat.  “That’s just like the Empire, when they can’t win, they make it so everyone else still suffers!  How long have they been here, slowly dying?!” She turned to Ahsoka, who, while not outwardly angry, still looked deeply concerned.

“I can sense their distress.”  She sighed, closing her eyes tightly, as if in pain.  “It’s sad, they mourn the ones who have died, and they’re all so confused and scared.”  She opened her eyes. “They need our help.”

“And they’re going to get it.  The Empire sure is lucky they’re already gone, because I’d kill the Emperor with my bare hands right now if he was still alive.”  She sat down, taking backup the ship controls, prepared to go down there and tear that cover down piece by piece.

When a folly of laser fire scored the side of their ship, rocking both women violently.  The proximity alarm roared to life, a blaring noise accompanies with bright red spreading across their sensors.  Their attackers passed overhead, coming into view in their front viewport.

It was an older looking ship, that looked messily patched together with parts from any number of other ships.  Whatever the original model, Sabine could hardly tell now. But ships like that were a clear indication of one group in particular.

“Pirates!”  She hissed quickly diverting some spare power to bolster their shield.  “What are they doing all the way out here?” The ship continued past them, making a pass at the cluster of Purrgil, shooting into them, forcing them to disperse.  “Doesn’t matter, I’m blasting them to scrap!”

Wordlessly, Ahsoka stood, moving to one of the rear weapon control panels.  Having a Force user watching her back definitely made her feel more at ease.  Not that she was worried to begin with. If anyone should be scared, it should be these pirates who don’t know who they just picked a fight with.

Boosting the engines, she trailed after the other ship, thumbs hovering over her own weapons, prepared to return fire the moment they were in range.  The ship they were in was a bit more bulky than she was used to, but she was an excellent pilot, and would make do. They’d curved off to the right, Sabine following right behind, glad to not see and injured Purrgil as she flew by.

Her targeting system began to beep as it calculated a clean shot, but that was all the confirmation she needed, unleashing a barrage of shots herself upon the ship.  The first few missed their mark, but the last bunch hit dead center upon their engines. The ship shook, their speed dropping, but pirates always had something else up their sleeves.  Except maybe for Hondo.

Sure enough, the enemy ship’s engines flared to life with an intense blue light, their speed increasing considerably, and pulling down in a spin.  Too late to respond, Sabine passed right over them, right as the ship pulled back up, following her now. Sabine cursed under her breath and turned calling back to Ahsoka,

“They’re on our rear!”

“Yes I see them.”  Ahsoka confirmed. Sabine heard her begin firing, and all she could do now was to keep the ship steady and avoid fire herself.  “Their left canon is disabled, the shields are still intact but I don’t think they can take much more. They’re pulling off.”

“They’re not getting away that easily.”  Sabine reached over, cutting the engines, and turning the throttle all the way, using the momentum to turn, then brought the engines back, boosting them to full power, turning the ship a complete 180 degrees in no time at all.  She saw the ship, in fact trying to pull off and make for space. Sabine wasn’t going to let them get away.

It was a risky move, but she lowered the shields, diverting the power instead to the engines, giving them another swift acceleration, cutting the distance between them in half in just a single second.  She fired upon them once more, scoring the side of their hull up to the cockpit. She could see the exact moment their shields failed, the damage intensive across the ship’s exterior. They were finished, they wouldn’t be able to hold up against another attack.

Sabine smiled to herself, moving to fire again, only for the ship to flicker and vanish before her.  They jumped to Hyperspace. She cursed, slamming a hand onto the console with a groan. She had them, right there, and they got away.

“Karabast.”  She sighed, flopping back in her chair.  “Now we won’t know what they were doing here, or what reason they had for attacking.”  She turned to Ahsoka as the other woman came back to her seat.

“It’s okay Sabine, there may still be clues on the asteroid.  We should also try freeing the gas before they return.” Of course, Ahsoka was still the voice of reason between them.

“Yeah, yeah you’re right.  We need to hurry.” She wasn’t happy about it, but the Purrgil were in dire need of their help, they were their first priority.

She turned their ship back around heading towards the crater once more, glad to also see the Purrgil beginning to re-converge there, seemingly back to normal now that the pirates were gone.  As they approached, some of the Purrgil broke off and came closer. At first, she was worried they viewed them as a threat and were going to repel them. But they simply came up alongside their ship, moving alongside them as if guiding them down to the asteroid’s surface.  She looked to the one closest to her left, and it watched her back, meeting her eyes, as if it understood somehow.

“They are very smart creatures.”  Ahsoka said. “They recognize that we’re here to help them.”

“Because we chased off those pirates?”  Sabine asked, taking this chance to really see the Purrgil up close.  Their skin seemed an odd texture, but the colors were intriguing for a deep space creature.  Other than the large rounded teeth, which made Sabine unsettled, they were beautiful animals.  She could understand Ezra’s fondness of them, at least part of it, some of their connection had to be Force related.  Like the lothwolves.

“I feel bad for them.”  Sabine lamented with a sigh.  “The Purrgil did so much to help us, and here they are suffering and disregarded.”

“You did not know, if you had, something would have been done sooner.”

“But we should have figured that blowing up the refinery wouldn’t be the end of things.  And that the poor Purrgil are the ones who got punished.”

“We’re here now to make things right.”

“That’s not good enough, we need to do something to make sure things stay right.”

“We should fix things first.”

“Yeah.”  Sabine modded glumly.  “I know.”

“You are passionate Sabine, that trait has served you well in the past, and seems to continue to do so.  I believe that when you put your mind to a task, it will be completed.” Sabine gave her a slightly embarrassed smile.

“Uh, thanks.”  That felt somewhat sudden and out of the blue.  Not that the complement wasn’t appreciated, perhaps she just wasn’t used to receiving compliments about her.  Sure she got complimented on her abilities and actions, but not usually would people go out of their way to compliment her.  It was nice, if feeling a bit random.

There wasn’t much left of the refinery that had been there.  The ghost really had done a number on this place, but some of the metal platforms seemed to be intact, the base, covered in rubble of the station that had been above it.  If it could hold that weight this whole time, it should be able to hold their ship well enough.

Thankfully, she’d been correct.  Other than some creaking of the metal as they landed, the base held firm.  Sabine wasted no time in powering down the ship, slipping on her helmet and barreling down the ramp.  Ahsoka could catch up, but the Purrgil were on borrowed time, and so were they should that pirate come back with their friends.

She ran to the edge of the base platform, gazing over to get a good look at the durasteel covering the crater.  It seemed an awful lot of effort to simply close off the gas, effort the Mining Guild could have used to rebuild the refinery, and actually make a profit.  But the Empire was involved, and if they connected their raid on the fuel to the growing Rebel cell, no doubt that lit up more red flags than just some pirates.  They probably thought they were cutting the rebels off from a fuel source by shutting down, both the refinery and the asteroid. In reality, only the Purrgil were hurt.

Despite her better judgement, Sabine leapt down onto the metal cover, her boots landing with a dull thud.  It really was thick. She slowly began walking across the expanse of the crater, searching for weaknesses or where the plates interlock.  At first, she found a lot of carbon scoring. The burnt black marks left no doubt by decent sized ships and freighters. Though if they were aiming at the metal or the Purrgil was unclear.

As she started getting closer to the circling Purrgil in the middle, she found small dents in the metal.  Very shallow, but made with intense force, from when the Purrgil would headbutt the cover. She frowned to herself.  At the rate of progress the creatures were making, they’d bash in their own skulls before making it through the metal.  No doubt the point the Mining Guild wanted to make.

She knelt down, running her hand in the dip of the dent, only for a loud noise to startle her back to her feet.  Looking up, a Purrgil was diving straight down, right at her. Not wasting a second, Sabine turned and ran back, glancing back over her shoulder as she went until she was certain the Purrgil wasn’t after her.  It was heading for the dent she’d been looking at. It came closer, and with an echoing  _ wham _ , slammed its head dead center back in the dent.  It remained there, head pushed into the metal, its eyes somehow looking sad.

The Purrgil made a sad whine, and looked up at Sabine, who was slowly making her way over to the animal.  It allowed her to approach, resting there, looking so defeated that is hurt Sabine’s heart. She stopped within arms length of it, it watching her closely the whole time.

“You poor thing.”  She sighed, reaching a hesitant hand out.  The Purrgil didn’t flinch or make any sort of sign it was uncomfortable, so she reached all the way out, laying a hand on its head, beside its eye.  It began making a low rumbling sound deep in its throat, closing its eye as she rubbed the thick skin. It was purring.

The purring turned into another pitiful whine as the creature went completely limp, its massive body collapsing onto the cover.  Sabine flinched back on reflex, and the Purrgil opened its eye, looking slightly glazed over. This one was dying, right before her very eyes.  That last headbutt was its last ditch effort to get to the gas.

Her heart ached for these poor creatures, made to suffer for the Empire’s greed.  That ached turned into a burn, a deep burn of determination, and should she die it wouldn’t matter, because she had to do something.

“Don’t worry, I’ll fix this.”  She said to the weakening Purrgil.  Taking a few steps back, she reached down to the left side of her belt, to the one weapon she had that would be strong enough to get through this thick metal.  The one weapon she ever used. The one she was trying to return.

She grasped Ezra’s lightsaber from her belt, holding it tightly in both hands.  She ignited the blade, the bright green coming to life with the all familiar hum of the saber.  The Purrgil made a noise, eyeing the bright blade, as if it somehow recognized it.

“Sabine!”  Ahsoka called from a distance.  She turned to find the woman at the edge of the platform.  “There’s a chance that using a lightsaber could ignite the gas, it would kill you and the Purrgil.”  Sabine looked back to the blade, then down at the slowly suffocating Purrgil, and it didn’t matter. They were going to die if they didn’t do something quick, this was a risk Sabine was willing to take if there was a possibility she could save them.

She reeled back, holding the saber blade down, and in one quick movement, plunged the blade into the metal.  She closed her eyes, and prepared for the impact of explosion, waiting as the blade sliced through the metal.  But it never came. She made it all the way through, the sound of gas beginning to hiss out around the blade alerting her to the fact she’d made it through.  Wasting no time, she brought the saber around with her, carving out a sloppy oval, hoping it would be large enough.

Getting all the way around back to where she had began, and finishing the oval, the metal section dropped into the abyss of the crater.  And like moths to a flame, the Purrgil descended upon her. The one at her side, wiggled and groaned, managing to make it off the ground just enough to plunge through the whole and into the gas.  Sabine just barely managed to stagger out of the way of the funnel of Purrgil trying to get through the hole.

It took some time, but soon, every single Purrgil that had been circling above, were now under the cover, moving about in the gas.  She powered down the lightsaber, stowing it safely back on her belt, and moved closer to peer over down into the crater. All the Purrgil were flying around in the gas, making sounds of joy as they gently knocked into others of their heard.  She smiled to herself, and began the walk back to the platform with Ahsoka.

“See, nothing to worry about.”  She said, hefting herself back onto the platform to stand next to Ahsoka.

“I will admit, I was worried, but you pulled it off.”  Ahsoka said with a smile. “Unfortunately, this isn’t the end of our problems.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have discovered the reason for the pirates we encountered to be in this area.”  Ahsoka turned, talking as she walked across the platform, towards part of a leftover wall.  Sabine followed after her. “They have found a way to get access to the gas in controlled amounts, and have begun refining fuel themselves.  No doubt using the sealed crater and the Purrgil to cover up their operation from competitors.” Sabine grimaced as they rounded the corner, and saw the machinery it obscured set up next to a hole cut into the platform floor, and a hose snaking down beneath it.

“Meaning they were trying to get us away from discovering this, and most likely will be coming back.”  Sabine sighed, kneeling down to inspect the machinery herself. It was simple and crude, no where near the output levels of Mining Guild tech, but if they’re just turning a profit on free gas, they don’t need large output, just time.

“Correct.  And if they return while we are not here to repel them, they will most likely reseal the hole you cut, to keep the monopoly on the gas here.”

“We can’t stay here forever, we need to find Ezra.  We need to do something that will be more permanent, or else coming here would be for nothing.”

“We cannot destroy the gas, the Purrgil need it, and destroying the equipment would just have these pirates bring in more.  It’s too valuable an operation for them to give up.”

Sabine sighed internally, standing and stepping back from the machines.  She started to pace slowly, tapping her fingers against her thighs as she went trying to think.  There was no way they could keep pirates at bay without staying to do it themselves, and she knew no one who would want to spend all their time on some far out asteroid just to protect the Purrgil from pirates.  A thought struck her, one that just might work, of some people who just might want exactly that.

“I’ve got an idea.  Wait here, I’ve got some calls to make.”

* * *

 

A few calls and discussions later, and the plan was solidified.  Ahsoka would remain on the asteroid with some supplies for herself and keep watch for pirates, while Sabine left to pick up what she affectionately called her reinforcements.  By the next day, she arrived, the place she and Ahsoka had left barely five days ago, Garel.

Already, the ex-imperials were awaiting her on the landing pad.  Tyna, Tex, Needo, Flint, and Lyste, clustered together. They’d agreed to her proposal much swifter than Sabine had anticipated.  Apparently, they weren’t making much by selling at the local markets, and Garel had been a bit too hesitant to hire Imperial officers and Stormtroopers, not leaving the group much choice.  The chance to operate their own business in an area where no one cares where you were originally from must have seemed like a dream to them. The fact that Lyste had volunteered to come was also a bit of a surprise, but Sabine wasn’t complaining.

She landed, and welcomed the group of five aboard, with what few possessions they had to their names.  They each gave her their own greeting as they marched up the ramp. They had no time to waste, with Ahsoka stuck on the asteroid until they came to retrieve her, or when their second batch of reinforcements arrived there.

“Thanks again for agreeing to this.”  Sabine said after they were all settled, and she took up the ship’s controls.

“Of course, I had said we were in your debt.”  Tyna responded, taking up the copilots chair wordlessly.

“Still, I’d have thought that after being alone on Atollon for so long, the last thing you’d want to do was go and isolate yourself on some other far off rock.”

“Not really.  We work best together.”  Tex spoke up from behind them.

“People aren’t always the friendliest when they know you used to work for the Empire.”  Flint continued.

“Except for that man yesterday.”  Tyna mentioned.

“Because he was Imperial himself, of course.”  Lyste corrected. “The aide to the Grand Admiral himself.  We all thought he’d died, but he’d been defected the whole time!”

“Aide to Grand Admiral Thrawn?  I didn’t know he had an aide.” Sabine turned to them, confused.

“Eli Vanto, I only ever heard of the man, I never met him.  He went missing before the Grand Admiral was sent to Lothal.”

“Eli, he was here, on Garel?  Why?”

“I don’t know, but he bought some things from us before just walking away.”

Sabine furrowed her brow.  What could that man be up to on Garel?  If he hasn’t even left charted space yet, then Sabine might just beat him to Ezra.  If he was casually going around buying stuff from the market, he must not be in too much of a rush.  But it wasn't really her business.

Unless it was possible that he already found Ezra and Thrawn, but he would have sent word to her if he had. Or else he killed or left Ezra, and only rescued Thrawn.  But no, Eli didn’t seem the type, to do that. What little time they spent together, she got a decent read off the man, and he seemed very morally upstanding. No, he was doing something else on Garel, there’s no way he’d found Ezra or Thrawn yet.  She’d just have to wait to find out.

“Back onto more important subjects.”  Tyna spoke up again. “As you recall, none of us have any experience in refining fuel.  I hope you found someone who does.”

“You guys can’t refine fuel, but you can protect it well enough.  And yes, I know just the men for the job, they’re already on their way.”

* * *

 

By the beginning of the next day, Sabine and her group of five finally arrived back at the asteroid refinery.  And thankfully, her other contact had already arrived, if the rundown ship was anything to go off of. At least Ahsoka wasn’t truly stranded here.  Landing the ship and powering down, Sabine met Ahsoka and her two new allies.

“Ah, welcome welcome!  We were just discussing old memories of the past.”  Hondo Onaka boasted as Sabine walked down the ramp. Beside him, his partner in crime that had been glued to Hondo’s side, or rather his leg, for years now, Melch.

“Such as the time Hondo kidnapped me because I wouldn’t allow him to steal the Kyber crystals of Jedi younglings.”  Ahsoka spoke, arms crossed and a sense of irritation in her voice.

“Exactly, fond old memories!”  The old pirate laughed to himself, patting Melch on the top of his helmet as he did so.  The Ugnaught laughing with him. Ahsoka rolled her eyes, but didn’t seem too upset by Hondo’s presence.  Sabine would need to ask about that story later.

“Right.”  Sabine snorted.  “Anyway, I hope you’re up to the task here.”  Hondo nodded excitedly at her, clasping his hands together eagerly.

“Oh yes, very.  Thank you very much for this uh...business opportunity.  We will gladly take on this job, how much do you plan on paying us for our services?”  Sabine chuckled and rolled her eyes under her helmet.

“Yeah, that’s not how this is going, don’t even try.  You get whatever you make selling the fuel. And whatever you make is shared fairly between all seven of you, got it?  Oh and these are ex Imperials, three of which were Stormtroopers, so I don’t think your usual tricks are going to work on them.”  Sabine patted the side of Hondo’s face as the pirate began stammering, watching her five new recruits descend the ship ramp.

“Are you sure leaving Hondo in charge is the wisest decision?”  Ahsoka asked, following along side Sabine.

“Nope, that’s that the other five are for.”

“I never thought I’d see the day that a group of Imperials became the most trustworthy option.”  Ahsoka chuckled, Sabine gladly joining in.

“Yeah, it’s crazy times we’re living in.  Let’s get them settled in so we can get a move on.”

A few hours later, and everything was finally set up.  The now group of seven were briefed on what exactly their jobs here entailed, keeping other pirates away, and defending the Purrgil.  As well, Hondo and Melch got to work familiarizing themselves with the refining tech, as the Imperials watched taking notes. Once everything seemed on track, Sabine finally felt safe leaving the asteroid in their hands.

Sabine left them with access to an emergency fund of credits, of which she trusted Flint with the most, and certainly not Hondo.  If anyone with the New Republic had any objections they could call her up, or else she knew Hera would vouch that the expense was necessary.  Ahsoka had disappeared into their ship to meditate on Ezra as Sabine bid everyone farewell. Just before boarding the ship herself, she paused, staring out at the crater, seeing the Purrgil freely moving in and out of the gas through the hole she’d cut.  Another task she’d left the group with was removing the rest of the cover for the Purrgil. She had a good feeling about this.

When she reentered the cockpit, and upon finding Ahsoka still meditating in her seat, Sabine simply went about taking off, leaving the other woman to her meditation.  As she took off from the platform, some of the Purrgil that had been diving in an out of the gas peeled off, heading for her ship. Much like how they had guided them down to the platform, these Purrgil took up the sides of her ship and guided them back up away from the asteroid.  It was a little intriguing, flying along side the Purrgil, and part of her swore they were trying to smile in their own way.

She was so enraptured by the Purrgil, and just following them outside of the asteroid’s gravity well, she didn’t even notice when Ahsoka had reopened her eyes.  She just turned to look at the Purrgil to her right, and saw the other woman watching them as well.

“Do you have a heading?”  Sabine asked her, catching Ahsoka’s attention.  The Togruta woman turned to her with a gentle smile on her lips.  Ahead of them, the two Purrgil that had been directing them broke off, pulling forward.  Their tentacles began to glow, with the all to familiar clue that they were preparing to jump to Hyperspace.

“Follow the Purrgil.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa two chapters in a row with no memories to break them up what is this?! Well I swapped the chapters up so that next week since I won't get the Epilogue out by the time Treason comes out I want at least to have a Thrawn and Ezra chapter up, so there's something to look forward to.
> 
> Also, disclaimer: this story, plot points and characters are not at all effected by what happens in Treason, including the excerpts that have come out thus far. If any similarities arise (which I doubt) they are purely coincidental. I just wanted to make sure that was known before the book comes out. This also means that there will be no spoilers to Treason in this fic, including in my authors notes. Can't wait for the book though, have fun and stay spoiler free my friends!
> 
> Stay Wizrad  
> ~[Mortis (My Tumblr also will be spoiler free for the first week after Treason drops)]()


	23. Memories - Thrawn - Light at the Beginning of the Tunnel

“What’s the Death Star?”  It was the question Thrawn had been anticipating ever since the crash.  He knew it would come, and along with it, the panic, the rage, the pain.  However, it took much longer for the question to come than Thrawn had anticipated.  He had thought that upon opening himself up to questions from Bridger, that would spur the boy to ask, and he’d been right.  But now that the chance was before him, the memory felt no less sore.

“Project Stardust.”  He began, leaning back a bit from the fire.  “Run by Director Krennic and backed by the Emperor himself, was a project to construct a super weapon, one with enough power to destroy ships, cities, worlds.”  His tone dropped as he finished his sentence, face going dark.

“What?  There’s no way, nothing can be that strong unless…”  Bridger’s eyes narrowed, his brow scrunching together in intense thought, he was trying very hard to remember something.  “Saw...H-He said something similar, he was convinced that the Empire was building some super weapon and, if they were actually using Kyber crystals…”  He trailed off, his face morphing into a mild look of horror. “You’re being serious? They’re actually building some super weapon using Kyber crystals?!”

“Yes I am certain.”  It was his turn to narrow his eyes, a mild look of confusion mixing in his features.  “What are Kyber crystals?” He’d never heard of such a thing nor had Kyber been any of the shipments or manifests he and Eli had uncovered.  Other than Doonium in vast quantities, most other resources seemed standard for any Imperial project. Unless they were shipped under other names.

“Kyber crystals are what are used to power lightsabers.  They’re like...focusing crystals, but really powerful. Sabine and I went with Saw, chasing down this giant Kyber crystal the Empire had.  Saw wanted to follow it to where they were building the super weapon, but we were only taken to a drop off point. We never found anything.”

Thrawn threaded his fingers together before him, his elbows resting on his knees.  A focusing crystal utilized by the Jedi for their lightsabers, an impressive weapon on its own.  No doubt in large sizes or quantities, the attack power of this weapon could be very well on par with his estimates, if not beyond.

“This weapon will spread terror across the galaxy.  Rebels, civilians and Imperials alike will be in danger.”

“Imperials?  Why would they be in danger?”  Thrawn eyed Bridger, feeling some frustration itching at him.

“The Emperor would not be satisfied bringing the Rebels in check.  He is a paranoid man, and fear of losing his soldiers loyalty will have him using this weapon upon them as well, to keep them under his control.”

“How are you so sure?"

"I have met with the Emperor many times.  I know what this man wants, and how he wishes to achieve them.  My promotion to Grand Admiral came after the massacre at Batonn, death and apparent malicious use of force pleased him."  He watched Bridget's face twist up in disgust.

"Kallus told us about that.  How you killed everyone in some mining complex there, more civilians than anything died there."  His mistrust was growing again, and while Thrawn didn't want to defend himself over what had happened there.  While it was not him who flicked the switch that set off the explosions, or even ordered it, it was him who allowed Pryce to go, the woman he distrusted and had his own reservations over.  He was just as responsible for not trying to stop her from going, or placing his own personnel on the mission. But Bridger would not care for the distinction and he needed to keep the boy more on his side if they were to make it out of this together.

"No, not me.  It was Governor Pryce."

"W-What?"

“At Batonn, the explosion that resulted in so many casualties was not triggered nor ordered by me.  It was Governor Pryce acting in a way to cover up her own actions that went against the mission we sent her there to do.  I had no proof to call her under suspicion with, but I know it was her. However, the Emperor, believing the carnage to be an act of ruthlessness was pleased, leading to my own promotion.”  He knew he was scowling in disgust, but that is what he was. Remembering all the innocents lost people who were caught in the middle, people who could have surrendered peacefully, all wiped out in an instant without warning.  It left a vile taste in his mouth, and poked at the fire of anger he had for Pryce. “I try to leave as few casualties as possible, on both sides of altercations. I only take lives I feel are necessary.”

“What about over Lothal?  Were those deaths necessary?”  The anger was still there, however much more intense than it was before.  Thrawn could understand why.

“I am sorry Bridger.”  Apologizing felt foreign on his tongue, usually Thrawn justified his actions rather than apologize.  He never did something unless he was honest, this time he was. “The Emperor had ordered the attack on the city, the first wave I had taken liberties to target buildings and avoid the civilians, my crew is very talented.  However the second wave, if not completed the Emperor had his own threats against Thrawn and his crew. The man’s tolerance for Thrawn’s repeated opposition to the Death Star had run out, and he wasn’t shy of expressing that.

“You could have still not followed it!”

“You are right.  Which is why you have my apologies.  I have accumulated some regrets in my time of Imperial service, none of which atones for my actions.”  He looked up at Bridger, allowing the boy to see the purest of his emotions lying just under the surface.  “I am sorry Ezra Bridger, to you, and to the lives ruined for my own selfish desires. You’ve given me a ripe punishment for my deeds.”

Bridger watched him, not trying to hide his own shock.  Mouth agape, eyes wide and at a complete loss for words.  Thrawn wanted to tap into some of the spite held in his core, blame Bridger for opening the door to the Emperor and Krennic to build their devastating weapon, but it would do no good.  What’s done is done, and there was nothing any of them could do to stop it now. And Thrawn was just so tired.

He was tired of fighting a continuously losing battle.  Tired of giving up everything for a frugal goal that he knew deep down was nothing more than a wish, a hope.  The Empire would never be the weapon he wanted it to be, the defense against a looming threat that was far greater.  The Emperor’s selfishness, greed and corruption meant he would provide no aid to his people, rather only take action when the threat turned on him.  Even then, he may allow it to wreak its havoc before intervening. The Emperor enjoyed pitting allied sides against one another for fun.

Deep down, Thrawn knew after meeting the Emperor that his mission was lost.  But he is stubborn, and too much had gone into his plan, he refused to give up.  But then there was the rampant corruption that the Empire was built on, the slave’s backs it was physically built on, and the worlds destroyed in their wake.  Thrawn’s own selfishness blinded him, and now he, and perhaps the galaxy would pay the price.

His chest clenched, heart aching as the guilt gnawed at his insides.  It’s what he deserved, he knew, but nevertheless, it hurt. And he feared for the galaxy he left behind.  The Empire, The Chiss, Eli. If he died on this world, his final wish to the universe was that they all were safe and did not suffer for his failure.

“I...I’m going to sleep.”  Bridger mumbled, looking down at the dirt with a far off stare.  Thrawn nodded to him. The boy stood, and setting up a bit farther out than he had the night previous, prepared for sleep.  Bridger was confused, Thrawn could see the raging debate in him over his thoughts on Thrawn and the Chimaera’s crew. He knew, comparatively, Thrawn was different from other Imperials, not just in skill and intellect.  Others were far more ruthless and unapologetic than he, no doubt being faced with Thrawn a more gray Imperial than most is harming his moral code. He was young, and while mature for his age as a Human, he still had much to learn.

Thrawn watched Ezra’s tense back that was facing him.  He knew that the boy wasn’t sleeping, he was too stuck in thought and tense to fall asleep any time soon.  Thrawn didn’t have too much experience around children or young adults of Bridger's age. He knew much of the Chiss Navigators, all of whom are under the age of fifteen, and Chiss did not get assigned aboard ship until twenty, at the earliest.  Though Thrawn himself was an exception to that trend. That being said, of teens in Bridger’s age group Thrawn rarely ever saw. He was in the odd stage of life for Humans, between being a child and an adult, where everything around them changes and they are hit with it all at once.  Chiss hit that stage earlier than Humans, regardless, he still recalls how that felt. Though his own change from a child’s world to an adults was much earlier than an average Chiss, the fear, the nervousness, the overwhelming nature of it all was very fresh in his mind. He could understand a bit of what Ezra’s thoughts were doing to him.

It took some time, but eventually the boy relaxed, the lulling sound of the cackling fire and whisper of a breeze arss the forest floor must have mingled well with the flowing river to calm his racing mind.  Bridger had to of fallen asleep, which was good, they couldn’t afford their Force user over exerting himself. Thrawn feared they’d need his skills down the road, once Thrawn himself couldn’t replicate as they needed.

With Bridger asleep now, not that Thrawn had been secretive about it as of late, he activated his holoprojector once again.  Eli’s smile, despite being slightly obscured by the bisecting line, still put Thrawn’s mind and heart at ease. He thought it silly, that he, a Chiss that was able to be so reserved and independent, had such a weakness for this one extraordinary Human.

Eli came into his life by pure accident.  He just so happened to be on the ship that Thrawn caught the attention of by pure coincidence.  However, keeping the Human by his side was intentional and calculated. At first simply because he thought the man a spy, but quickly after realizing that weren’t the case, he found the man’s intellect and aptitude for logic surpassed many of his peers.  Eli was a genius in simplest terms and Thrawn refused to let his genius go to waste.

From there, Thrawn became enamored, which also was an accident.  Enamored with Eli’s bright smile, his growing confidence, his fearlessness, his strength, his loyalty, his heart.  In hindsight, it was obvious Thrawn would develop feelings for him, but in the moment they just encroached on him until it was too late to force them away.  Eli didn’t fully understand him, but he was the only person who even came close to understanding, and one of a select few who wanted to understand. And not to manipulate him, or to defeat him, but because he cared.  That was one of the things that got Thrawn, how much Eli cared. Cared about himself, his family, his coworkers, civilians, Imperials, aliens, Thrawn. His heart was so large, but not too innocent. He understood the world, better than Thrawn did at first, but he didn’t allow it to jade him.  He still believed, still hoped that a safe and happy galaxy was possible. Eli wasn’t always the optimistic one, but he always believed, and Thrawn commended him for that.

When it happened precisely, or what the tipping point was, Thrawn wasn’t certain.  All he was sure of was that he’d fallen in love with Eli Vanto, and no amount of time, or distance could ever chip away at that feeling.  It was a strange one, Thrawn had loved, of course, he loved his Brother, he loved his people, but this was a different kind of love. And that one was foreign to him.  A love that made him want to cherish Eli, to make him the best man he could be, be the best man he could be for Eli, raise him up to be the happiest, even if that meant his happiest was away from Thrawn.  That was new, and terrifying, but not completely unenjoyable.

He caressed the holo with one finger, hoping beyond all hope that he really did have Eli with him.  But he’d never want to condemn Eli to this fate. He just wished, that one final time before he died, he could see Eli in person.  But he’d never want to see Eli looking upon him with disgust, and with the actions he’s taken the terrible deeds he’s done, that is what he’d receive.  For now, he could just keep what he had and pretend.

He pressed the button on the side of the holo flipping from the holo to the recording.  IF Bridger was awake or not it did not matter. The boy knew of Eli now, and if he were feigning sleep to eavesdrop on him, let him.  The recording began, starting with the empty space before Eli came on screen, his nervous smile making Thrawn smile. Everything about this message was awkward, melancholy, and humorous all at the same time, and perhaps Thrawn’s most treasured possession.  He’d watched and watched this message so many times over the time Eli had been away he could recite it word for word now.

_ “Well, here goes nothing.” _   Eli appeared in the holo, nervous smile that Thrawn knew would have heat signatures across his cheeks if they were in person. _   “So this is goodbye.  I know we’ll get to say our right goodbyes in person but...I know we’ll be separated for a long time, so thought I’d at least leave you something so you don’t forget me.  Though I know you won’t, you don’t forget anything.” _   No matter how many times he watched this recording, despite always knowing what was coming and what Eli would say, Thrawn’s heart skittered a beat when Eli laughed sadly like that.   _ “I understand the importance of this mission, and will carry out my duty fully and happily…” _   Eli said that a lot, having picked it up from their Cheunh lessons as a Chiss saying.  I was a bit more impactful in the native language, but coming from Eli, it was more so to Thrawn.   _ “But I am gonna miss you Mitth’raw’nuruodo.  I-” _   He paused again, taking a deep breath and continuing in Cheunh.   _ “I await our next meeting.” _   He switched back to Basic.   _ “Whenever we see each other again, when you come back to the Ascendancy with or without the Empire, I need to tell you something.  Something important, something I can’t say right now, but I need to say it. Stay safe Mitth’raw’nuruodo, Thrawn.” _   The recording fizzled out, Eli’s smile dissipating with the light.

Thrawn had driven himself mad trying to decipher what Eli had to tell him.  It could be just about anything. Though one possibility pulled at his heart that had him the most hopeful.  That Eli reciprocated his feelings and wished to confess to him. Which made sense, wanting to wait until Thrawn’s mission was over to bring their feelings into the equation.  But he had no way to be certain. And no he would never know, he’d die alone on this planet without ever telling Eli his true emotions. Even if Eli didn’t feel the same, even if Eli condemned him and wished his death, Thrawn’s spirit would be able to rest with Eli knowing the truth.

His chance had been ripped from him, and it was his own fault.  Now he wished that Eli truly didn’t feel anything for him other than friendship.  He’s die all over again if he left Eli in the Ascendancy, awaiting a love that would never return.

Something slid down Thrawn’s cheek startling him from his long off stare.  Something cold and wet. He wiped his cheek to find his hand wet with his own tears.  He was crying, either for himself, or for Eli. He didn’t know, it didn’t matter. Thrawn hated to cry, it broke his appearance, his impassiveness, it emotionally drained him and he found it accomplished nothing.  But sometimes, the feelings that built up in his chest became so painful, that crying was the only way to release them. So he wept, face pulled into a frown as silent tears delicately fell from his eyes. What had he become?

* * *

 

Ezra woke on the morning to Thrawn rousing him and offering a ration bar.  He looked up at the Chiss confused, then looked around them and up at the sky, having to squint at the soft light of dawn filtering down from the forest leaves overhead.  It was dawn? Why hadn’t Thrawn woken him up for his share of the night watch? He took the ration bar and watched Thrawn’s retreating back as the blue man finished gathering his own things.

“Did you stay up all night?”  He asked, tearing into the ration.

“I did.”  Thrawn answered, hefting his pack onto his back, then turning to him.

“Why didn’t you wake me?”  Did Thrawn think Ezra couldn’t handle night watches because he was too young?  Or had the alien’s apparent death wish start becoming antsy?

“I was not tired.  I assumed you could use more rest before the walk ahead of us today.”

“What about you?”  As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized that they were too personal and conveyed too much worry than he meant them to.  He flinched and looked away, biting angrily at his ration again.

“I’ve said before, I require less sleep than Humans.  I am fine.”

Thrawn wasn’t fine.  The alien probably didn’t realize, but Ezra hadn’t gone to sleep for sometime last night.  He heard the holorecording of Eli, and what Ezra was convinced was the sounds of Thrawn crying.  Which was utterly horrifying, and Ezra was not about to bring that subject up now or ever. He was quiet, but Ezra could feel his emotions, or some semblance of them.  They were intense, powerful, and somehow Thrawn was projecting them in a way he shouldn’t be able to do, especially when Ezra knew he wasn’t trying to.

But, none of this was Ezra’s problem.  While he couldn’t deny he did feel some worry for the alien, Thrawn’s emotional state really wasn’t important right now.  They still had a lot of ground to cover. They’d only completed one day of walking and had at least two more to go, and Ezra was still sore from yesterday.  So, he finished his ration, packed up his bedroll and stood prepared to walk yet again. Until Thrawn started to do something that could be extremely impactful to him and their survival, Ezra didn’t care.  Or, at least, he pretended not to.

Wordlessly, they began their walk, Ezra’s feet already feeling too strained but if Thrawn wasn’t complaining, he wouldn’t either.  The silence did give Ezra a bit more time to cycle back to the thoughts that had kept him up last night. Particularly concerning Thrawn and his apparent innocent hand he had a Batonn.  Ezra didn’t know much about the Imperial presence there, but Kallus had mentioned it before in briefings about Thrawn. That is was a massacre, more civilians died in the carnage than the apparent insurgents, Ezra liked to call them Rebels, had.  But if Thrawn was telling the truth, and Ezra firmly believed he was, it was Pryce who caused all those casualties. That he could believe.

Pyce was a cruel woman who stopped at nothing to get what she wanted, including destroying her own home.  Her killing a mining complex full of innocent civilians did not surprise him, it did however make him reasonably angry.  That woman betrayed her home, tore apart their family, hurt Hera physically and them all emotionally, and she had no remorse for all she’d done.  Force only knows what she did that Ezra didn’t know about. Comparatively, Ezra was much happier to be stuck with Thrawn than her.

That thought gave him pause.  That was the first time under any circumstance that Ezra had said he was glad to be stuck with Thrawn.  The man who caused his family and the Rebels so much trouble. But he’s been learning so much about the man the weeks they’d been here together, and he’s quickly been shaping up not to be the ruthless man he’d met on the battlefield.  Whether that was due to going from enemies to allies or Thrawn’s own front to manipulate Ezra, he couldn’t tell. But something in him told him it wasn’t the latter.

He stared at the back of the Chiss in front of him.  Of his now tattered and slightly muddy cloak he wore, and drifted his eyes down to his belt, where his blaster and holoprojector was.  The one he’d repaired for him. The one that held his former aide’s image and goodbye message, Eli Vanto. Ezra had finally heard the entire of the message when pretending to sleep, and he was no less confused than before.

Ezra may be slightly dense, and maybe a little too innocent when it came to more mature matters, he knew love when he saw it.  And he was convinced that this Eli loved Thrawn, and Thrawn loved him back. Which was the most startling revelation of any of them.  Thrawn was capable of caring for people, Ezra begrudgingly came to realize that watching how he valued the lives of his crew and for Ezra.  But love, that was something else, and it baffled him that this stoic man could be capable of that.

He continued watching the tall alien man before him, stewing in his thoughts.  Thrawn wasn’t who Ezra thought he was. He wasn’t who any of the Rebels thought he was.  Hera even referred to him and the Chimaera’s crew as evil. And while none of them were happy about Ezra being here, or what Ezra did to them, they were incredibly accommodating to his presence.  No longer hostile towards him, and some even sparing brief conversations with him outside of their regular duties around the camp. Evil wasn’t the first thing that came to mind when thinking about them all.  And this shift in perspective had Ezra reeling.

His entire base of understanding had been ripped from under him.  What he thought was evil was not what he thought was up was down, nothing fit together how it was supposed to anymore, and he wasn’t sure where to go from there.  Other than just surviving through it all with these Imperials, the element of what Ezra thought of them as people was prevalent in their everyday lives, and it was becoming more skewered everyday.  It also made him feel somewhat like an ass for how he treated them.

He used to be the good guy, and they were the bad guys.  So why was it, he feels like the bad guy here? In all of this, ignoring their past, Thrawn had been nothing but polite and helpful to Ezra as well as his crew.  Other than his spike ups at Ezra’s snooping and questions, which those too even died down. Where did that leave them, and where did that leave Ezra’s thoughts on the man.  He wasn’t sure, it was all so confusing. He wished he still had Kanan to guide him. That, and other things.

The duo walked in complete silence.  Ezra never spoke up to initiate conversation and neither did Thrawn.  They just kept a steady pace through the forest, who’s trees had begun to get thicker the farther they moved, Ezra noted.  It wasn’t even mid day, but they’d lost enough sunlight through the dense leaves that it seemed almost dusk. For a moment, Ezra thought that he’d blacked out the entire day as they walked and it was that late, but gazing up at the trees, he could barely even see the sky through them.  He only hoped it wouldn’t get worse, losing their already slim sunlight would slow them down considerably, and they did not have the food to last them any longer than their estimated walk time.

Ezra’s hope had run thin, because things got worse, much worse.  The trees got thicker, thicker, and thicker, their leaves spanning so far and lacing together so well, that eventually they realized that there was a section where the sunlight couldn't break through.  The light and invisibility dropped lower and lower, until ahead of them, they could see no farther than a few meters. It was practically pitch black, and going farther in, Ezra was certain it truly was.

No sunlight could break in, and there was none coming back out.  And to make matters even worse, the river they needed to follow, cut directly into the black void of a forest.  Thrawn and Ezra stopped just before the dark forest, gazing into the stretching abyss, silently dreading what could possibly be lurking within.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Chissmas! I hope you all either got your copies of Treason or are effectively dodging spoilers, here's our Tuesday update, hopefully I see you all here to read it! Sorry it's a bit late (but still Tuesday in my timezone) I was babysitting and then needed to at least start Treason.
> 
> That being said, REMINDER: This story is completely independent from Treason, any similarities are purely coincidental as the rest of the fic is planned out before the release of the book. Which means there are NO SPOILERS in this story and will be none even in my author's notes. This means obviously, no spoilers in any comments please and thank you. <3
> 
> I hope you all enjoy Treason and Destination Zero <3
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	24. Memories - Ezra - Dark Forest

“That, isn’t normal…”  Ezra sighed, staring wide eyed into the stretching void of the dark forest before them.  There was no way a forest could be dense enough to be pitch black, right? Lothal didn’t have many trees to speak of, at least where Ezra lived, but still it just didn’t make sense that an area could be so totally dark during midday because the tree leaves were so thick.

“Perhaps.”  Was all Thrawn said in response.  Ezra eyed him but quickly turned his attention back to the forest.  It made a chill run up his spine just thinking about stepping foot into the unnatural looking darkness.

“We don’t have to go through that, do we?”  He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest.  Maybe the forest really was cold.

“We do.  We must follow the river to reach where we had started in order to return.  As well, we do not have enough rations to attempt voyaging another way, it would take too much time.”  It sounded logical, and Thrawn was probably right, but that didn’t mean Ezra had to like it. With an only slightly exaggerated sigh, Ezra shucked off his backpack and knelt down to fish around for his lamp.

“Fine, at least we have these.”  He pulled out the small electronic lamp, flipping the switch to light it up.  Except it didn’t light up. He flipped it up and down, smacked the side and shook it, rattling the insides but the device remained inactive.

“They are water damaged.”  Thrawn spoke up placing a hand on Ezra’s shoulder to stop him from shaking the lamp to death.  Even though it already died on its own.

“What, no there’s gotta be a way to fix it.”

“There may be, however we do not have the time to do so.  We have precisely enough rations to last us seven days, and we have been away from camp for five days, if we do not continue forward at all haste, we will run out of food before reaching the head of the river.  From there, we should be met with a rescue team, who will have more rations with them.”

“And if they’re not there?”  Thrawn couldn’t know what the others would do, and couldn’t just plan on them meeting them there with food.  It took them three days to reach the river, if no one was there, they’d be out of food and three days walk from any.

“Then we will need to scavenge for an alternative food source.  But they will be there.” That seemed to be all Thrawn wanted to say, no elaborating or proof.  Fine, when they get to the beginning of the river, starving, Ezra will get to say ‘I told you so’.

“Okay, fine, but how are we going to get through this without any light?  I could make some torches I guess, help me find some tree branches.” He stood, slinging the backpack over his shoulders, and turned to scour the ground for a decent enough sized stick, only for Thrawn to grab his shoulder again and pull him back.

“Wait.”  He spoke, taking a few steps forward, kneeling and running his hand through the twigs and leaves on the ground.  Then, he stood, feeling the trunk of the nearest tree. “It is too dry.”

“Too dry?”  Ezra made sure Thrawn could feel his disbelief.  Thrawn nodded slowly.

“The ground and the trees receive next to no rain water due to the dense leaves.  Walking around with an open flame could ignite the kindling on the ground, and spread quickly.  You would start a forest fire before we could put out the initial torch.” Ezra looked down at the forest floor, kicking some of the leaves and twigs with his boot, furrowing his brow at it.

“Not if we’re careful, like-”

“Sparks or wayward cinders will fall from the torch, and in the dark with limited lighting, it is possible to miss when they do.”  Ezra rolled his eyes, crossing his arms again over his chest.

“Well, we can’t exactly walk through the forest blind!”

“Perhaps not I.  But you can.” He gave Ezra a small smile, one that told him Thrawn was up to no good.

“I can’t see in the dark.”  He deadpanned, fighting not to roll his eyes.  Thrawn, rather than acknowledge Ezra’s undeniable proof, went off on his own thoughts.

“The Master Jedi, Kanan Jarrus, he was blinded, correct?  And yet he was very able to move around, fight, and explore areas he’d never been before.  Such as the Imperial Dome when rescuing Hera Syndulla.”

Ezra didn’t answer him, just being reminded of Kanan, especially of his blindness, which Ezra never fully forgave himself for, and, his death still very fresh in his mind.  He’d gotten some closure by saving the Jedi Temple and from the lothwolf Dume, but losing Kanan was something that would haunt him for the rest of his days.

“I assume it was a result of the Jedi’s connection to the Force.  Can you replicate this?”

“Kanan had to learn how to see through the Force because he had no choice!  I can’t just learn it on the fly like this!”

“I believe you can.”  Thrawn spoke firmly, staring directly into Ezra’s eyes.

“You don’t know anything about the Force, Kanan was taught to do what he did by Bendu, he’s not here to teach me!”

“I could teach you something similar.”

Ezra wanted to scoff, to snort and laugh in the alien’s face, insist that Thrawn was joking.  The stoic man who never cracked a joke was kidding around with him right now, because there was no way Thrawn, who was ignorant of all things Force and Jedi related, could teach Ezra anything about it.  He may not be an expert, or know all there is to know, but he damn well knew more than Thrawn ever could or would. But Thrawn looked deadly serious, no sign of joking at all in his face or his tone, and it shocked Ezra enough to keep his own face straight.

“Yeah no, that’s not happening.”  He looked Thrawn up and down, trying to double check that there wasn’t some twitch of humor in the man’s body, when his eyes landed on something else, sparking an idea.  “Your holoprojector,” he pointed out, gesturing to the device, “it casts light. We can use that, it’s better than nothing, and in that dark it’ll at least light up enough that we could avoid stuff in our way.”  He gave Thrawn a smile, cocking his head up proudly.

Thrawn turned his own gaze down, grabbing the holoprojector from his belt, looking as if he’d forgotten it was there, though Ezra was certain he hadn’t.  He switched it on, the now very familiar face of Eli springing forth, slightly lighting up Thrawn’s own face. Without speaking, the alien began walking into the forest, beyond the light line coming in from their side, and being swallowed by the dark shadows.  With the holoprojector, Ezra could still vaguely see the Chiss, standing between two narrow trees, his back to him.

“This shall be sufficient for now.  I cannot teach you if you are unwilling, so this is what we shall use for the beginning of our hike.”

“What do you mean by that?”  Ezra asked, looking at the dark forest hesitantly.  Despite seeing Thrawn standing so casually in the suffocating darkness unharmed, he still did not trust that there wasn’t something within that was waiting to pounce.

“The holoprojector is powered by solar energy.  Too long without sunlight and its fuel reserves will deplete.  Since being damaged and the limited direct sunlight through the trees the past days, its energy must be low as is.  I do not predict we will make it to the other side of this dense patch of trees when the projector dies.”

“Is that why you kept it strapped to your belt?  So it could receive sunlight?” He had wondered why Thrawn hadn’t stowed it away in his pack, where he’d be less likely to lose it.  Ezra still remembered when Saw Gurrera had dropped his holo of his sister, Steela, on Geonosis, it was very likely the same could happen to Thrawn.

“Precisely.”  Was Thrawn’s answer.  Ezra had thought that he kept it on his belt out of sentimental value, seeing how attached to the holo Thrawn was.  Maybe that was part of it, and this was the other.

Deciding that standing outside of the dark forest while Thrawn stood inside completely un-phased was a bit too cowardly, Ezra finally crossed the threshold, mumbling, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” as he did.  Nothing physically changed from the lighter part of the forest, deeper into the darkness, but mentally, he shivered at the difference.

Standing beside the alien, Ezra gazed out before them.  He could see the two trees that framed their path, but beyond that it was still too dark to see.  The light source had a minimal range, but it was enough to keep them from stumbling face first into something.  Thrawn took a few more steps in, passing the two trees, holding the holo of Eli in front of him like a flashlight.  Ezra followed right behind, trailing after the silhouette of Thrawn’s back the holo made. He made it a meter and a half before turning off to the right, avoiding another tree.

“This will work, however it does slow down our progress.”

“Then let’s go faster, and hopefully we’ll get to the other side and can get back in the sunlight.”  Thrawn paused to gaze at Ezra, his eyes glowing more intensely now in the dark than Ezra had ever noticed before.  “Your eyes glow, and you can’t see in the dark?” He asked as Thrawn turned back forward to keep walking.

“Not well enough for our purposes.”  Thrawn answered, taking a side step to the right to avoid another tree.  Ezra felt the trunk as they past, his hand coming up covered in dry bark.

“Why not?  Your eyes are actual lights.”  Thrawn didn’t answer him right away, maybe thinking of the best way to phrase the answer.  Ezra figured he was trying to find what information he didn’t care that Ezra knew.

“Chiss eyes glow, because my people used to live underground in ice caves.  The ice was reflective so the light rays emitted from our eyes could return to us in the form of images.  As well, we see partially into the infrared, which aided in sight of other Chiss while underground. This forest is no were near as reflective enough to be useful, I am as blind as you.”

“Pretty useless feature.”  Ezra mumbled, Thrawn apparently not wanting to respond to it.  Figures Thrawn might have something that could have been useful but it wasn’t.

They continued for a bit longer in silence, Ezra’s head whipping around trying to catch sight of anything.  With the limited light from the holo, he could see nothing except what was directly in front of him. Which only added to the creepiness of this place.  A pitch black forest, plants and possibly animals that had never seen sunlight, or at least not for a very long time.

“How do you think all these plants stay alive?”  Ezra asked wanting badly to break the silence. “The leaves get sunlight somewhere up there obviously, but if it’s so dry, where do they get water?”

“The river.”  Thrawn answered, pointing off to the river that was just off in the darkness.  “The tree’s roots stretch far enough to reach where the soil is moist from the river water.  Before the damn break, that had to be at the very base, now however, their roots have more area.  Within a few months the soil could absorb enough moisture to be damp once again.”

Ezra looked down at the dry ground then off towards where he heard the river flowing.  It made sense, but it still shocked Ezra how quickly Thrawn could come to such likely conclusions.  He used to think it was just the man wanting to be a know it all show off, but now...now he realized that’s just how Thrawn is.  He wasn’t trying to show off, or flex his brain power, he just wanted to answer the question he was asked. Which was even more baffling.

Thrawn was so quickly shaping up to be unlike any Imperial Ezra ever had the displeasure of meeting.  He wasn’t greedy, after money or fame, he wasn’t cutthroat, taking down the people around him to get ahead, and certainly wasn’t a suck up, just trying to get on the Emperor’s good side.  He just was in the Empire and doing whatever he does best.

“Why did you join the Empire?”  He had asked before why Thrawn served the Emperor, but never got a straight answer.  But why Thrawn, by all accounts the least Imperial acting Imperial, was serving the Empire at all had been nagging at him.  Thrawn didn’t answer him at first, and they made a few more steps before he even took another breath.

“I was sent by my people on a mission.  I was meant to observe the Empire and determine whether they would be possible allies to face the growing threats in the Unknown Regions or possible enemies themselves.  When brought before the Emperor, he gave me an offer, to serve him and the Empire. Allowing me resources and first hand knowledge of the Empire’s workings and methods. I could use the Empire to learn from it, as well as aide my people from afar, when the interests of the Empire and my people coincided.”

“You thought the Empire would be helpful?”  Ezra scoffed shaking his head. The Empire was only good at helping themselves, and hurting everyone around them in the process.

“It was, for a time.”  Thrawn admitted. “However, the Empire was quickly slipping further and further from my grasp with the Emperor’s own support of projects such as Stardust.  I had held hope that I could be in a position to influence the Emperor’s replacement when he finally stepped down or died, it seems it was nothing more than a fool's hope.”

Ezra fell silent for a moment.  That wasn't what he expected to hear from Thrawn.  More proof that the alien wasn’t the cruel, sinister, evil man he thought he was.  Thrawn was in no way innocent, he’d contributed to the near destruction of Lothal, stole from Hera, taunted her.  But compared to other Imperials, like Pryce, he was not nearly as horrible.

“Why didn’t you leave, if the Empire was getting worse?”

“As I said, I had hoped to replace the Emperor when the time came.  It was still manipulable, I could bend it slightly, or turn it’s destruction on the right path.  I have been told I am stubborn, and perhaps that is a portion of the reason why I stayed. If given a second chance, I’m may have left, my people needed me, and maybe the Empire wasn’t the best way to help them.”

“What is this threat you keep talking about?  How bad can it be if I’ve never heard of it before?”  Thrawn stopped walking, just long enough that Ezra had to stop, before he continued forward, giving Ezra a small side eye.

“A people, who crave only conquer and conquest.  Who kill, kidnap and destroy everything in their paths.  A people far worse than the Empire ever could have been.”  Ezra felt a chill run down his spine as Thrawn’s tone dropped, the Chiss’ shoulders tightened before him, and even the very energy around them became tense.  Ezra didn’t like the darker shift the mood around them had taken, especially since they were already in a dark foreboding forest as it was. It was just a bit too much.

“So um,” he began ready to change the topic, “the Emperor offered to let you in the Empire?  No offense, but he just let a non-human in? It’s no secret the Empire hates non-humans.” The Empire was never shy about turning up their noses at non-humans, and hissing ‘ _ alien _ ’ at them.  The fact that Thrawn, with his blue skin and glowing red eyes was allowed into the Empire was shocking.

“I take no offense, what you say is true.  Succeeding in the Empire was difficult, but manageable.  I had known an old servant of the Emperor, a Jedi Knight, who had spoken highly enough of me to convince the Emperor of my abilities.”

“You met a Jedi?”   _ And you’re still like this? _ He added for himself in his head.

“A Jedi General, Anakin Skywalker.  Who has since perished.” If they weren’t slowly traversing in the dark, and if Thrawn didn’t have their only light, Ezra would have stopped to gawk at Thrawn.

He met Anakin Skywalker, as in, Ahsoka’s old master Anakin Skywalker?  The one who became Darth Vader? Did Thrawn know that’s what happened to him?  He said he perished, so he must believe that Anakin was dead. Ezra wasn’t about to be the person to drop that bomb.

“If you were around during the Clone Wars, why didn’t you join the Republic?”

“The Republic was corrupt and unstable, in the midst of a civil war with itself, it would have been of no use to the Chiss.  The Republic eventually became the Empire, so if I had, I would still have found myself serving the Empire.”

Ezra slumped his shoulders despite knowing no one could see it.  Thrawn was right, and he was getting a little tired of him always being right.  One of these times Thrawn will have to slip up and be wrong. Ezra bested him over Lothal, it was possible to do it again, right?  He wasn’t all knowing, he didn’t even have the Force, that alone put Ezra ahead of Thrawn in knowledge.

Having exhausted any more questions he could think of at the moment, Ezra allowed the silence to come back.  They’d been walking for a bit now, and turning around, he couldn’t see the way they had come through any longer.  All around them was complete obscuring darkness. Thankfully they were following the river, without that, it would be very easy to get turned around and wander aimlessly in circles.

He peered around Thrawn to gaze at the holoprojector.  Eli’s still image lighting the path before them. He wondered if Thrawn found it weird to be using his old coworker’s face as a light source.  Ezra sure did. He moved back so he was staring at Thrawn’s back. He couldn’t quite shake the feeling like there was something in these woods, something nearby, watching them.  Somehow observing them in the darkness, but no matter how much he listened and whipped his head around, he could see nothing moving in the shadows and no shuffling sounds of prowling animals met his ears.  Maybe the light is what was keeping them at bay, so long as they had it, they need not worry about altercation.

Of course, however, their luck had to wear out.  Their holo didn’t go out all at once. At first, the light began to dim, lighting up less and less as they walked.  Then the image began flickering more frequently than before. Then with its last stuttering breaths, the image flipped on and off like a strobe before finally going totally dark.  Leaving Ezra and Thrawn alone in the dark, completely blind.

“Karabast!”  Ezra cursed blinking in the dark, as if he could adjust to is and suddenly be able to see.  He could hear Thrawn still in front of him, shuffle and clip the holo to his belt. “We didn’t even make it that far, the end of the forest could be Force knows how much farther!”

“Bridger.”  Thrawn called, voice much clearer, he must have turned around to face him.  “Are you willing to attempt our other method now?”

“Let you try and explain a Force technique to me?  What do you even know about the Force?”

“More than you know.”  Ezra furrowed his brow.  Thrawn didn’t know the first thing about the Force, he said so himself.  He’d probably just end up wasting their time with his apparent burst of idiocy.  “Bridger,” Thrawn said forcibly, “we have limited time and options.” Unfortunately, yet again, Thrawn had a point.  Ezra could think of nothing else to get through other than walking around slowly with his hands held out in front of him.

“Fine.”  He’d let Thrawn instruct or do whatever he wanted to do, and instead try and figure it out on his own.

“I am about to touch you.”  Thrawn gave him the warning, but when the man’s hand grabbed his shoulder, Ezra still flinched at the contact.  He allowed the Chiss to direct him around until he was standing in front of Thrawn, facing forward. Both Thrawn’s hands rested on his shoulders, and some thought in the very back of his head, reminded him of his father.  A long lost memory of his father grabbing his shoulders similarly, either to show him something, or pose for a portrait. He fought off the phantom memory only for a new one to join it. Of Kanan, a man his father in everything but name, grabbing his shoulders during instruction of the Force, guiding him.  And then, a memory of just two months ago, when Thrawn had lead him by his shoulder to the Emperor himself.

The memories made his emotions feel raw, as if he could turn around and see Kanan or his father there behind him instead of Thrawn.  He wanted to shrug off Thrawn’s hands, feeling somehow that Thrawn was soiling those memories for him, but he knew that wasn’t the intent.  So he just clenched his jaw and bared through it.

“Close your eyes.”  Thrawn instructed.

“Why?  I already can’t see.”  Thrawn’s hands tightened on his shoulders a fraction before relaxing again.

“Bridger.”

“Fine fine, yeah, they’re closed.”  He closed his eyes, grimacing as he did so.  He may not be able to see regardless, but it still felt like he was opening himself up to attack.

“Good, now, open your mind, your surroundings are speaking to you, listen.”  Ezra furrowed his brows, fighting off the urge to turn around and look at Thrawn, for the very fact he knew he wouldn’t be able to see.  That description, it was far too accurate to what reaching out with the Force was like. It was expanding himself and listening to everything around him.  The music of world’s Force energy.

“H-How do you know this?”  He asked instead of turning around.  He could feel Thrawn tense behind him, and the Chiss was somehow projecting his deeper feelings again.  Ezra could sense Thrawn’s unease, his internal debate before he answered.

“The Chiss have individuals who possess Force cognizance.  I am familiar with these individuals. It is different from how you Jedi experience the Force, however, you can mimic the ability they have.”  Ezra felt his tongue go dry, listening to Thrawn speak, while reaching out like this, he could feel how much it took for Thrawn to say that. His words had come smoothly and deceptively easily, there was still a storm of uncertainty within the alien.  Him telling Ezra this felt like a very closely guarded secret, one Thrawn did not keep for himself, but maybe his entire species. Despite the casual deliver of the secret, Ezra realized this was extremely important, and silently he made his own vow never to speak of it to anyone.  Not for Thrawn, but for whoever that secret was meant to protect.

“But a while ago, over Lothal, you said you didn’t understand the Force.”

“I said the mysteries of the Force were an enigma to me, I am unfamiliar with how you experience the Force compared to my people.”  Ezra swallowed trying to relax and focus on the matter at hand. He held out his hand, relaxing as he stretched out with the Force, touching everything around him, the dirt, the trees, the air, the river.  He pushed until he’d felt everything and they spoke back to him. Just before he were to drift off into meditation, he pulled back slightly.

“Okay, now what?”  His own voice sounded far off, as if he were standing to the side, speaking to himself.

“Step forward, keep listening, the things around you will warn you before you hit them.”  Thrawn’s voice sounded even farther away, and as if he were speaking underwater to Ezra. But he heard him, and followed through.  Taking a step, he pressed out again, extending his consciousness beyond himself and opening his mind.

He took a few more steps, not sensing anything.  A few more steps, Thrawn directly behind him, arms still on his shoulders.  One more step, and in his mind a flash of something in the blackness. A large tree trunk in their path, off set to the right, three steps away.  He moved to the left, taking four more steps and moved his hand to the right, feeling the trunk he’d seen in his mind. It had worked.

“Very good Bridger, keep going.  As you repeat this, you may drift off into your own subconscious, I will bring you back if it comes to that.”  Ezra didn’t answer him, and continued walking forward, already feeling the progress come easier. He managed to walk them past a few more obstacles before the world began to fall away from him.  Within his own mind, he was alone in the black and all around him, jutting from the void were luminescent tree trunks, glowing a brilliant whit, stretching on above him like pillars of light. As he walked, aware of the light trees he was able to easily avoid them, walking through his own mind in a way he could only assume his body was doing as well.

It was beautiful, this world in his subconscious, he was so detached from reality, and yet so grounded in it all with the Force.  Occasionally, he would pause to touch a tree, watching his fingers dance over the light. It was relaxing, calming, and more secure than wandering around in a dark forest.  Time didn’t feel like it worked here in his mind, he walked, for what could have been seconds or days with no break up the monotony of the light trees. Until he realized he wasn’t alone.  He felt something else press into his mind, something foreign and yet familiar. The alien presence he’d been catching glimpses off ever since coming to this world, the one that manifested itself as a glowing red orb.  It was here.

He felt it first before he saw it.  However, unlike the previous times he’d seen it, it wasn't shy or skittish, or hiding.  Once he felt it, it was there, appearing before Ezra’s own self manifestation. It no longer had a hand, still a perfect sphere, but it moved around lively, as if it felt free of something.  It came close to Ezra, swirling around him, not touching but coming closer than it had ever come, and all of its own choice no less. It seemed so much brighter now than it had before, clearer and brighter.

“Is this where you’re from?”  He asked it, his voice echoing in his mind chamber.  “Do you live in the dark forest?” He didn’t receive an answer.  The sphere followed along side Ezra as he continued walking and avoiding trees.  “Who are you?” That question seemed to do something to the sphere, it shivered before Ezra’s eyes.

The floating orb moved around Ezra erratically for a moment before calming down and beginning to change.  At first, the perfect sphere began to wobble losing its curves. Then, out from its center it began pushing out in four directions, like a trapped animal inside a bubble.  It pushed, the four points of pressure growing longer and longer, then finally taking shape, as four limbs. Two arms, two legs, the center reshape itself to resemble a chest and pushed up a smaller orb, forming a faceless head.

The orb had shifted into a bipedal humanoid figure.  At first, it looked like a silhouette of Ezra, as if it was trying to learn to manifest itself by copying him.  From there, it changed yet again, growing a bit taller than Ezra, but formed no other details. It looked down at itself, moving its hands, wiggling its fingers, and inspecting its own arms, as if shocked it now had a body of its own.  It seemed just as shocked as Ezra. It looked around Ezra, at the light trees, like it was seeing them for the first time.

Suddenly, its head snapped to the side, staring behind Ezra.  He looked behind him, pausing in his walking, but he didn’t see anything but the trees they’d long passed. The orb, its feet touching the ground in Ezra’s subconscious, and stepped closer, staring at something Ezra couldn’t see.

“What?!  What is it?”  He looked between the figure and the empty void, back and forth.  There was nothing there. But the figure saw something, and its newly formed arm jutted out, grabbing Ezra’s shoulder and pulling him roughly to the side.  The sudden and direct contact gave Ezra a flash of the figure’s mind, and in an instant, he knew what it was.

* * *

 

It did not take Bridger long to get lost in the state all Navigators would fall into as they used their Third Sight.  He was performing admirably, able to expertly maneuver them around any obstacle before them. Thrawn knew this meant he could see the obstacles, in his subconscious mind, which lead to the perfect dodging of the trees.  They had made it about a two hours walk further, and Thrawn felt the lull of silence begin to get to him. As well as the nostalgia.

It had been a long time since he’d seen a Chiss Navigator in action.  The disturbance he and Vader were sent to investigate by the Emperor was the first time he’d even seen a Navigator since leaving the Ascendency.  Admittedly, he was very pleased to not only save the girls, but get to see other Chiss again. To hear his native tongue from a mouth other than his own.  It made all the hardships of that mission worth it. To return the girls safely, to see them happy for the first time it what must have been a long while. The two youngest of the group, once alone with him, had hugged him tightly, while the others simply wanted to be near him.  His was the first friendly face they’d seen in a long while.

It must have helped that they could see the truth about him.  They felt safe with him and very able to confide in him. Already, he missed the girls, and could only hope they were safe and an actual investigation went into finding what Chiss betrayed the poor girls to the Grysk.

Everything about this situation was different.  They weren’t aboard a ship, Bridger wasn’t Chiss, and rather than space, they were traversing a forest.  But as long as it continued to work, Thrawn found the dissimilarities a non-hindrance.

Yet still, he couldn’t ignore the memories that were stirred by Bridger.  Memories that he would let his mind get lost in. Of simpler times, harder times, lonelier times, livelier times.  It was easy to close his own eyes, allow Bridger to lead them both through the darkness. The absolute trust that the boy needed to give him to do this was not lost on him.  He relaxed, exhaling slowly through his nose, the tension leaving his shoulders.

He felt a peace for the first time in a long, long while.  A peace he hadn’t been able to feel since leaving his people.  Despite being farther from them than he’d ever been, he felt more connected to them in this moment.  The forest felt far away from him, Bridger able to part the waves of darkness before them until he felt he could see again.

And in a rush, the calm evaporated and Thrawn was completely alert.  Something in him, a long dead part of his mind pulled at his instincts.  A warning, a screaming danger approaching from behind them, coming up fast and Bridger apparently unaware of its presence.  And yet, despite the fact he shouldn’t be able to, he felt it, could hear it, not with his ears, but his mind. It was fast, angry and preparing to attack.

Without a thought, Thrawn pulled on Bridger, throwing him to the side and jumping out of the way just as something whipped past them with a growl.  He felt the wind hit his face, the subtle smell of fur wafting past his nose and he heard the snap of its jaws before the paws of the creature impact the dry soil.  Four paws, quadruped, snarling, sharp canines, strong sense of smell.

“Thrawn?!”  Bridger shouted, sounding slightly delirious and confused.

“There is a predator Bridger, mount your defense!”  He barked his warning, stepping backwards towards where Bridger’s voice had come from.  He heard the boy scurry to his feet and the spring lock trigger of his borrowed training staff release.  He couldn’t hear the animal any more, it moved silently on the ground, knowing how to traverse near silently.  It couldn’t see them, he was certain nothing could see in these woods, but it must be able to hear and smell exceedingly well to pinpoint their location.

Bridger gave him a shove with his shoulder and again he felt the creature lunged past him, just barely missing.  Unfortunately for the creature, Bridger had the Force on his side. He heard the beast yelp in pain, the all familiar sound of training staff impacting flesh accompanying it.  He pulled his blaster from his belt, aiming directly where the creature had landed and fired. It yelped again, and scurried away. In the flash of red from his blaster, which was blindingly bright, he caught sight of the bolt impacting the creatures leg.

It was injured now, and whatever stealth tactics it knew, were useless now.  With its limp, Thrawn could very easily hear it moving around in the forest around them.  It hadn’t given up, it was circling, waiting for another chance to attack. Thrawn followed the noise with his weapon, Bridger situated himself at his back as the duo spun around, covering both directions.

The creatures paws scrapped at the ground, the only warning as it pounced again, right at him.  Bridger stabbed the staff behind him, over their shoulders, managing to hit the creature in the throat, judging by the choking sounds that came from its muzzle.  It fell to the ground and Thrawn unleashed three more shots. The first missed, but using the light flash he managed to hit the beast with the second two. One in the same leg and the other into its chest.  The creature howled a high pitched sound of agony, and that seemed to be enough. It clambered back up and took off into the woods back the way it had come from.

They did not move, listening closely to be sure the creature had made a full retreat.  Only when they felt certain they were safe for the moment did they relax. Bridger let out a long sigh, and slid down to the ground, his staff clattering beside him.  Thrawn let out a breath of his own, holstering his blaster once again. With the immediate threat gone, he had a chance to fully process what had just happened. He looked down at his hands, as if he could see them despite knowing he wouldn’t be able to.

What had he just done?  He didn’t hear the creature approaching, it was sudden and completely silent, not to mention his senses weren’t attuned to their immediate environment at the time, he had been distracted.  And yet, he knew it was there, could see it in his mind, and felt all the alarm bells go off. Alarm bells he hadn’t heard since he was a young boy. Alarm bells he stopped hearing when he’d turned sixteen, but had just heard clear as day.  He shouldn’t have been able to do that, the ability was gone, had been gone for so long, why had it returned, was it back for good, or was it the danger to his life strong enough to spark it just long enough to warn him.

“You!”  Bridger yelled, sitting up from the ground and startling Thrawn from his confused musings.  “The Force presence, that was you the whole time?!” Thrawn turned to him, if Bridger could see him, he would probably see how openly confused he was.

“I don’t know to what you refer.”  He answered, Bridger scoffing in response.

“You’re Force sensitive!”  The accusation came and hit Thrawn harder than he felt it should.  Regardless he felt a loss for words and just stood there in silence.  What was happening?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanna know, how many of you saw that twist coming, or had suspicions on what the Force presence was! I need to know how well or poorly I played that one! I hope you enjoyed, this was a really important chapter that I had been excited for! It also had a few issues because I kept running into inconsistencies, hopefully it all goes together well!
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	25. Chapter Fourteen - Eli - Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Heavy mention to previous child death, proceed with caution or not at all if this is too much for you

Eli made sure everything was arranged and approved before he saw Jessa the next day.  He sat patiently in the waiting room when the door on the parallel wall opened revealing Doctor Marny, and Jessa at her side, holding her hand.  The moment Jessa’s eyes fell on Eli, the girl’s face scrunched up and she took off. Marny released Jessa’s hand letting the girl throw herself at Eli.  He just barely had time to kneel on the ground before the girl barreled into him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and burying her face in his neck.  Quickly, Eli held her, rubbing her back soothingly.

“She kept asking when she could see you again.”  Doctor Marny chuckled as she came to stand beside them.  Eli stood, shifting Jessa to his hip, the girl peeking out to look at the doctor.

“Sorry if that caused any difficulties.”  Eli apologized, carding his fingers through Jessa’s hair until he felt the girl relax in his arms.

“No, it kept her mind off the needles and other scary doctor things.”  She gave Jessa a smile and the girl returned it with a smaller one. “But she has a clean bill of health.  We got her body back on track and it’s healing quickly, one of the perks of youth.” Marny reached into her pocket, handing Eli a pill bottle.  “These are some vitamins to help build up some of which she’s been lacking, she just needs to take two a day with meals and when the bottle is empty she’ll be all back to normal.”

Eli held back his sigh of relief.  It was a load off his mind to know that, at least physically, there would be no long term or permanent consequences of her time down in that mine.  The last thing she needed was a forever reminder of her trauma.

“Anything else I should know about?”  Marny took her datapad from her belt, booting it up and scrolling through it with a hum.

“She had a fracture sometime in the past, it healed on its own, thankfully there shouldn’t be any problems with it, it seemed almost perfectly aligned, however it could be susceptible to breaks in the future if she’s not careful.  Other than that she was relatively lucky all things considered, I expect her to be happy and healthy.”

“That’s a relief.”  He let out a small sigh, subconsciously giving the girl a tighter hug.

“She’s been cleared for discharge, I wish you both the best of luck.”  Her eyes fell to the girl, her smile faltering. “Now, I believe you have some things to discuss with her, I’ll leave you to it.”

“Thank you Doctor Marnel, you’ve done a lot for her.”  Marny gave them both a smile and raised her hands to sign as she spoke.

“Goodbye Eli, Jessa, be good you here?”  Eli shifted Jessa so the girl could lean back and sign herself.  From Eli’s lessons from last night, he recognized ‘thank you’ and ‘goodbye’.  She and Eli share a nod, and she turns heading back through the door she’d come from.

“Do you feel better?”  Eli asked Jessa, turning towards the hospital doors, slipping outside back into the busy streets.  Jessa read his lips, and slowly she nodded.

“Thank you Mr. Eli.”  Jessa whispered, as tears suddenly swelled in her eyes.  “You’ve done so much for me, and you didn’t have to and-”  She choked on her words, tears spilling from her eyes and rolling down her cheeks.

Eli took a quick look around, finding a semi-private enclave between two buildings, he slipped inside, kneeling to set Jessa down.  He shushed her gently, wiping at the tears on her face with his thumbs. Jessa hiccuped a few times through her held back sobs, but she didn’t seem as if she wanted to continue her earlier thought.

“Hey, hey, Jessa it’s alright.”  Eli comforted, not sure if the girl could read his lips through her tears.  “Everything I did was because I wanted to do it. I was happy to help you, it looked like it had been a while since anyone was willing or able to help you.”  Jessa didn’t answer besides the slow nod of her head. “I’m more than happy to be the person to help you. Now come on, I think I may have something to give you to cheer you up.”  He gave her a reassuring smile, the small girl sniffling and trying to smile back. He held out his arms offering to hold her and she gladly took it. Hefting her up, he continued forward towards his ship.

Jessa rested her head against Eli’s shoulder and played with the collar of his shirt while they walked.  Her sniffles slowly died down until they were few and far between. It was odd, Eli noted. Tiviza had been so very reserved, as most Chiss are, and getting to see her true emotions was a feat on its own.  But with Jessa, the girl was so expressive and easily succumb to her emotions in a physical way. Eli didn’t mind the difference, however it took a bit more getting used to when his primary experience with children came from Chiss girls who were far more mature and less expressive.

Reaching his ship, Eli used the control to lower the ramp, carrying Jessa inside.  She tensed as they passed the threshold, most likely not expecting Eli to take her back here, and rather to take her to her new orphanage.  She didn’t say anything as he moved and sat her back on his cot. She sat perfectly straight resting her hands in her lap, waiting patiently.  Eli gave her a smile and turned to his storage locker. He knew she was watching him as he opened it and grabbed his treats from the bottom of the locker and returned.  He set the pile of goodies down and knelt on the floor beside them in front of Jessa. He went for the clothing he’d purchased at the market first, setting them beside the girl.

“First, I got you some new clothes, so you can wear things that actually fit, and not my oversized shirts.”  He chuckled motioning to the shirt still on her. He unfolded one of the shirts and held it up for her to see.  She scanned it over silently, before reaching out and taking it from him.

“It’s soft!”  She gasped, holding it to her face.  “And clean!” Eli nodded at her with a large grin.

“All of them are, shirts, pants, underwear, socks, even a few dresses should you want to wear any.”  He pulled one out from the pile to show her, a blue one with a subtle floral pattern across the front.  “I couldn’t tell what you’d like so I guessed, but if you don’t like something you don’t have to wear any of it.  These are all yours now.” Jessa traced her fingers over the pattern in the dress slowly.

“It’s been a long time since I had new clothes.”  Eli fought to make sure his smile didn’t falter even as his heart ached at her words.

“We’ll we’re not done.”  He said once she looked back up at his lips.  He put the dress down and reached the pile still on the floor, grabbing the candies.  “Do you like chocolate?” Jessa’s entire face lit up, eyes widening as a smile spread across her cheeks.  She nodded enthusiastically.

“I love chocolate, can I have some please?”  Jessa held out a hand waiting for a piece should Eli say yes.  Of course he did. He opened one of the parcels of sweets, plucking a chocolate piece and placing it in the girl’s palm.  Her grin somehow grew larger as she held the piece closer, giving it a smell before popping the entire chocolate in her mouth.  Eli fished out a piece for himself, following suit. Jessa let out a long sigh as she chewed her piece, her smile never leaving her face.  Eli tried hard not to chuckle at it, he really did but was unable to stop himself.

“I have more, and some fruits, so they’ll be treats or dessert.”  He reached down grabbing his final item, not noticing how suddenly confused Jessa had become.  He held up her final gifts, the three dolls he’d purchased from the market. All the same size, one a Human girl with similar skin tone to Jessa but darker hair, another girl with pale skin and red hair, and the third a Rodian woman with green and blue skin.  Jessa’s eyes widened again as Eli held out the toys. Hesitantly she took them in her arms.

“Again, I didn’t know what you’d like, and it’s not much but we can always get more down the road.”  Jessa’s eyes went from his lips down to the dolls then up to his eyes, her mouth open and eyes wide.

“What do you mean?”  Eli watched her for a moment, trying to work through where her confusion was coming from.  Then it dawned on him, and he gave her a comforting smile. He reached behind him, taking out his datapad and pulling up something.  He handed over the device, Jessa taking it in both her hands.

“Unless you have any complaints,” he began, covering the screen so Jessa would look up and read his lips, “I’ve adopted you.  So you won’t be forced into foster care.” He gave her a smile, watching the realization slowly crossed her features. She gazed down at the datapad, showing the certified and approved adoption document with his and her name.  He hadn’t wanted her to lose her original lineage of her parents, so he and the case worker Aishi decided on Jessa Zaitvi Vanto.

The decision had swept over him suddenly in the discussions with Aishi, once the option that he might be able to successfully adopt Jessa, he felt like anything but saying yes would have been the wrong answer.  For better or worse, giving up Jessa could have been the worst mistake of his life. The woman had been very understanding and worked almost through the entire night doing the proper background checks on Eli, his family and Thrawn.  Thankfully, everything came back green and with a few documents filed out and fees paid, things were officiated in record time, the special circumstance surely helping along the speed.

It still hadn’t fully sunk in that he was now legally a father, had a seven year old daughter, and a missing husband.  It seems he went the wrong way around to big milestones in his adult life. He jumped straight to marriage before even dating Thrawn, adopted a seven year old, skipping all the baby and toddler business, and was traveling the galaxy after already having a secure career rather than before.  He blamed the odd way he was going through life on Thrawn and how backwards the Chiss man was himself, clearly it had an impact.

Jessa was staring at him, looking completely in disbelief.  She kept having to look down at the document and back at him, as if one of the two would change on her suddenly.  It was difficult to tell what she was thinking and what she thought of it all, most likely she was still processing it all.

“Are you okay with this?”  He asked when she had looked up at him for the tenth time.  Jessa stared at him, eyes wide and unblinking before it began to waver, scrunching and twisting up.  Tears welled in her eyes yet again, threatening to fall at any second. For a moment, they were both still, Jessa on the verge of crying and Eli prepared to sooth her, then she moved.  Jessa launched herself into Eli’s arms, tears pouring from her eyes, a wail ripping out of her little throat.

“Thank-Thank you!”  She sobbed, burying her face in his shoulder, the wet tears soaking the fabric suddenly.  But Eli didn’t care, he wrapped his own arms around the girl’s frame, holding her tightly and rubbing her back soothingly.  “Thank you so much, I’ll always listen to you I promise I’ll be good, thank you.” Eli wanted to tell her that there was no condition of him adopting her.  That she didn’t have to be a perfect submissive girl who did everything he asked and answered his beckon call. That he just wanted her to have a chance to be a kid, have a childhood and be happy.  But she wasn’t looking at him, and he didn’t want to force her out of this embrace until she was early, so he just kept his mouth shut and held his daughter tightly.

* * *

 

_ The Chimaera, a ship once so pristine and prestigious lay in ruin before Eli.  Crashed and mangled on the surface of this unknown world, the nose embedded in the dirt, the crumpled bridge not much further up from the earth.  Eli’s entire body felt cold, his heart clenched painfully at the sight of a ship he once thought invincible was utterly destroyed. The metal hull was rusted and dented from the elements, plant life growing across the expanding area, as if the ground itself was trying to claim the ship and swallow it whole into the depths of the earth. _

_ On shaky legs, Eli approached, his breath caught in his throat, his hands clammy, and his heart racing a mile a minute.  The inside of the ship wasn’t much better than the outside, hallways collapsed, filled with debris or turned completely sideways.  He found an entrance through one of the many breaches in the hull, and traversed through the labyrinth of stable passageways. _

_ The Chimaera had been his home, the times he walked through these halls, trailing after Thrawn, running around on missions, or just casually enjoying leisure time and walking the halls to catch glimpses of crew members.  All of it destroyed, ruined and tarnished. A time in his life he could never get back. The Chimaera’s interior may have been the same as any other Star Destroyer, but something about this ship held a special place in his heart, and he knew he could recognize the ship just by its plain walls with no trouble.  This had been his home. His and Thrawn’s home, with a trusted and close crew. Like Karyn Faro. _

_ His mouth felt dry, thinking of all the crew members that should be bustling about in these corridors, but not passing another living soul as he walked.  No one, no sounds, no movement. The Chimaera had turned into a ghost town, and the longer the silence stretched on for, Eli’s heart beat got louder in his ears.  Why was there no one around? The ship looked long abandoned, no one should still be inside, but for some reason, Eli felt like Thrawn was here. He knew the Chiss was still here, so he kept walking through the dark halls, over dusty debris and around collapsed passages. _

_ Somehow, despite not having to climb up any levels, Eli found himself before the bridge.  At the observation deck just outside, standing at the holotable he and Thrawn had brainstormed together before or during battles many a time before.  He ran a hand over the dusty surface, observing the broken glass that looked as if it was undisturbed from the moment it shattered. _

_ A sense of dread gripped at his heart as his gaze raised to the sealed doors to the bridge.  Beyond them, lay the truth of Thrawn’s fate, and the outcome of his quest. Thrawn was either alive or dead on the other side of those doors, and Eli was terrified to find out which. _

_ Against his wishes, Eli’s legs took him past the holotable, walking him right up to the doors.  They towered over him, like they stretched on for dozens of meters above his head. He never remembered them being so large.  A hesitant shaky hand reached out, pressing against the durasteel doors, the chill of the metal burning his skin, leaving behind blue skin suffering from hypothermia. _

_ In a woosh, the doors opened, despite being without power and looking as if they hadn’t moved in years.  But they opened for him, and suddenly the bridge was in his vision. All the destruction, the decrepit decay of a place once very familiar to him.  A place so welcoming to him, with Thrawn beside him, Faro on the other, watching him direct a battle like a conductor of a symphony. Now it looked as if a literal explosion had been contained in the bridge. _

_ He took it all in at once, the ruined bridge, smelling of death and scorched metal.  But in the center, his eyes fell on something that had an icy hand gripping his heart, freezing the muscle still.  Thrawn lay on his back in the very center, the white uniform of his Grand Admiral’s uniform looking perfectly in place and pristine, except for the deep crimson staining across the chest. _

_ “Thrawn!”  Eli gasped, his voice coming out like a clap of thunder and also as if not at all from his mouth at the same time.  He ran towards the Chiss, sliding to his knees beside him, reaching out with shaking hands trying to assess the damage.  There was a pool of blood beneath the blue man streaming from the large gaping wound in his chest. _

_ Eli, reached for Thrawn’s face, the skin of his cheeks feeling ice cold, somehow colder than the door.  He turned Thrawn to face him, rubbing at his cheekbones and chanting his name like a prayer. His eyes were open, half lidded, the faintest glow shining from the open slits.  He continued calling the man’s name, not caring how desperate he sounded, nor about the tears that streamed down his own cheeks. _

_ “Thrawn no!  Thrawn come on wake up, come back to me, say something, say something...please.”  A lump caught in his throat Eli forcing it out as a guttural sob, his vision going slightly blurry though the tears.  He blinked them away, letting them fall even faster down his face as he pulled Thrawn up higher, trying to get a response out of Thrawn. _

_ He received none, the light barely glinting from his eyes slowly dimming, his irises unfocused, looking away at something over Eli’s shoulder.  He began shouting, begging desperately for Thrawn to come back to him, leaning over the Chiss, one hand holding his face, the other patting at the wound at Thrawn’s chest, as if he could stop the bleeding. _

_ It was all for nothing, Thrawn’s eyes went dark, his entire body limp in Eli’s hold, all without even seeing Eli had come to his aid.  He stared down at Thrawn’s face, into his lifeless, dark eyes, and his memory flashed Tiviza’s own face at death for him. He yelped, flinching back from Thrawn’s body, letting his head clunk on the durasteel floor with a deafening noise. _

_ Eli caught sight of Thrawn’s blood coating his palm.  Bright crimson, a color he was far too accustomed to, but knowing it belonged to Thrawn, his friend, his love, his husband, made him feel ill.  Made him feel responsible. Thrawn had just died practically in Eli’s arms, he was holding on just barely, but he had just died. If he’d been quicker, faster, more efficient, he could have gotten here in time. _

_ He was too late. _

_ Thrawn was dead, Thrawn’s blood on his hands.  Mitth’raw’nuruodo was gone, forever, and there was nothing he could do to bring him back. The second person he had pledged to save, to protect, and he was dead right before Eli’s own eyes. _

_ “Thrawn, no please please, don’t do this to me, come back, come back!”  He yelled, grabbing the man’s shoulder, giving the corpse a shake with his pleas.  But the man didn’t answer, didn’t move, didn’t react. Eli felt all the fight leave him, his arms collapsed, unable to hold his weight, and Eli’s forehead landed on Thrawn’s chest.  He could smell the sharp scent of copper before his nose, and heard the silence within Thrawn’s ribcage. His own heart screamed, aching and pulsing in pain with each beat. Eli let out a wailing cry, holding the body of his one and only love, wishing he could trade places with the man more than anything. _

_ The last thing he heard was Jessa, the girl screaming his name, voice thick with fear and pain along with the sound of a blaster going off. _

* * *

 

Eli bolted upright, releasing a scream, eyes crashing open, the sight of Thrawn’s dead face in his mind and Jessa’s scream in his ears.  His world came back to him slowly, the phantom chills of what must have been a nightmare wracking through his body. His arms covered in goosebumps, skin wet with cold sweat, and heart hammering against his ribcage so fast he thought it would bust out of his chest.

He sat there, completely still, back arched, as he slowly came back to himself.  It took maybe two minutes for his brain to sort through everything he saw and distinguish it all as a nightmare and none of it reality.  When he finally had calmed down enough to move, he collapsed back on his cot, shaking from the cold and feeling utterly exhausted. After Tiviza’s death, Eli had suffered from horrid nightmares nearly nightly, of the girl in his arms either dead or dying.  They never truly stopped, but he had no dreams more often than having nightmares, which had been fine, survivable. But this one, it was new, an amalgamation of his three worst fears, the whiplash from that to the waking world left him emotionally wrecked.

He turned on his side, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jessa safe, happy and playing just as he left her when he’d laid down for a nap.  They’d just finished breakfast and Eli had her bathed, and changed before setting her up with her new toys to play, then going off for a quick nap.  He thankfully caught sight of the girl sitting on the floor, her back to him as she played with two of her dolls. However, in her left hand wasn’t one of the dolls he’d bought her, but rather a doll he really didn’t need to see right now, one that had his heart beat picking up once again.

Tiviza.

His world stopped for a second, his breath catching in his throat.  For a moment, all his thoughts stalled, and he moved without a single thought.

“No!”  He shouted bolting out of his cot and stumbling clumsily across the floor to Jessa, snatching the doll from her hand, holding it protectively against his chest.  “Why do you have this?!” He screamed, Jessa wide eyed looking up at him. She looked suddenly very scared and cowered from him.

Eli seethed, his breath huffing in and out past his mouth, but the second he saw Jessa flinch and cower from him, his thoughts finally caught up with him, and a heavy sense of shame draped over him.  His heart beat slowed being pulled by pain and guilt. He felt his body seeped of energy, and he fell to his knees before Jessa. He hung his head for a second, his eyes seeing the Chiss doll. His eyes filled with tears, but only one fell before he looked back up at Jessa.

The girl was curled in on herself, but she was cautiously eyeing him.  When their eyes met, Jessa began to cry hot tears pouring over her eyelids.  And Eli was very tired seeing the poor girl cry.

“I-I’m so-sorry.”  She stuttered, through the tears, shoulders shaking from her bubbling sobs.  Eli shook his head, feeling like utter scum.

“No no,  _ I’m _ sorry Jessa, I just, I’m sorry.”  He apologized, wanting nothing more than to look away as he spoke, but she needed to read his lips.  “I just saw this and, I wasn’t thinking, I didn’t mean to yell at you, I’m sorry for scaring you, but I’d never hurt you,  _ never _ .”  He stared directly into Jessa’s brown eyes, wanting her to meet his eyes when she’d finished reading his lips so she could see his sincerity.

“I thought...it was mine because it was where you got the others.  I’m sorry, I didn’t know, I’m sorry…” Her tears came harder in a second wave, Jessa holding her legs tightly to her chest.

“You’re right, you didn’t know, it’s not your fault Jessa.  I’m the one who’s sorry, I’m not angry, I just wasn’t thinking.”  He sighed, lowering his head, running a shaky hand through his hair.  “I had a nightmare, I woke up all wrong, but that’s no excuse, I’m sorry Jessa, are you okay?”  She nodded slowly, sniffling through her tears.

Eli’s gaze drifted back to the Chiss doll, Tiviza’s favorite toy clutched tightly in his hand.  Despite years having passed since her death, Eli never was able to get over it, to come to terms with what happened and still felt the guilt clear as day.  And now here he was, causing Jessa, who was innocent and unknowing, pain because he can’t keep his own emotions in check over this.

In the Ascendency, they all walked on eggshells around him, careful when they spoke of Skywalkers, never mentioned Tiviza anywhere he could hear them do so.  He was the emotional Human who can’t be trusted, and he noticed the change immediately. At the time, he couldn’t care, the grief was strong and fresh, however, as time went on, he found it insulting that he was treated so delicately because he was Human.  Looking back now, were they wrong, seeing what he’s done, perhaps it was the right decision.

Tiviza wouldn’t want him to be like this.  To be tortured by her memory, and to cause grief to those around him as well.  He wasn’t Chiss, he couldn’t bury his feelings away under a cold stoic exterior, he was Human, which did mean he felt his emotions with a bit more force.  He couldn’t ignore this pain anymore.

He allowed himself to let go, free tears falling down after his first single tear.  He gave Jessa a sad smile, the girl watching him closely, seemingly surprised to see him crying.  She released her legs, and stretched out a hand towards him. He took it, gladly pulling the girl into his arms.  Tears fell silently as he held Jessa, and had Tiviza in his hands.

“Would you like to hear a story?”  He asked Jessa, shifting to sit her on one of his legs, angled toward him so she could read his lips.  She looked down at the blue doll then back up to him and nodded. “This doll has a name, she’s named after the little girl who she belonged to.  Tiviza.” He signed out Tiviza’s name as he said it so Jessa could better understand.

“What happened to her?”  She whispered, reaching out and smoothing the doll’s hair down.

“She was a little girl, same species of this doll and I was in charge of protecting her.  She was on a ship with me, and I did my best, taking care of her, making her happy, letting her be a kid, but one day-”  He choked on his words, feeling the swell of tears come back. He took a few deep breaths and tried again. “One day, we were attacked and I wasn’t able to take out the enemy before they attacked the bridge and...and she didn’t make it.”  He rushed through the end of the sentence, feeling his lip tremble and more tears slip down his cheeks. “She died, and I kept this to remember her, it was her favorite toy.”

“So I wasn’t supposed to play with it.”  Jessa said, understanding. Eli nodded, lightly caressing the doll’s face.

“Yes, this one is mine.”

“I’m sorry, I-”  He waved his hand cutting her off.

“Don’t be, you couldn’t have known.  It’s me who’s sorry, I overreacted.” He gave Jessa a small squeeze trying to reassure her.  What a lousy start to their journey together. He looked over the doll again and noticed something new that hadn’t been there before, there was a necklace with a thin black cord around her neck with a single clear crystal resting on the cord in a metal cage like holder.  He grabbed the crystal, holding it in his fingers and looking it over, he’d never seen it before, and he knew everything that was on this ship.

“Where did this come from?”  He asked, looking down at Jessa, who looked suddenly sheepish.  She shrunk back for a second.

“I’m sorry.”  She whispered, untangling herself from his hold and moving over to where her toys were still strewn about.  She grabbed a slim box from beside her dolls and returned to him, holding it out. It was the gift from Thrass that the Chiss had given for him and Thrawn.  Jessa opened it, showing an identical necklace to what was around Tivia’s neck inside the box.

“This one really wasn’t for you.”  He chuckled, raising a hand to wipe the tears from his cheeks, the flow finally having stopped.

“I’m sorry!”  Jessa repeated, holding out the box again for Eli to take again.  He did, untangling the necklace from Tiviza and inspecting it. It did look vaguely familiar, maybe something he’d seen Chiss wearing before, but the significance of the item was lost on him.  However, the crystal on its own he recognized, it was a memory crystal, a primitive use of storing information and messages, no longer used in official channels, but a more sentimental item of leisure.  Messages and holos could be stored on the crystal to be viewed with the proper projector. Eli smiled to himself, knowing exactly what he was meant to do with the necklace. He stored both necklaces back in their box and set it off to the side.

“From now on, how about you ask before looking through things, okay?”  Jessa nodded, seemingly relieved he wasn’t angry about that one as well.  Honestly, her was just happy she hadn’t found his weapons cabinet and decided to play around with blasters.  The first thing he was going to do was put a lock on that.

“Eli,” Jessa questioned to get his attention, “could you tell me more about her?”  She signed out ‘Tiviza’ with her hand and pointed to the doll. Eli gave her a small smile and nodded.

“Of course.”  He motioned for her to sit back down, and once comfortable, he jumped into his memories of the girl whose time was cut far too short.  And for the first time, it didn’t hurt to talk about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. That one hurted me. I hope y'all didn't forget about Thrass' gift to Eli, I know it's been a while since it's been brought up, I wonder what Eli plans to do with it ;)  
> Sorry if this chapter was a bit too intense, its definitely one of those really emotional intense one, lots of tears. I don't know if the warning was good enough so please let me know if you feel I should add to it, I don't want to cause anyone extreme distress. I hope you all enjoyed regardless.  
> We're in the final stretch, just five more chapters to go, we're almost done! <3
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	26. Memories - Ezra - Hope

It was him, the whole time, Thrawn had been hiding his Force sensitivity from him.  He didn’t need him at all, all that nonsense about needing a Force user on their side, how important Ezra was to them was just a lie.  Some cruel trick to keep Ezra feeling like he had to help them, or else he’d be the one to leave them to their demise. He should have known that Thrawn had other goals, that he didn’t want to protect Ezra because he felt it his duty, no he only wanted Ezra for whatever twisted reason he had.

With the threat of whatever creature had attacked them now gone, Ezra felt himself flush with a sudden wave of rage.  He had begun to trust Thrawn, to second guess his actions and his person, only for all his ill thoughts of the man to be proven yet again true.  He was the cruel manipulative man Ezra thought him to be, but what hurt was that he had fallen for the ruse. The ruse of Thrawn actually being a caring person.  He only wished he could see the alien in this moment.

“You’re Force sensitive!”  He had said, and yet still Thrawn had yet to answer him.  If he didn’t know better, he'd think that Thrawn had just walked away.  Ezra stood up on his feet, facing where he believed Thrawn should still be standing.

“You lied to me!”  He shouted, pointing an accusing finger at him despite not being able to see it himself.

“I...I did not lie-”  Thrawn finally began to answer him, but it wasn’t good enough, he could feel the lie coming.

“You never needed me, you were hiding being a Force user this whole time!  Why?! I can’t believe I actually thought you could possibly be trusted I-”

“Ezra.”  Thrawn interrupted his rant and the shock of hearing the Chiss use his first name all on its own would have been enough to shut him up, but it was the unfiltered, unrestrained desperation, and maybe even fear, that truly got him to quiet down.  “I do not know.”

That _was_ fear, Ezra was almost certain, not only that, but he could feel the truth of his words through the Force itself.  Thrawn was completely confused and terrified of the implications of what he just did. In an instant all the rage that had bubbled up in him vanished, a sense of shame replacing it.

Thrawn was fearful, something Ezra never thought possible, and certainly the man wouldn’t admit to it, but he was.  Thrawn had said the mysteries of the Force were an enigma to him, maybe he really was telling the truth. They needed to get out of here, then they could sort through all this confusion, but they couldn’t do that while obscured in the dark.

“Alright, we need to move.”  He said, reaching out to where Thrawn should be.  His hand came in contact with the alien’s elbow, he followed it up to his wrist grabbing it tightly and beginning to pull him along.  He half expected Thrawn to pull away or hinder their progression, but surprisingly, he allowed himself to be directed around.

He was rushing and a bit distracted, but he forced himself back into that meditative state he’d been using to move through the forest.  Much faster than before, he found himself in the subconscious world with the glowing trees lining the way. For some reason, the lights were dimmer than they had been before, he could still see and move around them, but they weren’t as intense as they had been before.

Regardless, he could move through and much faster than before.  Then had been experimenting and uncertain, now, however, he knew what he was doing, which meant he could push it.  He had wanted to run, but he could feel Thrawn pulling behind him, holding him back, so he resolved for a brisk walk. He moved almost double the speed of his previous wandering, but without the sense of time or presence in the physical world, he had no idea how much time had passed or how far they’d gone.

He did feel however, when Thrawn slipped his wrist from Ezra’s hand.  He felt the missing appendage immediately, and he slowed down, expecting to of lost Thrawn to something, but he felt the hand return on his shoulder, and the second it made contact, the glowing trees came to life bursting with light in stunning brilliance.  For a moment it was too bright, but it died down to something much more manageable, and as it did, he saw the literal ground at his feet illuminate, like a path in the void to follow.

Turning his head, he gazed behind him, and surprisingly, someone was there.  The orb, which he now knew to be Thrawn, was there, in it’s humanoid form, holding his shoulder just as Thrawn did in the physical world.  He stared at it a moment, and watched with perfect clarity as it began to form details. First red eyes, as the red glow of its skin dimmed further and further, shifting to blue, and quickly, it took shape as Thrawn himself.

His face still appeared uncertain, looking around their surroundings both as if it were foreign and also an old home.  His hand tightened on Ezra’s shoulder and he finally looked down to meet his gaze. He could see him, and Ezra could see him in return.  He opened his mouth to speak, but could think of nothing to say, and Thrawn looked away, foreword to the lit up path. He got the message, this was meant to be done in silence.  His face hardened into resolve and he turned back around, taking his first step along the new path before them.

Time again was lost to them as they walked, the trees they passed blended together until Ezra could have felt they were walking in circles, if not for the curving winding path that they followed.  Thrawn had moved up farther, walking almost perfectly beside Ezra, his hand never leaving his shoulder. As if he was the thing connecting him to this state and without it he’d be blind again.

That was fine, this world was calming, almost enjoyable, and it was the most he’d felt connected to Thrawn since ever knowing the man.  The most vulnerable he’d been as well, while he had been at Ezra’s mercy physically before, he’d never been at his mercy so spiritually.  And to Ezra and the Force, it was the most intense way to connect with an individual. And for the first time, he found he didn’t hate Thrawn’s presence.  It was enjoyable to have him walk alongside him.

He lost himself in the light for some time, the repetitive nature of their trek lulling him into a more relaxed state, so much so that the first shake up to the monotony was jarring.  The path he had so religiously been following came to a very abrupt end. He had not even noticed the end was nearing before it was upon them, his toes stopping at the literal end of the line, only void rested beyond it.  The trees remained there, and lit, but he could see them thinning out, past where their guiding light ended.

Thrawn pulled his attention, and as Ezra looked at him, the Chiss gave him a nod and vanished.  The hold on his shoulder going away along with him leaving him alone in this state of mind. What was happening, was something blocking their path, was there another animal, or were they at the end of the forest?

He felt a return of pressure to his arm, then the other, a small jerking shake.  Then, from the void, echoing all around with no set origin came Thrawn’s voice, gentle and all encompassing in the void.

“ _ Come back. _ ”  He said, and slowly the world began to melt away from him, the tree’s light dying out until he was back in complete darkness.  And from there, he opened his eyes, back to himself.

It was still dark, and he felt Thrawn behind him, his hands on both of Ezra’s upper arms.  He was about to turn and question what was wrong when he saw it, far off in the distance, he could see light, unmistakably sunlight at what must be the edge of the dark forest.  They had made it through.

Without a second thought, he took off, charging full force towards the light, the saving grace to end this mini nightmare.  He didn’t hear Thrawn call after him, and only assumed the Chiss would be fine on his own until he could follow. He pushed his legs as hard as he could, the light growing larger and larger and larger, until he could actually see the forest, the floor, the trees, the plants.  He could see again.

He burst forth from the trees and brush feeling the first tickle of grass since waking in the woods, the long blades welcoming like a hug from a long lost friend.  He gladly flung himself down onto the ground, rolling over to feel the sun rays on his face. The grass was warm, much warmer than the dry ground of the forest had been, and the breeze actually could touch his face, a feeling he somehow missed greatly.  He felt a smile tug at his lips, stretching across his face and the bubble of a laugh roar up his throat. They were free, he could see, and they were back on track.

He laid there, watching the sun which had begun to dip towards the horizon since he’d last seen it, perfectly content to stay there.  But he heard Thrawn approaching, and knew that the time for rejoicing was at an end, that they had to keep walking and the time for answers was before them.  The blue man’s face came into view over head, and Ezra sat up.

“I believe there are some things we need to discuss.”  Thrawn said, looking and sounding more himself again.

“You believe right.”  Ezra scoffed, climbing back to his feet, not without brushing his hand through the blades of grass.  “What was all of that?!” Thrawn nodded slowly, straightening his back and holding his hands behind him.  He’d had time to compose himself again that was sure, but he could still hear the desperate pleading in Thrawn’s voice from before, echoing in his head.

The Chiss seemed to hesitate maybe, looking off forward, his eyes following the river.  He took a deep breath, and turned back to Ezra, and he could see the dead seriousness in his face.  Whatever he was about to say was deathly important, either to him or his people, Ezra wasn’t quite certain.

“I had mentioned before of Force sensitives among my people, and that this trait is rare.  In truth, it is extraordinarily rare in my people, present predominantly in females, between the ages of five and sixteen and culminating in an ability we refer to as Third Sight, precognition.”  He spoke slowly, as if having to fight a part of himself to reveal this information, so Ezra didn’t move to interrupt him. “In the Unknown Regions, we have few plotted safe hyperspace routes, so the Chiss use these children as navigators on our ships, so they may guide the ship through the unknown.  That is what I had you do, something very similar to Chiss Third Sight.” Thrawn paused, clearly allowing Ezra his chance to question him.

“Why do you use kids?”  He asked, furrowing his brows.  He could understand kid joining up against a fight for the greater good, but to use children to travel through dangerous and unknown space, that seemed cruel and reckless.

“Third Sight is not a permanent ability in the Chiss.  It is at its strongest between the ages of seven and fourteen, beyond there it begins to fade until it is gone forever.  Or, at least that is what we believed.” He looked away, bringing a hand to cup his chin, looking contemplative and worried.  Ezra shuffled around in his spot, feeling a bit anxious.

“And, you had it?  But you said that only girls have it…”  Thrawn shook his head.

“No, I said that it was predominant in females.  Although more rare, it is possible for the ability to appear in the males as well.”  He didn’t elaborate any farther, and he realized, Thrawn was trying to dodge the question.

“And the other part, were you one of those kids?”  He could see Thrawn stiffen, his shoulders and back tense up before they relaxed again.  He nodded slowly, gaze falling to the ground.

“I was.  I possessed Third Sight as a child, though the ability had completely faded by the time I had turned sixteen.  It...It shouldn’t have come back, I don’t know why it did.” He looked down at his hand, as if it weren’t his own, a foreign appendage.

“Is it back for good?”  Thrawn hesitated, then shook his head a negative.

“I do not know for certain.  This is all...new to me and to my people.  The ability has never resurfaced in our history.”

“Maybe it doesn’t fade away.”  Thrawn turned his attention back on him, and he suddenly wasn’t sure of what he was about to say, but pressed on either way.  “What if it’s just, like dormant? And you have to unlock it or something? Like, just now, you were able to use it to see that animal coming.”

“I do not believe it works like that Bridger.”

“But what if it does!”  He interrupted the Chiss a stir of confidence bolstering his words.  “Since we left Lothal, I’ve felt this presence in the Force and I couldn’t tell what it was.  But it’s been you the whole time! You have a presence in the Force, stronger than normal people, I don’t think it leaves you!”  Thrawn stared at him, and Ezra didn’t back down. “I bet you could learn to use it again.”

Slowly, as if he were trying to fight it, Thrawn smiled.  A small pull at his lips, the tense skin around his eyes softening slightly.  He didn’t know what to do in response, so he just gave him a confident smile that just maybe he was really beginning to feel.

“You are one strange individual Ezra Bridger.”

“Sure, but I know more about the Force than you do, so looks like I’m the smart one here now.”  Thrawn straightened out his back, holding his hands behind his back, no longer seeming to have some sort of crisis about his person, or maybe just had it better under control.

“For the moment, yes you have the most knowledge on the subject.”  Ezra jokingly scoffed at his words and rolled his eyes.

“For the moment?  There’s no way you’ll ever know more about the Force than I do!”

“I knew of Third Sight.”

“That doesn’t mean you know more than I do, it just means you knew one very specific fact!”  Thrawn began walking past him, heading off away from the dark forest, following the river. Ezra hurriedly went after him.

“Perhaps there are many things you don’t know of the Force.”

“There are, but I know more than you’ll ever know!  I might even know more than Kanan did at this point!”

Together, walking side by side, they continued on their trek, speaking freely and lightly.  Ezra honestly found Thrawn much more easy to talk to and maybe even enjoyable to talk with. All the while, Ezra’s thoughts were consumed by the bomb Thrawn had just dropped.  That not only were there Chiss Force Users, but that Thrawn himself had been one. He never would have thought that Thrawn had any Force inclination.

It was clear to him that all of Thrawn’s plans and predictions didn’t come from this latent Force ability, he had no way to even subconsciously tap into it until now it seems.  But now that he had, what sort of unstoppable Force would he become? For some reason, Ezra didn’t find the idea threatening, or scary, but rather an asset. A Force using tactical genius could help out the Rebellion, and after all that’s happened, Thrawn didn’t think that the Emperor would let him live.  Meaning for once, he and Thrawn could actually be allies.

When the sun dipped below the horizon and they couldn’t move any further in the dark they finally stopped for a much needed rest.  Thrawn started the fire while Ezra searched around in their bags for what was left of their food rations. There was just enough to cover their evening meal this night, and morning meal for tomorrow, then they’d be out of their rations.  Thrawn said they should reach the lake sometime tomorrow, and had faith in his crew that they’d be there, but Ezra still worried.

If no one was there, they’d be out of food and over a three days walk away from their camp.  Technically, they could go that long without food, but it would be extremely rough on them, especially with their endless walking.  Ezra’s gone through food scarcities, especially just after losing his parents, and having to go through that again was not high on the list of things he’d like to do.  He really hoped Thrawn was right, because at the moment, their only hope for food would be to snag fish from the river, which were very scarcely seen.

When he joined Thrawn around the fire, he found the Chiss holding his holodisk.  He noticed Ezra sit down and place his ration bar beside him but didn’t acknowledge it.  Instead, he switched on the disc, and they were again greeted with Eli’s face. It must have soaked up enough sunlight to power back on.

“He’s not dead, right?”  Ezra asked, pointing to the holo as he dug into his ration.  It was a little blunt and could have come of as inconsiderate if Eli were dead, but Ezra was pretty certain he wasn’t.

“No, he is not.”  Thrawn replied, only glancing up for a moment.

“Do you think he’d come looking for you?  You said the Empire wouldn’t but what about him?”  Thrawn smiled sadly at the holo and powered it off.

“I hope he does not.”  Ezra gaped at him, screwing his brows up in confusion.

“What do you mean by that?  Why wouldn’t you want him to go looking for you?”  Thrawn put the holo back on his belt and stared forward into the fire.

“I would not wish to cause him strife.  No doubt, he will hear of what happened over Lothal far after it is too late.  I only wish to save him the time and effort of locating my body.”

“Do you think he’d be able to find this planet?”

“I am certain he would.  As I am certain he’d want to leave the Chiss in search for me, which is why they will not tell him I am missing until they have to.”  Ezra frowned at Thrawn, still hating how bleak and pessimistic Thrawn was talking. The utter conviction that he would meet his end on this planet long before rescue came for him.

“So you expect me to tell him you’re dead when he shows up?  I don’t think so! You’re making it until there’s rescue if I have to force you to live till then myself!”  Thrawn finally looked up at Ezra, a sad defeat flashed in his eyes before he could mask it again.

“Is this optimism from you or your Jedi teachings?”

“It’s not optimism, it’s the truth!  Besides, your crew needs you, you can’t go dying before they’re all rescued!”

“They have Faro, the woman is just as capable as I am, I have much faith in her abilities.”

“So you’re just gonna dump all that responsibility on her?  That’s pretty selfish.” Thrawn smiled at him, some of the defeat either going away or being masked.

“Stubborn as always Bridger.  I have no plans on my death, only the belief that my demise here is inevitable.”

“Yeah, well, we’ll see about that.”

Their conversations lightened up from there and began to pitter out as the night stretched on.  It was Ezra who yawned first, promoting Thrawn to brush him off to bed, claiming the first night watch.  He had ‘some thinking to do.’ and Ezra figured that was an understatement and decided to give the man some semblance of privacy to his own thoughts.

As morning rose, Ezra was unfortunately woken by Thrawn, well past when he should have swapped for watch.  The Chiss handed him their final ration bar, claiming to have already eaten and packed up their camp before waking Ezra.  He was mildly annoyed, but he let it slide. Last night should hopefully have been the last night with just the two of them, and once with others Ezra could claim first watch before the, clearly tired, Chiss.

Figuring arguing the matter now would get him nowhere, he just took his ration and ate quickly, packing as he did.  As the sun began rising higher in the sky, he found himself put more at ease. Just being able to see the sun and feel its rays on his skin was calming, after their nightmarish trek through the pitch black forest.  He’d never take another sunrise for granted again.

They were back on their way in no time.  They had to be somewhat close, being out in the open field like where they’d originally found the lake with the exhibition group.  Regardless if the others were waiting there for them, he’d feel better just being on some slightly more familiar ground. He actually longed to return to their camp full of ex-Imperials, where it was secure and familiar.  With no foreboding forests void of sunlight.

Thankfully, nothing stood in their way as they made their way alongside the river through the open grassy plane.  The morning and midday passing by uneventfully. Which was a relief compared to the slog yesterday had been. But as the day dragged on, and Ezra felt the ache in his feet return, he felt his high hopes begin to dwindle.  He kept expecting to see the end of the river come into sight at the edge of their sight, to see it open up into the lake they’d begun at, or to see people there, waiting around for them.

But there was nothing.  Each hour passed by with nothing to break up the same old sights.  And Ezra felt his disappointment grow and grow, weighing down on his shoulders.  He was just ready for this whole nightmare to be over with. To see some familiar faces besides Thrawn's, return to familiar surroundings, and know that they had food to last.

If Thrawn noticed his growing irritation, he never pointed it out.  Knowing the Chiss, however, Ezra was certain he had noticed. The sun was far past midday now, threatening to begin lowering towards the horizon, and his patience was running thin.  He would glance over at the river time and time again, making sure that they hadn’t gotten turned around somehow, or to see if he was going mad staring at the grasping grass that sprouted from the ground.

He was on the verge of screaming and making a run for it, to speed everything along, when Thrawn raised his arm.  He pointed forward, ahead of them as the walked, placing his other hand on Ezra’s shoulder.

“There.”  He said. “The lake is coming into view.”  Ezra looked up at him, then back forward to where he was pointing.  It was difficult to make out, but it certainly did look like the river had begun to widen.

“Do you see anyone?!”  He asked, fighting the urge to sprint there.

“I cannot see from here, I am uncertain.”  He looked up as Thrawn’s eyes narrowed trying to see better.  He huffed, clenching and un-clenching his hands in anticipation.  They were so close, this all was almost over.

“I was starting to think we’d never make it back…”  Ezra sighed, slumping his shoulders in relief. Only then did Thrawn release his shoulder.

“It was only a matter of time and distance to return us to this area, we would have made it eventually.”  Thrawn answered, and Ezra rolled his eyes at him.

“I knew we’d make it back, kinda.  It was just a feeling that we wouldn’t.”  They walked quietly for another minute, the lake beginning to take better shape in the distance.  “What do we do if they’re not there?”

“We shall set up camp for the night, give them until morning, then begin walking towards camp, I recall the way.”  Last time Ezra had asked what they’d do should no one be there to meet them, Thrawn was so certain someone would be.  Now, he didn’t even reinforce the thought. As if he too were beginning to have doubts.

When the entire lake came into view, all his hopes were crushed.  There wasn’t a soul around the entire viewable area. No one, not even any signs of someone having recently been there.  They were alone, and their one hope was gone. His entire body began to tense, ready to unleash his rant on Thrawn, when the man’s hand fell onto his shoulder again.

“Calm.  We must give them until morning.  In the meantime, we should set up camp across the river.”  He held onto Ezra’s shoulder until he felt him relax, then released him and walked over to the river bank.  Ezra let out an angry huff and moved to stand next to him.

“Fine, but we don’t have enough food to eat tonight and tomorrow, we finished it all this morning.”  He argued, looking across the wide river. It had appeared large before when he’d been in the river bed, but looking at the flowing water they’d need to cross, it seemed all the more bigger.

“On the contrary.”  Thrawn shucked off his pack, rummaging around inside and pulling out two ration bars.  He held them out to Ezra, who took them, astounded that they were real.

“Where did you get these?!  I went through our supplies yesterday, we only had enough to last till this morning!”  He was certain of it too, looking at what they had and divided it up, there was no way there were, presumably, four ration bars, if these two were Ezra’s.

“We have not run out of our rations, those two are for you.  Now, if you would, levitate our packs across the river so the contents do not become wet once again.”  He pulled his holo and blaster from his belt and placing them inside the pack, sealing is and standing back.  Ezra watched him, then looked back down at their rations, still confused as to where they came from. But Thrawn did not look willing to cooperate in and questioning Ezra may throw at him.  So, he removed his own pack, stowing the rations inside and set it beside Thrawn’s.

It was easy enough to lift the two packs across the river.  They were light and in no time they were safe and dry. Then, without warning, Thrawn suddenly dove straight into the cold river water with nothing but a blurry flash of blue to Ezra’s right before he was gone.  He resurfaced and swam across without issue. Sighing down at the moving river, Ezra followed suit.

Shivering as he pulled himself out of the water, he swiftly pulled off his soaked shirt.  He tossed it away, disgusted with it, and immediately went in search of things to start a fire with.  For the first time since leaving their campsite, they had a fire started before it was even dusk. Ezra sat before it, nursing one of the rations Thrawn had given him, still shirtless, it along with his boots were spread out to dry by the fire.  Thrawn, who seemed far less bothered by the cold, stayed completely clothed but kept close to the fire.

They didn’t talk much, there really wasn’t much more to discuss at the moment that wouldn’t just be going over what they already had.  So Ezra allowed themselves to bask in the quiet. When the sun had fully set, Ezra, as he had planned, claimed first watch, and thankfully, Thrawn hadn’t fought him on it and politely retired for the night.

For a few hours, Ezra sat in silence, stewing with his thoughts.  Facing the truth that come morning, they may be all on their own. No rescue would be coming from Thrawn’s people, and they were down to only one more ration bar each.  At least he thought so, except he hadn’t seen Thrawn eat his before going to sleep, so he had at least two. Unless.

A thought struck him.  He had gone through their remaining rations before, and they only had four left, he had checked both packs.  There was no way Thrawn had another four on top of those, he would have nowhere to hide them. Except, Ezra never saw Thrawn eat.  Their evening meal from last night, he’d given Thrawn his share, but he never saw the man eat it. And then this morning, Thrawn said he’d already ate before Ezra awoke.

If he truly hadn’t eaten, that was only two extra rations.  So unless Thrawn had been storing things away and hiding them, he shouldn’t have any rations at all.  There was only one way to see for sure. Ezra grabbed his second ration and crawled slowly over to where Thrawn was asleep.  The alien thankfully didn’t stir as he moved closer, and Ezra grabbed the man’s pack. As quietly as he could, he opened the pack and rummaged through the contents.  Everything that should be there was there, his water canteen, lantern, med kit, poncho, all of that, and the holo. However, the pack was completely barren of any food rations, not even a crumb lay inside.

Ezra scowled, fighting the urge to wake and scold the Chiss.  He’d gone last night, this morning and this night without food, which was idiotic.  However, he’d done so in order to give Ezra those extra rations. It was an action to benefit him, so he couldn’t be too upset about it.  But why he chose to starve himself so Ezra wouldn’t have to was beyond him.

He looked over the form of the sleeping chest, some of his frustration leaving, and his chest filling with something unidentifiable.  Certainly something he never thought he’d feel for Thrawn. Biting his lip to keep quiet, Ezra took the single ration bar they had left, and placed it inside the pack.  Closing it and returning it where he found it, Ezra retreated to his own spot at the fire and waited out the night in silence, unable to forget the man sleeping just meters away.

At the crack of dawn, Thrawn awoke without any prodding.  He seemed mildly confused staring up at the sunlight, then over to Ezra, but didn’t comment on the fact that Ezra had stayed up all night.  With just a nod of acknowledgment, Thrawn stood up, retrieving his pack and digging around inside. He must have been looking for his holodisk, but Ezra could see the moment that Thrawn found the ration bar instead.  He looked away, not wanting to meet Thrawn’s intense gaze.

For a moment there was silence, Thrawn didn’t say anything, and Ezra didn’t acknowledge that there was anything wrong.  Slowly, he heard the man shift, move his pack around and then silence again. Then, he heard the familiar sound of chewing, and he allowed himself to relax.  Thrawn was eating, and they didn’t have to acknowledge what they both knew. Besides, they were both going to need their strength if they had another three and a half days of walking with no more food.

Surprisingly, after packing up to continue their trek, all of Ezra’s fears and worries ended up being for nothing.  Off in the distance, they heard sounds being carried by the wind from the direction they were preparing to head in. It was voices, human voices.  Both of them perked up at the sounds, turning to face the incoming noise, when over the edge of sight they saw approaching figures. Ezra shot a look at Thrawn, and found the alien smiling.

Within a few minutes the forms came better into view, and it was in fact members of Thrawn’s crew jogging up to them, shouting and waving their arms.  They’d actually come for them, like Thrawn had been so certain they would. He was shocked, confused, but above all else, grateful that they actually had come back for them.  He relaxed, and waited for them to run up.

They went to Thrawn first, huffing and puffing their reliefs he was okay.  Then, when they turned to Ezra, they expressed the same sentiments. One of them slipped off the pack on his back, and dug out a handful of ration bars.

“Are you hungry?”  He asked handing them out to each of them.  Ezra gladly took one.

“Um, thanks.”  He answered, nodding to him and taking a large bite.

“Karyn said that you two would make your way back here.  After you were swept up, the group said they rushed back and notified the rest of us.  We were sent out immediately after brining enough supplies to take care of you two should we find you.”  Another spoke up.

“Well done.  Commendable action by all.  We are healthy, and only just ran out of food as of this morning.”  Thrawn looked at each and every member of the rescue group as he spoke, like a silent thank you to each of them each.  There were eight in total, and only two of them did Ezra recognize from the original group that went with them.

“No use standing around, we can talk and walk.  I’m ready to get back to camp, so let’s go!” Ezra jumped back in after finishing his ration bar.  He patted the man who’d given it to him and started walking back where they’d come from. He heard Thrawn speak with some of them quickly before he heard everyone behind him begin to follow.  They were almost out of here, he was wasting no time.

Three and a half days later, they finally made it back to the campsite, to the crashed Star Destroyer, and to a welcoming party beyond measure.  Everyone was there to greet them, like celebrities from a far off land. Kayrn was leading the group, and was the first to approach them. Giving Thrawn a wide satisfied smile, she shook his hand and welcomed him back.  She turned to him, and he wasn’t expecting much, but she too took his hand and welcomed him.

For the first time since crashing here, Ezra actually felt, appreciated and wanted among these people.  He could understand why they’d feel malcontent for him, but acceptance, that was something he never expected.

After all the welcomes were out of the way, Karyn forced them off to check up by the medic.  It was a few more hours before he was free to go on his own again. The first place he went was to the tent he’d called his own, which was just some propped up wreckage from the Chimaera with a tarp draped over top.  But his was his space, his bed roll. It was like coming back home after a long time when he crawled back inside.

The first thing that caught his eye, was the stone slab from the retention wall with Sabine’s painted lothcat on the front.  He smiled at the rock which he kept displayed by his pillow and moved up to it. He ran a hand over the smooth stone, feeling the cold and the change of texture over the paint.  He’d survived another hurdle, and he’d survive many, many more, because he was counting on Sabine, and he knew she wouldn’t let him down.

“Bridger.”  He jumped, Thrawn’s voice coming from outside his tent.  He moved to the opening and poked his head out, and sure enough, there was Thrawn standing outside.

“Yeah?”  He asked, pressing out further to look up better.

“Would you care to join me, Faro, and a few officers for an evening meal?”  He held out his hand, as if to help Ezra up should he say yes. He paused a moment, thinking over the request, and found the answer easier to come to than usual.

“Sure.”  And with that he took Thrawn’s hand, who helped him up, and together, they walked back to the center of camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh boy, the boys are coming to understandings! Word to the wise children, never procrastinate writing until the day it's meant to be posted, you will destroy yourselves! Haha, woo, this was an all day job but it's done I hope you all enjoyed!
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	27. Chapter Fifteen - Eli - Destination Zero Part One

Three days, three days Eli and Jessa had been drifting through the Unknown Regions searching for any sign of Thrawn.  For some reason, he’d believed that once they crossed the border of charted space that they’d find Thrawn right outside, waiting patiently for him.  Of course that’s not how it would go. There was nothing, they’d not even come across any people, Human or otherwise since leaving charted space.

Without any charted hyperspace routes to use, he’d have to rely on the ships propulsion and carefully calculated micro-jumps.  What he wouldn’t give for a sky-walker in this moment. He really did take for granted how useful those girls could be. But without the help of Third Sight, they had to fly the old fashion way, which happened to be the slowest.

Jessa didn’t seem to mind being cooped up on ship.  When he had told her they were searching for his friend, she looked extremely excited.  She asked all manner of questions about him, and after he’d given her his datapad to play with, she’d drawn a digital picture of what she thought Thrawn looked like with her fingers.  It was shaky, lacking details, disproportionate, but Eli loved it with all his heart. He’d saved the image, resolved to show Thrawn when they found him.

Other than that, Jessa enjoyed staring out the viewport at the expanse of stars, and excitedly watching them jump into and out of hyperspace.  However, she was still a young child, and children aren’t known for having long attention spans. She’d jump around between staring out the viewport, playing with her toys, and asking to use Eli’s datapad.  She’d get tired of one and go to the next and the cycle repeated.

Eli, in the plethora of free time he had spent much of it studying sign language.  He’d been able to find very useful guides as well as holonet lessons he could take which were bolstering his vocabulary.  Thankfully, having Jessa right there with him meant he always had a way to practice and hone his teachings. He was far from perfect, but well on his way to fluent.

Jessa loved asking him to tell stories, which was a great way to practice and have her teach him signs he didn’t yet know.  At first, he’d tried making up stories, but coming up with an entirely new story every time Jessa’s will demanded another one was becoming too difficult.  It was Jessa who’d actually requested more stories about Tiviza.

She seemed enraptured about the girl for reasons Eli couldn’t fathom.  Was it because she was Chiss, and she was enamored with the idea of blue skinned red eyed girls?  Or maybe she hadn’t been around other children her age before? Or was it she wanted to know of Eli’s past and the people he’d interacted with?  She’d only asked for stories about Thrawn a few times, but she always came back to Tiviza.

Since embarking from Garel, she’d requested to see Tiviza’s doll once.  He’d gotten it out for her, let her hold it and touch her hair. But he wouldn’t allow her to play, or undo the hair to change the style.  He wasn’t sure he could stomach that, he wasn’t ready. Since then she’d been quiet about it.

Eli himself was starting to get a little stir crazy.  Being stuck on this ship, each hour passing without even a hint of Thrawn’s whereabouts was getting to him, eating away at his patience.  In the Ascendancy, and in the Empire, he’d never been like this, he felt at ease being on a ship for extended periods of time. Sometimes even favored it over being planetside.  But with the looming threat of never finding Thrawn hanging overhead, he couldn’t help but let his anxieties get to him.

In the past three days they’d only come close to four planets.  One of which was barren and uninhabitable. Another had a breathable atmosphere, but no life signs were appearing on the bio scanners.  The third was small, overgrown with planet life and smaller animals, he’d flown in close to scour the surface, but came up empty for even recognizable debris that could have come from the  _ Chimaera _ .  The fourth was entirely covered with water, no islands even peeking out among the oceans.

Three days of searching, and they’d come up with absolutely nothing to show for it.  It had been almost a month since leaving Chiss space, but up until now, he’d felt as if he’d been making steady progress in finding Thrawn.  Or was otherwise distracted by other pressing matters that he didn’t notice how long this was taking. Now, however, he was practically shooting shots in the dark hoping to stumble across anything,  _ anything _ , that could lead him to Thrawn.  And things were beginning to look bleak.

While Jessa sat beside him in the cockpit, staring at the swirls of hyperspace with awe and wonder, he felt nothing but contempt for the repetitive swirls.  Just another micro-jump piled onto the dozens upon dozens that came before it. And, just as he feared when they came back out, there was nothing. He fought off another sigh and set to scanning the area searching for any gravity wells or celestial bodies.  Each scan, to get the full range he wanted, took about twenty minutes, twenty minutes of sitting and accomplishing nothing.

With nothing else to occupy his time, he pulled out his datapad, hoping to work a bit more on his studies of sign language.  Jessa had leaned back in the chair too big for her, two of her dolls rested in her lap. The girl was far more patient then he recalled most Human children to be, granted she came from an unusual background compared to other children.  No doubt that had a clear effect on her personality and actions.

“Are you learning more?”  Jessa suddenly asked, and Eli turned to look at her.  She’d turned to the side, standing one doll on the chair’s armrest, and looking right up at him.

“Yes.”  He nodded, signing along with his words.  “Did you want to help?” Jessa shook her head slowly.

“When will we find your friend?”  She signed along just as he had, a favor she did for him to get more acquainted with reading signs.  Eli grimaced, looking away for a second.

“I don’t know.”

“Is he okay, is he hurt?”  He looked down at her, she’d sat down one of her dolls.

“I don't know.  He might be.” She raised her lower lip, like she was thinking.

“Then we’ll make him better, right?  I’ll lend him one of my toys, would that make him feel better?”  Jessa really was a special girl, she gave him a big smile and he had to smile back.  She knew just how to cheer him up without even realizing it.

“I think just maybe, he might like that.”  Her face lit up and she looked down at the dolls.

“He can borrow this one until he’s better then!”  She held up the Human girl with red hair for Eli to see.

“That’s very kind of you Jessa.  With just your kindness you’d be able to heal him right up, you-”  He was cut off by his nav-computer pinging at him. He turned to check the flashing notification sent from his scan.

“What is it?”  Jessa asked, leaning over her chair trying to look.

He pulled up the full notification, a gravity well had been detected, and following to its epicenter, the computer had mapped out a planet.  They were too far to read specifics, but it was along the trajectory that he’d been following of where the  _ Chimaera _ should have headed.  Pushing his poor nav-computer to the limit, he had it plot a micro-jump to just outside the gravity well of the planet.  From there he could get a better scan of the planet. He saw Jessa shift again in her chair, and paused his rapid hand movements to let her know what was going on.

“The computer found another planet.”  He said, used to signing this phrase now.

“You’re friend might be there?”  She tilted her head cutely to the side as she spoke and Eli smiled at her.

“Maybe.”  He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he couldn’t help hoping as he did every planet they’d come across so far.  He moved back to setting up the jump, and once all systems were green, he initiated the jump. Jessa gasped the moment they jumped, watching with wide eyes at hyperspace.  He’ll never get how every single time she was enraptured.

“Can I have a candy?”  Jessa asked after the excitement at the sudden jump to swirling blue had worn off.  Eli nodded at her.

“Just one.”  She smiled, thanked him and hopped off her chair.

The jump should be just under five minutes, he spent the entire time staring out the viewport, anxiously kneading the armrests of his chair.  He knew he was setting himself up for another disappointment, that they’d come across another dud planet and have to move on, yet another failure weighing on his shoulders.  But he just couldn’t stop the younger, more optimistic part deep inside of him getting excited at the thought that maybe this was the one.

He held his breath as the ship dropped out of hyperspace, and let it all out seeing the planet that came into view below him.  Just by looking at it, he knew it was a survivable environment, the entire world covered in enough plants to be almost entirely green.  To prove his thinking, the bio-scan came back, the atmosphere was breathable, and as far as life signs, there were many across the entire planet.  That didn’t mean that Thrawn was there, only that it was slightly more likely than the worlds that came before it.

A noise drew him out of his thoughts, a steady beep accompanied by a flashing red indicator light on his main console.  It was a transmission. There was a signal coming from the planet itself, on all available frequencies, an open channel to whoever wanted to tune into and listen.  There were sentients down there. He stared at the flashing red light for a few more seconds before his hesitation broke and he scrambled to open the channel.

_ “Mayday, ship down and crew stranded, we require assistance.  Mayday, ship down and crew stranded, we require assistance. Mayday, ship-” _   The message just repeated that sentence over and over and over, but from the very first word, he knew that voice.  Knew it well enough that his breath caught in his throat. That was Karyn Faro’s voice.

In an instant he was standing, his hands gripping the edge of the console so tight he thought his fingers might snap.  If that was a distress signal sent by Karyn, then that only means that the ship in which she was referring was the  _ Chimaera _ .  The  _ Chimaera _ meant Thrawn, and if that was true then this was it, this was the planet they ended up on, it would have to be.  He let out his held breath as an anxious laugh, a slow smile stretched across his face. He found them.

Behind him, he heard Jessa walk back into the cockpit.  He turned around, showing her his enthused smile and he ran to her, scooping her up in his arms with an excited giggle.  She squealed and laughed along with him as he held her up high then back down into a hug. Gladly, Jessa hugged him back, kicking her legs around.  He pulled her back so she could read his lips.

“This is it, my friend he’s here!”  She read his lips and looked up giving him a wide grin.

“Yay!”  She threw up her arms as she exclaimed.  He set her down and gave her nose a light tap.

“Go take any toys off your bed please, in case he needs to lay down okay?”  She gave him a determined nod and scurried off to the cot he’d given to her.  She could sleep on the passenger chairs with him for a few nights if Thrawn needed an actual bed.

With her off cleaning up, he went back to the cockpit and pinged back to the signal transmitter, trying to open conversation.  He waited a few minutes, but there was no response on the other end. Which was suspicious, but the distress signal was set on repeat so it could be switched on and left alone, it wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility that no one was around the transmitter.

Fine, he’d just narrow down the source and find them that way.  He sat back in his chair, taking up the controls, and diving straight down towards the planet.  The world was very vibrant, green stretching on impressively and consistently. With the high leaved trees and the luscious looking green grass, it wasn’t the worst place to be stranded for a few years.  Compared to Thrawn’s exile planet that he’d been on for a few months, which was extremely hot and humid, this one seemed much more temperate.

Before narrowing in on the source of the transmission, he started seeing signs of a large scale crash having occurred here.  Trees bent, snapped and parted as he neared, in a straight line. He could distinguish the first point of contact, even all these years later, leading to what must be the  _ Chimaera’s _ final resting spot.  They had to be here. He was nearly on top of the signal when he caught his first sight of metal, and in an instant his world froze.

The Star Destroyer he’d been searching for, longing to see again for years had come into view.  And it was as terrible as his nightmare. The  _ Chimaera _ , what was once his ship, once his home, was in complete and total ruin.  Embedded into the ground, metal twisted, ripped, cracked missing, viewports shattered, overgrown with moss and plants.  It looked like lost ruins to him, ones that had lain untouched for hundreds of years. It reminded him of a tomb.

Like an icy wave, he felt the realization wash over him, that just because the  _ Chimaera  _ and Karyn were here, did not mean Thrawn still was.  Unable to stop himself, he ran the numbers and probability of surviving what looked to be a catastrophic crash, and the numbers he was coming up with twisted at his heart.  He was far more likely walking into Thrawn’s grave than the man himself. They could all be dead, there was no way to know how long that message had been playing, most likely long enough for even the speaker of the message to have died from the elements, starvation, or predators.  A fully stocked Star Destroyer had enough supplies to last a full crew two years. It’s been six now.

He swallowed slowly, coming closer to the downed ship, the whole scene giving him mild flashes of his nightmare from a few days back.  His palms become sweaty, thinking that Thrawn would be inside, having bled out before Eli could save him. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if he found Thrawn dead.  When he’d left on this journey, he was so confident and certain that Thrawn was still alive, but over the past twenty days, that confidence had wavered and pittered out into nothing.

“Eli?”  Jessa shocked him out of his racing thoughts, the girl suddenly beside him, placing a comforting hand over his which clawed at his chair’s armrest.

“Y-Yes…?”  He mustered, trying to school back whatever horrifying look must have been on his face.

“What’s wrong?”  She looked scared, not of him, thankfully, but rather for him, and herself.

“Nothing’s wrong.  It’s fine, but I’m going to have to land, remember what I told you?”  She nibbled on her own lip, looking uncertain that he was fine but didn’t ask again.

“To wait for you, and if anyone tries coming on board to hide in the fresher.”  He gave her a smile he didn’t feel and nodded.

“Yes, exactly, grab whatever toys you want and sit down by the fresher for me please, it’ll only take a moment to land.”  She hesitated next to him a moment, clearly reluctant to leave his side, but slowly shuffled out of the cockpit. Regardless of what he found there, be it Thrawn alive or dead, his first priority was to protect Jessa, and that wasn’t going to change.

With her gone, Eli took up the controls again.  He did a quick circle of the ship, seeing what looked like an encampment set up on its one side, but he couldn’t see anyone down there.  Swallowing down his rising anxiety, he began the landing sequence, an area at the edge of the camp which was clear enough for him. The second the ship had settled down, he powered down, bolted to his cabinet, equipping himself with a blaster, and steeling himself for what he might find out there.

He turned around once he felt he had everything, laying a hand over his chest, where the two necklaces from Thrass lay under his shirt, hoping to derive strength from it.  Jessa was nervously kicking her legs in the chair she’d sat up in, holding one of her doll’s close to her heart. She looked very scared, no doubt because of his own fear that he wasn’t good enough at obscuring.  He didn’t want to leave her alone, but he couldn’t take her with him to investigate. However, he did have an idea.

Digging around in his cabinet again, Eli pulled something free and hurriedly moved up to Jessa.  She looked up at him, tightening her hold on the toy, and her brown eyes widened as Eli presented her with another.  The Chiss doll, Tiviza. She looked at it, then back up at him, her fear replaced with confusion.

“I have to go, but I don’t want you to be alone.  Let her protect you while I’m gone.” He said, holding the doll out again for her to take.  This time, she reached out with one arm, gently taking the doll from Eli. When he didn’t stop her, she enthusiastically pulled it close, holding it to her chest next to the other toy.

“Thank you.”  She whispered, and cracked a small smile.  He leaned down, brushing her hair back and giving her a soft kiss on her forehead.

“I won’t be long, I promise.”  She nodded, holding the two dolls close to her heart.  He gave her one last, long look, before turning to exit the shuttle.

He descended the ramp slowly, leading with his blaster and scanning the area.  He still could see no one, person or animal, anywhere near him. At the very base of the ramp, he did a final quick sweep then stepped down onto the planet’s surface.  Once certain the immediate area was safe, he moved to seal the ramp again, using the palm scanner.

Just as it looked, the planet’s temperature, at least in this region, was relatively mild when compared to Thrawn’s exile planet where they had first found him.  Not the worst place to be trapped.

Not the worst place to die.

He flinched at his own thoughts, his grip tightening on his blaster.  He needed to stay focused, time was of the essence and there was no telling what threats could lay just out of sight.

“Hey!  I know you!”  He flinched again, an unfamiliar voice came from somewhere above him.  It was in Basic, and Human and male in sound, but from above him? He readied his blaster, aiming high, searching for the source.  High above him, perched on one of the jutting metal pieces of the  _ Chimaera _ , was a cloaked figure staring down at him.  He couldn’t make out the face from this distance and with the hood, so he kept his blaster trained on them.  What was he even doing up there, and how was he planning on getting down?

The figure answered the last question for him, by standing to his full height and leaping down from his spot meters in the air.  He did a spin mid air and came down, far more gracefully than a man should leaping to what could be his death. Eli stumbled back watching the cloaked man as he fell closer to the earth, and landed perfectly on his feet in a crouch.  Eli kept his blaster on the man as he slowly rose back to full height, and the first thing he saw on his face was a cheeky grin.

His hands rose to lower the hood of his cloak, and Eli belatedly realized he recognized this cloak.  It was Thrawn’s, the very same one that he’d used to visit Pryce for that secret meeting she’d requested.  The hood was lowered, and the recognition slowly dawned on him. This was Ezra Bridger.

He was clearly older, no longer the young teen that Eli had known from the holos, but he could see the facial similarities.  His hair, once short, was longer, a bit scraggy and unkempt, his face poorly shaven, but showing a clear attempt, aside from the patch of beard at the man’s chin.  The most distinguishing marker that this was in fact Ezra, were the two scars on his left cheek. That would explain how he survived a drop from that height, his Jedi powers.

“Ezra Bridger?”  He asked, not daring to lower his blaster.  The man before him gave another wide grin.

“In the flesh, and you’re Eli Vanto!”  Was his response, and Eli had to fight the confusion from crossing over his features.

“How do you know that?”  He’s never met Ezra before, only knew him by face and reputation.  How could this Jedi in training and Lothal Rebel know who he is.

“Thrawn told me about you.  When you came up in an Imperial shuttle everyone fell back to ‘more strategic positions’ to figure out who it was and what they were doing here.  But it's you, I love when Thrawn is wrong!” He chuckled to himself and Eli couldn’t find the humor in himself.

“How many people survived?”  Looking at the condition of the  _ Chimaera _ , he probably wouldn’t like the answer.

“Um, there’s about eighty six people left now, the years have been a little rough.”  He felt that number hit him like a ton of bricks. Only eighty six, of the entire  _ Chimaera  _ crew, people he knew, worked with, who were his friends, and only eighty six of them remained.  He let out a breath that he hadn’t realized he’d held and placed a hand over his stuttering heart.

“A-And Thrawn?  Did he survive?”  Ezra’s face had fallen from his grin, apparently it dawned on him the seriousness of this conversation.

“Um, you should just come with me.”  He gestured towards the camp, and not even waiting for Eli to acknowledge began walking away.  Belatedly, Eli snapped out of his thoughts and hurried after him. The camp was deserted, and how much of that was due to the others lying in wait for a signal or because of lost lives, he didn’t want to know.  He scanned each area they passed, the makeshift structures and tents, areas clearly made up for food storage, electrical components. It looked very lived in.

“Hey everybody, we’re good!”  Ezra called cupping his hands around his mouth to amplify the sound.  There was hesitation and no one appeared.

“Say ‘status all clear’, they’ll respond more readily to that.”  Eli interjected not even realizing he was going to before he did.

“Okay um, status all clear?”  He fought back a smile when the surrounding area of brush and debris began to move almost immediately, and Humans began emerging from their concealment.  It was very easy to fight back a smile, as his jaw dropped open watching so many familiar faces show themselves. Eli didn’t know every single member of the  _ Chimaera _ , but he knew who was and wasn’t supposed to be on board, so he at least knew their faces.  And clearly, they all knew his. He saw his own gaping look reflected on every individual who met his eyes.

It was such an odd experience, to be at the center of a growing group of people who all looked at him the exact same way.  Then another face joined theirs, one he knew much better than other miscellaneous members of the Chimaera crew. Karyn Faro, the woman he’d come to see as a close friend among all the other officers, her entire body went stock still as her eyes found his.  For a moment, they all stood there, staring, even Ezra remained still and quiet.

Then Eli’s world came to a screeching halt.

His eyes found blazing red, and they found him in return.  Standing tall beside Karyn, blue black hair cascading down past his shoulders, face twisted in unmistakable shock, was Thrawn, alive, in one piece, watching him with his intense stare.  There was a blaster held in his hands, but it was all forgotten, dropped from his grip to the ground in his complete and utter shock. Eli had never been able to surprise Thrawn in all the years of knowing him, this was a first.

His heart had stuttered to a halt, but now rammed against his rib cage, going faster with every second as his eyes took in the complete form of the Chiss before him.  Wearing his under shirt, and olive green pants, both tattered and dirty. He dropped his gaze to his chest, feeling a large weight off his shoulders seeing no mark or indication of a wound he was or had suffered from.

Thrawn was alive, he was here, he’d found him.  After all these years, and he was finally face to face with his mentor, his friend, his ally, the love of his life.  His quest was a success, all his fear, his worry was for nothing now, all his struggles and suffering had paid off, his prize was before him, meters away.  Beside him, he saw Ezra move, to do what, Eli wasn’t sure, and he could care less. Because with that motion in his peripheral vision, it set him off, and likewise, Thrawn.

He sprinted, faster than he’s felt he’d ever run before in his life.  He could feel nothing, see nothing, except for Thrawn’s own running figure coming closer and closer, so close.  He was hit first, all of Thrawn’s weight barreling into him, strong arms wrapping tightly around him, which he reciprocated, feeling like if he didn’t gather all of Thrawn up with him that he’d disappear, that this would all vanish into a cruel mirage or dream.  Thrawn seemed to feel the same way.

But he didn’t disappear, he was still there, squeezing Eli so hard he nearly couldn’t breath, but he didn’t mind.  Thrawn was here, in his arms, he had him and it was real. He let out a strangled breath, feeling his lip quiver with tears his body desperately wanted to shed.  He fought them back, no matter how much of his relief tried to flow out in them, he held back, closing his eyes and basking in the feeling of Thrawn all around him.

“E-Eli…”  Thrawn stuttered next to his ear, his voice just as smooth and deep as he remembered.  Hearing it alone might have brought him to tears, but he still fought them back.

“ _ I’m here Thrawn, I’m really here. _ ”  He responded in Cheunh, knowing it had been a long time since Thrawn had heard his native tongue.  The arms around him flinched, then tightened as a sound ripped through Thrawn’s throat, one he’d never,  _ never _ , heard from the Chiss.  It was a sob.

He had to fight against Thrawn to pull back far enough to see his face.  Slowly, the Chiss’ hold loosened and Eli finally got to look up at his features.  There were clear tracks of tears leading from Thrawn’s eyes down his cheeks, cutting through the build up dirt, dust, and what he hoped wasn’t blood, like twin rivers.  Eli’s hand twitched up, as if to cup Thrawn’s cheek, but thought better of it, there was no certainty that the action would be appreciated. He may be legally married to Thrawn, but that didn’t mean that there were any reciprocated emotions between them

“I missed you.”  Thrawn spoke through the tears, giving Eli a shaky smile.  Eli couldn’t help but return the smile, feeling his heart swell to the point of bursting, and in a choked sob of his own, he let his tears fall.

“I can see that.  I missed you too, so many years, I-”  A sob cut him off and he raised a hand to wipe away the tears, hoping to cover his shame from the numerous watching eyes around him.  But Thrawn stopped his hand, his own coming up to his face, thin fingers cradling his head and thumbs swiping at the tears. Any further thoughts were lost on him as he stared up into Thrawn’s eyes, which he’d never seen burn so brightly.

“Eli Nerero Vanto.”  Thrawn whispered, his other hand coming up to cup Eli’s cheek.  “I lost my chance years ago, now I have been given a second opportunity to say what I did not before, and I do not intend to waste this chance.”

“W-What is it…?”  Eli whispered back, feeling his poor heart hammering against his own rib cage so hard he thought his ribs might just snap.

“ _ My blood beats with you, a half of a whole which cannot be lived without.  You held my words in your hands, now please, hold my heart. _ ”  Eli’s heart stopped, his breath halted and his brain nearly stopped working.  That was a confession of love, the first part he’d only heard once in Cheunh, it was customary to say at bonding rituals.  The second part was entirely Thrawn’s words, and Eli thought he had to be dreaming.

“ _ D-Do you mean that? _ ”  He needed confirmation, to be certain Thrawn was saying exactly what he thought he was.

“I love you, Eli.”  Thrawn gave him the softest smile he’s seen on any person, Human or Chiss, and all the people around them be damned.  He pushed forward, Thrawn allowing him to move, as Eli’s face came close and collided with Thrawn’s. He heard Thrawn gasp through his nose as their lips met.

It was everything he could have ever hoped for.  Thawn had haunted his thoughts and heart for years upon years, all of it culminating in this unionizing of their lips.  Something he’d resigned himself to never have, and it was here, his for the taking, and take he did. One kiss turned to two, to three, before he had to pull back from the sudden emotional over stimulation.

“Stars Thrawn!”  He gasped pulling back, only for Thrawn to follow him and rested his forehead against his.  “I love you, have loved you for so very, very long. Don’t you dare leave me again!”

“Never.”  He promised with a whisper, pulling Eli closer in his hold.

“We have many things to discuss.”  Eli said, making no move to pull back.

“We do.”

“Everyone is still watching us.”

“They are.”

“I need to address them.”

“You do.”

“Then let me go.”  Thrawn’s eyes opened, gazing deeply into Eli’s, the intensity never diminishing.  Then slowly, Thrawn let him go, and he untangled himself from the Chiss. Once they’d separated, Eli felt himself hit with another force and embraced.  It took him a second to register what had happened, before he noticed it was in fact Karyn hugging him.

“I thought you were dead!”  The woman chastised, giving Eli’s torso a squeeze.  He belatedly returned the hug, still rather shocked that Karyn was hugging him at all.  They were colleges, and Eli would have regarded them as friends, but he never thought the woman cared for him enough to embrace him.

“I thought you were all dead.”  He chuckled nervously. The woman held him a moment longer before pulling away and giving him a sheepish smile.

“But you went missing, we all feared the worst, that you had died.  I never thought we’d ever see you again.” Eli furrowed his brows and looked to Thrawn.

“You never told her what happened?”  Thrawn at least had the decency to look ashamed.

“Your mission was integral, and I wished not to cause interference should the truth be known of its nature.”  Thrawn answered. Karyn gave Thrawn something just shy of a glare but turned a softened glaze back on Eli.

“How did you find us, and are you here to take us back, what’s happened since we’ve been away?!”  As she asked each question, the murmurs of the crowded around them began to grow, no doubt everyone was desperately wanting to know of everything they’d missed, which was understandable.

“Okay okay, there’s a lot to talk about, so I’ll start at the beginning.”

Ezra directed him over to an elevated platform that they’d use for group meetings so he could better be heard by the large crowd.  He started with explaining his absence from the _Chimaera_ , with no Empire there was no reason to hide the reason for his departure to the Chiss Ascendancy.  The news seemed to pass over well with the group. Then on to describe the harder topics, such as the defeat of the Empire. That news was met with a slightly less warm response.  Overall, people seemed positive with the news that the Empire had been thoroughly dissolved, aside from a few worried murmurs of what would happen to them now. The term ‘war criminals’ was tossed around a few times, but overall, it seemed rescue trumped whatever fate remained in the New Republic.

Then, they went on to the future.   _ Blue Bird _ only had a maximum passenger limit of twenty with a six person cockpit crew, meaning he could only take on twenty three people on top of himself, Thrawn, and Jessa.  That left sixty three in need of evacuation. He was certain that Sabine, who apparently had yet to make contact with this world, would not have the space to accommodate that many people either.

There was a bit of debate on the best course of action.  While he wouldn’t like it, Eli would have gone through taking trips of twenty six at a time back and forth until everyone was back in the known galaxy, except for the fact that the trip back to charted space would be three days, adding six days to each trip needed to make.  Lengthy, and frustrating, but he would do it if he had to.

Thankfully, it was Ezra who came up with the best solution.  The New Republic would be the most equipped to extract large numbers of people from unknown worlds.  And dropping an important name in the Rebellion like Ezra Bridger, would perk a few ears. Eli tried not to show how completely relieved to hear he wouldn’t be carting 86 people back and forth in his tiny shuttle.

It was decided in the end, that Karyn would organize what twenty three people that wanted to avoid contact with the New Republic to leave with Eli and Thrawn, and the rest would remain and pack up camp to be prepared for pick up.  Thankfully, with Karyn and Thrawn calling the orders, there were no objections or complaints, and everyone jumped into action. It seemed that even after years out of the Empire, they all still adhered to Imperial hierarchy.

The moment that the meetings were dismissed, Eli grabbed hold of Thrawn and pulled him aside.  With the bustle and commotion around them, it was relatively easy for the duo to slip away out of the direct sight of the others.  Thrawn, seeming to understand, voiced no protest. Once far enough away, Eli stopped dragging Thrawn and instead laced his fingers with the blue man’s.

“There’s some, private things I need to discuss with you.”  He said making sure he had Thrawn’s full attention. Thrawn nodded slowly, bringing one hand up to brush back Eli’s hair, and trail down his cheek.  He gave Eli a smile his hand sliding down his neck and pausing at his shoulder where his smile faltered.

Slowly, to telegraph his movements, he reached for something at Eli’s collar.  His fingers brushed it, began to tug, and Eli realized he’d seen the cord of one of the necklaces.  He remained silent, watching as Thrawn’s eyes roamed over the cord until the crystal at its end slid out of his shirt and lightly tapped at his chest.  Thrawn’s eyes widened suddenly, and it was clear he recognized it.

“This is one of them.”  He chuckled nervously, bringing his own hand to cradle the crystal.

“You’ve been bonded?”  Thrawn asked finally, something in his voice sounding strained.  He did know what this necklace was then. Rather than answer, feeling a spark of anxiety crawling up his chest, Eli pulled the cord of the second necklace, letting it dangle down beside the first.

“Widowed.”  Thrawn mumbled, his tone dropping a shade darker.  He couldn’t help but chuckle, feeling his face heat up under Thrawn’s gaze.

“Not exactly.  Yes I’ve been bonded, however…”  Biting his lip, Eli slipped off the top necklace, holding it gently in his hand and holding it out towards Thrawn.  “Thrass said that I wouldn’t be permitted to search for you unless I had just reason, such as being a member of the Eighth Ruling Family.  Since they wouldn’t dare adopt a Human into the family, the only option was bonding, and well, you were the only one available.” His eyes darted away as he held the necklace out farther, too nervous for Thrawn’s reaction.  He felt Thrawn’s hands slowly come closer and take the necklace out of his hands, and once the weight was gone, he brought his hands together, wringing them together.

“We are bonded?”  Thrawn asked for clarification Eli knew he shouldn’t need.  Thrawn was extremely intelligent and a master at deduction, no doubt he already completely understood the situation.  Nonetheless, Eli took it as confusion and mild disgust.

“Yes.  Thrass, as a Syndic and your blood kin, had the right to marry you off, so officially, we’re bonded.  It’s not much of a proposal,” he chuckled, “but I guess nothing we do ever really is normal. These were a gift from Thrass for us two, I already left a message on that one.  If you want to deny this union, you have the right to, I’m just sorry to have taken your bond, I know how they are for Chiss, and that you can never re-bond but-”

“Eli.”  Thrawn spoke gently, no raise to his voice or rough edges to it, but Eli still flinched.  He turned to meet Thrawn’s eyes and found their intense glow upon his. “Stop talking.” He ordered, and leaned down meeting Eli’s lips in a passionate kiss.  A little slow on the uptake, Eli eventually kissed back, bringing a hand up to bury his fingers in Thrawn’s long hair.

“So this means…”  He panted as they separated, desperately needing to hear Thrawn say it aloud.

“I am honored and would wish no one else to be bonded to.  Eli Vanto, I am bound to you.” Eli swallowed at Thrawn’s words, feeling each one hit him straight at the core of his heart.  This was real, actually and truly real. Thrawn was alive, they were married, and Thrawn was happy about it.

“Kirff.”  He cursed surging forward, stealing another kiss, one of hopefully many, many more to come.  Thrawn pulled back first, just far enough to slip the necklace over his own head, the crystal dangling right over his heart.  “I can’t believe this is all real.” He sighed, staring at the crystal. Thrawn’s hand found his cheek again, thumb brushing gently at the soft skin under his eye.

“I never believed you would come.  I knew nothing in the galaxy would have stopped you from searching, but I had hoped you wouldn’t.  I didn’t think I would survive long enough to see you.”

“I love it when you’re wrong.”  He and Thrawn shared a smile.

“You and Bridger would have much in common I believe.”

“His friends are searching for him.  Sabine Wren, I met her, I was worried she’d kill you if she had made it to you first.”  Thrawn’s other arm snaked around his waist, pulling him flush to his chest, Eli gladly rested his head there, letting the sound of Thrawn’s heartbeat keep him calm.

“Bridger would not have allowed her to.”

“So you’ve made friends with your enemy?”  He gazed up with a teasing smile, Thrawn met him by resting their foreheads together.

“Once we landed here-”

“Crashed here, don’t even try and joke yourself by calling  _ that _ a landing.”

“Once we crashed here, we ceased to be enemies, but rather allies.  We have come to an understanding based on found...similarities.”

“Did you tell him about sky-walkers, and...about you?”  He couldn't fathom a single other similarity between Mitth’raw’nuruodo, Chiss sky-walker and Imperial Grand Admiral, and Ezra Bridger, Rebel Jedi in training.  Outside of their lack of parentage, there was nothing linking them together but the Force. Thrawn nodded slowly.

“Yes, I see you’ve learned the truth of this matter as well.  There was an incident...something of importance to the Chiss has occurred that we need to discuss.  Later however, when we are in complete privacy. For now, what else did you have to discuss?” Something of importance to the Chiss regarding sky-walkers?  That was a rather large subject to only hint at then demand Eli to wait, but he would wait. When it came to sky-walkers, everything was treated with absolute care.

“Right!  Well...there’s no easy way to explain this next one, other than to show you.”  He pulled back from Thrawn’s embrace, but taking up his hand once more. He motioned towards his ship, and lead the Chiss that way.  Thrawn came without word. As they got within sight of his ship, he felt Thrawn slow his stride slightly. Glancing back, he could see him inspecting the interesting new paint job.

“You like the new look of  _ Blue Bird _ ?”  He asked Thrawn, releasing his hand and wandering up to the palm scanner.

“You had Sabine Wren mark it for you.  In order to cause less suspicion for flying an Imperial shuttle.”  Thrawn mused, bringing his hand up to his chin as he inspected the artwork.

“Not surprised you recognize her style.  She offered after I caused a bit of a stir on Lothal flying this thing around.  Can’t say I’m the biggest fan but I knew you’d appreciate it.” He looked back to see the Chiss smiling to himself.

“You were correct.  I see lothcats are still a preferred favorite of hers.”  Placing his palm over the scanner, the ramp began descending with a hiss.

“Wait here.” Thrawn nodded his acknowledgement and Eli marched up into the shuttle alone.  As soon as he made it into the main area and saw Jessa sitting in her chair, the girl’s face lit up and she hopped down running into his arms.  He knelt just in time to meet her, feeling her tiny arms circle around his neck and Tiviza’s doll dangle at his back in her hand.

“You’re back!”  She squealed. “Did you find your friend?”  She pulled back to read his lips.

“I did.”  Her entire face lit up like a binary sun system.

“Can I meet him, can I?!”  Eli chuckled, feeling Jessa wiggle in his arms in excitement.

“Of course, he’s right outside.”  Jessa drew back her arms, holding Tiviza’s doll close to her chest and lightly kicked her feet against his sides.  He turned, making his way back down the ramp, eyes trained on where he left Thrawn, wanting to see his initial reaction.  It was a look he didn’t want to miss.

Step by step he made his way down the ramp watching as Thrawn’s face came into view.  His eyes narrowed at first, before widening a fraction in surprise. He dropped his arms to his side, waiting patiently for Eli to meet him.  Jessa leaned forward, almost falling out of Eli’s arms to get a look at the Chiss. As they walked up to Thrawn, the girl seemed to fall back into her shyness, shrinking back into Eli’s chest.

“Thrawn, this is Jessa Zaitvi Vanto.  I rescued her when I was out searching for you and well...I’ve adopted her.  She’s deaf, but she’s good at reading lips, and I’ve been learning sign language.”  He said taking short glances between Jessa and Thrawn. Thrawn was still good at obscuring his thoughts from his body language and facial movements, but Eli could see for certain that he was a little surprised.

“You have a daughter.”  He repeated to himself with a nod.  “Many things have changed these past few years.”  He eyed Jessa, red eyes trailing up and down her, a normal inspection Thrawn did without realizing how creepy it could be, and Jessa shied away from him again as he did.  “Hello Jessa Vanto,” Thrawn began, and shockingly to Eli he was signing along with his words perfectly, “it is a pleasure to meet you, you may call me Thrawn.” Jessa seemed surprise that Thrawn was signing as well, but the fact that there was that link between the two had the girl opening up, just like with Doctor Marny.

“Hello Thrawn.”  Jessa leaned away from Eli enough to use her hands to sign back.  Tiviza’s doll sandwiched between him and her so it stayed in place.  Thankfully she spoke along with her signs like Eli had asked her so he could still understand.

“What is it you have there?”  Thrawn asked motioning to the doll.  Remembering the toy Jessa pulled it up to her chest, holding it securely.

“It’s not mine, it’s Eli’s.  She looks like you, you have long hair just like her.”  Thrawn gave her a gentle smile, stepping closer to look over the toy.

“She certainly does, does she have a name?”  Thrawn shot a look to Eli but waited for Jessa to answer.

“Tiviza!  Did I say it right?”  She looked to Eli for confirmation and he gave her a nod.

“Will I get to know the origin of this doll?”  This time the question was directed at Eli.

“It’s a long story...I’ll tell you later when we’re in complete privacy.”  The re-use of Thrawn’s earlier words seemed to be enough for him to understand and he dropped it.

“I like your eyes, they’re prettier than I thought they’d be.”  Jessa said, drawing back Thrawn’s attention.

“Thank you.”  They smiled at each other and Eli felt Jessa begin to relax in his arms further.

“Are you coming with us?”

“I am.”

“Jessa, we’re going to have a lot of new guests coming with us for the next few days.”  Eli interjected, drawing Jessa’s attention so she could read his lips. “Are you going to be okay with that?  They’re all nice people, friends of mine and Thrawn’s.” Jessa looked away, picking at her fingers as she thought.

“Okay, if they’re nice I’ll be okay.”  He pulled her closer, giving her a kiss to her temple.

“Thank you, just for three days then it’ll just be us three and one more person.”

“Bridger?”  Thrawn asked, and Eli nodded.

“I promised Sabine I’d bring him back if I found him.”  The ship was large, and it was only a short distance back to Lothal after making it back to charted space.  “Now let’s go check on their progress, I want to get out of here as quickly as possible.

Thankfully, Karyn was still as efficient as he remembered her being, and preparations were well underway.  They’d already selected the twenty three to go with Eli and Thrawn and had moved onto collecting anything those twenty three wanted to take with them.  Eli caused a bit of a stir by coming back with Jessa, and caused a hiccup where everyone stopped to investigate her. But it was short lived, once he saw that Jessa was becoming overwhelmed, Thrawn gave them a bark and everyone went back to work.

Thrawn also was sticking very close to Eli, trailing after him or next to him, not letting him get to far away at any time.  Which Eli could understand, he too wanted to make sure Thrawn was still close in sight at any time, an irrational part of his brain fearful that the Chiss may up and disappear on him at a moments notice.  He also found it endearing that Thrawn shared that sentiment. Everytime he found the man watching him, or saw the necklace around his neck catch in the sunlight, he smiled.

Jessa seemed too scared to want down, and while her weight would strain his arms a bit, he would just swap which hip she was on and keep going.  She wasn’t too overwhelmed that Eli felt the need to take her away, rather she was very interested in the bustle around them, all the people and the wreckage of the  _ Chimaera _ .  Eli had managed to slip away from the crowd again, moving up to the the busted ship, laying a gentle hand on its exterior.  He knew Thrawn was close behind him, but it didn’t matter, he needed a second to say goodbye to his old ship.

Jessa nuzzled her face into his neck, looking up at the structure silently.  He rubbed his thumb over the collection of vegetation to see the metal underneath.  He curled his hand into a fist, pressing lightly against the metal before pushing back away.

“It was a pleasure old girl.”  He whispered. “You’ll be missed.”  Lingering only a moment longer, he turned away, and met back up with Thrawn, who said nothing about the interaction, but placed his hand comfortingly at the small of his back.

From there, Eli and Thrawn helped the twenty three passengers gather their things and move them onto the  _ Blue Bird _ .  He’d already decided that he, Jessa, Thrawn, Karyn and Ezra would be the ones to inhabit the cockpit, Jessa deserving some type of privacy.  That was only five but just one unfamiliar person would be better than twenty. Or at least that was his intention, but as life likes to do, there was a wrench to those plans.

“What do you mean you’re staying?  I promised to bring you back Ezra.”  Eli argued. Ezra had come up to them towards the end of loading up the shuttle and dropped the sudden bomb that he wasn’t going with them.

“Sabine is out there, and if she’s coming for me, there’s no use in leaving.”  The young man shot back casually.

“You don’t even know if they’ll find this place.”  Eli crossed his arms, fighting down his rising frustrations.  He’d set Jessa down once he thought an argument was imminent and the girl had gone over to Thrawn, hiding behind his leg.

“You did, so I know she will, she has the Force on her side.  I have to be here when she finds me.” Eli scoffed at his words rubbing a hand to his forehead, feeling a headache coming on.

“Ezra, I-”

“Eli.”  Thrawn interrupted him, placing a gentle hand to his shoulder.  “Believe him, he will be alright. His friends are coming.” He turned to the Chiss, opening his mouth to refute him, but the look Thrawn gave him had him second guessing that.

“You’re certain she’ll find you.”  He instead asked of Ezra.

“Positive, I can sense she’s close.”  He looked off, towards the sky, at something far away that none of them could see.  “Also could you not tell her you found me? Not that I think she’d receive any transmissions right now.  But yeah, I’ll be fine, get this one out of here, I’m tired of him!” He playfully punched Thrawn’s shoulder, and rather than look annoyed or even angry like Eli thought he would, the Chiss smiled at him.

“I too believe our time together has come to an end.”  Thrawn spoke, placing a hand on Ezra’s shoulder. “I will miss you Ezra Bridger, while our time together is not as I would have wanted it, I am still grateful for everything you have done.  I wish you luck in your future, and will cherish our time together.” Eli watched awestruck as Thrawn gave Ezra a respectful bow, complete with a soft smile.

“Back atcha.”  Ezra watched him for a moment, grinning wide before it fell slightly at the ends.  “Ah Hells.” He mumbled and as if there weren’t enough shocks for Eli today, the young Jedi hugged Thrawn.  Thrawn was at least also surprised by that one as well, his arms coming up at the hug, but slowly, he relaxed and brought one arm over the man’s shoulder in a small return of the embrace.

“Goodbye Ezra.”  He said as Ezra pulled back.

“Bye Thrawn, stay out of trouble, don’t make me regret being nice to you.”

“Of course.”  He nodded his head and Ezra gave him another large smile.

“We’re all loaded up.”  Karyn said suddenly coming up behind them.  “We’re ready to leave any time.” Eli gave her a nod taking a moment to get over his shock.

“Y-Yes, thank you Karyn, we’ll be underway soon.”  He said to her. She smiled, looking between Thrawn and Ezra knowingly.

“I take it he told you he’s staying.”

“Yes, we’ve had that fun chat.”  Eli sighed.

“Then this is officially goodbye.”  She walked past them, headed right for Ezra.  “I wasn’t thrilled with what you did to my ship, my crew, and my superior officer, however, I must say, I found you an interesting ally Bridger, and I thank you for all you’ve done for us.”

“No one can say I don’t take responsibility for the things I do.  And you guys weren’t half bad after all.” Ezra answered her. Karyn smiled and shook her head.

“It’s been a pleasure Ezra, farewell.”  She held out her hand, and Ezra gladly took it giving her an enthusiastic shake.

“Just be happy you’re getting out of here before Sabine catches you all!  Bye Karyn, take care of them, they need you.” She nodded again with a chuckle and retracted her hand.

“I’ll be waiting on the ship.”  She waited for acknowledgment from Eli and Thrawn before taking her leave.

“Guess that just leaves me.  I never got to know you Ezra, but I heard much about you from your friend and your people.  You’re a hero on Lothal you know.” Eli spoke up once Karyn had gone. Ezra smiled sadly and looked off into the woods.

“It’ll be nice to go home.  It’s still okay right, the Empire did they come back?”  Ezra asked, turning back to him.

“No, Lothal was spared the wrath of the Emperor.  From what I learned, the Galactic Civil War sparked not long after and Lothal was all but forgotten in the conflict.  It’s thriving, beautifully, I might add.”

“Good.”  He let out a sigh.  “I got to finish what my parents started then.”

“I want to also thank you, from what I understand, you may have been the one to push Thrawn over, you were also the one who picked him back up and for that, I am grateful.  I feel you may have saved him from a terrible fate by stealing him over Lothal.” Ezra chuckled to himself and rubbed at the back of his neck.

“Well, I didn’t do that for him but, yeah, you’re welcome.  I couldn’t leave him to die, no matter how much he thought he would.”  They each shot a look at Thrawn who just stood there impassively.

“Nevertheless, you have my respect.  I wish you luck, and hope Sabine comes for you soon.”  He held out his own hand for Ezra to shake, who took it just as gladly as he took Karyn’s.

“You too, good luck I mean.  Thank you for taking this one, he missed you a whole lot.”  He winked at Thrawn who’s face finally did twist up in something that might be embarrassment or frustration, but the smile that went with it lightented the severity.  “Goodbye to you too!” He leaned down giving Jessa wave. She shied away from him, but did weakly wave back at him.

“We’ve got to get going then, goodbye.”  They shared another look, and with that, Eli felt free to finally finish his mission and take Thrawn away from this place.  He leaned down, hauling Jessa up into his arms, and turned to leave, Thrawn following after him.

The  _ Blue Bird _ had never been this crowded in all Eli’s time flying it.  But it was an organized chaos, most of their passengers seated in their respective seats.  As they boarded and sealed the ramp behind them, a few of them called out to him, saying their thanks and praises.  Eli responded as well as he could, but made straight for the cockpit.

Inside he found Karyn talking with two other officers Eli recognized as Pyrondi and Hammerly.  All three women welcomed them to the cockpit with smiles which Eli returned. He moved towards the front, setting Jessa down in the open seat behind the pilot’s chair, and took up that chair, leaving Thrawn the copilot seat.  But as they sat down Jessa made a whine.

“Can’t I sit in your lap?”  She asked, pulling her legs up to her chest and nervously looking at Karyn who was sitting next to her.

“Not while I fly, remember the rule.”  Eli turned around in the chair to answer her, signing what words he knew.

“What about his lap?”  She pointed to Thrawn. “He’s not flying.”  Eli, a little shocked that Jessa had taken to Thrawn so immediately looked over at the Chiss, silently asking him if that was alright.  Thrawn nodded and gave Jessa a smile.

“You may sit here if you like.”  He spoke and signed to her. Jessa smiled, sliding down from her chair and over to Thrawn, who picked her up and deposited her in his lap.  There were hushed cooing and awing from Pyrondi and Hammerly which Karyn had to shoot down.

“Thank you!”  She called, still cradling Tiviza’s doll in her arms.

“Alright, everyone all set?”  Eli asked, prepping the engines for takeoff.

“Everything is in place, we are ready.”  Karyn answered him.

“Then let’s get out of here.”

Once all systems came back green, Eli began takeoff, more than glad to be back on track, with his love at his side, his child close by, and his old friends at his back.  As they began to rise up over the tree line, they could see Ezra still standing where they left him, giving them large waves, and the remainder of the  _ Chimaera’s  _ crew together in the center of their camp giving them their own send off.  This was it, they made it, Eli smiled wide, stalling just a moment longer to watch before making for space.  They were home free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He did it! They're reunited and it feels so good! I hope you all enjoyed, we're so close to the end now, just three more chapters to go! It's been a hell of a journey but I'm glad to start seeing some resolutions!  
> I used a poll on Twitter to choose Eli's middle name but all options ended up being tied so I went with Nerero, let me know what you think of it, if it works well or no! Thank you all for sticking this out with me, I'm eternally grateful!
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	28. Chapter Sixteen - Sabine - Destination Zero Part Two

Sabine had thought that following the Purrgil would have been faster than jumping blindly through the Unknown Regions, apparently not.  Rather than a straight shot, the Purrgil went in short bursts at a time, she quickly discovered. They would drop, circle each other before, angle a heading and jump again.  Ahsoka had said they might have been trying to locate other Purrgil when they would drop, but she wasn’t so sure.

What she was sure of was that the time was dragging on.  Only now, she was handling it better than she had when she and Ahsoka had first left Lothal.  Back then they were rushing from planet to planet practically running errands. Now, at least they were making actual progress forward, which she could muster more patience for.  She was a bit frustrated after one day passed with no sign of Ezra, but by the end of the second she just settled into this for the long run.

Ahsoka, as usual, seemed completely untroubled by this method of searching.  She would sit and meditate more often than not, or engage with Sabine. With all the time in the universe before them, Sabine had found it easy to ask her the questions that had been eating at her for a while now.  Mostly around the ghosts they encountered on Malachor with Luke Skywalker.

She couldn’t see anything like the other two could, which only increased her need to know.  When she’d first asked, Ahsoka was enthusiastic to talk about them, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker.  She remembered Ezra talking about Obi-Wan a few times, especially when they were still deep into all that business with Maul.  Anakin was a name she only heard a few times. She knew he was Ahsoka’s master, and learned from Ezra and Kanan that he was the Jedi who became Darth Vader.

At the time, she wrote off the name of just another evil man who the galaxy was better off without, but the way Ahsoka talked about him had her second guessing that.  She spoke so highly of him, of his kindness, his selflessness, his desire to make the galaxy a better place. All things she wouldn’t attach to Darth Vader. But, she sounded so sincere and assured, looking off with a faraway stare as she recounted the man.  Clearly, she held him and Obi-Wan in very high respects. It didn’t make sense to her, but she wasn’t one to ignore Ahsoka’s judgement.

Outside of the talks and the stories, there wasn’t much to occupy her time with.  She cleaned her blaster maybe ten times during the first day. On the second day she made a few transmissions checking in on some people.  The ex-Imperials were doing fine, Hondo had stirred some trouble about the credits already but he was under control.

Hera and Jacen were off on a mission for Leia Organa and Mon Mothma, something about scanning outlier worlds for Imperial remnants.  She asked for a full update on Sabine’s progress, which of course, in terms of finding Ezra, there hadn’t been much. She also conveniently neglected to mention the Imperial remnants she herself had found, no need to trouble Hera with already handled business.

She connected with her family on Mandalore, things were going well to rebuild without Imperial presence, her father had an art gala coming up she would be missing, but Tristen had promised to send holos of his best works.  They asked her when she thought she’d be able to return home, and with a dejected sigh, she had to say she had no idea. Not even Ahsoka could piece together the total length of their journey with the Force.

Zeb and Kallus should have still been away to Lira San, so she didn’t even try to send them a holo, they were certainly busy, and maybe even too far away to even receive transmissions.  She also tried to get a hold of Rex, but he hadn’t responded so she simply left him a message.

She was able to get in contact with Ketsu easily.  The other woman was happy to hear from her that was for sure.  Since the end of the Empire, she was offered a job in the New Republic, to transport supplies and hunt down criminals or left over Imperials.  While she hadn’t seemed thrilled to be doing honest work, it was still work and she was good at it. They probably had the longest conversation of all the others she’s made that day, and when they finally said their goodbyes, she caught sight of a knowing smile on Ahsoka’s lips.  She was going to ask what that was about, but the woman went back to her meditation before she could.

On the third day, she had become so bored that she was actually writing up a mission report, as if this search for Ezra was a sanctioned mission from the New Republic.  There just was nothing better for her to do with her time. So a detailed write up of all the stops they made and what they accomplished at least kept her sane. Maybe she was just getting stir crazy without having anything to shoot at for a few days.

She’d just gotten to Malachor in her write up when the proximity sensors started going off, signaling the Purrgil had dropped once again.  She powered down the Hyperdrive, seeing the swirling blue freeze into pinpoints of starlight and a large green planet appear as all around them more Purrgil began dropping from hyperspace.  Ahsoka opened her eyes and shifted in her seat beside her, which was odd, usually she continued to meditate as they went from one jump to the next.

That wasn’t the only strange thing about what had become such a routine actions.  The Purrgil, which she was used to circling around each other before moving as a group to jump, were just lazily moving around in the space around them.  One cam up along their side, its eye peeking into their cockpit before it pulled away. Then one by one, they began making their way down to the planet below.

“What are they doing?”  She asked aloud, watching the giant creatures move farther away.  “Do they need more gas?” But this wasn’t a gaseous planet or a rich asteroid.  It seemed like a normal atmospheric planet teeming with plant life. She turned to look at Ahsoka, who was grinning at her.

“I can sense him Sabine.”  She said, as if she were reciting the weather, but the monotone words hit her full force like a kilo of bricks.  She felt her own blood freeze in her veins and breath stall. Sense Ezra? As in, he was here, below them, alive on the planet?

“He’s here?!”  She asked loudly, her voice wavering slightly with the eruption of emotions coming from her chest.  Ahsoka nodded slowly, looking back out the viewport at the world below.

“I can sense him, he is near, and rather eager.”  Ezra was here, so close, closer than he’s been in the last six years.  Just below them, waiting for her, alive, in one piece. It was finally time to take him home, for him to see what his sacrifice gave to all the people of Lothal.  This trip was almost over.

Feeling a lump catch in her throat, she remained silent, not trusting her voice, taking up the ships controls and wordlessly began descending towards the planet.  She needn’t even bother with sensor scanners or bio scans of the planet, if Ezra was alive down there, that’s all she needed to hear. Thankfully, Ahsoka didn’t seem at all bothered by her enthusiasm, but honestly, she had never had any problems with Sabine’s actions or emotions, more or less she seemed to go along with Sabine and only ever moved to steer her in the right direction than to hinder her.

They worked as a good team, she concluded.  A mix of their skills and expertise working off of each other to accomplish all that they had thus far.  They alone had left their own impact on the galaxy all to the end of bringing Ezra Bridger home. Indirectly, Ezra was still directing some more good in the universe.

The time it took to penetrate the planet’s atmosphere and reach a reasonable scanning altitude took far too long.  With how filled with excitement she was, feeling it light up the very blood in her veins, she found herself wanting to crash their ship if it meant reaching Ezra all that quicker.  Her breaths were shaky and heavy, her eyes darting every possible direction looking for any sight of him. For the first few minutes, all she could see was the spanse of bright green flora of the surface, the tall trees and grass side by side.  But soon, she caught sight of a crack through the treeline, where the trunks had been snapped or pushed aside, the crack only widening the farther it stretched on.

All of that culminated at the end of the treeline, where the resistance of the trees were finally enough to stop the momentum of what had caused so much destruction.  There was where they found it, Thrawn’s flagship, the last thing she saw before Ezra had disappeared. The ship that, should she close her eyes, she could still see wrapped up in the large tentacles of the many Purrgil that had come to Ezra’s aid.  The ship she feared had become Ezra’s tomb for so long until now.

And now she could see those fears were justified.  The large Imperial Star Destroyer was everything but demolished.  Crashed into the earth of this unknown planet, it certainly had taken a full and complete beating from the Purrgil as well as gravitational impact.  Crushed, dented, splintered and shattered. The plant life around it apparently had decided to take the wreckage for themselves, growing up its sides, through its holes and digging their roots deeply into the metal.

It was a wake up call if ever there was one.  If she were just a bystander to all of this, she’d doubt there were any survivors of such a cataclysmic crash.  If Ahsoka hadn’t confirmed Ezra’s survival, she would have had another wave of petrifying terror at finding Ezra’s corpse trapped within the durasteel walls of that Imperial terror.  But he was alive, she knew it in her heart, and Ahsoka knew it in the Force, she need only find him now.

Pulling herself away from the remnants of the Star Destroyer, she boosted forward to scan the surrounding area.  Surely, Ezra had to still be close, there doesn't seem any obvious reason as to why he’d travel beyond such an identifiable marker to his location.  Circling the wreck, as expected, she found what looked to be an encampment on the other side. Tents and structures made out of pieces and parts from the ship, and surprisingly, it was teeming with humans, walking around and out of the structures, gazing up at her.

Their approach wasn’t a quiet one, and Force knew when the last time they’d seen a functioning ship was. She could see them all coming together into a large group in what vaguely looked like the center of the camp, talking among themselves and pointing up at them.  What struck Sabine as odd, was that they weren’t very shocked or overjoyed to see them. Wouldn’t the thought of rescue send them into a frenzy?

In a moment, all those thoughts and confusion left her entirely, because from out of the group came Ezra.  Even at this distance she knew it to be him, she would know him no matter how much time or space divided them.

She couldn’t breath, all air halted in her throat, a light sweat braking across her flesh as her own heart beat against her chest like a raging ape.  He was right there, he really and truly was right there. She felt the faintly familiar feeling of stinging behind her eyes, tears threatening to fall just at the very sight of Ezra below on the ground.

The Jedi stepped out away from all the others to stand alone, looking right up at her.  Not at the ship, but her, eyes locked perfectly on her exact position, and smiled. He flashed a large goofy grin and waved his arm around widely as if she couldn’t see him, that her eyes weren’t glued to him.  Cursing him, she let out a choked laugh, feeling the hard fought back tears slip past her defenses. It was time to go home.

Taking one slow, shaky breath, she began the landing sequence almost on autopilot without a single thought.  Thankfully, it was an action done time after time, and she could actually do it with her eyes closed. There was a good sized area beside the forest bordering on the grassland she could set their shuttle down in, making the whole process much easier.

The ramp had barely touch the ground below them before Sabine was sprinting out of her chair, exiting the cockpit, and whizzing down out of the ship.  This could have been some strange mirage, and she would have opened the ship to the vacuum of space, but that wouldn’t have stopped her if Ezra was what she truly believed was out there.

She only stopped running when the blades of grass began catching on her belt, and she paused to scan the crowd again for Ezra.  He was right in front again, still smiling that toothy grin, hands on his hips as if he’d been getting just a bit tired of waiting on her.  She didn’t care, she had all the time in the universe to scold him or tease him now. She heard Ahsoka’s boots at the top of the ramp behind her, and she took off again.

Ezra waited there for her, dropping his arms from his hips, expecting all she planned to do.  She ran to him, a mix of fear, relief, joy, and utter elation driving her into his arms. Her brother in everything but blood, and she’d found him.

Impacting with the Jedi, who was much taller than she remembered him being, he only stumbled back two steps, and managed to catch her without falling.  She felt his arms come around her back, securing the idea that he really and truly was real and alive before her. That this all wasn’t some elaborate trick her troubled mind had been playing on her.  This was him.

“I knew I could count on you.”  He spoke into her ear, his voice exactly the same as she remembered it.  She tightened her arms around him, fighting back the tears that continued to fall down her face.

She hated crying, always felt it made her too vulnerable, too weak.  She knew that it was a healthy way to let out all the pent up emotions deep inside her, but it never made it easier, it was how she was raised as a Mandelorian.  Her method of coping was destruction or anger, only in extreme cases did she truly freely cry, and even then, it was either prefaced or followed by some form of violent expression.

“Ezra!”  She growled, bringing her arms up to his shoulders and ripping him from their embrace.  She gave him a sharp glare and his smile finally fell.

“Uh oh.”

“You’re damn right ‘uh oh’.  What were you thinking, why did you do that to all of us?!”  He looked away from her fiery stare sheepishly and rubbing the back of his neck.

“I said I had to see this to the end, and well, we’re at the end.”

“No, you could have jumped ship, took an escape pod, the shuttle you took there, anything!  Leave Thrawn and the Imperials to their own doom.” She paused, a realization dawning on her.  “Where is he?” She hissed looking across the crows of Imperials, none of whom she recognized, and absolutely none of which were the blue skinned, alien, Grand Admiral.

“Gone, he’s not here.”  She turned her eyes back to Ezra, narrowing them.

“What do you mean he’s gone?”  Did he mean dead, or that the man had actually left, and if he’d left did that mean the planet or their campsite?

“Yesterday, a man came for him, and took like twenty others with him.  He was taking Thrawn back home with him.”

“Eli Vanto?”  Eli had beat them here?  But he was just on Garel when she had gone back there to retrieve the ex-Imperials, how could he have gotten here a full day before her?  And what happened to their agreement, he promised to bring Ezra back if he found him, and as of yet, they didn’t even have a transmission from the man.

“Yeah him!  Wait, how do you know him?”

Ezra’s brows furrowed, and Sabine took that time to really get a look at him for the first time.  He was definitely taller, a bit more so than her, though thankfully not by too much. His face seemed to fill out more, he looked older, which was to be expected, his hair had grown back out to look more like it had when they’d first met.  Along with that, he was sporting some facial hair, just enough to cover his chin, it reminded her a lot of Kanan, which had to be intentional.

“I ran into him on Lothal, when he was looking around for information on Thrawn.  If he came through here, didn’t you notice my art I left on his shuttle?” Again, Ezra looked away embarrassed.

“Yeah see, um, I did but um…”

“It’s fine if you didn’t Ezra.”

“Oh good cause I didn’t!”  She rolled her eyes at him.  Yet still, it bothered her that Eli hadn’t followed through with his promise, she’d thought he was a good character, and she believed he would.

“I asked him to bring you back if he found you though.”  She sighed, feeling a spark of anger spur on a scowl.

“Oh he tried to, but I knew you were coming, so I stayed.”

“You...knew I was coming?  H-How?” And if Ezra said because of the Force she was going to-

“Through the Force.”  She grit her teeth and fought off the want to scream.  Of course, the Force was the center of literally everything.  She’d come to respect the Force since embarking on this journey, but that didn’t mean she was pleased having it command everything.  However, it was the only way they had found Ezra so she’d just have to be grateful.

“Wait.”  She perked up, a sudden thought coming to her.  “Thrawn got picked up by Eli, and you just let him go?  He’s a war criminal Ezra!” The Jedi raised his hands defensively as her voice raised.  She noticed a stir among the group behind him but none of them spoke up.

“He’s...not exactly who you think he is Sabine.”

“He’s the one who put your home on lock down and exterminated your friends for being rebels, Ezra!”

“That was more Pryce really…”

“You sacrificed yourself just to get him out of the picture!  He was evil!” He flinched and looked away, peering over his shoulder at the Imperials.

“It’s hard to explain right now but, I spent the last six years with him, I’d say I ended up knowing him pretty well.”

“You’re the same person who thought Hondo and Maul were good people.”  She had a point to make, which meant he didn’t need to know about Hondo and the ex-Imperials at the fuel refinery right now.

“But I didn’t spend six years trying to survive with them, just trust me Sabine.  He isn’t innocent of the things he did, but he isn’t as terrible as you think. I’ll explain later.”  There was a sense of desperation in his plea, and if she hadn't just rescued him from being stranded six years, she would have pushed harder.  She could drop it, for now, but she expected a better explanation later.

“Fine, but I’m holding you to that.”  She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Thank you.”  He gave her a tired smile, that did make her feel a little bad for pressing as hard as she did.  Still, she felt cheated that they weren’t able to provide Thrawn with a proper consequence, true justice for what he did to them and Lothal.  Though, taking a look around and seeing the state of all the survivors and their living conditions, maybe a six year exile from a modern galaxy was an intense punishment.

“I am pleased to see you again, Ezra.”  Sabine jumped hearing Ahsoka directly behind her, without having heard her approach.

“Ahsoka!  You helped Sabine find me?”  Ezra asked her. Sabine took a step back, to stand beside the two so they formed a triangle and she wasn’t directly in front of the Togruta.

“That, as well I had to keep my word to you.  You asked me to come find you when I escaped the World Between Worlds.  It took some time, but I have found you.” She gave him a smile, and slowly Ezra returned it.

“I guess I did say that.”  He chuckled.

“Alright, not that it isn't it great to see you and catch up, we can do all that on the ship.  I’d like to get back to Lothal as quickly as possible.” She interjected, pointing back to their shuttle, trying not to meet the eyes of the expectant Imperials that still stood behind Ezra.

“Yeah, about that...I know you’re the one saving me and all that but, I have a favor to ask.”  He looked away, unable to meet her own eyes, and she narrowed them at him.

“What kind of favor?”  He turned to look back at the Imperials again, and Sabine knew she wasn’t going to like the answer.

“They need to be rescued too Sabine, the New Republic could get them all out just by sending one cargo ship.”

“No, Ezra no, they’re Imperials they-”

“They’re just people who want to live normal lives again, Sabine.”  She glared up at him then over to the group. His words echoed in her head, sounding so familiar, words she’d heard very recently, but where?  Flint! The Stormtrooper from Alderaan she and Ahsoka had found on Atollon, he had said almost the exact same thing to her when pleading his own case for help.  She looked over the crowd of people trapped here for the last six years, who were abandoned by their government, no rescue team ever having been sent for them. What made them any different from Flint, Tyna, Tex, and Needo?

Her gaze softened, and she felt herself flush with shame.  They were the same, and what sort of hypocrite would she make herself by helping those four and not these several?  She may not like them, and they might not like her, but they were still people, people who made poor choices, some terrible, but they’d faced their punishment.  And if Ezra judged them to be good enough to deserve mercy, then she’d give it to them, if for no one else but him.

“You’re right.”  She conceded with a nod, which seemed to surprise Ezra.

“I-I am?”  He stammered.

“Yes, if you think so, then they deserve a second chance.  We don’t have any space to accommodate really any more passengers for the trip back to charted space, but we can send out a message before leaving and secure their rescue.”  Ezra gave her a smile that bordered on him looking proud of her, which she absolutely would not stand for, but thankfully he didn’t say that.

“Thanks Sabine!  That’s all I need.”

“Then get your stuff, if you have any.  I’ll go make the call right now.”

“Roger that!”  He gave her a mock salute and turned, hurrying through the crowd that parted for him.  As she watched him go, her arm flinched, as if to stop him, a part of her heart scared that he would disappear on her again, but she stomped it down.  Ezra wasn’t leaving, not again, he was coming home.

“I will go with him.”  Ahsoka said, laying a hand on her shoulder, as if she read her fears, and maybe she did.  She gave the woman a nod and watched her go after him. Once both were out of sight, she only lingered a few more seconds before boarding the shuttle again to make an odd call.

“Is that my art?”  Sabine asked minutes later when Ezra stomped up onto the shuttle, a pack on his back and a stone slab in his arms.  He looked down at it and back to her sheepishly.

“Um, yeah actually.  It was the only thing I could salvage from Thrawn’s office, so I kept it with me to remember you and everyone.”  He smiled, eyes looking far off at something far, far away in his mind. Sabine felt her own heart begin to beat heavier in her chest.  Ezra kept a piece of her art to have something, anything to remember her by? It was so unapologetically sweet, and so weirdly Ezra, which only stood to remind her how much she truly did love her brother from different blood.

“Don’t let Zeb or Chopper hear you say that, they’ll never let you live it down.”  She teased before turning away, fearing too much of what she was feeling would show on her face.  She heard him move around behind her, setting his stuff on the ground against the wall and stretching out his back.  When suddenly, she felt his arms draped over her shoulders in a hug from behind the chair. She froze in the embrace, Ezra’s forehead coming to rest against her shoulder.

“I love you Sabine, I couldn’t have asked for better family.”  He spoke so quietly, sounding far more serious than she’d ever heard home before.  As well, the words themselves weighed heavily on her, the impact not lost on her. Letting them sink in, she slowly began to relax, bringing a hand up to rest over his arm.

“I love you too Ezra, you’re my favorite brother from Lothal.”  He pulled back to give her a look.

“I’m the only one from Lothal!”

“Yeah, that makes you the favorite!”  They matched glares before both of them fell into grins.

“I missed you.”  He chuckled with a shake of his head.

“Right back at you.  You’ve missed a lot Ezra, thankfully, we have a long trip back to Lothal.”  He released her completely, moving over and plopping himself down in the copilot’s chair.

“I like story time.”  He groaned, stretching out in the chair as best he could.

“I’ve spoken with the survivors, they are informed that rescue is on the way.”  Ahsoka’s voice came up from behind them, taking a seat in the chair behind Ezra.  “We are ready to leave whenever we please.” That’s what Sabine liked to hear. All these days searching for him, all the years without him, and it was finally over.  They could go home, Ezra could finally be home after everything, see his family again, meet his new family, the end was finally here.

“Finally, then we can be on our way.  But first, I think I have one more important call to make.”  Ezra and Ahsoka shared a look, neither seeming confused, no doubt either expecting this one or using the Force to see what it would be.  Ignoring them, however, she powered up the long range transmitter and keying a frequency she’d used recently.

It did not take time for the signal to establish and for the person on the other end to answer.  Their form materialized before her, of a Twi’lek woman, arms crossed, a warm smile on her lips. She met Sabine’s eyes and her face seemed to light up even more.

“Hera,” she began, matching Hera’s smile, “I found him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the stories have converged, everyone is reunited, we are so close to the end! One chapter and then the Epilogue folks, just two more weeks and Destination Zero will be over! I hope you're all still enjoying the ride, I'll see you next week!
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	29. Chapter Seventeen - Thrawn - Home

Saying goodbye to Ezra had been somewhat an emotional farewell.  Saying goodbye to Karyn Faro, the woman who had so dedicatedly been loyal to him and at his side since first he acquired the Chimaera had been an ordeal.  He took such great care to know and cherish every member of his crew, to know them, their skills, their faults, and gain their loyalty was important to a healthy and effective ship.  Somewhere along all that, he’d grown somewhat attached to them all, but to Faro specifically. Aside from Eli, she was his closest friend, dare he say it. And now, they had parted ways for good, left to her own devices along with all the other crew members they’d taken along with them.

A few had cried, Thrawn himself shed no tears on their behalf, though he did feel the loss of them deep in his chest.  He was pleased to be cleaned and slightly more proper to say goodbye to them all, leave them with a positive image of their old commanding officer.  Faro had lingered the longest when being sent away, her eyes wet but her cheeks dry, he could respect her restraint. The hug, while unexpected, was not unwelcomed.  She was one of a very few that he felt could follow in his footsteps, a natural leader with his full respect. She was intelligent, and he only hoped she found her new calling in this post Imperial galaxy.

Eli had allowed him his privacy to address his crew and with them all farewell, before joining to say his own proper goodbye.  Then left again when only he and Faro remained. Now they were all gone, and he returned to the shuttle alone, but into the open arms of Eli and Jessa.

The girl was certainly not expected to have been accompanying Eli.  Never in the years he’d known the man had he shown any interest in children or becoming a father.  However, years had past, and what happened to Eli in the Ascendancy was still a mystery to him. Judging by the doll, and the tired weight the man seemed to walk with, something had occurred to deeply disturb him.  With all of the people around, it was no place to discuss such private matters, but he would know.

After they had been alone, Eli seemed too tired, and Thrawn too emotionally raw for such intensive talks, and he welcomed the ability to rest more comfortably.  Eli had stretched across the seats of the main hold, leaving room for Thrawn to lay beside him. He’d put Jessa down in the cot. The girl had gone down easy, and the Chiss doll hadn’t left her side since Thrawn had seen her.

Gladly, Thrawn laid with Eli, pulling the Human close into his arms, smiling as Eli buried his face into his neck.  It did not take long for him to fall asleep, he was stretched thin, and needed proper rest desperately. Thrawn was slower to join him, just wanting to enjoy the feel of Eli’s warmth against him, the rise and fall of his chest, and watching his face relax in his sleep.  He still felt as if all of this would disappear on him in an instant, that he truly didn’t deserve such a paradise. But, having Eli in the flesh beside him did make it easier to fall asleep than the still blue holo he’d had the past six years.

He was roused again some time later by the soft pitter of footsteps approaching.  He waited until the feet stopped beside them, and he felt tiny hands grab at his calves.  It was Jessa, who, since picking up the crew of the Chimaera and himself, hadn’t been able to sleep an entire rest period without Eli.  He felt her try and heft herself over him to get to Eli quietly, without success.

He smiled to himself, finding the actions of the small Human girl very endearing.  He lifted his legs for her, allowing her to climb onto the seats and crawl up between the two of them.  Though he didn’t want to let go of Eli, he would do so for her, and made a gap for her to nuzzle into between the two of them.  She looked over at him, staring into his eyes, and signed a ‘thank you’ to him, before making herself comfortable against Eli.

After she’d fallen asleep again, Thrawn slowly joined her, holding them both close to him.  When he woke again, it was on his own. Eli and Jessa still were fast asleep with no signs of waking, and for a few minutes he just remained relaxed, enjoying the feeling and the sight of Eli and his child in his arms, safe, and secure.  Unfortunately, he was never good with laying long when his body was awake. Luckily, as he slept, Eli had turned on his back, Jessa now resting across his chest, which made it easy for him to pull away from without disturbing them.

Once he’d pulled away and stood up, he brushed a hand through Eli’s hair gently, as if a silent apology for leaving him.  Eli and Jessa did not stir, however Eli did not appear completely comfortable laying out on the stiff chairs. He turned eyeing the now vacant cot behind him.  It wasn’t the most comfortable, but would be much preferable to laying across seats. Running the probability of him being able to transfer Eli and Jessa to the cot without waking them, he deemed the odds good enough and moved to scoop them up.

He got an arm under Eli’s legs first, and pulling it up a bit, then sliding the other arm under the man’s back.  Eli stirred a little bit, though only to end up aiding him by turning towards Thrawn’s chest, nuzzling slightly before stilling again.  A small smile on his lips, Thrawn lifted Eli up, Jessa cradled against his chest coming up with him, lifting the man and girl easily. He was well in shape, always kept himself in shape while with the Chiss and in the Empire, but after crashing on the planet he’d been on for the last six years, being in shape was a byproduct of his necessary daily tasks.

Eli wasn’t light by any means, he was of average height and Thrawn could feel toned muscles lying under his clothes, but Thrawn was more than able of picking him and Jessa up with ease.  Making sure they were secure in his arms, he walked quietly across the floor and stopping before the cot. He laid them down gently, neither stirring again at the transfer and slept on.

He was about to pull away when his gaze caught sight of the necklace around Eli’s neck again, the bonding crystal glinting in the artificial light.  Eli had said that he’d already left his message in the crystal around Thrawn’s own neck, but Thrawn had yet to listen to it or leave Eli his own message.  Mind made up, he detached the crystal from Eli’s necklace and slipped away silently.

Certainly, Eli must have recorded his message on board this shuttle, meaning he could just the same watch the message.  He made sure to close the door to the cockpit behind him and took a seat in the pilot’s chair. Before him, the ship still sped through the swift moving expanse of hyperspace, and should be doing that for the next few days on their way towards Lysatra.  Eli had said he wanted to see his parents again before they made for the Ascendancy, but it would still take nine days to cross the galaxy.

Turning his attention down to the console, he powered up the holorecorder.  It had been awhile since he’s had to operate one, but he found the memories coming back to him easily.  He opened the tray, looking over his crystal one final time before placing it inside. The machine chugged for a few seconds, trying to read the data on the foreign crystal before the projector came alive, and Eli’s image displayed before him.  He only wished he had Chiss technology, to see Eli’s image more stable without the shaky haze of Imperial holos.

_ “Greetings from Mitth’eli’vanto, to Mitth’raw’nuruodo.” _   Eli’s holo spoke in Cheunh, Thrawn could still hear his Wild Space accent coming through in his native language.  But more importantly, was how Eli introduced himself. Mitth’eli’vanto, was that his new name in Chiss eyes, his official welcome into the Eighth Ruling family?  Thrawn felt his chest clench and a shaky smile come to his lips. That made it all suddenly more real, tangible in his mind. He and Eli truly were bonded by Chiss standards.

_ “We have known each other for seven years, and you have placed your biggest secrets and utmost trust within me, neither do I take for granted, I cherish both greatly.  While away, I have learned even more of you and your past through your people. A Sky-Walker, blessed, or rather cursed I should say, with Third Sight, an orphan with only a brother to call blood kin.  But your gift allowed you both to be adopted into the Eighth Ruling family, leading to my own entrance into the Mitth family. A sad and lonely boy who grew to be a stoic, lonely, genius.” _

Thrawn’s smile fell, a sudden impulse to school his features coming over him.  While it was true that his upbringing was not a pleasant one, he wished only that Eli had not heard of his own hardships, he did not need to suffer with that information.

_ “And that genius came barreling into my life, turning it all around like a well calculated tornado.  I was not happy when it happened, but it stands to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. You took my career that was meant to be boring and fade into obscurity, and took me on the wildest adventure of my entire life.  Chasing down pirates, smugglers, dodging court martial, and fighting side by side against everyone who tried to take us down. And at the end of it all, you sent me away, to learn, grow, and aid your people further, another adventure, only you were no longer there by my side.” _

Eli’s face fell a fraction, a frown tugging at his lips before he pulled all of his features back together.  He smiled sadly, looking directly into Thrawn’s eyes as if he was right there, watching intently.

_ “But it was okay, I went willingly and excitedly to your people, under your direction.  I wanted to do you right, the Chiss right, and myself right. I was happy there, it was a rough time adjusting, and I did adjust to it.  But when I left to join them, I left with a single regret. That I was never honest with you, Mitth’raw’nuruodo, Thrawn.” _

He paused, taking a deep breath, preparing to say something Thrawn suspected he had never said aloud, even to himself.

_ “I love you, had for some time, maybe I didn’t fully understand it at the time, but I knew I felt more for you than a coworker, more than a friend.  And I never said anything, because unlike Chiss, Humans are insecure, unsure of themselves and their feelings. So I loved you, and I kept quiet about it, and I wish that I had said something, because after I left, I lost you.  Six years you were missing and I had no idea what had happened, where you’d gone, and uncertain if I’d ever see you again...I’m still not. If I find you, I want this to be immortalized so that, whether you reciprocate my feelings or not, you know this to be absolute truth.  I love you Thrawn, with every part of my heart available, it’s all dedicated to you. There is space in my heart for my family, for two girls who have greatly impacted my life, but the rest, it is all yours.” _

Eli blinked rapidly fighting off threatening tears yet still smiling into the recorder, into Thrawn’s soul.

_ “You told me once that we would see each other again before our lights extinguished, and I really hope you were right about that, because I’m coming for you Thrawn, you better be there when I get there.” _

He was about to say something else, his mouth opened to continue, only to be cut off.  He closed his mouth and turned around as someone else came into the cockpit. Eli smiled wide seeing whoever it was out of sight of the recorder.

_ “What are you doing up?” _   Eli laughed, leaning down and picking said someone up and depositing them into his lap.  As expected it was Jessa, the girl cradling a doll to her chest and smiling wide up at Eli.

_ “I woke up and you were gone, what are you doing?” _   The girl asked, looking into the recorder.

_ “Just leaving a message for someone very important to me.” _   Jessa smiled into the recorder and giving it a big wave.

_ “Hello!” _   Eli pulled her back against his chest, giving her a tight hug.

_ “I can’t wait for you to meet Jessa as well, this got a little derailed but, so does everything when you’re concerned.  Goodbye, I love you.” _

Thrawn watched as Eli leaned forward, and the image flickered out, the message coming to an end.  In the silence, Thrawn stared where the holo had been. Love, family, trust, rescue. Eli has offered and given him so much, and deserve nothing less than the universe itself in Thrawn’s eyes.  Eli has offered his heart to him, and was unsure if Thrawn would even accept it.

Quickly, he removed the crystal from the holoprojector, placing it back on his necklace.  Then taking the crystal he’d taken from Eli’s, he set it in the tray and changing the projector to record.  He watched the indicator light blink on and the machine came to life, and he was recording. Keeping his face stoic as always, he sat up straight, faced the projector directly and began in Basic.

“Eli Nerero Vanto, of every person across your part of the galaxy and mine that I have met, you are the one who has remained the most constant.  From accuaintenses, to allies, to friends, my time within the xenophobic Empire was made all the more bearable knowing I had you and your loyalty at my side.”  He paused, knowing that the extent of his next words were of the most importance. “And beyond my time in the Empire have you supported me. Though worlds away, your memory kept my spirit strong.  While you suffered not knowing my fate, I held onto your smile, your promise, both I used to continue on into the next day, then the next.”

He shifted slightly in his seat, placing a hand over his chest where his necklace rested, Eli’s message rested against his heart.  He looked off for a moment, his brain getting caught up in thought, remembering the long lonely nights with only Eli’s smile to ease him to rest.  He focused back on the recorder and took a breath to continue.

“As I am sure you know, Chiss equivalent of Human marriage is bonding.  You must have been informed of the basics of this concept before agreeing to embark on this one, such as that a bond is eternal, no Chiss may rebond regardless of any circumstances, know that you have not stolen my one and only bond from me, because for some time, you already had it in your hands.  No matter what may have happened to me, to you, should another claim your heart for their own, I have no one else in the universe living nor dead of whom I’d give my bond to. For me, it would only ever be you, no one could ever amount to you.”

He smiled softly, bowing his head slightly his hair that had been behind his shoulder falling forward as he did.  This all was the truth, before even asking Eli to leave to his people on his behest, Thrawn knew that Eli could be the only being that would ever hold his heart.  Should Eli have rejected it, die, disappear, it didn’t matter to Thrawn, as far as he was concerned, Eli left with his heart, and he wouldn’t dare give it to another.

“You are insurmountably intelligent, able to plan and predict better than any Human I have seen, your brain is quick, mathematical, sharp.  You have a warrior's spirit, you have boundless courage, and the will to never give in. As well you never stop striving to the top. Even when you face victory, you know there is still more you could learn, more to master, more to improve.  You are willing and eager to learn, making your character utterly unique and beautiful.”

Eli had come to him, and Thrawn had seen the underlying skills within him.  How he’d ask questions no one else was asking, notice things no one else would notice.  Knew things no one else would and picked up on Thrawn’s thinking quicker than anyone else.  Eli was different, and Thrawn knew he had the making of great potential within him, and he’d cultivated it, wanting to see Eli become the best he could possibly be, be as happy as he could possibly be, do the most good that he possibly could.  Even from the beginning, Thrawn only ever wanted to see Eli succeed.

“Your character, astounding, your smile awe inspiring, your loyalty, commendable.  I could have pictured no better man to have beside me, to watch rise up and grow stronger, to assist my people as if they were your own.  Above all your attributes, what I honor the most, is your compassion, your empathy. To see people as people, to want to save all that you can, to understand your enemy.  Those I found in you, I need not help those along at all, they are simply you.”

He gave the recorder a deep bow, keeping his right hand over his heart, like a pledge, a swear of validity.  As he leaned back up, he continued a smile, dropping all of his stoicism, because for Eli, he deserved to see and know every little secret within him and his mind.  He had more than earned that right.

“I love you Eli, you once held my words in your hands, now you hold my heart.  Do with it as you please, but no matter what happens, what time may pass, what sufferings, what pains, what joys, what strife, you will always have my heart, and I hope to always hold yours, Mitth’eli’vanto.”

He switched off the recorder, staring into the dimmed projector, wondering if he should rewatch his message, but thought better of it.  Eli spoke his in one attempt, all the jittering, the interruptions, because it was at its core as purely Eli as it could be. So Eli deserved what was purely Thrawn.

Taking the crystal from the projector, Thrawn successfully made it back to where Eli and Jessa slept, returning the crystal back to its resting place one Eli’s neck.  Neither he nor Jessa had stirred since he had been away, he smiled down at them, still finding it hard to fully get used to the idea that Eli, his love from worlds away was truly his husband, and by extension, that made Jessa his daughter.  Two things he never thought he would have in his life, but now that he did, he knew he’d fight until his dying breath to keep them.

It was clear that it would be some time before Eli or Jessa would awake, Thrawn returned back to the cockpit to allow them their rest.  For when Eli awoke, they would have many things to discuss, pertaining to the Chiss doll, the pain he could see deep in Eli’s eyes, of Thrawn’s time in exile, of his discovery regarding his Third Sight.  So for now, they needed to sleep. This did not mean however that Thrawn had nothing else to bide his time. In all the chaos of the three days transporting his crew to safety, he knew there was only one person left to hear the news of his rescue.

Keying the frequency wasn’t hard, he had them memorized and would never be able to forget it, even if he wanted to.  And, as shown in the logs, it was the most recently commed person behind Eli’s own parents.

The delay was evident as the transmitter attempted to establish a connection across such distance, but as soon as the channel was secure, the call was answered without another moment's hesitation.  The figure fizzled into existence before him, a face he knew well, that showed little signs of aging despite the many years since he’d laid eyes on it.

“ _ Hello Thrass. _ ”

* * *

 

Ezra really couldn’t remember the last time he felt so anxious and nervous.  He could guess, maybe the time in his life where he was unsure of his parents fate, Hera’s capture, any time where there were uncertainties really.  Maybe that's why it was so hard to pinpoint when that had been last, it was so common place during the time in the Rebellion that it wasn’t worthy to catalog in his mind.  Now, however, he felt so anxious he was shaking.

The three days travel back to Lothal did nothing to prepare him for the inevitable realization that everyone, all the people he’d left behind to save, he’d be seeing again.  And despite waiting six years for this very moment, he didn’t feel ready. But maybe he just never would feel ready.

As soon as they dropped from hyperspace before Lothal, all those anxieties were forgotten for the moment.  To see his world, his home, once again was enough to shock him speechless. But what truly stole his breath was seeing how healthy the planet looked.  The seas were a brilliant blue, the clouds were pure and white again, and the land was no longer scorched nearly black. The last time he’d seen his world, it looked like it was dying, now, it was more than thriving.

Sabine gave him some look as they steered closer, proud, happy maybe.  She was the one who had worked hard to bring Ezra right to this exact spot.  To see his world, to see the outcome of his sacrifice. And he was not disappointed.  The urge to cry came over him, pure joy for his world making his emotions rising high already, but he had little problem pulling back the tears.  He simply smiled, taking in every single part of the large sphere he could as they began to make for the atmosphere.

If he thought the planet looked beautiful from orbit, seeing the terrain as they got even closer made it look completely stunning.  Spanning grasslands, thriving and healthy, untouched mountains stretching up into the blue sky, everything looked like it used to, before things changed, before the Empire ruined everything, when his parents and he would still go out to walk through nature.

It was perfect.  They continued, flying low over the countryside so that he could admire the view while they made for what he believed was Capital City by the sea.  And while the natural beauty was breathtaking, seeing a glowing white city on the coastline growing, and free was awe inspiring. Capital City looked even better than he had remembered it before the Empire had taken over completely.  He had watched over the city for years, watching it shrivel and weaken as it was overgrown with Imperials and their suffocating warmachines. And now, now it had fully broken the shackles. The Dome, like a leech, had taken the life from the city, and without it, it’s grown back twice as strong.  The heart of his home, this was all real, his sacrifice had been worth it.

They came close to the city, close enough he could look between the spire-like buildings, and see the bustle of the people within, happy and alive, before Sabine sharply turned away and heading out into the plains.  He thought they would have landed in the city to meet with the others, but as they moved on a very specific and familiar path, he realized their true destination. His old comm tower, what had been his home for so long, it was the only thing out there he believed they’d have any reason to visit.

Following the recurring theme of everything being better than he’d left it, his tower was no exception.  Even when he had holed up in there after his parents arrest, it was old, rundown, falling apart. Now, however, it was glistening, a polished statue among all the untamed grass.  Like a beacon in the wild, a diamond in the rough. They’d restored his tower for him. The smile that had never left his lips since coming out of hyperspace grew larger, and the urge to hold Sabine and thank her caused him a twitch, but he held back this as well, she was still flying after all.

As they approached, he spotted in the grass figures coming into view.  While he couldn’t see from here, he already knew who they’d be. Which only served to make his nervousness return.  It had been so long, he’s changed, have they, how much, how little? All these thoughts running through his head, his smile was still on his face, but it faltered slightly, maybe reflecting his inner nerves.

The time was finally before them, as Sabine began landing the ship, he tried to calm his beating heart and his sweaty palms, but he felt there wasn’t much helping that.  The small shake the ship made as it touched down shook Ezra right down to the core. He was home, his family waited for him outside, his mission was finally over.

Sabine jostled him from his thoughts with a firm hand on his shoulder.  She gave him a smile, a small shake, and a squeeze. Ahsoka came to stand at his other side, giving him her own reassuring smile.  His inner worries must have been plainly evident if they’d seen through him. He returned their smiles with his own shaky one. His emotions were battling each other, his excitement against his anxieties.  He wanted to see his family again, but it had been so long.

“Are you ready Ezra?”  Sabine asked him, pulling him out of his thoughts again.  No matter how his chest burst with his conflicting feelings, there was only one way to deal with them, and that would be to walk off this ship into the arms of his welcoming party.  He wasn’t ready, but it was finally time.

“Yeah, I’m ready.”  He said to her, giving a nod and turning to look at Ahsoka.  Both women beamed, and the march began. Sabine taking point, almost dragging him along by his shoulder, and Ahsoka trailing behind, the occasional tap of her staff on the ground echoing through the small ship.

The ramp descended slowly, bit by bit, letting in the Lothal sunlight through.  Squinting at the brightness, he saw the grass, smelled the fresh scent of the Lothal grasslands, and he smiled again.  He missed his home. Once the ramp had descended, they continued forward. Sabine released him, and he continued to follow her, almost on autopilot.  This was the moment of truth, to face his friends and family again after six whole years.

Of the group before him, he saw Hera first.  The woman standing proud, radiant, a look of worry marring her beautiful features, but it was a face he knew well, a woman who had given him so much when he had nothing.  A second mother to him in everything but name. He caught her eyes the second she spotted him, watched them widen and they simply stared at each other for a few moments. Until her face twitched and scrunched up, a grin spanning across her face as her eyes squinted as they filled with unshed tears.

“Ezra!”  She cried, running to him.  He just barely made it to the bottom of the ramp when she reached him, throwing her arms around him and pulling him down into a tight embrace.  She was smaller than him, much more so now than when he’d left, so much so that he had to bend over a little bit to reach her.

“H-Hi, Hera.”  He responded, returning the hug enthusiastically.

“You’ve gotten so big, your voice is deeper, oh we’ve missed you so much.  We have so much to tell you, about the Empire, about Lothal.” She pulled back holding him at arm's length, still holding tightly to his forearms.  “We were all so worried, next time I tell you to ‘get out of there’ you listen!”

She gave him a stern look, the one that screamed agree with me or else, but it fell, no fire to back it up, the first tear that had gathered in her eyes fell down her cheek.  Ezra smiled at her, and pulled her back into his arms, he needed another hug too.

“I promise to never use a bunch of Purrgil to rocket off into the Unknown Regions with a blue Grand Admiral.”  Hera tensed in his arms and heard her mutter something along the lines of ‘smartass’ under her breath. Suddenly, Hera pulled away again, grabbing Ezra’s face in her hands and twisting his head to look at it from every angle.

“Thrawn.”  She hissed.  “What happened, did he do anything to you, I swear if he did I don’t care if he is dead, I’ll bring him back just to do it myself!”

“Hera, Hera.”  He soothed, grabbing her wrists and gently prying her hands away.  “I’m fine, he didn’t do anything, he actually kinda helped me.”

When Ezra had first met Hera, he honestly thought there was nothing she didn’t know.  She seemed so knowledgeable and knew exactly what to say or do. Even when it came to the Force, he felt she knew what was best and would try and push Kanan in the right direction when he was training him.  So the look of absolute unfiltered confusion on Hera’s face made it clear she did not at all understand what Ezra just said, and the look scared him a little.

“Thrawn, helped you?”  She raised her brow at him, clearly not impressed.

“Uh, yeah he did...look I’ll tell you later, promise, I just got back.”  He looked away sheepishly, no person, no matter how strong, could survive long under Hera’s intense gaze.  Thankfully, she relaxed, a tired smile taking over the sharp features of her inquisitorial looks.

"You're right I'm sorry, that can come later.  I'm just so excited to have you home."

Home, Lothal, Sabine, Hera, the Ghost, they all were his Home.  And he was bursting with excitement to finally, finally, after all these long, long years, have his Home back.  No more fighting to survive, no longer surrounded by a hundred people of whom he wanted to protect, no more conflict, fear, anger, he was Home.  Only calming love and belonging waited for him now.

"Welcome back Ezra."  He looked up from Hera hearing a deep, familiar voice, and smiled watching as Rex came up beside them.  "You did good kid, you saved us that day." He grabbed his shoulder, giving it a firm shake.

"Thanks Rex, I did it for Lothal and all of you, and I'd do it again in an instant."

"Please don't, but we did make sure things here stayed safe."  Sabine spoke up, taking a few steps closer.

"Sabine should take the most credit for that."  Hera smiled at the younger woman. "She stayed here, rarely left even to help the Rebellion, she stayed here to watch over your Home until you got back."

He turned to look at her, who, in her classic Mandelorian way, was looking off mildly embarrassed to admit the truth.  Being open and honest about feelings wasn't exactly a Mandelorian specialty, he knew. So he just smiled.

"Thank you Sabine, thanks all of you.  Without you, my world may never had been free, all this is owed to you."  Something ran into his leg, and looking down he found Chopper, the stout little orange Droid tugging at his tattered pants.  "Yes even you Chopper." He warbled a full of himself response and wheeled away. At least he was still exactly the same.

"And you Ezra, without you, all of this would have been for nothing."  Rex said, giving his shoulder a tight squeeze again.

"This isn't much of a welcome party," Hera sighed looking around at them all, "but once Zeb and Kallus come back, we'll really celebrate."  At the moment, there was just Hera, Chopper, Rex, Jai Kell, and Ryder Azadi. The latter two waiting off to the side, knowing that this reunion needed it's time.  It was small, but return had been short notice, and really he needed a bit of time with close friends and family at the moment, he'd spent the last six years in a large group of practical strangers.

"Hera, this is perfect.  I missed everyone so much, I'm just happy to be back, I can see everyone when they're around for now, I'm just happy to see all familiar faces."

He looked back down at Hera and scrunched up his eyebrows.  She looked a little sheepish, like there was something she knew he didn't.  But rather than say anything, she just looked down behind her. He followed her gaze, behind her legs he saw Chopper on her left side, and on her right side, he saw tiny hands holding tightly onto the fabric of her pants.

"Not all the faces are familiar."  She chuckled. Then, pulling away, she places a hand down on whatever the hands were from, giving it an encouraging nudge.  Slowly, the hands tightened and from around Hera's legs, peered out a small head of a young child with green hair and pointed ears.

A kid, a little boy, with green hair, pointed ears, and wide blue eyes.  Why was there a green haired kid here, clinging to Hera like she was his mother...no, no way, there was no way that this kid was...  He looked up at Hera, who smiled and nodded slowly. This was, this actually was Hera’s…

“You have a kid?!”  He gasped just shy of a shout.  He leaned closer, trying to get a good look at him, and the kid leaned farther out from behind Hera to do the same.

“I do, he’s going to turn six here soon.”  She stepped to the side, and pushed the boy in front of her, so he could get a full look at him.  He seemed reluctant to step in front of Hera, but he didn’t look like he was shy. “Ezra, this is Jacen, he is mine and Kanan’s son.”

“Kanan?  You and Kanan had a...but you…”  Hera and Kanan’s? Hera and Kanan had a kid, Hera had a kid while he was gone?  A kid who was almost six years old now, that he had no idea about.

“You’re Ezra?”  The kid, Jacen, spoke this time on his own, looking a bit more confident now.

“Um, yeah, that’s me.  Ezra Bridger, in the flesh!”  He gestured to himself and mentally flinched realizing he didn’t exactly look that great in old tattered clothes, ratty hair, and poorly shaven face.  Despite all that, Jacen still smiled wide at him.

“Mama told me lots about you and daddy!  Did you really get a bunch of Purrgil to listen to you?”  His eyes almost lit up in excitement.

“I really did, that’s how I got all the bad guys in their ships.”

“Whoa, you were right mama, he really did!”  He turned around, jumping up and down looking up at Hera.  “Mama said you’re like my big brother, like how Bean is my big sister!”

“Bean?”  He looked over at Sabine.

“He had issues with Sabine when he was learning to talk, so he started calling me Bean.”  She supplied. It was a cute nickname, but he knew if he tried calling her that, rescue be damned she’d kill him.

“Wait, big brother?”  He turned back to look up at Hera.

“We operated like a family, as I saw it, you two are as much my children as Jacen.  So by that, you’re his older brother.”

He looked at Jacen, the boy looked back with a wide smile.  A little brother. He had been an only child with his birth parents, and while he saw Sabine and Zeb as siblings, he was the youngest of them all.  But now, there was Jacen, a young boy who literally had to look up at him. Someone he could help lead in the world. Like Kanan had for him.

“It’s good to meet you Jacen.”  He said, kneeling down to be level with the boy.  He could see it in his face, soft reminders of Kanan, but his eyes, in them he really saw him, could tell in his heart that this boy was Kanan’s child.  The boy’s smile fell a little, looking worried and maybe even sympathetic. It was then that Ezra realized that he had begun to cry.

He was among his family, welcomed back with open arms and warm hearts.  To a new face who excitedly met him with the same enthusiasm, and reminded him of the one person who was no longer here, but he wanted here most, and he knew that sentiment was shared among all those here.

“Why are you crying?”  Jacen asked softly, reaching a small hand to touch at his prickly cheek, catching tears against his tiny fingers.

“I-I’m just happy to be home…”  It came out in a rush that was almost a sob, more tears flowing freely down his face.  Jacen took two steps closer and wrapped his arms around his neck and resting his chin on his shoulder.  He returned the hug, drawing the boy, his brother, Kanan and Hera’s son, closer to his chest.

The tears came faster now, more frequently, and he gave Jacen a slight squeeze.  A hand touched his shoulder, and he looked up at Hera who smiled gently down on him.  Slowly, he stood, holding Jacen who didn’t seem to want to let go, and once he was standing, Hera added herself to the hug, then Sabine followed on his other side.  They held him tightly, a physical reminder that they were here, and that they cared about him.

At his side, he again felt Chopper run into his leg.  The droid warbled softly to himself, knocked the top of his head against him twice, then rested it there.  The closest thing to a hug he’d probably ever get out of him. Behind him, he felt Rex grab his shoulder again, then Ahsoka at his other shoulder, from the side Jai and Ryder had come forward, giving him their own smiles.  They all cared so much, missed him as much as he missed them, making sure he knew he was wanted and loved here. The tears cascaded down his cheeks, tickling the underside of his chin and getting caught in his chin hairs, and they weren’t stopping any time soon.

“Welcome home Ezra.”  He couldn’t hear who said it, but it didn’t matter, because he knew they all felt the same way.  They were glad to have him back, and he was glad to be back.

* * *

 

Thrawn could count on his hand how many time he’d witnessed his brother cry.  Most of those having been when they were younger, fighting to survive the harsh world on their own before being adopted into the Eighth Ruling Family.  So seeing Thrass, a fully grown Chiss Syndic cry, was shocking.

When Thrass fully registered what he was seeing, Thrawn who had been missing for the last six years, there was only a second of silence before the other Chiss began to break into tears.  Slow at first, a few falling from his face as if he didn’t realize they were coming, then exponentially they increased and he heard a choked sob come from his brother.

“Thrawn?”  He questioned, looking scared, scared that this might be some cruel joke, a false image to break him.

“ _ It is me, brother. _ ”  He assured him in Cheunh, and Thrass took in a sharp, shaky breath.

“ _ I was so worried, worried that you had died, or would be lost forever I… _ ”

“ _ It’s okay Thrass, I am alive, and safe, so is Eli. _ ”  The Syndic nodded, pulling a cloth from his pocket and doing his best to clean the tears from his face.

“ _ I do not know what has come over me, I didn’t even try to keep my emotions in check. _ ”  Thrawn smiled, doing his best not to chuckle.

“ _ You believed me dead, and are relieved that I am not. _ ”

“ _ Relieved is an understatement.  Please tell me you are coming back to Csilla. _ ”  Thrawn made a glance over to the navi-computer, seeing that there were still at least another eight days before they would reach Lysatra.

“ _ I am on my way now.  Eli wishes to stop to see his parents before leaving again for the Ascendancy, but we are still days away. _ ”  Thrass nodded slowly, finishing cleaning the tears from his cheeks, and making an effort to appear more composed.

“ _ Why am I not hearing from him?  Is he well? _ ”

“ _ He is fine, we had the remnants of my crew to take care of and only just now regained some privacy on ship.  Eli and Jessa are resting. _ ”  Thrass tilted his head to the side, narrowing his eyes in confusion.

“ _ Jessa? _ ”  So Thrass did not know about Jessa, he hadn’t had a chance to ask Eli what updates he’d made to Thrass, what his brother did and didn’t know.  It seemed he’d be taking the initiative to inform him of Eli’s adopted daughter.

“ _ A child he has adopted, he told me that he saved her from a slaving operation.  She appears no more than seven years. _ ”

“ _ I can only assume this is the same child that Eli had told me about before. _ ”  Thrass smiled to himself and shook his head slowly.  “ _ I can’t say I am surprised, however, I don’t hear from Eli for some time again, and he adopts a child. _ ”

“ _ It is not surprising at all, Eli’s compassion is large, even for a Human. _ ”  Thrass looked Thrawn over again, his eyes lingering on his eyes.

“ _ You do not know do you, of Eli’s...trauma? _ ”

Thrawn froze for a moment, not in a perceivable way to an outside observer, but enough to give his mind pause.  Eli’s trauma, the invisible weight on his shoulders, no he did not know. He had his guesses, no doubt he was close to the truth already, and now the opportunity was before him to truly know.  But, learning this important truth from Thrass, instead of from Eli, it felt like some sort of betrayal to Eli’s trust. No, he should give Eli his own chance to explain it to him, he had faith in Eli to tell him everything when he was ready.

“ _ I do not know, but I have noticed it.  I wait for Eli to tell me of his past pains, in his own time. _ ”  He gave Thrass a stern look, affirming his decision, and his brother only smiled at him.

“ _ I believe that is a good choice. _ ”  Thrawn relaxed, returning his smile.  His brother was always so wise in the political and social spectrum, while he struggled with those skills, and still does.  If Thrass believed waiting for Eli is the best course of action, then Thrawn had chosen correctly. “ _ I have missed you Thrawn, so much.  Even when you had first left on your mission, I felt the pain of worry overtake me, which only grew tenfold upon your disappearance.  Please come straight to the family home on Csilla when you arrive, because I want a casual setting so that I may hug you for the first time in so many years. _ ”

“ _ You do not wish to put on a display for the other Ruling Families? _ ”  He teased, and thankfully Thrass took it in stride.

“ _ I would, no matter where we were upon your return, I would throw all formalities away, because I deserve to hold my blood kin. _ ”

“ _ You’re beginning to sound like me. _ ”

“ _ I know, and I hate it. _ ”  They smiled, and Thrawn wished deep in his heart that they could be reunited immediately.  He wanted his brother in his arms as much as Thrass wanted his. He may have grown out of his dependence on Thrass, but there was still a selfish part of him that wanted to hold his brother, trail after him and be protected by him, like when they were young children.  But with his Third Sight, he was taken away for training soon after being adopted, and saw very little of his brother from then.

Sky-walkers.  That was right, his news, his discovery, his people needed to know.  He had wanted to tell Eli first, but the opportunity hadn’t truly arose, but it had to be said, and Thrass was the only other person he trusted with this information.

“ _ Thrass, _ ” he began, his voice dropping slightly, as if he would somehow be overheard on a ship with a sleeping man who he trusted and a deaf girl, “ _ I have made a discovery. _ ”

“ _ What is it? _ ”  Thrass straightened up in the holo, picking up on the sudden shift in tone.

“ _ I believe I have found a way to prolong Third Sight. _ ”  Thrass flinched at his words, looking left and right, over his shoulder, securing that he was alone.

“ _ Are you being serious?! _ ”  He hissed, leaning closer, as if he also feared being heard.  Thrawn nodded in response.

“ _ I was stranded with a Jedi from this side of the galaxy, a child trained crudely with the way of the Republic’s Jedi Order.  And while with him, so close and in constant contact with him I felt...I felt like I did back when my ability first manifested.  I do not know precisely why it had returned, I can only assume it was this young Jedi, but from then, he told me the ways of his Force, and applying them to Third Sight, I could strengthen my abilities back to when I had still been in service as a Sky-walker. _ ”

“ _ Y-You have your Third Sight?! _ ”  Thrass gasped, having progressively more stunned as Thrawn had spoke.

“ _ I do.  That and perhaps more.  It might not be as we thought.  Third Sight could just be one of many possibilities that we Chiss possess through this, Force, as they call it. _ ”  Thrass cupped his chin, looking down in thought.

“ _ That is...shocking news.  Are you able to prove your claim, by demonstrating these...abilities? _ ”

“ _ I can.  With confidence. _ ”

“ _ This complicates things...we must keep this knowledge to ourselves until we know what to do with it.  The political turmoil in the Ascendancy has only been growing worse. Fighting with the Grysk, I fear, was the only thing keeping us together, and they know this.  They’ve been repelled, retreating into the deeper reaches of the Unknown Regions. They are waiting for our inevitable Civil War to pick us apart when we are fractured. _ ”

The Grysks.  Thoughts of those beings had plagued his mind and his dreams nearly every night for the past six years.  They were a growing threat and knew that their sights had been set on the Chiss, not knowing the outcomes of the eventual battles between them had ate away at his sanity.  At least now, he knew that the Ascendancy had not fallen to the enemy, but they were on the verge of spelling their own disaster.

“ _ You are right, this information could either strengthen or destroy the Ascendancy. _ ”

“ _ We will discuss more when you are here in person, in more secure locations. _ ”  Thrawn nodded his understanding.  That would be the worst way to return to his people, by bringing their destruction.  “ _ I cannot wait to see you again regardless of what you bring with you. _ ”

“ _ I feel the same.  I love you Thrass. _ ”

“ _ I love you Thrawn, please come back to me safely. _ ”  He flinched suddenly, looking down at something before him.  “ _ I am being hailed for a meeting, they are ready for me. _ ”

“ _ You were waiting for a meeting with the Ruling Families, and still took my transmission? _ ”  That was odd for Thrass to do, his comm shouldn’t even be active if he really was waiting just outside the conference chamber.

“ _ The fate of my brother is more important than what some Syndic want to cry about on a given day. _ ”  Thrawn smiled as his brother rolled his eyes.  He may be politically knowledgeable, but that didn’t mean he was enthused at dealing with the other political rats.  “ _ Knowing you are safe and on your way to me is enough to ease my thoughts.  I must go, please call again, I will expect more updates before you leave for Csilla. _ ”

“ _ I promise, farewell, I will see you again very soon. _ ”  He bowed in his chair at his brother, who returned the gesture.

“ _ Goodbye Thrawn. _ ”  The holo cut out and the projector shut down, leaving him alone again in the cockpit, a mind full of thoughts and a heart full of urging.  He wanted his brother.

He sat there for some time, how long he couldn’t tell, just absorbed in his thoughts, peering out at the swirling hyperspace.  He was not interrupted until the door behind him slid open, and by the foot falls, it was Eli. He did not turn, still stewing with thoughts of Civil War, collapse, death, and battles with formidable foes.

“Thrawn?”  He asked, stepping around to peer at Thrawn from the side.  Eli’s voice, acting as a soothing agent, had him relaxing, allowing him to pull back from his dark thinking.

“Eli.”  He acknowledged, turning to face the Human.

“I woke up and you weren’t there, sorry I got a little worried.”  He laughed to himself, looking down at his feet and sinking into the chair beside Thrawn.

“No worries, I awoke and so I moved you and Jessa onto the cot so you would be more comfortable.”

“Thanks for that, I definitely feel the difference in my back.”  He straightened up, holding up his arms to stretch them and his back out with a long drawn out groan.  “Have you just been sitting here?”

“No, I recorded my message to you on your crystal and contacted Thrass.”  Eli’s face fell suddenly, a realization flashing across his features.

“Kriff, I should have called him as soon as we dropped everyone off!”  He tensed completely, looking prepared to spring up and smash his hands across the console to rectify his mistake immediately.  Thrasn smiled, reaching out and taking Eli’s hand to stop him before he worked himself up.

“It is fine, I explained our situation, he is not upset.”  Eli looked down at their hands, turning his over to hold Thrawn back, giving the blue appendage a squeeze.

“Did...Did he tell you?”  He didn’t meet Thrawn’s eyes, but looked out of the cockpit, right at where Jessa still slept in the cot.

“Of what caused your pain in the past?  No, he did not. I wish for you to tell me yourself.”  Eli smiled sadly, turning back to look at him.

“I kinda half wish he had, but thanks I think it is better if I tell you.”  H took a deep breath, squeezing Thrawn’s hand, the other clutching at the fabric of his pants.  “Now’s a good a time as any.”

“Only if you are ready.”  Thrawn reminded.

“I’m ready, won’t be the first time I tell this story.  I had to tell it not too long ago, I can do it again, I just…”  He looked up at him, met his eyes, and flinched turning away again.

“You fear that I may judge you.”  He saw it now, Eli appeared ashamed, guilty.  Whatever had happened, it hurt him deep, mentally and emotionally.  He nodded slowly, affirming Thrawn’s words.

“Yeah...I’m worried you may think less of me.”

“Never.”  He stated firmly, giving Eli’s hand a long squeeze.  “I will never think less of you Eli. I can assure you of that.”  Eli laughed tiredly, as if he did it because he didn’t know what else to do, and shook his head.

“I sure hope so.”

“Eli, please.”  The Human bit his lip nervously, but nodded his head.

“Okay.”  He didn’t say anything.  His mouth opened a few times, a small sound coming out as if he were about to say something but took it back, not knowing where to start.

“It was a Sky-walker.”  Thrawn started for him. A jumping point to help Eli along, which seemed to do its job.

“Yes.  A Sky-walker. Her name was Tiviza, the first one under my command after being given my own ship.”  Thrawn couldn’t help but smile to himself, knowing that Eli thrived well enough among his people to earn the trust to command a ship.  “I tried refusing her, I hated the whole idea of Sky-walkers, children forced into service all because of some rare ability they couldn’t control getting.  But of course I couldn’t do that, so I had tried making her life as normal as possible. I wanted her to have a childhood, have fun, play, use her imagination.  I bought her toys, I had to teach her how to play with them, I had to show a child how to play and have fun.” He hissed the last of his sentence, getting slightly choked up at the end.  He took a deep breath, calming himself and continued.

“I did everything I could to make her happy in her off hours.  I became pretty well known in the CEDF as the one with the toys and that would let them play.  Everything was nice, I felt like...I felt like in everything but name, I was her father. We would talk about her introducing me to her real family when she was dismissed from service, meet her siblings, being able to go home and be normal again-”  His words turned strained, and he had to stop again.

“She fell in battle?”  He asked, though he already knew the answer.  Eli nodded, bowing his head, hiding his tears that must have started falling.  Thrawn reached forward, cupping Eli’s chin in his hand and tilting his head up again.  Only a few tears had fallen so far, but Eli’s face was twisted up in anguish, so much so Thrawn wished there was someone to blame for Eli’s pain, so that he might utterly destroy them for doing this to his love.

“Grysks attacked, one had some new technology we’d never seen before...lowered our shields and got a direct shot off on the bridge.  She was closest to point of contact...the only casualty-” A sob tore through the word and he had to stop talking, tears overtaking his ability to speak.  Thrawn stood from his seat, moving to the same as Eli’s sitting beside him so that he could pull the Human into his embrace. Eli fell into it immediately, burying his tear stained face into Thrawn’s chest.

He sobbed quietly, shoulders shaking under Thrawn’s hands.  His heart ached for Eli, wishing he could just take away this pain, crumble it in his hands and replace it with joy, happiness, anything but this unbearable agony that resided in his heart.

“It was my fault.”  He sobbed, his hands tightening into shaking fists against Thrawn’s body.  “I was supposed to protect her, and I couldn’t, I failed her, I-”

“Eli.”  Thrawn commanded, his voice booming and silencing Eli in one fell swoop.

“Don’t say such words.  You are not at fault for the tragedies of wartime.  You were her commander, you swore to protect her under your oath, and you did everything in your power to do so.  You cannot blame yourself for what happened anymore than you can blame the ship.” Eli sniffled, taking in shallow shaky breaths.

“You weren’t there Thrawn, she had a premonition before it happened, she cried in my arms and begged me to protect her and I failed her!”  Eli pulled back, glaring up at Thrawn, but he knew the anger wasn’t directed at him, Eli was angry with himself.

“You did everything in your power.  You are not capable of stopping explosions, or predicting new threats and technologies.  You were forced to take her with you, you cannot fester in your guilt over matters out of your hands.  Sometimes, we really cannot save everyone.” That was a lesson he himself had to learn, through a slow and arduous process, but he had come to terms with the idea eventually.  He couldn’t protect everyone, and neither could Eli.

“But, I should have...should have…”  His anger fell, shoulders slumping as his whole body succumbed to the exhaustion.

“This pain will never go away until you forgive yourself.  Only then will it begin to heal.”

“It’s hard…”  He whispered, falling against Thrawn’s chest again, burying his face into the crook of Thrawn’s neck.

“I know it is.  But when you’ve healed, you’ll be able to honor her, instead of mourn.”  Eli only nodded in response, sniffling against Thrawn and sinking deeper into his embrace.

Tiny footsteps alerted Thrawn to the approach of Jessa.  He looked up, seeing the small girl, doll in hand, and looking worried.  He motioned her over with one hand, and she came into the cockpit, standing before them.  Eli felt Thrawn’s movements, and looking up, he saw her as well. He flinched, scrambling to wipe his face with his sleeve, but it was too late, she had well seen.  Wordlessly, she held up the Chiss doll, pushing it towards Eli.

“She kept me safe, can she keep you safe now?”  She asked, stepping closer. Eli gave the girl a shaky smile, choking out a small laugh.  He nodded, taking the doll into his hands, caressing its cheek.

“Yes...thank you Jessa.”  He sniffled, giving the doll a hug, resting it over his heart, before leaning down to scoop Jessa up in his arms, doing much the same.  She hugged him back, and Thrawn brought one arm around to include her in his embrace of Eli. “We’re the strangest family, aren’t we.”

Thrawn stiffened a moment, hearing Eli say that.  Family, that’s what they were. Husbands, fathers, daughters, a family.  A union founded on trust, love, and compassion. The only family he had before was Thrass, no one in the CEDF or the Eighth Ruling Family made him feel that way, it had only ever been Thrass.  Not any more. This was his family now too.

“Perhaps.  But this is the family I would trade for no other.”  Thrawn answered him, placing a gentle kiss to his temple.

“I love you.”  Eli whispered, closing his eyes and leaning against Thrawn.  Whether it was to him, or to Jessa was unclear, but he believed it was to both.

“I love you.”  Thrawn echoed, giving both Humans a tighter hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy was this one long! I thought of maybe breaking it up into two chapters but I really didn't want to mess with the update schedule or the total chapters unless I can't help it.
> 
> Ezra's Home and with his family, Thrawn has spoken with his brother and has his own family, everything is coming together! Just one more chapter left, we have only the epilogue left and Destination Zero will finally be complete, until next week everyone!
> 
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


	30. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long five month journey, but we're finally at the end. It's been one hell of a trip but it seems we ourselves are at our Destination Zero. Enjoy the Epilogue and know, I'm going to miss this!

Everything he’s done, everything he planned to do, everything done while he was away, it all led to this.  Lead to him finally being home, under a blue sky, surrounded by his friends, his family. Knowing that somewhere, in the vastness of the Force, his parents were finally at rest, that Kanan was happy.  That’s what he’d fought for, what he’d sacrificed himself for, a safe and free Lothal, and it was really and truly a reality. For the first time, Ezra was at peace.

There was nothing left to fight, the Empire was gone, its oppression wiped from the galaxy.  The Emperor destroyed, Vader along with him, the Jedi were free to rise once again, and the people could rebuild.  The New Republic, keeping the reminder of the Empire and its tyranny close at heart, vowed to do right by the galaxy again.  The cause, was no more, and for once, they could all relax and finally enjoy a moment of peace.

The first few days back on Lothal, Sabine took him around, seeing all the good that had become of his world without the Empire.  The ashes where Tarkin Town was burned, had been rebuilt, a thriving community of smiling faces taking its place. Capital City had grown larger and brighter than Ezra had ever seen it, and it was even more breathtaking from within.  The lothwolves had been disappearing again, their sightings fewer and farther between, though he had caught sight of a pack running off into the mountains. Like him, their job was to protect Lothal when it was in need, and now that it was safe, they could go back to dormancy until the unfortunate day when they might be needed again.

Farms had been taken back by their rightful owners, the factories shut down and all its workers could return to their lives.  Sabine had said some were converted into making ships and weapons for the Rebellion on a completely volunteer basis, but after the war they were either shut down or return to domestic products.  Trade and market places grew as well, Lothal had bounced back even better than before Empirical reign. Their only threats now came from pirates and smugglers, but with people like Sabine around, the planet was safe under her protection.

He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to thank her or repay her for all she’s done.  Helped liberate his home, then dedicated herself to protecting it for him, and even then sought him out and rescued him from a six year exile.  All of that just for him. She wasn’t alone in the gratitude Ezra owed. Hera, Zeb, Kanan, Rex, even Kallus and Hondo, everyone who had come to his aid to help Lothal.  It was something they didn’t have to do, but they did for him, he was eternally grateful and he would never forget it.

And despite how much he owed them, they acted as if they owed him.  For his sacrifice, removal of Thrawn and the seventh fleet. While he agreed it was a great act, he didn’t see the need for them to praise him so highly for it.  To him, it was a necessary action he took, and would take it again in a heartbeat if need be. He could indulge them though. He wouldn’t turn down the chance to be honored and thanked, even if this was going a bit overboard.

“Do we really have to do this?”  He asked for what must have been the hundredth time these last few days.

“It’s your own fault.  What did you think was going to happen when you started showing your face all around Lothal.”  Sabine chastised playfully, giving his arm a small punch. “They’re the ones who wanted to put all this on, next time don’t save them from Imperial reign.”

He sighed with a smile, eyeing the activities before them.  A parade. The people wanted to put on a parade to celebrate his return and commemorate what he did for Lothal.  He thought it was far too much, and never liked parades to begin with, but it seemed their minds were made up and there was no way out of it now.  At least he wouldn’t be the only one, the entire group was called back to Lothal to suffer the celebrations with him. So out of all of this, he at least would have the chance to see all his friends again.

“Come on, watching them set up isn’t going to make it all go away.”  Sabine sighed, turning away and motioning for him to follow her. He lingered a second longer, watching as the citizens were decorating, cleaning, and clearing the streets, before following after her.

The first thing he registered after making it back to Hera and the Ghost was a heavy, strong, purple rug wrapping itself around him.  And of course, he didn’t fully register what it was until he caught a whiff of its scent. Choking, he tried struggling out of the hold, only for his long hair to be ruffled violently as the rug bellowed a laugh.

“Kid!”  Zeb laughed, finally letting him go and holding him at arm's length.

“Hey Zeb.”  He coughed back, blowing his hair out of his face.  Zeb lifted him up from his armpits, like he weighed as much as Jacen, and gave him a toothy grin.

“I never thought I’d say this, but I missed ya.”

“I missed you too, more than I thought I would at least.”

Zeb’s ears fell in embarrassment as he chuckled out a laugh.  Setting him down, he pulled him into a half arm hug, which was much more reasonable and didn’t smother his face into Zeb’s fur.  From around the large Lasat, came Kallus, giving Ezra his own sheepish smile.

“Hello Ezra, it’s...good to have you back.  You’ve certainly gotten...taller.” He spoke looking Ezra up and down, clearing not enjoying how much closer in height they’d become.  Good.

“Kallus, I guess it’s good to see you too.”  He answered, looking away as if something interesting had caught his eye.  Surprisingly, Zeb gave him a rough elbow to the side. “Ow hey, okay! It’s good to see you Kallus.”  Kallus chuckled under his breath and shook his head.

“Zeb, no need for that.”  He placed a hand on the Lasat’s arm.  “I do mean it Ezra, you absence has been felt by all of us.”

“I’d sure hope so.”  He laughed. “Yeah and uh, me too, sorta, I did miss you too, kinda.”  Kallus just smiled at him. “Your old boss is still an ass though.”

“You mean Grand Admiral Thrawn?”  Kallus asked and Zeb growled at the name.

“Thrawn, it’s too bad he isn’t around, I’d love to knock a couple of his screws loose, forever.”  He laughed a low rumbling chuckle. Ezra just smiled, he really didn’t want to get into that talk just yet.

“Yes, I’m glad you came out unscathed from this ordeal.”

“It’s gonna take a lot more than a ship full of Imperials to take me down.”  He held up an arm, flexing it and gripping the muscle with his hand.

“Quite.”

“Who else is all here?”  He looked around them, seeing more people milling around the Ghost than had been when he’d left for the temple.  Both Kallus and Zeb let out frustrated sighs, turning around to the group. He furrowed his brow in confusion and leaned around them trying to see the cause of their discomfort.

“Ezra Bridger!”  An all too familiar voice exclaimed with a laugh and Ezra understood completely.  Hondo Ohnaka, came swaggering up to them, the same self assured grin on his face as he always did, and Melch trailing right behind him, leaving what looked to be Vizago behind him.

“We’ll catch up late, kid.”  Zeb groaned rubbing the back of his neck.

“Have fun.”  Kallus said giving Eza what could only be described as an evil smile, before they both walked away.  He knew Kallus couldn’t be trusted. Once they’d walked away, he turned to face the pirate head on.

“Hondo!”  He met the man with the same amount of energy.  The Weequay placed a hand over his heart and gave him a small bow.

“It is great to be seeing you again, oh the galaxy has been a much sadder place without you and your fun little adventures!”

“Little?”  He asked but was ignored.

“I have been doing very well, business is booming!”  He laughed and looked to Melch who joined in. It was unsurprising to see Hondo in good spirits, he truly wondered if there was anything that actually got him down.  Since they were alone, might as well start getting all of his thanks out.

“Uh, that’s good to hear.  Look, I want to thank you for what you did, for Lothal, back when we liberated it.  That couldn’t have been done without your help so, thank you.”

“Of course, of course!  I would do it all in a second should you just ask.  But, uh, please try not to ask for some time, as I said, business is booming and booming well!”

“I’ll keep that in mind, hopefully I won’t have to ask for your help like that ever again.”  He meant that, if for once the galaxy could relax and remain peaceful without the threat of evil oppressive governments and world destroying war machines, he would be content with life.

“Hope, yes, yes, hope.  Hope is what kept your Rebellion going for so long, so let us hold onto hope.”  He smiled, and it seemed like one of the most sincere and genuine smiles he’s ever seen on Hondo before.

“Yeah, let’s do that.”  He could hold onto hope, he had been for years now, and it seems waiting and holding onto hope, turned out to be the best course of action.  Hope for a better future, hope for a free Lothal, hope that he’d be rescued, hope that his sacrificed mattered.

“Now come come, many people wait to see you my friend!”  Hondo placed a hand on the back of his shoulder, pushing him along towards the group.  As they walked, he caught sight of everyone.

The ones he knew were here and expected, Rex, Hera, Jacen, Chopper, Sabine, Ahsoka, Ryder and Jai.  And then the new additions, Zeb, Kallus, Hondo and Melch. And now the ones he hadn’t known arrived, Wolf, Ketsu, Mart Mattin, four people Ezra did not recognize at all, and, of all people, Lieutenant Lyste.

“Whoa whoa, who are they and why is he here?”  He asked pointing to the strangers and the Imperial officer.  The four strangers made a collective face as if they were expecting this and turned to look at Lyste who looked away.

“These are my new friends!  They work for me at my new business!”  Hondo cheered, moving over to the group, placing a hand on the woman and one of the men of the strangers.  The woman shrugged off the hand and scoffed with a smile.

“You work for us, don’t even try that.”  She said in a suspiciously Imperial accent.

“She’s right Hondo, and we all know it.”  Sabine teased, walking up beside Ezra.

“Um Sabine?”  He gave her a side eyed look before focusing back on the strangers.

“Right, yeah.  Well, these four here are the ex-imperials me and Ahsoka found on Atollon while looking for you.”  She began. He remembered her talking about them, the trip back to Lothal she’d detailed her and Ahsoka’s adventures while searching for him through the Force.  “And the ones we set up at the asteroid fuel refinery to protect it for the Purrgil, and we brought Hondo in to help them refine and sell the fuel to make some credits while out there.”  He nodded in understanding.

“Right I remember you mentioning them.  Uh, thank you for doing that, lots of people don’t want to lift a finger for creatures like the Purrgil, because they accidentally get in the way of Hyperspace lanes, so they need help.”

“Yeah we’ve noticed, Pirates that come around trying to uproot us don’t like them much at all.”  The woman sighed.

“We know better, Sabine Wren explained to us their usefulness to you.”  One of the men joined in.

“So who are all of you?”

“Right, this is Tyna,” Sabine started, pointing to the woman, “this is Flint,” she pointed to the man who had just spoken, “and Tex and Needo.”  Then to the final two. Each gave him a nod or a wave as Sabine called them off.

“It’s nice to meet you.”  He smiled at them all then turned to face Lyste.  “And him?”

“Yeah, he goes with them now.  Found him on Garel and he’d been trailing them ever since.”

“Hey I-”  Lyste tried to defend himself, but a look from Sabine had him quieting down.

“Well, at least they’re doing something good now.  Sorry for impersonating you that one time, you understand though right?”

“W-What, you were, wait!”

“Moving on!”  Sabine called interrupting Lyste from whatever rant he was launching into and steered him away from the group.

“Hondo and a bunch of Imperials running a fuel refinery and defending Purrgil?”  He said, really wanting to hear the strangeness aloud.

“I know, sounds like a bad kids story.”  Sabine laughed, pushing him over to Hera, Rex, Wolf and Ketsu.

“There he is, good goin’ kid, it’s good to have you back!”  Wolf called grabbing Ezra’s shoulder once he and Sabine had come close and giving him a rough shake.

“Yeah, not bad Bridger, I can see why Sabine keeps you around now, sorta.”  Ketsu teased giving them both a wink.

“Ketsu.”  Sabine warned.

“Alright fine, yeah you saved our butts that day, so thanks.”

“No problem, not a big deal at all really.”  He held up his arms, stretching casually only for Sabine to elbow him in the ribs.  “Ah! I was just joking, why are you all doing this to me?”

“Because you must have lost you manners out in space.”  She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

“Hey you’re one to talk!”  He flinched as Sabine raised a threatening fist but did so with a smile, she wasn't going to hurt him.

“Now kids, calm down.”  Hera interjected.

“I’m an adult now, you all should stop calling me kid!”  He defended.

“You’ll always be a kid to me.”  Rex chuckled.

“Start acting like an adult and we’ll see.”  Hera gave him a smirk. Fine, that was fair, maybe.

“I like you better as a kid, stop getting so big.”  Sabine jumped him and started ruffling his hair with her knuckles.

“Hey, stop!”  She didn’t and he couldn’t help but laugh along with her.

“I wanna play, I wanna play!”  Jacen screamed rushing from behind Hera to join them.

“Then let’s play my favorite, Rebels and Imperials.”  Sabine jumped down from him, kneeling down to be level with Jacen.

“Yes, can I be a Rebel?”

“Yep, and so will I, so that means Ezra’s the Imperial, run!”  Without giving him a chance to open his mouth the two leapt up and took off running.

“What, Sabine, hey wait!”  He chased after them, leaving the laughs of his friends behind him.

It felt nice being back, being able to see his friends, his family, to smile and have fun with them again.  To be teased by them even. He missed it, all of this, all of them, he was so unbelievably happy to be back, and would trade anything in this world to keep them all.  Hopefully, he’d never have to, so for now, he could just chase Sabine and Jacen around while everyone watches them grinning.

The fun had to come to an end eventually, as there was a parade they were all expected to be present for.  Though being able to relax around his friends again had taken the edge off of being uncomfortable. It was still there, but more manageable.  As a group, all of them reported to the stage at the beginning of the route, and brought before a large stage.

From here, he could really see everyone who had come to celebrate.  All of Lothal must have been here for this, they lined the streets, so thick with people, talking, waving, waiting, just for them.  For their, Lothal Protectors, as the people seemed to have named that. It wasn’t bad, but he wondered what Fenn Rau thought of the name.

The sun was beginning to dip closer to the horizon, maybe an hour from sunset now as the parade was about to begin.  Light parades were more fun anyway, but judging by the long light up tubes that suspiciously resemble lightsabers, they were hoping to mimic exactly that in the dark of night.

“Welcome, welcome!”  A loud deep voice echoed over the speakers drawing Ezra from his observations.  It was Ryder, standing on the stage, waving at the people. As the Governor again, he assumed that meant he lead parades again.  “We’re here to celebrate our Liberation Day, with none other than all members of the Lothal Protectors!” The crowd cheered and he waited for them to quiet down.  “Now let us welcoming all of the Lothal Protectors!”

They cheered again and Ryder began calling everyone one by one.  Starting with Sabine, then Hera, Chopper, Zeb, Kallus, Rex, Wolf, Hondo, Melch, Mart, Vizago, Ketsu, and Jai.  After each name the crowd would give their cheers, and after each name they gave the same amount of energy to every single person, and droid.  They truly did honor and respect each and every single one of them equally, they were all saviors in the eyes of the people.

“And of course, myself, who’s already on this stage.  But what makes this particular celebration different, is that, for the first time, all the Lothal Protectors are together in one place, with the return of Ezra Bridger!”  The crowd cheered again, and he belatedly realized that was hi cue to join the others on the stage. As he scaled the stairs, coming into the view of the citizens, their cheers grew even larger.

He’s never been the center of so much positive attention before.  Being wanted by the Empire gave him plenty of scenarios where he was watched by all eyes, but none of them were welcoming.  And he’d been praised in small groups in the Rebellion for successful missions, but now, almost every person on Lothal was cheering for him.  It was nice, reminded him what he had been fighting for, and it was a nice change of pace, if a bit overwhelming.

He smiled sheepishly at the crowd and waved meekly at them, coming up to stand in between Hera and Sabine.  He stood there, staring out at the sea of people as they waited for them to fall quiet again. If this was how they acted when they came out for a parade, he wondered how they celebrated on the original Liberation Day.

“Now, all living members of the Lothal Protectors are here, but we still must honor those that have passed on.”  Ryder’s voice fell, bowing his head respectively. Behind them, the display screen came on and displayed an image of who Ezra thought was Gregor.  They must not of had a more recent photo of him, and resorted to using his image on file from the Clone Wars.

“A good soldier for the Republic, and an even better one for Lothal, lost in the attack on the Imperial dome.”

He hadn’t realized that Gregor had been lost when taking the dome.  In hindsight, seeing only Rex and Wolf with no Gregor had been suspicious, but this confirmed that.  He would be missed, Ezra lost a friend, but Rex and Wolf lost a brother. Silently, he sent a thank you to the lost Clone, for all his service.

Then the image changed to Kanan, and Ezra’s breath caught.  They seemed to only be able to find a wanted poster the Empire had on file of him, the image of a younger looking Kanan, an image long forgotten in Ezra’s mind.  His master, his mentor, his father. If anyone deserved to be up here on this stage, it was him. He wouldn’t be here now if it weren’t for Kanan, his lessons, his teachings, his guidance.  Lothal was free, because of Kanan.

“A Jedi and Rebel at heart, lost to us to return our General Hera to us.”  Ezra turned to look at Hera, who looked forward with a strained smile on her lips.  Jacen at her hip holding her hand tightly, Chopper holding her other one.

Then the display changed again, and Ezra furrowed his brow.  Who else was missing, everyone was accounted for now, those of the group that were there for the Liberation of Lothal, who fought for it, who else could he be forgetting.  Turning to look up at the next lost Protector, he froze, feeling a chill run up and down all of his veins.

It was a picture of his parents, the very one Ezra would gaze at in his youth.  Them and him, before the Empire came along, taking them from him forever. They were long gone before they even thought of liberating the planet, before Imperial reign had gotten worse.  And yet, they were up there, for everyone to see, for everyone to honor.

“Mira and Ephraim Bridger, the ones who started it all.  Defying the Empire, even at the cost of their own lives. Their sacrifice got the wheel turning that lead to our final stand against Imperial forces, and success of freeing Lothal.  We owe this all to them.”

Ryder was right, his parents were the spark that started this all.  That gave him his fighting spirit that with the Ghost, his family, could thrive.  Gave him the resolve and determination to see a free Lothal. Even at the very end, he knew in his mind and his heart that he was finishing what they started.  They passed him the torch that he used to light the Empire on fire.

“You did it, mom and dad.”  He whispered to himself under the roar of the cheering crowd.  Cheering for his family.

“We did it Ezra.”  Hera spoke suddenly into his ear, draping her arm over his shoulders.  “They started it, we continued it, and you finished it.” She smiled warmly at him, and he was lost then.  He nodded, feeling a lump forming in his throat, blocking a chance to answer. She held him tightly, Sabine coming up on his other side, placing a reassuring hand on his arm.  With their support, he managed to calm himself back under control. Just in time it seemed.

“Now, before we can kick off the parade, who would like to hear a word from Ezra Bridger, the young man who gave himself up for our planet’s sake?”  Ryder called loudly, accompanied by the roar of the crowd again. He turned to give the governor a look, because no one had warned him that he would need to give a speech, or address the people at all.  Ryder only gave him a sly smile and approached, microphone in hand.

He tried refusing it, but it was too late, the people expected him to speak, and there was no way out of it.  He held the microphone in both his hands and stared out at the crowd. The murmurs had died down and they all sat, waiting patiently for him to speak.

“Um, hello.  I wasn’t exactly expecting to have to give a speech, so I don’t have one.  Instead, I guess, I just want to thank all of you. For living here, loving Lothal, taking care of it, I did what I did for all of you, for this world, it’s our home.  It’s beautifully, and I couldn’t sit by and watch the Empire kill it, oppress you all, kill you. I was too late for some of you, Old Joe, Mr. Sumar. But I’m happy that as a whole, you all are safe and Lothal has been saved.”

He turned, looking up at the screen, seeing it trisected to show Ezra’s parents, Kanan and Gregor all together.  He smiled sadly and turned back to the crowd.

“I’m so happy to have finished what my parents started all those years ago.  They showed me that you don’t have to roll over and submit to injustice, and I hope that in their name, that you all realize this too.”

They erupted with applause, and he found that this time it wasn’t so overwhelming.  Because this wasn’t just about him, it was about all of them, his friends, his family, all who stood up and said no in the face of the Empire.  So he smiled, even as the cheers died down, and Ryder declared the beginning of the parade, he smiled, having Hera and Sabine at hs sides, his friends at his back.  Because he was home, and his home was happy to have him back, and he knew, with all of them, nothing could come along and take Lothal down ever again.

He did it, his parents did it, they all did it.  The galaxy was free, and Ezra Bridger, was truly happy.

* * *

 

The frigid wind bit at his nose and cheeks, the snow beneath his boots found a way to penetrate and turn his toes numb, and his robes did next to nothing to keep out the chill from his skin.  Despite all this, they were the least worrisome things going on in Eli’s mind. Even with Thrawn at his side, his mind was racing alongside his heart. In the icy underground tunnel leading up onto the surface, he wished for the cavern to collapse in on him and suffocate him so he didn’t have to take another step.

But no such merciful calamity befell him, and he and Thrawn continued forward up into the bright daylight of Csilla’s surface.  To a place he had been only once, and thought he could never stomach to go again. But they had to, he had to. If he ever hoped for things to change, for him to get better, this needed to be done.  With only a small hesitation to take a deep breath, he and Thrawn came out of the cave and into a Chiss graveyard.

In his cultural lessons after first coming to the Ascendancy, he learned that, in death, Chiss were buried on the surface, with only an ice pillar and plaque to mark their resting place.  Believing that Chiss needed to be returned to snow of their home, under the glimpses of sunlight and above the cities and catacombs of ice so they could watch over and pass warriors fortune onto their descendants.  For Chiss, braving the surface for short periods of time was no difficult process, but for Humans like Eli, he needed extreme protection or far less exposure or he could succumb to hypothermia.

At the funeral, he had been permitted to appear out of uniform so he could protect himself from the cold, but had turned it down.  She deserved him to honor him in his full rank, and as her commanding officer. He did not stay for the full ceremony regardless, though it hadn’t been the cold that made him retreat.

Now he trekked into the snow much the same, without any protective garb.  He wanted to appear before  _ her _ in his robes, so if there was some life after death and she could look down upon him, she would know the significance of this day.  Thrawn, matching his outfit stood sturdy at his side, and allowed Eli to direct them through the ice pillars to the spot that he knew was ingrained in his memory until the end of time.

They were silent the whole way, only the sound of howling winds over the snow hills to accompany them.  Thankfully, he could see no one else among the ice graves of her family resting place, so they had the peace and privacy he needed.  As they neared their destination, he began to slow further and further. He knew Thrawn would have noticed, but he allowed him to do so, matching his speed without word.  He was so lucky to have Thrawn there beside him, his presence alone was the only thing that kept him from turning back now and pretending like this hadn’t even been an idea to cross his mind.

The pillar came into sight, even from this distance he knew it to be the one.  His breath caught sharply in his throat, he came to an abrupt halt. Thrawn took one more step and paused, turning to him.  Despite the cold he felt all around his body, he was sweating, his robe sticking to his back and the collar catching on his neck.  His palms had become clammy and he clutched at the cloth of his robes tightly.

That was it, where she was buried, where she laid down for the final time, where she’d remain until the end of time itself.  Forever, stuck in the icy snow with only a pillar and numerous identical ones surrounding it. She’d never have a chance to smile again, or laugh, jump, play, cry, and it was his fault she was trapped in that hole now.

Tears sprung to his own eyes, and he fought them back if for no other reason than fear they’d freeze to his cheeks.  Suddenly, a hand covered one of his own, chilly but warmer than the surrounding air and helped warm his shaking fingers.  Tearing his gaze from the grave, he focused on Thrawn who had come to stand before him, slowly prying his fingers loose and taking the hand in his own.

“She is waiting for you.”  He spoke softly in basic, cradling Eli’s hand, rubbing his blue fingers across the brown skin, warming it slowly.  Not trusting his voice, he simply nodded and allowed Thrawn to guide him now. He must have seen which one he had been staring at, for when he began walking, tugging Eli reluctantly behind him, he went exactly where they needed to be.

As they neared, Eli began tugging back against Thrawn, his heart rate speeding up, fear riding high in his throat, so much so he wanted to scream and run, but Thrawn was firm and yet gentle.  Holding his hand, he refused to let go, but would turn back, offering him reassuring smiles that helped him along a few more steps. Up until they were there, standing before the ice pillar and engraved plaque at its base.

_ Tiviza - Honorable Sky-Walker to the Chiss Expansionary Defence Fleet _

That’s all it read, as if her worth and value was all summarized in her title to the Chiss Navy.  When in reality, she was so much more. A charming witty girl, with insight beyond her years, a heart big enough to hold the entirety of the Ascendancy inside, and dreams of a bigger and better life.  Adventure on her horizon, all plucked from her far too soon.

Thrawn pulled him closer, standing him beside the Chiss, directly in front of the tomb of a girl he regarded as a daughter.  He gave his hand an encouraging squeeze but did not let go. He needed that, should Thrawn release his hold on him, Eli would have lost all his grounding and wasn’t sure he could keep himself from falling apart into the snow.  Being faced with the physical reality of his grief was harder than the nightmares, the sleepless nights, and the memories.

But he had a task here.  Eli was no coward, he wouldn’t run from this, he wouldn’t hide any longer.  Tiviza deserved to be honored, not grieved like this. She didn’t deserve to be shunned by Eli because he couldn’t cope.

Upon their return to Csilla, after all the reunions had been taken care of, Thrawn and Thrass had devised behind his back to have him speak with a family grief counselor, who specialized in war time traumas.  He had fought them at first, but with some urging, he relented. It was scary to willingly open up long closed doors of his past, but it was more terrifying waiting for them to burst open after overflowing. After some time, it was he who had suggested that he should revisit Tiviza’s grave.  Not the counselor, not Thrawn, but him, he needed his own closure, that which he denied himself all those years ago.

Now that he’d come all this way, there was no turning back.  Taking a deep and shaky breath, that burned all the way down, which came out as an even shakier sigh, he felt as ready as he may ever be for this.

“Hello Tiviza.”  He began lamely in Cheunh, not knowing how else to address the equivalent of a tombstone.  “I’m sorry I never came to visit, you were probably lonely, that’s my fault, I’m sorry I-”

“Eli.”  Thrawn interrupted, giving his hand another squeeze.  Right, he was meant to work on not blaming himself.

“Ah, right um.  Yes, I’m sorry for not visiting sooner, it was too painful.  But I’m working on getting better, for myself, my loved ones, and for you.  And I needed to say goodbye, like I should have before.” Smiling sadly, his eyes trailed down to the snow just in front of Tiviza’s pillar.  “But first, I have someone I want you to meet, I told you about him, my Chiss friend who I named the toy after.” He reached out, placing his free hand on Thrawn’s shoulder.  “This is Mitth’raw’nuruodo, Thrawn.”

“It is a pleasure, Tiviza.”  Thrawn spoke, bowing respectfully to the grave.  “My only regret is not to have met you in your waking life.”

“I found him, brought him back to his home, and we’re bonded.  It has been official for sometime, but our ceremony is today, and I knew it wouldn’t be complete without you.  I wish you could still be here today, that you could join us.” He sighed sadly, lip trembling, and Thrawn pulled him closer, reminding him he was there for him.

“There’s another, she’s not with us, it’s far too cold and perhaps too morbid for the poor thing.  Her name is Jessa Zaitvi Vanto, I’ve adopted her, gladly taken up the torch of raising her. I know you two would have been good friends, she would have loved you, she certainly loved your doll.”  He caught on the last word and took a moment to compose himself. “She’s a good girl, and has been through a lot, but I love her, and will see that she grows up happy and healthy, I won’t fail again.”  Thrawn have his hand a squeeze and a sharp look, he was blaming himself again, but he didn’t care. He meant his words, he failed Tiviza, he wouldn’t fail Jessa, to hell what Thrawn and the counselor said, he could move on and still be responsible for what happened.

“But, speaking of your doll.”  He released Thrawn’s hand, immediately feeling the cold seep into his flesh once it was exposed again.  Reaching into the large cloaks he pulled out three items, cradling them delicately in his hands. Tiziva’s toys, the Chiss doll named after her, and the two smaller toys of a Chiss Captain and Admiral, named after Eli and Thrawn respectively.  The only of her toys he’d kept to himself, to remember her, and in the end, had left out of sight until he felt the pain come stronger than usual. They were his crutch, specifically the doll of Tiviza, but he didn’t need them anymore. If he were to grow and get better, he’d have to give them up and go forward on his own.  It was time they returned to their rightful owner.

“These have helped me so much, given me strength when I had none, and provided comfort to not only me but to Jessa.  It is time I give them back, if I can’t persist on my own, I won’t be able to at all. Besides, I think I’ve borrowed your toys for long enough.”

He looked down to the right of the pillar, just beside the base was a small clear display case.  Back before space travel and more modern technologies, Chiss would bury their kind with offerings of food, gems, money, and possessions that were praised greatly by the deceased.  This practice has fallen out of common practice, but some Chiss still honored the tradition. After getting the permission of Tiviza’s blood kin, they had arranged that such a box be installed beside her grave, so that he may lay her toys to rest with her.

Kneeling down in the soft snow, ignoring the stinging pain of the cold, he opened the top of the box.  First, he took the doll, bringing it to his lips and placing a light kiss to its forehead. He caressed the back of its head, feeling the hair one final time before pulling away and lowering it, standing up, inside the box.

“She is back with you, thank you for allowing me to hold onto her for so long.”  He bowed his head respectively. Then, taking the Captain named after him, he set it down beside her.  “Now, hopefully, a part of me will be with you, even in death.” And finally, the Admiral named after Thrawn he placed beside the captain.  “And he can watch over them both, I trust him to do that.” With all the toys secure, he sealed the box again, and stood on shaky legs beside Thrawn.  The Chiss took his hand again and he was grateful for that.

“I’m going to miss you, stars I already do.”  The lump in his throat came back, and he tried to swallow it but he was too late trying to catch it.  Tears slid down his cheeks unbidden, but he smiled through it all. “I hope that wherever you are, you’re happy and can be a kid forever, a true kid who plays, and has fun.”  A broken sob made its way out, but he turned it into a laugh. “Goodbye Tiviza, I’ll always love you, as if you were my own daughter.” He took a slow breath in, and gave the ice pillar a bow, Thrawn joining him in it.

Once he was fully upright again, the damn burst.  Tears fell freely down his cheeks, despite how the blowing winds made them sting the entire way down.  He tried covering his face, and keeping his sobs quiet, but they were alone regardless, and if anything, the howling wind might drown out the sounds.

Thrawn’s arms circled him, pulling his head into his chest, where Eli could freely cry.  And cry he did, nuzzled into the warmth of Thrawn’s chest, grateful for Chiss natural heat preservation, feeling Thrawn’s arms supportively on his back.  Thrawn, his husband, he could think of no better spouse.

Together, in Thrawn’s arms, they stood before Tiviza’s grave, Eli crying his heart out.  Even long after he could no longer feel his toes, and his ears had gone numb, and his tears had slowly dried up, he stayed there.  With Thrawn’s arms around him, his heart to his ear, he watched Tiviza’s grave, lingering on the three toys in the display case. And he smiled.  It hurt, it would never stop hurting, but for a moment, it felt nice, to talk to her, give her things back, and to share this memory with Thrawn.

Eventually, he had to pull away, wiping the leftover tears from his cheeks before they could freeze.  He sniffled, and composed himself a bit better. Thrawn only let him move away so far, keeping him in his arms securely.  When it was clear Thrawn wasn’t letting him go without a fight, he turned up to look at his husband’s face.

“I’m okay.”  He assured him with a weak smile.

“No you are not.”  Thrawn answered, a loving smile meeting him in return.  He sighed, shaking his head and nuzzling back into Thrawn’s chest.

“Yeah, I’m not okay, but I’m better.”  He did feel better, like some weight had been lifted.  As if there had been a boulder crushing his heart for years now had finally been lifted.  It wasn’t gone, not entirely, but enough so that he could breathe again.

“That you are.”  Thrawn nuzzled his hair and planted a gentle kiss to the top of his head.  “We should return, you are getting dangerously cold.” Eli nodded in response and slowly pulled all the way away from Thrawn, who let him go this time.  He turned to Tiviza’s ice pillar, reaching out with cold fingers, and tracing the surface with them. He smiled sadly, kissing his fingertips and planting them on the surface of the ice.

“Goodbye.”  It came out as a whisper, like a secret between her and him.  Thrawn gave another bow, bidding her farewell and together they made the walk back underground.

Returning to the Mitth family home, they were immediately met with an excited Jessa and a disappointed looking Thrass.  Jessa ran up to Eli, arms up ready to be picked up. Gladly he hoisted the girl up, only for her to whine and squirm.

“Eli!  You’re cold!”  She cried, kicking her feet.  Chuckling he put her back down and she ran back to Thrass.

“Mitth’eli’vanto, I thought I instructed you to  _ not _ go out only in only your bonding robes.”  Thrass lectured him, arms crossed over his chest.

“Did you think that I was going to listen?”  He countered. Thrass rolled his eyes, but did at least smile.

“I swear, you and my brother were made for each other.”

“I will take that as a compliment.”  Thrawn joined in.

“You really shouldn’t.  Now go get warmed up, after all the effort to arrange this ceremony, we can’t exactly do it while you’re in the hospital with hypothermia.”  He had a point, and being back in the warm house made him realize just how cold he had been.

“Fine, I will.  And thank you for watching Jessa while we were out.”  He answered taking off the baggy robes and folding them neatly on the nearby sitting chair until he was just in his undershirt and pants.

“Yes of course, of course, now will you please go do that somewhere in private!”  Thrass exclaimed, averting his eyes and holding up a hand to shield himself from Eli’s apparent nakedness.

“Yeah sorry.”  He made a pass by Thrawn, giving him a light kiss, which was met with Jessa giggling declarations of ‘ew’ and ‘gross’ before he retreated into his and Thrawn’s chambers, searching for a hot bath.

The door closed to his back, he leaned his entire weight against it, placing a hand to his heart, which hadn’t stopped racing since it started.  After such a raw emotional exposure, he got to return to such a domestic setting. His daughter rushing into his arms, his husband at his side supporting him when he felt too weak to hold himself up, his brother watching after them all and doing so gladly.

It wasn’t a life he ever thought he’d have, that he never even thought of having.  But now he had it, saw it, lived it, and stars if he didn’t love it. He was happy, really and truly happy.  He had a commanding role in one of the most advanced fleets in the universe, a loving husband that was the love of his life, a wonderful daughter he’d pledged to protect, a family here, a family on Lysatra.  It was more than a young man straight out of the academy, expecting to sit alone on some outpost pouring over manifests the rest of his life had dreamed of. He’d lost along the way, but he’s gained far more than he could ever lose again.  And even a loss had a silver lining, because he at least had her memories.

Feeling lighter than he has in years, he pushed away from the door and set to warming himself up.  This was his wedding day, and he would only get one. He wanted it to be perfect so he’d have yet another memory to smile back on as the years dragged on, and his hair turned gray as his face succumbed to wrinkles.  His wedding day.

Eli had attended bonding ceremonies before.  Either as a favor to those under his command or due to the requirements of his rank.  Never did they look so beautiful to him. Now that is was his wedding, his ceremony, he thought the room glowed and the ceiling sparkled.  More than that, Thrawn looked like the most stunning being in the entire universe.

Bonding ceremonies are usually private, or very exclusive, limiting to only representatives of the families in question, blood kin, the officiator, and very few chosen guests.  For this ceremony there was only them, the officiator, Thrass as the representative, and Jessa. And Eli would have it no other way.

He and Thrawn stood across from each other in the center of the ice cavern, the high ceiling just clear enough that some of the sunlight could filter down, creating sparkling glints off the ice.  They wore matching burgundy robes, traditional wear for a bonding ceremony, and the color of the Mitth family. Thrass and Jessa stood to the side, observing happily, the officiator between them, holding a long golden chain in her hands.

She started the ceremony by handing Thrawn and Eli each end of the chain, passing it delicately into their finger.  Eli had the open link, Thrawn having the closed one. Satisfied, she bowed between them and clapped her hands together.

“We may begin the unionizing of these two beings, linking their souls together until the sands of time cease to fall.”  She said in Cheunh, as if there were an audience of more than just them four, one of whom was deaf. Though it was difficult with the chain in his hand, he signed along with her as best he could so Jessa could understand.  “The Mitth resident, Mitth’raw’nuruodo holds the closed circlet, symbolizing the family of whom he comes from, and Mitth’eli’vanto bares the open link, symbolizing his addition into the great Eighth Ruling Family. Are you prepared for this union?”  She asked, turning around to look at each of them one at a time.

“Yes.”  Thrawn said first.

“Yes.”  Eli answered without even a second of hesitation.

“Then begin to step backwards until the chain is taught.”  They did as instructed, moving in unison, one step back at a time as the chain tightened.  “Now, one at a time, you will state your pledge and take a step forward, sealing it in ice.”  She turned to Thrawn prompting him to begin.

“Loyalty.”  He spoke, taking one firm step forward.

“Commitment.”  Eli echoed his own answer following suit.

“Adoration.”  A step.

“Devotion.”  Another.

“Strength.”  Step.

“Compassion.”  Step.

“Humility.”

“Confidence.”

They were only one step each away now, so close.  Thrawn smiled at him, and Eli smiled back, feeling his heart swelling under his gaze.

“Love.”  Thrawn’s final step.

“Love.”  Eli repeated, taking his final step so they were face to face once again.  Without prompting, they completed the next step. Thrawn holding out his closed link, and Eli adding his to is through the open ring.  The Officiator came up to them, using her tools to close Eli’s ring and taking the chain in her hands.

They let their ends go, the chain now a consistent circle, and let it hang in the woman’s hands.  She inspected their rings, red eyes trailing up and down the links. Then, taking the chain tightly in her fists, she yanked it in opposite directions with all her might, testing its strength.  The chains remained connected.

“This union is approved.”  She called, holding up the chain into the light of the surface.  She stepped forward, handing the combined chain to Eli. He draped it over Thrawn’s neck like a necklace, letting the excess dangle down at their feet.  Then Thrawn took up the other end, turning it over and doing the same to him, so that between them, the chain crossed over itself, like the symbol of infinity.

“The chain is strong, as is their bond.”  She began again, Eli still signing along for Jessa.  “Their souls tied together with this gold chain until the time that both their lights leave their eyes.”  She bowed deeply between them, and turned away, taking her leave.

A rushed breath escaped Eli’s lips, staring up at Thrawn.  They were married, completely, legally and spiritually linked for life.  Thrawn was his husband, in writing and in heart. It was everything he ever could have hoped for.  Thrawn smiled, leaning down and pressing his forehead to Eli’s own. They stayed like that, connected only by their foreheads, breathing each other's breaths, bathed in the glittering light of the sun.

“I love you.”  Eli gasped, unable to wait any longer to say it again.

“I love you too.”  Thrawn answered, slowly opening his eyes to gaze into Eli’s eyes.  And like that, he was gone. Reaching up, he cupped Thrawn’s face, cradling his head between his hands and pushed up, connecting their lips, in the first kiss after their official bonding ceremony.

Nothing would ever amount to the feeling of his husband’s lips against his own on the day of their wedding.  This would be a memory that would last in his mind even after all the others were lost to time and age. This, he couldn’t forget even if he wanted to.  They kissed under the ice, in the spot where Thrawn’s people had been bonded for generations, the sun blessing them, feeling like a warmth had cascaded over them.

They were only interrupted when a tiny body collided with Eli’s leg.  They parted, gazing into each other’s eyes once more, brown into red, red back into brown, before pulling away.  Jessa was at his feet, hugging his leg tightly and smiling wide up at him. She held up her arms, wanting to be picked up, and he did so gladly, holding her between them both.

“Congratulations!”  She exclaimed looking between them.  Thrass came up then, giving them a bow with a smile.

“Congratulations my brothers.”  He said after coming back up.

“Thank you, thank you both.”  He said, grateful that Thrawn signed for Jessa on his behalf.  “I could never have even asked for a better family.” He nuzzled Jessa’s hair and leaned up giving Thrawn’s cheek a peck.

“Well, let us hope your new husband does not spark a civil war when he delivers his news of Sky-walkers tomorrow.  Just in case, you should enjoy your wedding night while you can.” Eli laughed, Thrawn seeming less inclined to do so.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, and if things go south, Mom and Dad said we’re welcome back anytime.”

“Please do take me with you if that happens.”

“Of course Thrass.”  Thrawn answered him.

“I know I already have done this, but I feel it bares repeating.  Welcome to the Eighth Ruling Family, Mitth’eli’vanto.” Thrass bowed to him again, and he bowed his head in response, unable to do a full bow with Jessa in his arms.

“Thank you Syndic Mitth'ras'safis, brother.”  This was it, his family, the one he didn’t expect but still loved with all his heart.  They were together and whole. “I love you, all of you so much, you’ve each given me so much, I only hope to give you just as much back.”

“You are enough Eli.”  Thrawn said, lowering his head to kiss his cheek gently.  “Having your love is more than I could ever ask from you.”

“Me as well Eli, your friendship and bringing back my brother places me in your debt.  You have my love as well.” Eli gave Jessa a small squeeze in his arms, leaning against Thrawn’s chest, letting their words sink in.

“Thank you.”

“Me too!”  Jessa jumped in, turning to look up at Eli and signing along.  “I love you too Eli!”

His eyes widened, Jessa’s words echoing in his ears.  He heard her right, and she looked so sincere, smiling wide up at him.  She reached up, hugging him around the neck tightly. She squeezed him tightly, and a wellspring fell from Eli’s eyes.  Because he never knew he needed to hear those words from her, and now he was crying again, his happiness too much to contain.  Thrawn’s arms encircled them both, pulling them tightly against his chest and Eli relaxed into the embrace.

He had a family, he was loved, and for once, everything was right where he wanted it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we made it. Destination Zero in its 30 chapter glory standing at over 150K words. It's been a long trip, well over a year for me, and five months for all of you, I'm happy its over, but also sad. We've done so much, and I got to tell a long arching story that you all thankfully enjoyed as much as I did. Now we're at the end, everyone has their happy ending, and we can move on.
> 
> I want to thank you all for reading, commenting, kudos-ing, bookmarking, everything you've done as I've posted this fic. I'm just as happy to have given you a great story as you must be for having one to read. I'm going to miss you all now that the current longest Thranto fic is finished, but I'll cherish our journey together!
> 
> This isn't goodbye, i have lots of things planned for the future, long shots, short fics, multichapter fics, all waiting to be written. So after a short break and maybe after this semester, I'll be back posting more, or maybe sooner who knows. Just remember that as long as I'm able, I want to keep writing, so long as you keep reading and enjoying! <3
> 
> Goodbye for now  
> Stay Wizard  
> ~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> My new multi chapter fic, this one I've been working on for almost a year now and am happy with how well its been going on so far! Here's the prologue, to kick start this adventure!
> 
> The update schedule is going to be two a week, every Tuesday and Friday, hoping to get the story all wrapped up by the time Thrawn Treason comes out in July. I'll be at Celebration this weekend, so the update might be late on Friday, or very early, but I'll try and get it out. If any of you are going hit me up!
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the start, I'll see you Friday!  
> Stay Wizard  
> ~Mortis
> 
>  
> 
> Fun Fact: ELI IS A POC, DON'T WHITE WASH HIM PLEASE <3


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